kevzilla
Footballguy
Really hoping that is not a typo.
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GM's thread about nothing (31 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
desert rose
Footballguy
There's a bat hanging in my front entry way. Should I be concerned?
desert rose
Footballguy
I wish! It's a brown bat clinging to the wall about 11 feet up inside the porch. At first glance I thought, dang, how did that flat, bony brown fuzzy looking frog get up there? Then I thought, I should throw something up there to knock it down. Then I thought, cool, maybe I should encourage him to hang around, so to speak, to keep the insects at bay. But not if he's going to swoop down and get tangled in my hair or bite my neck.
videoguy505
Footballguy
Australian women love the American accent. I don't think they really care about dawn/don either. You should be good to go.
kevzilla
Footballguy
The bat won't mess with you if you don't mess with it. And you shouldn't, they carry some nasty stuff sometimes.I wish! It's a brown bat clinging to the wall about 11 feet up inside the porch. At first glance I thought, dang, how did that flat, bony brown fuzzy looking frog get up there? Then I thought, I should throw something up there to knock it down. Then I thought, cool, maybe I should encourage him to hang around, so to speak, to keep the insects at bay. But not if he's going to swoop down and get tangled in my hair or bite my neck.
charvik
Footballguy
Pretty sure he won't bite your neck, considering it's likely a Little Brown Bat (if it's around 2.5-3 inches long) and that's an insectivore.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_brown_bat
I'd be more worried if it's a baseball bat...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_brown_bat
I'd be more worried if it's a baseball bat...
desert rose
Footballguy
kevzilla
Footballguy
Disco Stu vs. The World:dingdingding:"I need to tell you something... I have a boyfriend."Disco Stu said:
"Oh, that's it?!"
kevzilla
Footballguy
If you get that close to a bat, anything that happens to you is your fault.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Show off.CGRdrJoe said:
General Malaise
Footballguy
I bought a fifth of Jack Daniels for the 2009 Super Bowl to make Judge Smails' "Legendary Chili". I've made it twice and used the same bottle both times. The chili is fantastic, though I think it could be improved upon over time. Plus, making it gives me an excuse to buy a bottle of "Bourbon" for the house, something I've made a habit to avoid since college, for reasons anybody who has ever met me would agree are valid and sound.
Anyhow, that same bottle has been sitting idle on a shelf of a butcher block I use as a make-shift liquor cabinet. It's kept company by a bottle of tequila give to my wife by a Hispanic male she worked with over 18 months ago at a siding company where she was temporarily employed. He was going through a divorce and she gave him all her old kitchen supplies + bedding + TV for $100. I didn't want her junk in my townhouse, he had nothing, and she got $100 to say goodbye to her bachelorette, single days. The tequila is tremendous, but doesn't get touched much. I've used it in marinades for flank steaks and we've had a shot or two along the way. Also in the neighborhood is a bottle of vodka, purchased in Dec. 2008 for Bloody Mary's for the morning after we had her sexy former roommate and daughter over for an extended sleepover. Though that last sentence sounds like something found in the pages of Homer's special magazines, it was nothing more than a long weekend where Bloody Mary's were a need.
That's it for my liquor cabinet. And tonight, as my boys sleep soundly and my day winds down, I find myself absent any beer. Boxed wine has been sitting port side of my fridge since June. My wife is in Seattle and I've just sat through the Bachelorette Finale with my mom, sister, sister's friends and BIL. It was.....
Well, I need a drink. And so I turn to Jack and a glass and some ice leftover from our camping trip. I pour the jack over the central Oregon rocks and splash in some water from the cold Brita pitcher. That first sip just left my lips and is coating my stomach in a warm glow. Man....
Good night good friends.
Anyhow, that same bottle has been sitting idle on a shelf of a butcher block I use as a make-shift liquor cabinet. It's kept company by a bottle of tequila give to my wife by a Hispanic male she worked with over 18 months ago at a siding company where she was temporarily employed. He was going through a divorce and she gave him all her old kitchen supplies + bedding + TV for $100. I didn't want her junk in my townhouse, he had nothing, and she got $100 to say goodbye to her bachelorette, single days. The tequila is tremendous, but doesn't get touched much. I've used it in marinades for flank steaks and we've had a shot or two along the way. Also in the neighborhood is a bottle of vodka, purchased in Dec. 2008 for Bloody Mary's for the morning after we had her sexy former roommate and daughter over for an extended sleepover. Though that last sentence sounds like something found in the pages of Homer's special magazines, it was nothing more than a long weekend where Bloody Mary's were a need.
That's it for my liquor cabinet. And tonight, as my boys sleep soundly and my day winds down, I find myself absent any beer. Boxed wine has been sitting port side of my fridge since June. My wife is in Seattle and I've just sat through the Bachelorette Finale with my mom, sister, sister's friends and BIL. It was.....
Well, I need a drink. And so I turn to Jack and a glass and some ice leftover from our camping trip. I pour the jack over the central Oregon rocks and splash in some water from the cold Brita pitcher. That first sip just left my lips and is coating my stomach in a warm glow. Man....
Good night good friends.
Last edited by a moderator:
General Malaise
Footballguy
PM JTC. For reals.
General Malaise
Footballguy
:dingdingding:"I need to tell you something... I have a boyfriend."Disco Stu said:
"Oh, that's it?!"
I mean....you can't make this stuff up. This gal was scared to death to admit to Stu that she had a boyfriend. She worried and stressed about it all day. When she delivered the goods, Stu did the moonwalk. Unreal. We gotta come up with a movie script from this thread.
General Malaise
Footballguy
Oh, and Charv too...forgot he lived there.
Chiwawa
Footballguy
Stu:dingdingding:"I need to tell you something... I have a boyfriend."Disco Stu said:
"Oh, that's it?!"
General Malaise
Footballguy
This has nothing to do with drugs or mules or drug mules or whores or mule whores or drug whores who love mules, but there was some alcohol at play.We left Friday afternoon for a weekend camping trip to Lake Billy Chinook, which is a popular destination for all things centered around boating on the lake. Yes, there are miles of hikes and beaches conducive to swimming, but all the cool people out there are boating or on jet skis or even canoes. Being that we are too poor to own a boat and too lazy to make reservations well in advance for a rental boat, we arrived to Billy Chinook with nothing more than hiking, camping, swimming and drinking on our agenda. Which was fine. We love the landscape and with nice high desert temps and relatively warm enough to swim in water, we were thrilled to get away from city life for a weekend.
But then I got this wild hair up my butt to inquire about a pedal boat - something we could, at the very least, fart around in for an afternoon on the lake. I learned that one was available for rent from noon-4pm on Saturday. That was all that was available to us. I took it. It was $30 and my kids might enjoy taking it around the shoreline.
So I dropped the boys off with my wife and sister and nephews and drove my BIL and myself over to the marina to pick up the pedal boat. As the crow flies, this was about a mile. Maybe more, maybe less. Plan was to pick up the boat, sign the waiver and pedal together to our eagerly awaiting families, hiding their discontent at the fact that we had nothing cooler than the lone pedal boat on the lake. We were guided over to the pedal boat and given some rudimentary instructions. We listened half heartedly and were visibly disgusted by the small, cozy contraption that awaited our arrival.
The ride over to our families sucked balls. The lake was not calm at all, larger boats were spitting wakes at us that took us off course and we ran out of beer very early on. Steering this thing required an advanced degree in math and no matter how hard we pedaled, it looked as if we were sitting still in the water. It took us 30 minutes to reach our destination. I looked like I had run a marathon. I felt like I had made love for over 10 minutes. My shirt was soaked and not because I fell in.
Anyhow, the next few hours were great as my wife and sister and kids took turns peddling around the cove where we were stationed. They LOVED the little boat, liked steering, liked exploring their little world. I refused to get near it and debated internally to call the Marina and pay them to pick it back up. Soon, my parents arrived from Portland with their two dogs and we had a nice little party going on at the banks of Lake Billy Chinook. But soon, it was time to take the pedal boat back to its home. By this time, my BIL and I had depleted our beer supply. Armed with sloppy judgment and eager to return our homo float, we set back out towards the marina with instructions to meet our family back at the beach.
We grabbed two more beers from my dad's fresh supply and began to pedal away at top speed. However, as we got around the bay, the wind hit us square in the face hard. Waves began to rush in over the top of the boat, tipping us further and further into a big problem. I was pedaling hard and trying to bail at the same time. It was no use as the water was coming in fast and our efforts to pedal were futile. We tried to pedal backwards, but it was no use. Finally, the boat went under and we were forced to swim it to shore. Upon entry, I was reminded as to why I never pay more than $15 for sunglasses as another pair vanished into the deep water. As we swam it closer to shore, jagged rocks jabbed our feet and a family of fishermen on the bank laughed at our every move.
We were able to walk the boat up, anchor it on the root of a tree and hike our way through the high desert terrain to the Marina. When the guy asked me how it was, I told him it ranked up there with getting divorced and getting car jacked as far as worst experiences of my life. I asked him how in the hell he expected us to pedal up against a head wind like that and he said he didn't. Great customer service.
Anyhow, they took a boat out to retrieve and all ended well. But pedal boats are the suck.
Last edited by a moderator:
dharmapunk
Footballguy
Dear Laptop,
I'm sorry for putting you on my son's step stool during my morning dump. In my desperate need for reading material, I didn't consider that such a low position in front of me would be a perfect bomb zone for stray urine when I stood up. I'll never look at your rightside ALT key the same way again. I'm sorry; I should have dabbed.
Sincerely,
DP
I'm sorry for putting you on my son's step stool during my morning dump. In my desperate need for reading material, I didn't consider that such a low position in front of me would be a perfect bomb zone for stray urine when I stood up. I'll never look at your rightside ALT key the same way again. I'm sorry; I should have dabbed.
Sincerely,
DP
Early_10
footballgoddess
I actually agree. Women just don't figure out the angles/spaces/turning radius in general. There are certainly exceptions. My mom and MiL are terrible drivers and even worse at parking. We have a driveway that would easily fit 20 cars and yet my mom insists upon parking tight to my garage door when she comes to babysit KNOWING I have to get there as soon as she comes in the house. 
I once sat in the car with my MiL for 20+ minutes waiting for her to cross 3 lanes of traffic. I finally urged her to just pull in the closest lane, switch lanes twice and turn around in a parking lot. There was no way we were getting out of that parking lot before the business day ended. I don't know how they ever got their licenses. My mom was practicing for her drivers test in a big meadow with a backhoe parked in one end of it. She did indeed manage to smack into the backhoe. Also agree on the men part. Hubby has had some 8 or more accidents (rearended 4 times in one calender year..even though it was deemed someone elses fault, wtf are you doing that the guy behind you can't stop 4 times so close to one another) which we don't even blink at given he drives about 60-80 hours a week.
I'm on the road 30+ hours a week for the last 2 years since getting my taxi license so by comparison one accident is not a big deal. I was more pissed off with not getting to blow off steam playing ball.
How many accidents have you had?
I once sat in the car with my MiL for 20+ minutes waiting for her to cross 3 lanes of traffic. I finally urged her to just pull in the closest lane, switch lanes twice and turn around in a parking lot. There was no way we were getting out of that parking lot before the business day ended. I don't know how they ever got their licenses. My mom was practicing for her drivers test in a big meadow with a backhoe parked in one end of it. She did indeed manage to smack into the backhoe. Also agree on the men part. Hubby has had some 8 or more accidents (rearended 4 times in one calender year..even though it was deemed someone elses fault, wtf are you doing that the guy behind you can't stop 4 times so close to one another) which we don't even blink at given he drives about 60-80 hours a week.I'm on the road 30+ hours a week for the last 2 years since getting my taxi license so by comparison one accident is not a big deal. I was more pissed off with not getting to blow off steam playing ball.
How many accidents have you had?
Early_10
footballgoddess
It folded...too many men, not enough women.
YSR
Footballguy
Elaboration on the "homo float" is required. TIA.
That Little Voice
Footballguy
I woke up this morning curious about the Disco Stu update. I suppose i should find a hobby or something.:dingdingding:"I need to tell you something... I have a boyfriend."Disco Stu said:
"Oh, that's it?!""I mean, boyfriend... wow."
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Interesting. We've always called them "paddle boats", which now that I see this other name I realize doesn't make much sense. According to the internet, both are correct, however.Also I've had the pedal boat vs. the wind situation. My parents ended up having to come out in their real boat and tow us back to shore.
urbanhack
Fight The Power!
Brisbane is underrated.
urbanhack
Fight The Power!
Definitely do a boat tour.Definitely take a stroll through Vondelpark.Definitely take a stroll through the Red Light district.
Work on your wall scaling skills.
mr. furley
Footballguy
confirmed, unless you enjoy soul-crushing depression
Josie Maran
Footballguy
Not exactly a banner week for Homer J.
On Friday I got pulled over and cited for driving without insurance. And yes, I know I'm an idiot. License is suspended, car is at an impound lot, court date tomorrow. Gonna cost me about $700 all around, and living paycheck to paycheck, that hurts.
But I did the math, and it didn't seem too terribly bad.
Then I came to work today to find out that I'll be laid off at the end of the week. F###ing perfect.
On Friday I got pulled over and cited for driving without insurance. And yes, I know I'm an idiot. License is suspended, car is at an impound lot, court date tomorrow. Gonna cost me about $700 all around, and living paycheck to paycheck, that hurts.
But I did the math, and it didn't seem too terribly bad.
Then I came to work today to find out that I'll be laid off at the end of the week. F###ing perfect.
Early_10
footballgoddess
You're cute and desperate. Thats a perfect hiring combination. Got a gstring?
YSR
Footballguy
When I was 20, I ate some mushrooms and went to the Van Gogh museum. What followed was one of the best hours (maybe multiple hours?) ever. I could look at each of his portraits and tell you exactly what that person was thinking when he/she was being painted. :(I know mushrooms won't be part of the equation, but the Van Gogh museum would probably be pretty cool if you have time.
Josie Maran
Footballguy
Maybe Destiney :( can hook me up...she's gotta be stripping by now.
mr. furley
Footballguy
good timeswas there when they had the museum arranged from early Van Gogh to late life Van Gogh so that you could watch his painting "devolve"maybe it has always been setup that way :(When I was 20, I ate some mushrooms and went to the Van Gogh museum. What followed was one of the best hours (maybe multiple hours?) ever. I could look at each of his portraits and tell you exactly what that person was thinking when he/she was being painted.
charvik
Footballguy
Krista> It would help with some hints on what type of food you prefer, but here's some places I have been to... now, it's been 3 years since I was in Amsterdam last, so some may not be exactly as I remember but anyway...
Ciel Bleu: Fine Dining. 2 Michelin Stars. I like their Scottish Salmon, the Roasted Pigeon and definitely their Cheese Trolley. They have a very good wine selection as well. I would anticipate around 200 - 250 Euros per person (if you drink wine).
English webpage: http://www.cielbleu.nl/en/Home.html
De Bolhoed: Vegetarian place my hippie friends liked a lot. I drank there, and it worked for me. Very good coffee drinks, but I don't know that much about the food, outside of my friends raving about it. Not sure if they have a webpage, but here's some vegan reviews: http://www.vegguide.org/entry/1036
Beddingtons: Fusion cuisine that has gotten rave reviews. I think it's very uneven, so check the menu first. http://www.diningcity.nl/beddington/en/index.php
Kaiko: Best sushi in Amsterdam IMO. Also very popular with Japanese business men. The place is always packed. But if you want a more traditional Japanese menu, go to Yamazoto instead (which has a Michelin star as well). http://www.yamazato.nl/en/Home.html Their Sukiyaki is among the best I've had. They used to serve traditional Japanese breakfast as well, but I'm not sure if they still do that.
For beer, go to Arendsnest, because they specialize in Dutch beer: http://www.arendsnest.nl/english.php Plenty of other places that have Belgian and German beers, but why do that while in Amsterdam.
If you want to try Jenever, go to Olofspoort, to try it out. They also sell bottles to take home: http://www.olofspoort.com/main.html
Most places have been around for centuries, so there's definitely traditional bars/pubs/restaurants to visit... Do you know what weekday you'll be there? There's always events taking place all over the city, so the weekday can factor in on what there is to do.
What type of sight seeing? I enjoy the Van Gogh Museum, but I like art... hate the Anne Frank museum... Rembrandthuis is worth a visit, the Maritime Museum is worth a visit too (http://www.scheepvaartmuseum.nl/english), the Rijksmuseum, the Vodka museum (also has a bar), Tulip museum (I don't care for it, but it is Holland). Most of these are in the museum quarter and very close. I like the Geels Coffee museum too, which is really a shop, with a museum top floor, but I'm a coffee fanatic... They are not open all days of the week though, so it's going to depend on when you are there. Museum of Bags and Purses maybe?
Ciel Bleu: Fine Dining. 2 Michelin Stars. I like their Scottish Salmon, the Roasted Pigeon and definitely their Cheese Trolley. They have a very good wine selection as well. I would anticipate around 200 - 250 Euros per person (if you drink wine).
English webpage: http://www.cielbleu.nl/en/Home.html
De Bolhoed: Vegetarian place my hippie friends liked a lot. I drank there, and it worked for me. Very good coffee drinks, but I don't know that much about the food, outside of my friends raving about it. Not sure if they have a webpage, but here's some vegan reviews: http://www.vegguide.org/entry/1036
Beddingtons: Fusion cuisine that has gotten rave reviews. I think it's very uneven, so check the menu first. http://www.diningcity.nl/beddington/en/index.php
Kaiko: Best sushi in Amsterdam IMO. Also very popular with Japanese business men. The place is always packed. But if you want a more traditional Japanese menu, go to Yamazoto instead (which has a Michelin star as well). http://www.yamazato.nl/en/Home.html Their Sukiyaki is among the best I've had. They used to serve traditional Japanese breakfast as well, but I'm not sure if they still do that.
For beer, go to Arendsnest, because they specialize in Dutch beer: http://www.arendsnest.nl/english.php Plenty of other places that have Belgian and German beers, but why do that while in Amsterdam.
If you want to try Jenever, go to Olofspoort, to try it out. They also sell bottles to take home: http://www.olofspoort.com/main.html
Most places have been around for centuries, so there's definitely traditional bars/pubs/restaurants to visit... Do you know what weekday you'll be there? There's always events taking place all over the city, so the weekday can factor in on what there is to do.
What type of sight seeing? I enjoy the Van Gogh Museum, but I like art... hate the Anne Frank museum... Rembrandthuis is worth a visit, the Maritime Museum is worth a visit too (http://www.scheepvaartmuseum.nl/english), the Rijksmuseum, the Vodka museum (also has a bar), Tulip museum (I don't care for it, but it is Holland). Most of these are in the museum quarter and very close. I like the Geels Coffee museum too, which is really a shop, with a museum top floor, but I'm a coffee fanatic... They are not open all days of the week though, so it's going to depend on when you are there. Museum of Bags and Purses maybe?
UOFI_316
Footballguy
Do you do music?? Maybe you can babysit her kids while she works the pole.Maybe Destiney
wadegarrett
FFA Legend™
Tremendous Upside
Footballguy
This reminds me of one of the funniest things I have read recently...Peter King, the football writer for Sports Illustrated, has a weekly column where he ruminates on all things football and otherwise, in a not unlike Larry King mannerThe football/humor website Kissing Suzy Kolber does a weekly column where they take the piss out of Mr. King by providing MST3K style running commentary for his column
Coincidentally a recent Peter King column discussed his visit to the Anne Frank house:
Here's KSK's take on this paragraph:
That Little Voice
Footballguy
Awesome. Big fan of KSK and Deadspin.
Sheriff Bart
Footballguy
Don't you hate when you really have to poop but you got a boner?
Josie Maran
Footballguy
Dentist?
Chiwawa
Footballguy
Uhh, I've never gotten aroused with a bullet in the chamber.
Running with scissors
Stark Raving Sane
Oof. Homer, not the best day week ever.
Unrelated, mostly hating my job so it's tough to get out of bed in the morning, especially after a long weekend. But here's the benefit of the life I've built for myself. I didn't get out of bed until 7:35. Showered, brushed teeth, dressed and out the door by 7:55. After a 20 minute walk, I'm in the office at 8:15, only a few minutes after I usually get in.
Now a coffee and I'm set for my day of slacking.
Unrelated, mostly hating my job so it's tough to get out of bed in the morning, especially after a long weekend. But here's the benefit of the life I've built for myself. I didn't get out of bed until 7:35. Showered, brushed teeth, dressed and out the door by 7:55. After a 20 minute walk, I'm in the office at 8:15, only a few minutes after I usually get in.
Now a coffee and I'm set for my day of slacking.
Running with scissors
Stark Raving Sane
Multitasking at its best.
Drifter
Footballguy
How long will you be there?Sydney and Brisbane and points between will provide you plenty of beach time mixed with some good restaurants and wildlife. I would suggest driving inland from Sydney across the Blue Mountains and a little bit into the outback on your way up to Brisbane and then drive back down the coast on your return.Beaches in Sydney to check out are Bondi and Avalon if you want to give surfing a go. You should of course, plan an afternoon and evening at the Harbor checking out the opera house, gardens and restaurant/bar scene. If you want to go crazy, head over to Kings Cross after midnight for some interesting bar action.
Black Taco
Footballguy
just position it below the toilet seat like a loaded spring.
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