GM's thread about nothing (89 Viewers)

[St. Louis Bob]

So, uh, how about we talk about warts? Not warts from touching a frog, but you know, maybe a wart near the bottom of your shaft. You know, hypothetcially of course. You see, I, um, know this guy who apparently has one, and he had an interesting visit with the doctor yesterday regarding this wart issue. Anyone here have any similar experiences they'd like to share?

Ask your buddy what the doctor said. I imagine that getting a second opinion from DR. Jim Tan will be...interesting.

So my buddy, lets call him, Dagzooks, had a regular check up last week with his doctor. After checkup was done, the doc asked me, I mean, Dagzooks, if there was any other issues or questions. Dagzooks mentioned this "thing" he had in private area and the Doc took a look. Dagzooks said he thought it was from a knick from the razor when he was shaving down there. The Doc looked at it and then used one of those eye tools to zoom in with light and then the Doc smiled and said, "nope, that's a wart, and it looks like there might be another really small one next to it" The doctor advised seeing a uralogist to look at it. So I, er, I mean Dagzooks went to the Uralogist yesterday.

Before the Uralogist came in, a nurse was came in to check blood pressure, pulse etc. The nurse looked familiar to Dagzooks (small town, and Dagzooks is very involved in a lot of civic groups, so he has probably bumped into about 70% of the townspeople over the years) Dagzooks wondered if the nurse knew who he was AND if the nurse knew why he was there. Nurse leaves and Uralogist comes in. He looks at the "area" and says it some very fancy word that Dagzooks didn't understand. Uralogist said its "basically a wart passed on from sexual activity and that's its very common" (I wonder if it is very common or if he just said that to make Dagzooks feel better?)

Uralogist then said there were a couple options to take care of it. One option would be to take care of it at home by applying some ointment to it every day for a couple weeks and covering it with a bandage and then coming back to see him again to check on it. Or he said they could remove right there with a little novocaine to ease the pain. Dagzooks wanted option number 2 so it would be done quicker. Uralogist said he could it right then and Dagzooks agreed. He left the room and then the nurse came back in. Dagzooks then got nervous because now this nurse who probably knows him, now definitely knows why he is here and what's going on. The nurse nervously asked questions about alergies to medications and then told him he could sit down if he wanted (apparently Dagzooks was pacing across the room with his arms folded and sweating profusely) Then she said the Uralogist would be back in to talk to him because the procedure probably won't happen today. Uralogist came back and said that he couldn't do it in his office due to new regulations and that it would have to be scheduled for the OR in the main hospital. Dagzooks agreed to do it with just novocaine because if he was completely knocked out for the "surgery" that would mean he need someone to pick him up and drive him home. Dagzooks would prefer no one knows about this.

So the nurse just called him an hour ago to tell him when the "surgery" is scheduled for and gave him directions about not eating the night before and if he showers that morning, only to use basic soap and no lotions at all. He asked where does he go exactly, and the nurse said to just go to the main receptionist and tell her his name and that he has an appointment for surgery. As luck would have it, the receptionist is the neighbor to Dagzook's mother. Also, Dagzooks has participated in several fund raising events for the hospital and knows a lot of the doctors and staff there. The awkwardness of this whole thing just keeps getting better and better.

Question: in the event that someone not involved in the surgery asks Dagzooks about why they saw him at the hospital, what is a nice basic non-embarrasing surgery he could tell people he was there for?

My friend Dagzooks appreciates your input and your tpw's. Dagzooks and I love you.

I just printed this out for Mrs. SLB.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Gosh damn fellas, don't you ever LOOK at the tunnel before you enter it?

They kind of get skittish when you bust out the speculum.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Gosh damn fellas, don't you ever LOOK at the tunnel before you enter it?

They've always asked that the room be VERY dark.

 

[UOFI_316]

They're putting you under general anesthesia for a friggin genital wart?!?!?

You need to write "BULL#### MONEYGRAB" on your wang so the doc knows you're onto his little game.

Maybe I don't read so well, but I thought he said he was getting local anesthetic and didn't want to get knocked out so somebody else would have to come pick him up and learn about the procedure.

But still, the fact that it was even suggested is insane. They can just freeze them off right there in the office. Back in college, my good friend Gomer had this happen to him and it took all of five very uncomfortable minutes to take care of. From what I hear.

Once removed, I'm sending it out as part of my secret santa gift this year. I mean, if my buddy lets me take it after HE's done with the surgery.

Can you ask for a tattoo to match SLB's while they are down there?

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Waiting on input from partners, though I think one is eating poutine and the other is smuggling cats across borders.

Will pick within the hour regardless.

My partner stopped asking me for input because I went camping for a couple of days.

 

[Abraham]

They're putting you under general anesthesia for a friggin genital wart?!?!?

You need to write "BULL#### MONEYGRAB" on your wang so the doc knows you're onto his little game.

Maybe I don't read so well, but I thought he said he was getting local anesthetic and didn't want to get knocked out so somebody else would have to come pick him up and learn about the procedure.

But still, the fact that it was even suggested is insane. They can just freeze them off right there in the office. Back in college, my good friend Gomer had this happen to him and it took all of five very uncomfortable minutes to take care of. From what I hear.

Once removed, I'm sending it out as part of my secret santa gift this year. I mean, if my buddy lets me take it after HE's done with the surgery.

I don't understand. Why don't you hit the singles bar and find someone else to give it to? Solves the problem plus you get laid.

 

[Drifter]

They're putting you under general anesthesia for a friggin genital wart?!?!?

You need to write "BULL#### MONEYGRAB" on your wang so the doc knows you're onto his little game.

Maybe I don't read so well, but I thought he said he was getting local anesthetic and didn't want to get knocked out so somebody else would have to come pick him up and learn about the procedure.

But still, the fact that it was even suggested is insane. They can just freeze them off right there in the office. Back in college, my good friend Gomer had this happen to him and it took all of five very uncomfortable minutes to take care of. From what I hear.

Once removed, I'm sending it out as part of my secret santa gift this year. I mean, if my buddy lets me take it after HE's done with the surgery.

I don't understand. Why don't you hit the singles bar and find someone else to give it to? Solves the problem plus you get laid.

Kind of like The Ring

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Drifter> I locked up our kickers last round; hope you approve!

 

[Homer J Simpson]

They're putting you under general anesthesia for a friggin genital wart?!?!?

You need to write "BULL#### MONEYGRAB" on your wang so the doc knows you're onto his little game.

Maybe I don't read so well, but I thought he said he was getting local anesthetic and didn't want to get knocked out so somebody else would have to come pick him up and learn about the procedure.

But still, the fact that it was even suggested is insane. They can just freeze them off right there in the office. Back in college, my good friend Gomer had this happen to him and it took all of five very uncomfortable minutes to take care of. From what I hear.

Once removed, I'm sending it out as part of my secret santa gift this year. I mean, if my buddy lets me take it after HE's done with the surgery.

I don't understand. Why don't you hit the singles bar and find someone else to give it to? Solves the problem plus you get laid.

Kind of like The Ring

 

[cosjobs]

Connor Barth PK TB

 

[Good Posting Judge]

More like Connor Barf, right?

 

[walnutz]

Kind of funny story here. Took the family to Disney in Orlando this past week. We drove there and back. Craziness, I know. Anyway, we were on I24 in Tennessee yesterday. Just north of Chatanooga we see smoke in the other lane. Then we are passing by and see the whole car get engulfed in flames. Everyone was out of the car. Just one passenger.

Then we are about 45 minutes south of Nashville. There is a red Ford Mustang that is swerving off to the side of the road. Then it swerves back on. Then he rides right up on a cars tail and then hits the brakes. I tried to get out of its way. Did the same thing to me a few times. I finally slowed down and let the guy pass me thinking i will just keep my distance. The car keeps doing the same thing. So, I finally call 911 to report it. While I am on the phone with 911 I see the guy swerve lanes and run into the back of a big rig - just the truck no trailer. Bumper comes flying off, cars are moving everywhere. I am on the phone with 911 talking to the operator and I tell her "he just wrecked, he just wrecked, he just wrecked."

Scared the hell out of me.

I guess it is not all that funny just had to share as it was the craziest car related thing i have ever seen. Guess we should have flown.

 

[krista4]

More like Connor Barf, right?

As a Julio fan, you will want to see his latest post on my status.

IB, ol' partner ol' pal, I like the first one you listed for our next pick.

I'm gonna go die now.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

More like Connor Barf, right?

IB, ol' partner ol' pal, I like the first one you listed for our next pick.

Aye, aye.

 

[strykerpks]

Connor Barth PK TB

 

[Drifter]

Drifter> I locked up our kickers last round; hope you approve!

Was Adrian Peterson not available?

 

[Abraham]

The world just does not make sense to me at times. This is one of those times. How can this possibly happen?

And yet there have been Other threads in this forum in which the power of government and Child Protection Services is complained about as overbearing and it is demanded that their power to interfere in private family matters is lessened.You can't have it both ways. If you weaken the power of the state to intercede in these situations, you run the risk of more stories like this one.

you have the worst timing of anyone on these boards. shame on you for trying to turn this thread into a political debate.

This is from the Kid Being Abused thread and Aaron is spot on. However, I find it sad that Tim is a real person and this is how he acts because "Mr. Wrong-Timing" in the FFA would be GOOOOOOLLLLLLDDDDEEEEENNNNN shtick.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Kind of funny story here. Took the family to Disney in Orlando this past week. We drove there and back. Craziness, I know. Anyway, we were on I24 in Tennessee yesterday. Just north of Chatanooga we see smoke in the other lane. Then we are passing by and see the whole car get engulfed in flames. Everyone was out of the car. Just one passenger.

Then we are about 45 minutes south of Nashville. There is a red Ford Mustang that is swerving off to the side of the road. Then it swerves back on. Then he rides right up on a cars tail and then hits the brakes. I tried to get out of its way. Did the same thing to me a few times. I finally slowed down and let the guy pass me thinking i will just keep my distance. The car keeps doing the same thing. So, I finally call 911 to report it. While I am on the phone with 911 I see the guy swerve lanes and run into the back of a big rig - just the truck no trailer. Bumper comes flying off, cars are moving everywhere. I am on the phone with 911 talking to the operator and I tell her "he just wrecked, he just wrecked, he just wrecked."

Scared the hell out of me.

I guess it is not all that funny just had to share as it was the craziest car related thing i have ever seen. Guess we should have flown.

 

[strykerpks]

The world just does not make sense to me at times. This is one of those times. How can this possibly happen?

And yet there have been Other threads in this forum in which the power of government and Child Protection Services is complained about as overbearing and it is demanded that their power to interfere in private family matters is lessened.You can't have it both ways. If you weaken the power of the state to intercede in these situations, you run the risk of more stories like this one.

you have the worst timing of anyone on these boards. shame on you for trying to turn this thread into a political debate.

This is from the Kid Being Abused thread and Aaron is spot on. However, I find it sad that Tim is a real person and this is how he acts because "Mr. Wrong-Timing" in the FFA would be GOOOOOOLLLLLLDDDDEEEEENNNNN shtick.

I think I tried to register "Wrong Thread Guy" around 5 years ago

 

[St. Louis Bob]

20.13 Matt Cassel doctrine QB Min

 

[General Malaise]

Poor Cosjobs.....

Connor Barth PK TB

Uhhhh.....

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers gave Connor Barth a big four-year contract last offseason so they wouldn't have to worry about their kicker position for a while. That changed Friday.

The Bucs announced Wednesday that Barth will miss the entire 2013 season after he tore his Achilles tendon at a charity basketball game. The Bucs signed former Augusta AIDS kicker Knowspotlight McScrotumwart to take over for Barth, who will be placed on the reserve/non-football injury list.

 

[Tiger Fan]

Poor Cosjobs.....

Connor Barth PK TB

Uhhhh.....

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers gave Connor Barth a big four-year contract last offseason so they wouldn't have to worry about their kicker position for a while. That changed Friday.

The Bucs announced Wednesday that Barth will miss the entire 2013 season after he tore his Achilles tendon at a charity basketball game. The Bucs signed former Augusta AIDS kicker Knowspotlight McScrotumwart to take over for Barth, who will be placed on the reserve/non-football injury list.

lol

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

Cosjobs could really use that 25th round pick now. Can he start one of his 6 defenses in the kicker spot?

 

[Tiger Fan]

Krista> you'll be happy to know that when we ask the twins "what does a camel say?" they respond with one of the following:

1. "Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike"

2. "Woo Woo!"

3. "Hump Daaaaaay!"

 

[Tiger Fan]

Cosjobs could really use that 25th round pick now. Can he start one of his 6 defenses in the kicker spot?

But Jimmy Graham was a bad pick

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Cosjobs could really use that 25th round pick now. Can he start one of his 6 defenses in the kicker spot?

But Jimmy Graham was a bad pick

Yes.

 

[Frostillicus]

RB/KR Darius Reynaud

On December 30, 2012 against the Jacksonville Jaguars, Reynaud became the 16th player in NFL history to return two punt returns for a touchdown.

RB Mike Tolbert

Tolbert received his nickname, "Yogi", from his sister because Yogi Bear was his favorite television cartoon as a child. He is also known as "Big Mike".[3] Mike is married to California native, Shianette Tolbert (née Fernandez). Mike and Shianette have one daughter, Mikeala Rae Tolbert, born on October 3, 2011 at UCSD Medical Center.

 

[-fish-]

By the way, I'm out for secret santa this year. Not taking a chance that I get the zooks' box o' peckerwarts.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

By the way, I'm out for secret santa this year. Not taking a chance that I get the zooks' box o' peckerwarts.

I didn't get all the Harry Potter hype either.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

if we ever find Keys Myaths in between Magic The Gathering tournaments, zooks can send his gift that way.

 

[Disco Stu]

Stu: I love you more than freeze pops, Arbys and the creator of Golden Girls. You didn't send me a box of crap....you sent me a box of awesome. I took pics, but I don't know how to post them from my phone. To summarize, I beer, porn (both DVD and magazine style) shirt, hat, candy, toys, a floppy disk, a Disco Stu starter kit and basketball cards and more that I'm forgetting. The only thing missing was some of your beard clippings.

You complete me Stu.

Unlisted item included in this box could have prevented your peenbumps.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Drifter> I locked up our kickers last round; hope you approve!

Was Adrian Peterson not available?

I think the evil/bad one still is.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Reynaud was at the top of my "short list" believe it or not...

 

[FDAS]

So, I'm sure some dogs growl, bark, bite, etc when a stranger knocks on the door. My dog just pissed on a comcast salesman.

 

[Gadzooks]

By the way, I'm out for secret santa this year. Not taking a chance that I get the zooks' box o' peckerwarts.

Yet you had no worries about the box o' Knuckles

 

[St. Louis Bob]

So, I'm sure some dogs growl, bark, bite, etc when a stranger knocks on the door. My dog just pissed on a comcast salesman.

Nice

vag head hummus takes n'arlins with 21.02

 

[flysack]

Kind of funny story here. Took the family to Disney in Orlando this past week. We drove there and back. Craziness, I know. Anyway, we were on I24 in Tennessee yesterday. Just north of Chatanooga we see smoke in the other lane. Then we are passing by and see the whole car get engulfed in flames. Everyone was out of the car. Just one passenger.

Then we are about 45 minutes south of Nashville. There is a red Ford Mustang that is swerving off to the side of the road. Then it swerves back on. Then he rides right up on a cars tail and then hits the brakes. I tried to get out of its way. Did the same thing to me a few times. I finally slowed down and let the guy pass me thinking i will just keep my distance. The car keeps doing the same thing. So, I finally call 911 to report it. While I am on the phone with 911 I see the guy swerve lanes and run into the back of a big rig - just the truck no trailer. Bumper comes flying off, cars are moving everywhere. I am on the phone with 911 talking to the operator and I tell her "he just wrecked, he just wrecked, he just wrecked."

Scared the hell out of me.

I guess it is not all that funny just had to share as it was the craziest car related thing i have ever seen. Guess we should have flown.

You should have pulled over and set the Mustang on fire too. Everyone loves serial crimes.

 

[-fish-]

By the way, I'm out for secret santa this year. Not taking a chance that I get the zooks' box o' peckerwarts.

Yet you had no worries about the box o' Knuckles

Well played.

 

[Disco Stu]

We don't have quite enough Eagle RBs yet, so...

20.10 Chris Polk

We are impressed with this young impressive. Maintains an excellent knee pad to shoulder width ratio. He's well over four feet tall and is familiar with several football terms used in the sport of football.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Krista> you'll be happy to know that when we ask the twins "what does a camel say?" they respond with one of the following:

1. "Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike"

2. "Woo Woo!"

3. "Hump Daaaaaay!"

That video of Yoko Ono singing "Someone Like You" kills my daughter every time.

 

[Ignoramus]

Happy Birthday, Bentley!

 

[kevzilla]

Drugstore Cowboys OTC

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Drugstore Cowboys OTC

Sorry. We take the New England Patriots' OL

 

[krista4]

Krista> you'll be happy to know that when we ask the twins "what does a camel say?" they respond with one of the following:

1. "Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike"

2. "Woo Woo!"

3. "Hump Daaaaaay!"

Yes!!! Smart kids. Never gets old for me.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

So, uh, how about we talk about warts? Not warts from touching a frog, but you know, maybe a wart near the bottom of your shaft. You know, hypothetcially of course. You see, I, um, know this guy who apparently has one, and he had an interesting visit with the doctor yesterday regarding this wart issue. Anyone here have any similar experiences they'd like to share?

Ask your buddy what the doctor said. I imagine that getting a second opinion from DR. Jim Tan will be...interesting.

So my buddy, lets call him, Dagzooks, had a regular check up last week with his doctor. After checkup was done, the doc asked me, I mean, Dagzooks, if there was any other issues or questions. Dagzooks mentioned this "thing" he had in private area and the Doc took a look. Dagzooks said he thought it was from a knick from the razor when he was shaving down there. The Doc looked at it and then used one of those eye tools to zoom in with light and then the Doc smiled and said, "nope, that's a wart, and it looks like there might be another really small one next to it" The doctor advised seeing a uralogist to look at it. So I, er, I mean Dagzooks went to the Uralogist yesterday.

Before the Uralogist came in, a nurse was came in to check blood pressure, pulse etc. The nurse looked familiar to Dagzooks (small town, and Dagzooks is very involved in a lot of civic groups, so he has probably bumped into about 70% of the townspeople over the years) Dagzooks wondered if the nurse knew who he was AND if the nurse knew why he was there. Nurse leaves and Uralogist comes in. He looks at the "area" and says it some very fancy word that Dagzooks didn't understand. Uralogist said its "basically a wart passed on from sexual activity and that's its very common" (I wonder if it is very common or if he just said that to make Dagzooks feel better?)

Uralogist then said there were a couple options to take care of it. One option would be to take care of it at home by applying some ointment to it every day for a couple weeks and covering it with a bandage and then coming back to see him again to check on it. Or he said they could remove right there with a little novocaine to ease the pain. Dagzooks wanted option number 2 so it would be done quicker. Uralogist said he could it right then and Dagzooks agreed. He left the room and then the nurse came back in. Dagzooks then got nervous because now this nurse who probably knows him, now definitely knows why he is here and what's going on. The nurse nervously asked questions about alergies to medications and then told him he could sit down if he wanted (apparently Dagzooks was pacing across the room with his arms folded and sweating profusely) Then she said the Uralogist would be back in to talk to him because the procedure probably won't happen today. Uralogist came back and said that he couldn't do it in his office due to new regulations and that it would have to be scheduled for the OR in the main hospital. Dagzooks agreed to do it with just novocaine because if he was completely knocked out for the "surgery" that would mean he need someone to pick him up and drive him home. Dagzooks would prefer no one knows about this.

So the nurse just called him an hour ago to tell him when the "surgery" is scheduled for and gave him directions about not eating the night before and if he showers that morning, only to use basic soap and no lotions at all. He asked where does he go exactly, and the nurse said to just go to the main receptionist and tell her his name and that he has an appointment for surgery. As luck would have it, the receptionist is the neighbor to Dagzook's mother. Also, Dagzooks has participated in several fund raising events for the hospital and knows a lot of the doctors and staff there. The awkwardness of this whole thing just keeps getting better and better.

Question: in the event that someone not involved in the surgery asks Dagzooks about why they saw him at the hospital, what is a nice basic non-embarrasing surgery he could tell people he was there for?

My friend Dagzooks appreciates your input and your tpw's. Dagzooks and I love you.

LOOK AT ME, I'M INVOLVED WITH A LOT OF CIVIC GROUPS!

 

[Ignoramus]

For he record, not a fan of the scribbledey font shtick.

 

[T Bell]

Gosh damn fellas, don't you ever LOOK at the tunnel before you enter it?

They kind of get skittish when you bust out the speculum.

That's why I use salad tongs. They think it's just part of the kink.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

RB/KR Darius Reynaud

On December 30, 2012 against the Jacksonville Jaguars, Reynaud became the 16th player in NFL history to return two punt returns for a touchdown.

RB Mike Tolbert

Tolbert received his nickname, "Yogi", from his sister because Yogi Bear was his favorite television cartoon as a child. He is also known as "Big Mike".[3] Mike is married to California native, Shianette Tolbert (née Fernandez). Mike and Shianette have one daughter, Mikeala Rae Tolbert, born on October 3, 2011 at UCSD Medical Center.

SODs right here.

 

[cosjobs]

Phillip Tanner RB DAL

 

[Tiger Fan]

RB/KR Darius Reynaud

On December 30, 2012 against the Jacksonville Jaguars, Reynaud became the 16th player in NFL history to return two punt returns for a touchdown.

RB Mike Tolbert

Tolbert received his nickname, "Yogi", from his sister because Yogi Bear was his favorite television cartoon as a child. He is also known as "Big Mike".[3] Mike is married to California native, Shianette Tolbert (née Fernandez). Mike and Shianette have one daughter, Mikeala Rae Tolbert, born on October 3, 2011 at UCSD Medical Center.

SODs right here.

I feel dumb for overlooking that we get credited for 2012 TDs and stupid nicknames