What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

GM's thread about nothing (18 Viewers)

I was inspired by that thread yesterday about "hitting on bartenders" and tonight I'm meeting up with some buddies to go to a specific restaurant/bar that I chose entirely due to the hot the bartender that works there. She's a couple years younger than me and I've kind of known her since high school though mostly due to mutual friends we have. She actually went to a private school in another town but she always hung around with her "hometown" friends. Anyways, I was at this bar about a month ago with work colleagues and we engaged in some passionate love-making in the bathroom...... ok, that's a complete lie but it felt nice to type that. We flirted a little but I figured she was just looking for a tip (by tip I mean a monetary gratuity, not the tip of my Thunder-Rod) However, when of my co-workers was making fun of me and found out that the bartender/vixen had known me since high school he began asking her questions about me. I interrupted to say that we had alot of mutual friends but that she and I had never hung out or really ever spoke to each other unless it was in a group of friends. My co-worker joked about how she probably wouldn't have remembered my ugly face anyways, and she spoke up about how she remembered me being on the basketball team and how I was a great point guard. I was very intrigued that she remembered that, but I also kept remembering that she works for tips (monetary ones) I was too drunk to pursue anything (I ended up losing my left shoe that night which is a mystery that remains unsolved) but I've thought about going back to see her again but haven't had time. But tonight it is on!!!!!She's blonde and has boobs that are bigger than the man-boobs that all the fat guys in the GMTAN have. I plan on drinking heavily tonight because, well, I just plan to do that. So chances are I won't be making any significant advances with the bartender/vixen, but I will probably be drunk and trying to get phone pics of her "assets" and probably get some pics of the toilet and other odd things as well. So for those of you who's cell numbers I possess, be prepared. As of right now, I don't plan on send any pics of my junk, sorry Stryker.
GLGB
 
this weekend was supposed to be camping with "the guys" but my wife and her sister threw a hissy and demanded the weekend to get away with each other (and away from 4 kids each) so i said "sure you go right ahead". We started planning 2 months ago for the camping, this hissy thing happend a month ago. I aksed her this week what her plan was and turns out they haven't even made a hotel reservation or anything and they are only going to go Saturday then return sunday mid day. So its a free weekend away from teh kids, money isn't an issue and all they can do is not make plans then only go away for one night. Reptarded, imo. Next time they complaing about never getting away i'm going to tell them to #### off. And i'll be sure to never let them know when camping trips are scheduled in the future.

As for tomorrow, i'm going to hang out by the pool with the kids, crank the music so loud the neighbors call the cops and let the kids eat sugar and drink hersheys syrup all day.
Where was the camping trip going to be? You got any good places for family camping? I want to try something new next weekend, but don't want to drive very far and do not want to beat back the masses. I've found some decent spots in the Coastals, but am always up for new ideas.
i used to live near here, its bout 2 hrs from Portland and a nice campground (always allow fires) http://www.recreation.gov/camping/Rock_Creek_Or/r/campgroundDetails.do?contractCode=NRSO&parkId=71659call ahead to make sure they have spots open just in case. If its full, theres wilderness camping nearby since you're in the Mt Hood Nat'l forest and there's city-kid camping over at Pine Hollow Reservoir about 4 miles away. http://www.pinehollowlakeside.com/

benefit of these spots is its always dry. It sits in the rain shadow of Mt Hood so even when its overcast or drizzly here, as soon as you get over there its virtually guaranteed to be dry and sunny. Rock Creek is stocked, some lunkers in there but mostly 12 inchers, boats but no motors. Pine Hollow is also stocked, is a much bigger peice of water, has a marina you can rent boats with motors, and a restaurant/karaoke bar where you can witness hopefully one of the most precious memories of your lifetime. I have a memory i'll never forget from that place.

not far from either lake is the craphole town of Wamic population 108 with a general store that sells booze and chew and $5/gallon gas. There's also a mediocre restaurant nearby but has good breakfasts
If I want to take the family next weekend, do you think I have any shot at a spot? I hate to risk first come/first serve. Also, would you recommend taking 84 to 197 south or go 26?

ETA: I booked Fri/Sat at Rock Creek Campground online. Thanks for the tip. :thumbsup:

So, I will take 26 to 35. Do kids need fishing licenses in Oregon? I'm sure I do, but can I get one nearby for the weekend?

Any other tips with Rock Creek? Looking forward to worhiping Mt. Hood up close.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Louie CK is still the best stand up working right now. Who else is even close?
Bill Burr
Ron White
See this...
'St. Louis Bob said:
Nobody? The funny part isn't the real commercial, it's the rebuttal. Watch the whole thing you poor, stupid, bastards.
I was high so my perception may have been skewed, but I thought daniel tosh's stand up was some of the funniest stuff I've seen in a while.
 
I just want to give a big thanks to Sonny and Chaos Commish.
Glad you had a good time and we could help out a little. I do love LA.Everybody is very happy. :/randynewman:
How could anyone hate LA? OMG I love that town. Pocahontas, Marlon Brando and me = Senorita, Johnny Depp and me. Vedder!!!
Word. Was back home in la ciudad de las serfiñas this week. Epic. Grew up at 2nd and alameda, tu conoces?
Claro que si. Once a week I'm at the wholesale produce terminals off Olympic and Central. Yesterday even. I wandered towards Alameda on Olympic to visit the oracle de pechos for some wisdom and pizza -- a bonus for my best laid off migrant, Sam's Hofbrau. :P Also delivered Wednesday to 4th and Fig. The Bonaventure took 75 pounds off my hands for some banquet. Westin pays top dollar so it was worth it. All that is walking distance, no? I know very few who were born and raised basically downtown, DR. Cool. Vedder was excellent. Way better than the Uke album.
Krista are you happy now?
I'm not sure?
I get that alot.
:mellow: I haven't a foggy clue.I know this. Before I die, I need to party with this guy.
I have a RL GB recovering from heart bypass surgery in Portland. I'm considering taking the trip soon as he gets a little stronger. Caveat though, this could happen to you. :unsure:
that's a whole thread right in that post right there
You purged every thread I ever started. I will never start another. :hot:
 
'St. Louis Bob said:
Nobody? The funny part isn't the real commercial, it's the rebuttal. Watch the whole thing you poor, stupid, bastards.
"The only reason I even listen to her anymore is so I can make her look stupid when she asks 'are you even listening to me?'" "I constantly fantasize about a Phil Hartman murder-suicide scenario -- but one where I survive, and wind up dating 24 year olds for the rest of my life"

"At this point in the relationship, I'd rather make love to a roast beef sandwich"

:lmao:

 
'St. Louis Bob said:
Nobody? The funny part isn't the real commercial, it's the rebuttal. Watch the whole thing you poor, stupid, bastards.
"The only reason I even listen to her anymore is so I can make her look stupid when she asks 'are you even listening to me?'" "I constantly fantasize about a Phil Hartman murder-suicide scenario -- but one where I survive, and wind up dating 24 year olds for the rest of my life"

"At this point in the relationship, I'd rather make love to a roast beef sandwich"

:lmao:
:lmao: It was really hard laughing but not laughing too hard watching it with my wife.

 
ETA: I booked Fri/Sat at Rock Creek Campground online. Thanks for the tip. :thumbsup:So, I will take 26 to 35. Do kids need fishing licenses in Oregon? I'm sure I do, but can I get one nearby for the weekend? Any other tips with Rock Creek? Looking forward to worhiping Mt. Hood up close.
if you stop in "Damascus on the way to 26 there's a BiMart you can buy license thereThere's a BiMart and Fred Meyer in Sandy so you can get them there too. The campground has outhouses but bring toilet paper anyhow.bring your own wood for the fire. You can scavage around there if you have a chainsaw and a maul but kind of a pain.finally Bring a winch, a 4x4 vehicle, some type of high powered varmint gun and a lot of booze, you should be good to go.
 
I noticed a flub in War Games the other night.When David is playing Galaga he has 3 lives built up. Jennifer comes over to talk to him and then he gets killed. They show the screen again and it says game over even though he should have had 2 lives left.Major flaw.
DVRed this the other night. Watching it now, and of course all I can see is the flub in that scene.Do yourself a favor and do not pay attention to the scoreboard during the various court shots in Hoosiers.
 
'St. Louis Bob said:
Nobody? The funny part isn't the real commercial, it's the rebuttal. Watch the whole thing you poor, stupid, bastards.
"The only reason I even listen to her anymore is so I can make her look stupid when she asks 'are you even listening to me?'" "I constantly fantasize about a Phil Hartman murder-suicide scenario -- but one where I survive, and wind up dating 24 year olds for the rest of my life"

"At this point in the relationship, I'd rather make love to a roast beef sandwich"

:lmao:
not even close to funny. sorry
 
I really have to fight the urge to engage the legal pot discussions around here. The usually excellent knowledge and collective wisdom of the FFA is lacking on this topic, and it also has that lame political feel to it where no one will listen. So I have to just ####.

 
I have just logged on to the Internet for the first time today and, based on my FB feed, it appears as though I've missed the greatest feat in all of sports, ever. :mellow:

 
I have just logged on to the Internet for the first time today and, based on my FB feed, it appears as though I've missed the greatest feat in all of sports, ever. :mellow:
Yeah, I know. I was in a bar when it happened and the crowd was going nuts. As someone who watches more soccer than 97% of the people I know, and who has a barely passing interest in the game today, I was shocked. The place was also full of soccer 'experts' who didn't know their ### from a hole in the ground about the game or the rules explaining what was going on to anyone within earshot.
 
I have just logged on to the Internet for the first time today and, based on my FB feed, it appears as though I've missed the greatest feat in all of sports, ever. :mellow:
Yeah, I know. I was in a bar when it happened and the crowd was going nuts. As someone who watches more soccer than 97% of the people I know, and who has a barely passing interest in the game today, I was shocked. The place was also full of soccer 'experts' who didn't know their ### from a hole in the ground about the game or the rules explaining what was going on to anyone within earshot.
:goodposting:lol
 
The John Deere Classic must have way more prestige than I thought with the way Stricker and Stanley are puking all over themselves.

 
I have just logged on to the Internet for the first time today and, based on my FB feed, it appears as though I've missed the greatest feat in all of sports, ever. :mellow:
Yeah, I know. I was in a bar when it happened and the crowd was going nuts. As someone who watches more soccer than 97% of the people I know, and who has a barely passing interest in the game today, I was shocked. The place was also full of soccer 'experts' who didn't know their ### from a hole in the ground about the game or the rules explaining what was going on to anyone within earshot.
:confused:
 
Found the Karl Strauss brewery not too far from my hotel. Solid red ales and they have a pilsner with an aftertaste of weed or toast. I'm going with a weed finish.

 
I have just logged on to the Internet for the first time today and, based on my FB feed, it appears as though I've missed the greatest feat in all of sports, ever. :mellow:
Yeah, I know. I was in a bar when it happened and the crowd was going nuts. As someone who watches more soccer than 97% of the people I know, and who has a barely passing interest in the game today, I was shocked. The place was also full of soccer 'experts' who didn't know their ### from a hole in the ground about the game or the rules explaining what was going on to anyone within earshot.
:confused:
so what happened? did the US win something? im confused. is this a jeter deal? or is everyone surprised my cubs lost to the pirates again?
 
I have just logged on to the Internet for the first time today and, based on my FB feed, it appears as though I've missed the greatest feat in all of sports, ever. :mellow:
Yeah, I know. I was in a bar when it happened and the crowd was going nuts. As someone who watches more soccer than 97% of the people I know, and who has a barely passing interest in the game today, I was shocked. The place was also full of soccer 'experts' who didn't know their ### from a hole in the ground about the game or the rules explaining what was going on to anyone within earshot.
:confused:
so what happened? did the US win something? im confused. is this a jeter deal? or is everyone surprised my cubs lost to the pirates again?
US played Brazil in the women's World Cup quarterfinals. The US went up 1-0 very early, but gave up a penalty kick on a questionable call in the second half. Brazil scored to make it 1-1, and the US player got a red card (meaning that she had to leave and couldn't be replaced, making it 10v11 for the rest of the game). It went to OT, Brazil scored early on to make it 2-1. World Cup OT is not sudden death; they play 30 minutes. At the very, very, very end of the 30-minute OT, the US scored to tie it 2-2 and send it to penalty kicks. The US won the penalty kick shootout 5-3 and has advanced to the semifinals this Wednesday.
 
I have just logged on to the Internet for the first time today and, based on my FB feed, it appears as though I've missed the greatest feat in all of sports, ever. :mellow:
Yeah, I know. I was in a bar when it happened and the crowd was going nuts. As someone who watches more soccer than 97% of the people I know, and who has a barely passing interest in the game today, I was shocked. The place was also full of soccer 'experts' who didn't know their ### from a hole in the ground about the game or the rules explaining what was going on to anyone within earshot.
:confused:
so what happened? did the US win something? im confused. is this a jeter deal? or is everyone surprised my cubs lost to the pirates again?
US played Brazil in the women's World Cup quarterfinals. The US went up 1-0 very early, but gave up a penalty kick on a questionable call in the second half. Brazil scored to make it 1-1, and the US player got a red card (meaning that she had to leave and couldn't be replaced, making it 10v11 for the rest of the game). It went to OT, Brazil scored early on to make it 2-1. World Cup OT is not sudden death; they play 30 minutes. At the very, very, very end of the 30-minute OT, the US scored to tie it 2-2 and send it to penalty kicks. The US won the penalty kick shootout 5-3 and has advanced to the semifinals this Wednesday.
anyone take off their shirt?
 
Last edited by a moderator:
"Gadzooks at the Bar"

The GMTAN gathered together and strongly prayed

That tonight was the night, Zooks would get laid

He bought new clothes and manscaped in the tub

With a condom in his pocket, he entered the pub

From behind the bar the blonde vixen smiled in his direction

Within his new pants he sprang an erection

Her chest was perky and made his wang throb

To calm his emotion, he thought of a naked St. Louis Bob

She was very flirty, Zooks wasn't sure what to do

A little voice told him "be less like Woz, be more like Disco Stu"

She laughed at his jokes and stared in his eyes

She began to love him like GM loves pies

Now he was confident, maybe even a little cocky

He was excited like Homer watching school girls play field hockey

His charm was amazing, she hung on every word he said

He wondered if anyone was cooler: Truck, maybe Tanner, perhaps BostonFred

He continued to drink but feared he might puke

The guy next to him smelled like bacon, he thought it was Shuke

It was just about closing time and the vixen was under his spell

Zooks settled his tab and he tipped her quite well

He said it was still early, what should we do

She said home to my family and oh it was nice to see you

Somewhere Stryker, YSR, and Thorn were drinking without a doubt

But there was no joy in the GMTAN, for the mighty Gadzooks had struck out

 
ETA: I booked Fri/Sat at Rock Creek Campground online. Thanks for the tip. :thumbsup:So, I will take 26 to 35. Do kids need fishing licenses in Oregon? I'm sure I do, but can I get one nearby for the weekend? Any other tips with Rock Creek? Looking forward to worhiping Mt. Hood up close.
if you stop in "Damascus on the way to 26 there's a BiMart you can buy license thereThere's a BiMart and Fred Meyer in Sandy so you can get them there too. The campground has outhouses but bring toilet paper anyhow.bring your own wood for the fire. You can scavage around there if you have a chainsaw and a maul but kind of a pain.finally Bring a winch, a 4x4 vehicle, some type of high powered varmint gun and a lot of booze, you should be good to go.
what, a winch? What's that? I don't have a 4x4 or a gun or a booze...wait, I have that. It's okay to bring wood? There's all these stupid warnings that tell me now too. :unsure:I'll bring baby wipes. I have them everywhere.
 
Just got back from the drive in. Jesus, hillbilly heroin heaven.
Fixed :lol: Where? The drive in in Vegas is known as the place to buy drugs in that town. It's used by a dozen or more dealers with nobody parking in front of anyone's house. And hey, a movie.
Outside Cincinnati. We actually have two in the area. I didn't see any drug activity, but it was a showing of Cars 2.
Perfect place to sling drugs, IMO.
 
I have just logged on to the Internet for the first time today and, based on my FB feed, it appears as though I've missed the greatest feat in all of sports, ever. :mellow:
Yeah, I know. I was in a bar when it happened and the crowd was going nuts. As someone who watches more soccer than 97% of the people I know, and who has a barely passing interest in the game today, I was shocked. The place was also full of soccer 'experts' who didn't know their ### from a hole in the ground about the game or the rules explaining what was going on to anyone within earshot.
:confused:
so what happened? did the US win something? im confused. is this a jeter deal? or is everyone surprised my cubs lost to the pirates again?
US played Brazil in the women's World Cup quarterfinals. The US went up 1-0 very early, but gave up a penalty kick on a questionable call in the second half. Brazil scored to make it 1-1, and the US player got a red card (meaning that she had to leave and couldn't be replaced, making it 10v11 for the rest of the game). It went to OT, Brazil scored early on to make it 2-1. World Cup OT is not sudden death; they play 30 minutes. At the very, very, very end of the 30-minute OT, the US scored to tie it 2-2 and send it to penalty kicks. The US won the penalty kick shootout 5-3 and has advanced to the semifinals this Wednesday.
Aweseom recap, awesome game. I don't care how lame it makes me to say this, but that was one of most riveting games I've ever seen in my life. I didn't even have a bet on it. It was an incredible performance and created an opportunity to teach my sons a very valuable lesson: Never Give Up. Ever. Americans never quit. We never let up hope. We fight and fight and fight until the very end. I'm going to watch the game again. I loved it. Loved every second of it. USA!!!!
 
I am butass drunk and have about 40 pages to catch up on in this thread. Home from vacation tomorrow. Ugh. Think I'm gonna go throw up. Maybe not.

tdoss notes since 6/27 prease.

 
I have just logged on to the Internet for the first time today and, based on my FB feed, it appears as though I've missed the greatest feat in all of sports, ever. :mellow:
Yeah, I know. I was in a bar when it happened and the crowd was going nuts. As someone who watches more soccer than 97% of the people I know, and who has a barely passing interest in the game today, I was shocked. The place was also full of soccer 'experts' who didn't know their ### from a hole in the ground about the game or the rules explaining what was going on to anyone within earshot.
:confused:
so what happened? did the US win something? im confused. is this a jeter deal? or is everyone surprised my cubs lost to the pirates again?
US played Brazil in the women's World Cup quarterfinals. The US went up 1-0 very early, but gave up a penalty kick on a questionable call in the second half. Brazil scored to make it 1-1, and the US player got a red card (meaning that she had to leave and couldn't be replaced, making it 10v11 for the rest of the game). It went to OT, Brazil scored early on to make it 2-1. World Cup OT is not sudden death; they play 30 minutes. At the very, very, very end of the 30-minute OT, the US scored to tie it 2-2 and send it to penalty kicks. The US won the penalty kick shootout 5-3 and has advanced to the semifinals this Wednesday.
Aweseom recap, awesome game. I don't care how lame it makes me to say this, but that was one of most riveting games I've ever seen in my life. I didn't even have a bet on it. It was an incredible performance and created an opportunity to teach my sons a very valuable lesson: Never Give Up. Ever. Americans never quit. We never let up hope. We fight and fight and fight until the very end. I'm going to watch the game again. I loved it. Loved every second of it. USA!!!!
bull####
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Back
Top