GM's thread about nothing (61 Viewers)

[Annyong]

I like YSR even though she gave me the only alias she has that everyone thinks is a small Asian boy.

You're too dumb to be a small asian boy

I don't like that his comment got so many likes.

 

[Captain Quinoa]

I like YSR even though she gave me the only alias she has that everyone thinks is a small Asian boy.

You're too dumb to be a small asian boy

I don't like that his comment got so many likes.

like added

 

[St. Louis Bob]

The real travesty is that the parents are watching the boys Saturday night and we have plans to go out with her work friends. That of course means I can get Mrs. SLB all liqueured up so she can get wild and not worry about the boys waking up and asking why there is a donkey and four midgets dressed up like the members of KISS in our bedroom.

SLB, I'm shocked. Why there are a donkey and four midgets dressed up like the members of KISS in our bedroom

I've admitted many times that my grammar and writing can be pretty atrocious. Go suck are ****.

Well, I thought it was funny.

Just giving you hell, GB.

 

[DA RAIDERS]

I like YSR even though she gave me the only alias she has that everyone thinks is a small Asian boy.

You're too dumb to be a small asian boy

I don't like that his comment got so many likes.

like added

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

The real travesty is that the parents are watching the boys Saturday night and we have plans to go out with her work friends. That of course means I can get Mrs. SLB all liqueured up so she can get wild and not worry about the boys waking up and asking why there is a donkey and four midgets dressed up like the members of KISS in our bedroom.

SLB, I'm shocked. Why there are a donkey and four midgets dressed up like the members of KISS in our bedroom

You sure about this?

 

[Henry Ford]

The real travesty is that the parents are watching the boys Saturday night and we have plans to go out with her work friends. That of course means I can get Mrs. SLB all liqueured up so she can get wild and not worry about the boys waking up and asking why there is a donkey and four midgets dressed up like the members of KISS in our bedroom.

SLB, I'm shocked. Why there are a donkey and four midgets dressed up like the members of KISS in our bedroom

You sure about this?

Well, really it should probably be "Why a donkey and four midgets dressed up like the members of KISS are in our bedroom" but I was just trying to be mildly amusing.

You're the teacher. I defer to you. Unless you disagree.

 

[T Bell]

I was going to post something here about Jay Mohr not knowing that JJ Hardy no longer plays for the Brewers even though he hosts a sports radio talk show, but who really cares. That's not going to get me any closer to the vaunted 1000 likes mark.

Jay Mohr gets a lot of very basic sports stuff wrong. I like his show though.

can't stand him

Annoying as hell. If it weren't for his Christopher Walken impression and heavy airtime as a guest on Jim Rome's show (and don't get me started on Rome either), nobody would know his name.

 

[Captain Quinoa]

I was going to post something here about Jay Mohr not knowing that JJ Hardy no longer plays for the Brewers even though he hosts a sports radio talk show, but who really cares. That's not going to get me any closer to the vaunted 1000 likes mark.

Jay Mohr gets a lot of very basic sports stuff wrong. I like his show though.

can't stand him

Annoying as hell. If it weren't for his Christopher Walken impression and heavy airtime as a guest on Jim Rome's show (and don't get me started on Rome either), nobody would know his name.

Epic

 

[YSR]

Every time I change my daughter's diaper and there's any trace of anything solid, I say, "Poopies, Rick. Poopies is the number one answer."

I wonder how this is going to affect her.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

I was going to post something here about Jay Mohr not knowing that JJ Hardy no longer plays for the Brewers even though he hosts a sports radio talk show, but who really cares. That's not going to get me any closer to the vaunted 1000 likes mark.

Jay Mohr gets a lot of very basic sports stuff wrong. I like his show though.

can't stand him

Annoying as hell. If it weren't for his Christopher Walken impression and heavy airtime as a guest on Jim Rome's show (and don't get me started on Rome either), nobody would know his name.

was pretty good in the movie Go.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Mohr >>> Rome

But that's not saying much.

 

[General Malaise]

Any Seattle folks care to check out any of the Zoo concerts this summer? Tickets go on sale to members on Wednesday. All around $30 but I think you need to pay zoo admission as well if you're not a member. I'm happy to pick up extras if anyone wants to go to any.

Shows I'm eyeing are:

August 6 - Taj Majal Trio/John Hiatt & The Combo

August 17 - Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue / Galactic

August 24 - Ziggy Marley

Yup, I'm with this guy. I've seen Trombone Shorty twice. Better than Pearl Jam.

Where does he stack up against Little River Band?

Now you're just being silly. Nobody can touch LRB.

 

[Annyong]

Every time I change my daughter's diaper and there's any trace of anything solid, I say, "Poopies, Rick. Poopies is the number one answer."

I wonder how this is going to affect her.

I'm not sure, but I changed my boy's diapers as "Robot Dad" for a long time and they probably think I'm mental

 

[General Malaise]

GM you have me on ignore?

No way, what's up? Want to show me your diseased peeeeeenis for an iBuddy diagnosis?

Yes?

Harrison.Stevens@hotmail.com

 

[General Malaise]

Almost hit a bird on the way to work, but I managed to slow down and save his life. That was for you, gbslb.

No lie, on my commute into work yesterday I had to stop at a green light to allow a deer to cross a somewhat busy street. His/her baby and or mate was now separated from the deer that crossed and he/she/it started freaking out. Every driver at that intersection was motionless, waiting for the other deer to cross the intersection to meet up with his pal. And then, not 15 seconds later, I see a family of geese about to cross into the road. There were like 8 fuzzy little tiny geese hopping off the curb. I slowed down to about 5MPH and made a wide move to the outside. In my rear view mirror, I could see ever car behind me to the exact same thing as the little geese kept threatening to waddle out into the road. I love the gentle souls of Portlanders. I even took a picture of the deer crossing, but since Imageshak went pay all of a sudden, I don't know how to link pictures here.

This tl;dr story was inspired by the ironical squirrel story of our beloved SLB.

 

[General Malaise]

Alright, what the bloody hell IS this thing? I see it everywhere on the innerwebs as an advertisement of something I'm supposed to eat but it sickens almost as much as the dreaded nipple with larvae coming out of it.

 

[Annyong]

Almost hit a bird on the way to work, but I managed to slow down and save his life. That was for you, gbslb.

No lie, on my commute into work yesterday I had to stop at a green light to allow a deer to cross a somewhat busy street. His/her baby and or mate was now separated from the deer that crossed and he/she/it started freaking out. Every driver at that intersection was motionless, waiting for the other deer to cross the intersection to meet up with his pal. And then, not 15 seconds later, I see a family of geese about to cross into the road. There were like 8 fuzzy little tiny geese hopping off the curb. I slowed down to about 5MPH and made a wide move to the outside. In my rear view mirror, I could see ever car behind me to the exact same thing as the little geese kept threatening to waddle out into the road. I love the gentle souls of Portlanders. I even took a picture of the deer crossing, but since Imageshak went pay all of a sudden, I don't know how to link pictures here.

This tl;dr story was inspired by the ironical squirrel story of our beloved SLB.

imgur.com

 

[mr roboto]

So the car that had 47 dents from the hail storm 2 weeks ago need $1,000 in repairs from hitting a pothole. Both right side wheel rims are ####ed up. Why did I hit a pothole? Because some ####### texting ####head coming the other way drifted across the double yellow line halfway into my lane. I swerved to the right and there was a 1.5 ft deep pothole in the shoulder. It felt like I broke my spine it bottomed out so hard.

The city that said pothole is in won't reimburse me because it wasn't on the roadway itself (the pothole is about 3 inches outside of the white line - it's not like it's several feet off the road). Of course the ###-hat that was in my lane didn't stop and probably didn't even notice that he caused me to veer off the road.

Unexpected costs since Feb 1, 2014

My daughter lost her glasses - $150.

Taxes due this year - $6,000 (had a relative die and had to do final returns)

New water pump and belt for other car - $850

My moms hospital stay (we need to help her out) - $2,000

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Ouch

 

[T Bell]

Damn, sorry roboto. That's a stiff set of charges over just a few months.

 

[General Malaise]

So the car that had 47 dents from the hail storm 2 weeks ago need $1,000 in repairs from hitting a pothole. Both right side wheel rims are ####ed up. Why did I hit a pothole? Because some ####### texting ####head coming the other way drifted across the double yellow line halfway into my lane. I swerved to the right and there was a 1.5 ft deep pothole in the shoulder. It felt like I broke my spine it bottomed out so hard.

The city that said pothole is in won't reimburse me because it wasn't on the roadway itself (the pothole is about 3 inches outside of the white line - it's not like it's several feet off the road). Of course the ###-hat that was in my lane didn't stop and probably didn't even notice that he caused me to veer off the road.

Unexpected costs since Feb 1, 2014

My daughter lost her glasses - $150.

Taxes due this year - $6,000 (had a relative die and had to do final returns)

New water pump and belt for other car - $850

My moms hospital stay (we need to help her out) - $2,000

Sorry, buddy. That really blows. At least your peeeeenis is disease free.

 

[Ignoramus]

I was going to post something here about Jay Mohr not knowing that JJ Hardy no longer plays for the Brewers even though he hosts a sports radio talk show, but who really cares. That's not going to get me any closer to the vaunted 1000 likes mark.

Jay Mohr gets a lot of very basic sports stuff wrong. I like his show though.

can't stand him

Annoying as hell. If it weren't for his Christopher Walken impression and heavy airtime as a guest on Jim Rome's show (and don't get me started on Rome either), nobody would know his name.

was pretty good in the movie Go.I used to listen to the Adam Carolla podcast and Mohr would be on there frequently. He's a funny dude.

 

[Sammy3469]

So the car that had 47 dents from the hail storm 2 weeks ago need $1,000 in repairs from hitting a pothole. Both right side wheel rims are ####ed up. Why did I hit a pothole? Because some ####### texting ####head coming the other way drifted across the double yellow line halfway into my lane. I swerved to the right and there was a 1.5 ft deep pothole in the shoulder. It felt like I broke my spine it bottomed out so hard.

The city that said pothole is in won't reimburse me because it wasn't on the roadway itself (the pothole is about 3 inches outside of the white line - it's not like it's several feet off the road). Of course the ###-hat that was in my lane didn't stop and probably didn't even notice that he caused me to veer off the road.

Unexpected costs since Feb 1, 2014

My daughter lost her glasses - $150.

Taxes due this year - $6,000 (had a relative die and had to do final returns)

New water pump and belt for other car - $850

My moms hospital stay (we need to help her out) - $2,000

Sorry, buddy. That really blows. At least your peeeeenis is disease free.

Maybe

 

[mr roboto]

So the car that had 47 dents from the hail storm 2 weeks ago need $1,000 in repairs from hitting a pothole. Both right side wheel rims are ####ed up. Why did I hit a pothole? Because some ####### texting ####head coming the other way drifted across the double yellow line halfway into my lane. I swerved to the right and there was a 1.5 ft deep pothole in the shoulder. It felt like I broke my spine it bottomed out so hard.

The city that said pothole is in won't reimburse me because it wasn't on the roadway itself (the pothole is about 3 inches outside of the white line - it's not like it's several feet off the road). Of course the ###-hat that was in my lane didn't stop and probably didn't even notice that he caused me to veer off the road.

Unexpected costs since Feb 1, 2014

My daughter lost her glasses - $150.

Taxes due this year - $6,000 (had a relative die and had to do final returns)

New water pump and belt for other car - $850

My moms hospital stay (we need to help her out) - $2,000

Sorry, buddy. That really blows. At least your peeeeenis is disease free.

Maybe

I do have a clean peeeeenis.

 

[Gadzooks]

So the car that had 47 dents from the hail storm 2 weeks ago need $1,000 in repairs from hitting a pothole. Both right side wheel rims are ####ed up. Why did I hit a pothole? Because some ####### texting ####head coming the other way drifted across the double yellow line halfway into my lane. I swerved to the right and there was a 1.5 ft deep pothole in the shoulder. It felt like I broke my spine it bottomed out so hard.

The city that said pothole is in won't reimburse me because it wasn't on the roadway itself (the pothole is about 3 inches outside of the white line - it's not like it's several feet off the road). Of course the ###-hat that was in my lane didn't stop and probably didn't even notice that he caused me to veer off the road.

Unexpected costs since Feb 1, 2014

My daughter lost her glasses - $150.

Taxes due this year - $6,000 (had a relative die and had to do final returns)

New water pump and belt for other car - $850

My moms hospital stay (we need to help her out) - $2,000

Sorry, buddy. That really blows. At least your peeeeenis is disease free.

Not a big deal if it isn't disease free. 80% of sexually active men including me, SLB and most likely Homer (hi Destiny) and Fish (hi Knuckles) live happy productive lives with our infected dingalings.

 

[T Bell]

So the car that had 47 dents from the hail storm 2 weeks ago need $1,000 in repairs from hitting a pothole. Both right side wheel rims are ####ed up. Why did I hit a pothole? Because some ####### texting ####head coming the other way drifted across the double yellow line halfway into my lane. I swerved to the right and there was a 1.5 ft deep pothole in the shoulder. It felt like I broke my spine it bottomed out so hard.

The city that said pothole is in won't reimburse me because it wasn't on the roadway itself (the pothole is about 3 inches outside of the white line - it's not like it's several feet off the road). Of course the ###-hat that was in my lane didn't stop and probably didn't even notice that he caused me to veer off the road.

Unexpected costs since Feb 1, 2014

My daughter lost her glasses - $150.

Taxes due this year - $6,000 (had a relative die and had to do final returns)

New water pump and belt for other car - $850

My moms hospital stay (we need to help her out) - $2,000

Sorry, buddy. That really blows. At least your peeeeenis is disease free.

Not a big deal if it isn't disease free. 80% of sexually active men including me, SLB and most likely Homer (hi Destiny) and Fish (hi Knuckles) live happy productive lives with our infected dingalings.

"A man's face peen is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction." - Oscar Wilde

 

[BobbyLayne]

test

 

[BobbyLayne]

• 0 warning points

Christ I must be boring.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

So the car that had 47 dents from the hail storm 2 weeks ago need $1,000 in repairs from hitting a pothole. Both right side wheel rims are ####ed up. Why did I hit a pothole? Because some ####### texting ####head coming the other way drifted across the double yellow line halfway into my lane. I swerved to the right and there was a 1.5 ft deep pothole in the shoulder. It felt like I broke my spine it bottomed out so hard.

The city that said pothole is in won't reimburse me because it wasn't on the roadway itself (the pothole is about 3 inches outside of the white line - it's not like it's several feet off the road). Of course the ###-hat that was in my lane didn't stop and probably didn't even notice that he caused me to veer off the road.

Unexpected costs since Feb 1, 2014

My daughter lost her glasses - $150.

Taxes due this year - $6,000 (had a relative die and had to do final returns)

New water pump and belt for other car - $850

My moms hospital stay (we need to help her out) - $2,000

Sorry, buddy. That really blows. At least your peeeeenis is disease free.

Not a big deal if it isn't disease free. 80% of sexually active men including me, SLB and most likely Homer (hi Destiny) and Fish (hi Knuckles) live happy productive lives with our infected dingalings.

This isn't confirmed yet!!!!

 

[St. Louis Bob]

"I guess this makes me a bad father."

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Almost hit a bird on the way to work, but I managed to slow down and save his life. That was for you, gbslb.

No lie, on my commute into work yesterday I had to stop at a green light to allow a deer to cross a somewhat busy street. His/her baby and or mate was now separated from the deer that crossed and he/she/it started freaking out. Every driver at that intersection was motionless, waiting for the other deer to cross the intersection to meet up with his pal. And then, not 15 seconds later, I see a family of geese about to cross into the road. There were like 8 fuzzy little tiny geese hopping off the curb. I slowed down to about 5MPH and made a wide move to the outside. In my rear view mirror, I could see ever car behind me to the exact same thing as the little geese kept threatening to waddle out into the road. I love the gentle souls of Portlanders. I even took a picture of the deer crossing, but since Imageshak went pay all of a sudden, I don't know how to link pictures here.

This tl;dr story was inspired by the ironical squirrel story of our beloved SLB.

I'm proud of both of you both more than arever.

 

[belljr]

Screw them geese....dirty lots of them.

Everything else is God's creatures

 

[YSR]

[whine]

I'm ready for my husband to come home.

[/whine]

 

[El Floppo]

I got out of bed for the first time in six days today. Some wacky novovirus mutant offshoot ####ed me up good. Saw my doctor and he was like, "BL - your gut is your Achilles. Go home and sweat it out. There's no antibiotic, come back in two weeks and we'll do a full blood workup and stress test." Five minutes of poking around and listening to my stomach gurgle. "You're not dying. You don't have lupus. Get out of here and come back when you're not sick."

Board certified John Hopkins is basically a license to be god.

ah. so lunch is out for this week. at least sans hazmat suit.

 

[El Floppo]

I thought about nascent GMTAN a lot last week as I had a couple shart incidents. Ubfortunately I wasn't driving down the interstate or at work, so no good hook to those stories.

I'm lucky I've had the same doc for all 15 years I've lived here. (Aside to FDAS - 1st time seeing was chest pains, caused by stress, nothing serious. Hope the same for you.) Around day 3 he saw me without an appt. The next two days he returned my calls to answer stupid Qs.

Doc, it's day 4 of ####ting water. It turned black today.

"That's because your body isn't manufacturing any bile. Keep hydrating."

Thanks.



Doc, day 5 of vomiting. Stool turned albino.

"No bile. Feel free to call me tomorrow when it turns green."

It did. I didn't.

ah... so lunch it is.

 

[BobbyLayne]

I got out of bed for the first time in six days today. Some wacky novovirus mutant offshoot ####ed me up good. Saw my doctor and he was like, "BL - your gut is your Achilles. Go home and sweat it out. There's no antibiotic, come back in two weeks and we'll do a full blood workup and stress test." Five minutes of poking around and listening to my stomach gurgle. "You're not dying. You don't have lupus. Get out of here and come back when you're not sick."

Board certified John Hopkins is basically a license to be god.

ah. so lunch is out for this week. at least sans hazmat suit.

Thursday or Friday?

 

[Homer J Simpson]

So the car that had 47 dents from the hail storm 2 weeks ago need $1,000 in repairs from hitting a pothole. Both right side wheel rims are ####ed up. Why did I hit a pothole? Because some ####### texting ####head coming the other way drifted across the double yellow line halfway into my lane. I swerved to the right and there was a 1.5 ft deep pothole in the shoulder. It felt like I broke my spine it bottomed out so hard.

The city that said pothole is in won't reimburse me because it wasn't on the roadway itself (the pothole is about 3 inches outside of the white line - it's not like it's several feet off the road). Of course the ###-hat that was in my lane didn't stop and probably didn't even notice that he caused me to veer off the road.

Unexpected costs since Feb 1, 2014

My daughter lost her glasses - $150.

Taxes due this year - $6,000 (had a relative die and had to do final returns)

New water pump and belt for other car - $850

My moms hospital stay (we need to help her out) - $2,000

Sorry, buddy. That really blows. At least your peeeeenis is disease free.

Not a big deal if it isn't disease free. 80% of sexually active men including me, SLB and most likely Homer (hi Destiny) and Fish (hi Knuckles) live happy productive lives with our infected dingalings.

I wouldn't say productive, GB.

Mornin' GMTAN!

 

[BobbyLayne]

I thought about nascent GMTAN a lot last week as I had a couple shart incidents. Ubfortunately I wasn't driving down the interstate or at work, so no good hook to those stories.

I'm lucky I've had the same doc for all 15 years I've lived here. (Aside to FDAS - 1st time seeing was chest pains, caused by stress, nothing serious. Hope the same for you.) Around day 3 he saw me without an appt. The next two days he returned my calls to answer stupid Qs.

Doc, it's day 4 of ####ting water. It turned black today.

"That's because your body isn't manufacturing any bile. Keep hydrating."

Thanks.



Doc, day 5 of vomiting. Stool turned albino.

"No bile. Feel free to call me tomorrow when it turns green."

It did. I didn't.

ah... so lunch it is.

Not exactly pushing myself but I've had a couple solid days. Hopefully good going forward.

6-7 years ago I had a couple mysterious GI ailments, for which they never found a definitive cause. Saw 11 different specialists (actually true) and several outpatient procedures. At one point they sent me to an infectious disease specialist. Never did figure it out, but in the midst of it I contract a vestibular infection that left scar tissue in inner ear. Wicked case of vertigo; couldn't ride the subways out of fear I'd fall down the stairs or off the platform. Six months of rehab to relearn balance functions.

So, yeah, this was nothing.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

"I guess this makes me a bad father."

I remember when my cousin drove us all home from a football Cardinal game at the age of 13 because our dads/uncles/their GB's were too drunk. Of course that was very different time. For example there wasn't a highway involved and he wasn't stupid enough to get caught.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

So the car that had 47 dents from the hail storm 2 weeks ago need $1,000 in repairs from hitting a pothole. Both right side wheel rims are ####ed up. Why did I hit a pothole? Because some ####### texting ####head coming the other way drifted across the double yellow line halfway into my lane. I swerved to the right and there was a 1.5 ft deep pothole in the shoulder. It felt like I broke my spine it bottomed out so hard.

The city that said pothole is in won't reimburse me because it wasn't on the roadway itself (the pothole is about 3 inches outside of the white line - it's not like it's several feet off the road). Of course the ###-hat that was in my lane didn't stop and probably didn't even notice that he caused me to veer off the road.

Unexpected costs since Feb 1, 2014

My daughter lost her glasses - $150.

Taxes due this year - $6,000 (had a relative die and had to do final returns)

New water pump and belt for other car - $850

My moms hospital stay (we need to help her out) - $2,000

Sorry, buddy. That really blows. At least your peeeeenis is disease free.

Maybe

I do have a clean peeeeenis.

Just got a text from Mrs. SLB that she just left the dentist with the boys. Dylan has 4 cavities. I caught the little ########## lying to me about brushing his teeth a couple of weeks ago. Speaking of dicks..

Sorry to hear about your bad luck, GB. I hope you get a fortune in that inheritance.

 

[Uruk-Hai]

Damn, sorry roboto. That's a stiff set of charges over just a few months.

this........sorry, my friend. I can help in a tiny way if need be.

 

[mr roboto]

Thanks UH. We are fine financially, but we can't seem to get ahead at all. But we are far more blessed than cursed. It's just been an expensive 2 months.

 

[T Bell]

[whine]

I'm ready for my husband to come home.

[/whine]

They're so adorable at this age.

 

[YSR]

[whine]

I'm ready for my husband to come home.

[/whine]

They're so adorable at this age.

Yes, she's been a little tougher since she learned to crawl last week, but honestly, this is about him. It took me 2.5 weeks, but I miss the guy. :(

 

[T Bell]

[whine]

I'm ready for my husband to come home.

[/whine]

They're so adorable at this age.

Yes, she's been a little tougher since she learned to crawl last week, but honestly, this is about him. It took me 2.5 weeks, but I miss the guy. :(

I was joking of course, but yeah, I couldn't do what he does and be away for that long. If I was single, maybe, but not married and/or with a kid.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

These HBOgo commercials are absolutely fantastic.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

80% of sexually active men live happy productive lives with our infected dingalings.

I've heard that.

 

[mr. furley]

wow, Milwaukee cornhole crushing Seattle cornhole.

Has anyone extended a personal invite to Furley yet?

heard he died anyways

 

[Tiger Fan]

October pearl jam cornhole at the Austin Health Retreat? who's with me?

Red? Zilla? TU? Scorchy?

 

[Binky The Doormat]

I was going to post something here about Jay Mohr not knowing that JJ Hardy no longer plays for the Brewers even though he hosts a sports radio talk show, but who really cares. That's not going to get me any closer to the vaunted 1000 likes mark.

Jay Mohr gets a lot of very basic sports stuff wrong. I like his show though.

can't stand him

Annoying as hell. If it weren't for his Christopher Walken impression and heavy airtime as a guest on Jim Rome's show (and don't get me started on Rome either), nobody would know his name.

was pretty good in the movie Go.I used to listen to the Adam Carolla podcast and Mohr would be on there frequently. He's a funny dude.Jay Mohr is a funny guy. No comedian hits it out of the park all the time but I have always liked the guy. Great Walken, Tracy Morgan, Keitel and other non-typical impersonations.