GM's thread about nothing (15 Viewers)

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Tanner has a webcam?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

How about we label links as NSFW if they are huh?

Tanner I'm looking at you especially.

You're right. Sorry.

 

[-fish-]

Currently amusing myself by implying to my girlfriend that she farts in her sleep, which has then resulted in severe paranoia, a five-minute long interrogation (filled with much lying by me), and embarrassed apologies.

My gf talks gibberish in her sleep.

Last night her daughter came in:

Kid: Mom, I can't sleep. I tried everything.

GF: That's not a pillow, but thanks for telling me.

Kid stands there quietly for a minute, realizes she's not getting any other answer, and goes back to bed.

GF then rolls over and says:

"All right, Mr. Pockets. You're too big for jail. It's time for you to get sprung."

I wonder if this is some weird euphemism and I'm getting laid:

Me: What are you talking about?

GF: You're too big to stay in jail.

Me: I don't understand what you're saying.

GF [exasperated sigh]: Look, if I robbed a bank and went to jail, and then escaped, I'd go hide where everything was the same, amongst John Q. Public.

This type of gibberish happens about twice a week.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

another good reason to avoid all Tanner links

 

[Osaurus]

at Mr. Pockets

 

[CGRdrJoe]

I just realized that I have the link to TF Tangent here at my work computer, needless to say I've spent the last 3 hours rereading threads over there, gb the MH3 thread

 

[krista4]

much iletericy

it's a...boy?

Nothing for these? Cracked me up.

First one is awesome.

at Mr. Pockets

Also, "amongst John Q. Public".

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

another good reason to avoid all Tanner links

It was just one slip-up.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Everybody loves freeze-pops (G rated, dogs)

K4 adds to her menagerie (G rated, cats)

My turn! (G rated, dogs)

Kids are stupid (G rated, stupid kids)

 

[-fish-]

GMTAN without Tannerlinks would be like the Super Bowl without commercials.

Yeah, they're not all going to be great, but it's better with them then without them.

 

[UniAlias]

Just shipped my SS gift.

Sorry for the delay.

 

[heckmanm]

Currently amusing myself by implying to my girlfriend that she farts in her sleep, which has then resulted in severe paranoia, a five-minute long interrogation (filled with much lying by me), and embarrassed apologies.

My gf talks gibberish in her sleep.

Last night her daughter came in:

Kid: Mom, I can't sleep. I tried everything.

GF: That's not a pillow, but thanks for telling me.

Kid stands there quietly for a minute, realizes she's not getting any other answer, and goes back to bed.

GF then rolls over and says:

"All right, Mr. Pockets. You're too big for jail. It's time for you to get sprung."

I wonder if this is some weird euphemism and I'm getting laid:

Me: What are you talking about?

GF: You're too big to stay in jail.

Me: I don't understand what you're saying.

GF [exasperated sigh]: Look, if I robbed a bank and went to jail, and then escaped, I'd go hide where everything was the same, amongst John Q. Public.

This type of gibberish happens about twice a week.

Reminds me of this from a few years back

 

[T Bell]

There's about an equal possibility that I get a raise or get laid off within the next two weeks. It's a little unnerving.

Sorry about that, pal. Thought you were doing well for them, it sounded like anyway. Is the firm as a whole struggling?

It's a bit of both. I was brought in as sort of a closer...the firm had a bunch of cases that were sort of stalled out and getting close enough to trial that they needed attention. They were within my expertise, so they gave me a couple of them and paired me up with the attorneys handling the other ones, so that I could push them forward and try them, if necessary.

I was very successful in my two, which put me in a good position for negotiating a better compensation package for 2014. It is supposed to be finalized later this week. Unfortunately, my efforts in the other cases just resulted in two of them settling this week, which means that the pressure is off and my role is less important.

If the owner looks at it based on my value to the firm and the fact that I'm the only one here that can make rain in the current environment, I'll be ok. If he just looks at it based on what he'd have to pay me in the meantime before I can fill the pipe then I'll get cut loose.

That sucks. Hope he's not that mercenary and take the longer view.

Maybe you can go to a part-time/contract status with him in the short term if the case load is down for now?

 

[Guster]

Guster your twitter is hacked.

thanks for the heads up

 

[Guster]

Guster your twitter is hacked.

So, his hacker wanted to follow me, not Guster? :(

I'm not following you on twitter? i guess i am now, eh

 

[T Bell]

Currently amusing myself by implying to my girlfriend that she farts in her sleep, which has then resulted in severe paranoia, a five-minute long interrogation (filled with much lying by me), and embarrassed apologies.

My gf talks gibberish in her sleep.

Last night her daughter came in:

Kid: Mom, I can't sleep. I tried everything.

GF: That's not a pillow, but thanks for telling me.

Kid stands there quietly for a minute, realizes she's not getting any other answer, and goes back to bed.

GF then rolls over and says:

"All right, Mr. Pockets. You're too big for jail. It's time for you to get sprung."

I wonder if this is some weird euphemism and I'm getting laid:

Me: What are you talking about?

GF: You're too big to stay in jail.

Me: I don't understand what you're saying.

GF [exasperated sigh]: Look, if I robbed a bank and went to jail, and then escaped, I'd go hide where everything was the same, amongst John Q. Public.

This type of gibberish happens about twice a week.

I've had some strange episodes like that too with mine when she's really tired and is right on the verge of REM sleep. She'll just make some strange stream of consciousness statements that are hilarious. Doesn't happen that often though.

 

[-fish-]

There's about an equal possibility that I get a raise or get laid off within the next two weeks. It's a little unnerving.

Sorry about that, pal. Thought you were doing well for them, it sounded like anyway. Is the firm as a whole struggling?

It's a bit of both. I was brought in as sort of a closer...the firm had a bunch of cases that were sort of stalled out and getting close enough to trial that they needed attention. They were within my expertise, so they gave me a couple of them and paired me up with the attorneys handling the other ones, so that I could push them forward and try them, if necessary.

I was very successful in my two, which put me in a good position for negotiating a better compensation package for 2014. It is supposed to be finalized later this week. Unfortunately, my efforts in the other cases just resulted in two of them settling this week, which means that the pressure is off and my role is less important.

If the owner looks at it based on my value to the firm and the fact that I'm the only one here that can make rain in the current environment, I'll be ok. If he just looks at it based on what he'd have to pay me in the meantime before I can fill the pipe then I'll get cut loose.

That sucks. Hope he's not that mercenary and take the longer view.

Maybe you can go to a part-time/contract status with him in the short term if the case load is down for now?

I could, but I'd more likely go back to the firm I rejected around this time last year. They approached me in October and said they were still interested. The problem with them is that I'm not convinced that they have a successful model. More likely, I'd be paid pretty well for 2 years but set up for failure, and back to solo again.

Unfortunately, with the fallout from my divorce and my parental obligations increasing, I need a stable gig.

 

[T Bell]

at Mr. Pockets

New fish nickname IMO.

 

[Guster]

TPW for BillTeef

can't wait to see what the tooth fairy brings for him

 

[T Bell]

There's about an equal possibility that I get a raise or get laid off within the next two weeks. It's a little unnerving.

Sorry about that, pal. Thought you were doing well for them, it sounded like anyway. Is the firm as a whole struggling?

It's a bit of both. I was brought in as sort of a closer...the firm had a bunch of cases that were sort of stalled out and getting close enough to trial that they needed attention. They were within my expertise, so they gave me a couple of them and paired me up with the attorneys handling the other ones, so that I could push them forward and try them, if necessary.

I was very successful in my two, which put me in a good position for negotiating a better compensation package for 2014. It is supposed to be finalized later this week. Unfortunately, my efforts in the other cases just resulted in two of them settling this week, which means that the pressure is off and my role is less important.

If the owner looks at it based on my value to the firm and the fact that I'm the only one here that can make rain in the current environment, I'll be ok. If he just looks at it based on what he'd have to pay me in the meantime before I can fill the pipe then I'll get cut loose.

That sucks. Hope he's not that mercenary and take the longer view.

Maybe you can go to a part-time/contract status with him in the short term if the case load is down for now?

I could, but I'd more likely go back to the firm I rejected around this time last year. They approached me in October and said they were still interested. The problem with them is that I'm not convinced that they have a successful model. More likely, I'd be paid pretty well for 2 years but set up for failure, and back to solo again.

Unfortunately, with the fallout from my divorce and my parental obligations increasing, I need a stable gig.

I heard that. I hope it works out for you, GB.

 

[BigJohn]

Guster your twitter is hacked.

So, his hacker wanted to follow me, not Guster? :(

I'm not following you on twitter?

Well, now you are.

 

[Guster]

at Mr. Pockets

New fish nickname IMO.

 

[Guster]

Guster your twitter is hacked.

So, his hacker wanted to follow me, not Guster? :(

I'm not following you on twitter?

Well, now you are.

 

[Guster]

I got my SS box from Tre last night... will try to post pics/details later. Ended up getting drunk last night instead

Very thoughtful package, even though half of it had things tied to Chicago Girl

 

[-fish-]

I have a twitter account but I don't use it, except to follow norm mcdonald and some sportswriters. It's been a while since I used it.

I checked in the other day and learned that I'm following about 300 people, most of them in arabic, and I've retweeted something like 180 times, mostly also stuff in arabic, but also some porn. Deleted the account and started over, since I've clearly been hacked by a bunch of horny terrorists.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Just shipped my SS gift.

Sorry for the delay.

Turns out if you wait too long your box may contain joke shtick about a GF the recipient is no longer with. #mixtape

 

[Abraham]

If sweet j doesn't check in soon about his Santa #### I'm going to do something I won't regret!

 

[Idiot Boxer]

If I drink a lot, I will sometimes mumble in my sleep. Mrs. Boxer thinks this an opportunity to delve further into my psyche. If I started talking about Mr. Pockets, she'd demand to know who he is, why I'm talking about him and if I found him sexually attractive (I do)

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I have a twitter account but I don't use it

I checked in the other day and learned that I'm following about 300 people, most of them in arabic, and I've retweeted something like 180 times, mostly also stuff in arabic, but also some porn.

I had something similar happen a while back. I just went with it.

#ФолловьМеняПокаДаю

 

[Idiot Boxer]

I got my SS box from Tre last night... will try to post pics/details later. Ended up getting drunk last night instead

Very thoughtful package, even though half of it had things tied to Chicago Girl

Just shipped my SS gift.

Sorry for the delay.

Turns out if you wait too long your box may contain joke shtick about a GF the recipient is no longer with. #mixtape

 

[Good Posting Judge]

Holy ####...TRE mailed Juan Mata to Guster.

 

[Abraham]

Holy ####...TRE mailed Juan Mata to Guster.

The Filipino house boy or the tequila magnate?

 

[GroveDiesel]

My wife says insane things when she is sick and has a fever.

A few years ago we booked a nice dinner and a hotel for Valentines. After dinner she wanted to give her very expensive leftovers to a homeless guy. I was cruel and wouldn't let her. She was very upset about this to the poijt of crying.

Later when we got back to the hotel it was clear she was getting sick and rather than some sexy time I tried to sleep as close to the edge of the bed away from her as possible in order to avoid any plague she had.

All through the night she kept insisting that we needed to do something to "save the children" (we had no kids at that point) and that she had to wake up an hour early "because she was wearing red". Good times.

Turned out she had some nasty strep and if she had given the homeless guy her leftovers it likely would have killed him.

And that's how I saved a homeless guy's life.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

GM, donation sent for playoff leeg.

Is it too late to exchange Andrew Luck and TY Hilton for AJ Green and Andy Dalton?

 

[Fuller]

I also really didn't need the committee chair to say "The thing about us all being young leaders, or almost young like bentley..."

You must have really made an impression at the skating party.

I was really waiting on your "who's hottest" rating on all the chicks in the group shot.

Gray sweater blonde

Blue skirt (skort?)

That picture isn't hi res enough to do the group justice. There were at least eight or nine offdee 7s there.Gray sweater was impressive.

Milker?

those bewbs look nice

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Holy ####...TRE mailed Juan Mata to Guster.

Just his ball.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

And that's how I saved a homeless guy's life.

We need more of them for sure.

 

[Fuller]

much iletericy

it's a...boy?

Nothing for these? Cracked me up.

doge one made me laugh

 

[General Malaise]

GM, donation sent for playoff leeg.

Is it too late to exchange Andrew Luck and TY Hilton for AJ Green and Andy Dalton?

Got it, thanks GB. Leaves Sofa, Cos and BFred on the GMTAN unpaid naughty list.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

Currently amusing myself by implying to my girlfriend that she farts in her sleep, which has then resulted in severe paranoia, a five-minute long interrogation (filled with much lying by me), and embarrassed apologies.

My gf talks gibberish in her sleep.

Last night her daughter came in:

Kid: Mom, I can't sleep. I tried everything.

GF: That's not a pillow, but thanks for telling me.

Kid stands there quietly for a minute, realizes she's not getting any other answer, and goes back to bed.

GF then rolls over and says:

"All right, Mr. Pockets. You're too big for jail. It's time for you to get sprung."

I wonder if this is some weird euphemism and I'm getting laid:

Me: What are you talking about?

GF: You're too big to stay in jail.

Me: I don't understand what you're saying.

GF [exasperated sigh]: Look, if I robbed a bank and went to jail, and then escaped, I'd go hide where everything was the same, amongst John Q. Public.

This type of gibberish happens about twice a week.

my mom did this to me one time when i was a kid. scared the #### out of me. she was yelling at me, eyes wide open, sitting up in bed. asking where i had gotten the blue suit i was wearing. it was the middle of summer and in the middle of the day. i ran and got the neighbor it scared me so bad.

 

[T Bell]

Currently amusing myself by implying to my girlfriend that she farts in her sleep, which has then resulted in severe paranoia, a five-minute long interrogation (filled with much lying by me), and embarrassed apologies.

My gf talks gibberish in her sleep.

Last night her daughter came in:

Kid: Mom, I can't sleep. I tried everything.

GF: That's not a pillow, but thanks for telling me.

Kid stands there quietly for a minute, realizes she's not getting any other answer, and goes back to bed.

GF then rolls over and says:

"All right, Mr. Pockets. You're too big for jail. It's time for you to get sprung."

I wonder if this is some weird euphemism and I'm getting laid:

Me: What are you talking about?

GF: You're too big to stay in jail.

Me: I don't understand what you're saying.

GF [exasperated sigh]: Look, if I robbed a bank and went to jail, and then escaped, I'd go hide where everything was the same, amongst John Q. Public.

This type of gibberish happens about twice a week.

my mom did this to me one time when i was a kid. scared the #### out of me. she was yelling at me, eyes wide open, sitting up in bed. asking where i had gotten the blue suit i was wearing. it was the middle of summer and in the middle of the day. i ran and got the neighbor it scared me so bad.

Does she still live in your fruit cellar, Norman?

 

[Guster]

SLB > do you carry white gator board? I'm looking for some 4' x 8' foam core boards that are at least 1/2" thick for some new work we are doing.

 

[General Malaise]

SLB > do you carry white gator board? I'm looking for some 4' x 8' foam core boards that are at least 1/2" thick for some new work we are doing.

You guys adding Pictionary to your Wine Tasting Meditation Nap hours?

 

[Abraham]

SLB > do you carry white gator board? I'm looking for some 4' x 8' foam core boards that are at least 1/2" thick for some new work we are doing.

You guys adding Pictionary to your Wine Tasting Meditation Nap hours?

I was actually thinking he needed this to make "beds" for the 'worry dolls' they all made from pipe cleaners and yarn at the last Second Solstice party.

 

[krista4]

ANNOUNCE:

My hat arrived today.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

ANNOUNCE:

My hat arrived today.

Does it smell of Clos du Bois?

 

[krista4]

ANNOUNCE:

My hat arrived today.

Does it smell of Clos du Bois?

I have to wring it out before wearing it.

 

[T Bell]

I love #### like this

 

[krista4]

I once had a bottle of Ambien to deal with my sleeping issues, but they didn't work for me so Mr. krista took them instead. He would have long gibberish episodes that were sometimes amusing but sometimes scary. One I remember vividly ended with his being very upset as some sunlight hit the wall of the bedroom and his yelling, "Who's going to empty the pissbucket?!?!" He kept asking that until I finally told him I would.

 

[Fuller]

there have been many nights that I wished I had a pissbucket