GM's thread about nothing (36 Viewers)

[Radio Free Homer]

Having a couple of beers to help the sleeping pills kick in. Is that bad?

 

[Raider Nation]

Tim has outdone himself

 

[McJose]

I'm home now.

Bennett is still at the hospital. Still has his fever, vacillating between 101 and 102, but spiked to above 103 at one point. He came back negative on menangitis and his cell counts are all good. His lungs also sound good which is awesome because pneumonia can develop from the severe kind of acid reflux he has. Since he still has his fever he almost certainly has an infection of some kind. He's on antibiotics and will be kept at the hospital a minimum of 48 hours as they run tests and what not. So no bad news, and some kind of good news, but we will still have to wait and see.

Also as we were waiting Mrs. Frosty started developing a pain in her side, which got so severe at one point she was doubled over in pain, and the nurses made her go check in to the ER. They currently are theorizing it might be appendicitis. I'm only home because I had to let my parents go home and take over watching my daughter.

I'm not going to lie, this is a freaking lot to deal with right here. I can't believe I have to go to work tomorrow.

Damn dude...best of luck. No way out of work tomorrow? I can write you a note. I'm a teacher. I have that power.ETA: Just read your post about why you have to word tomorrow. That's a bear. Hang in there.

 

[Dungeon Master]

Jesus, you can't get a day off for this? Homer doesn't show up for work if there's too much debris (pizza boxes, beer cans, over-turned tricycles) between the bedroom and the front door.

I could, but I just took two weeks paternity leave and had to miss a bunch of half days here and there leading up to it for various doc appointments. I know they wouldn't care, but I'm starting to feel some guilt. It's a great job with great people, but I've only been there five months.

You know how long I was at my job when I went on pat. leave? TWO DAYS. And everyone was cool.Call out tomorrow. Seriously. Or I'll mail you anthrax.

I'm at work, mainly because the wife is fine. Not appendicitis, just some fluid backing up behind the scar tissue from the C-section cut. The drained it and she is fine and with the kid at the hospital today. Still nothing bad to report, nothing popping up in the blood culture, which is good. Still has a fever but it's down to 100.8 right now. Still on antibiotics to fight the infection, whatever it is. If the wife's issue would have been more serious I definitely wouldn't be at work, but I'm glad I am. Good distraction.They don't have internet in our hospital room.

 

[Dexter Manley]

WTF is a couples shower?

Optimistically: A shower built especially for two people.Realistically: A modernized coed bridal shower.

This is different than an engagement party, right?

 

[That Little Voice]

Hang in there Frosty and Ben.

 

[McJose]

Reason why I love my job #72:

Had a 'goals and objectives for the year' meeting with my principal. We go way back. He has to ask me a certain number of canned questions. I give the appropriate answers.

So he asks "what would you say are your strengths?"

I tell him "the ability to take curriculum that is blah blah blah and blah blah for student success."

He's typing my answers onto his laptop. I add "Oh yeah, and my penis."

MEETING ADJOURNED

 

[General Malaise]

Reason why I love my job #72:Had a 'goals and objectives for the year' meeting with my principal. We go way back. He has to ask me a certain number of canned questions. I give the appropriate answers. So he asks "what would you say are your strengths?" I tell him "the ability to take curriculum that is blah blah blah and blah blah for student success."He's typing my answers onto his laptop. I add "Oh yeah, and my penis."MEETING ADJOURNED

 

[McJose]

Fell to the second page. This is like somebody dropping the standard in battle. I'm just glad I was here to pick it up.

 

[Thorn]

where do we do that again?

I just sent a reminder e-mail to everyone.English, HI! der

You guys playing a pool? /flounder

 

[Tiger Fan]

Deciding whether or not to take a full day vacation tomorrow

 

[Exit 1]

Deciding whether or not to take a full day vacation tomorrow

Plan a staycation with the wifey.:boomchickachickboomboom:

 

[Tremendous Upside]

Deciding whether or not to take a full day vacation tomorrow

Yes, you shouldBy the time you get back next week, tomorrow AM will be but a distant memory...Won't make any difference at all

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Reason why I love my job #72:Had a 'goals and objectives for the year' meeting with my principal. We go way back. He has to ask me a certain number of canned questions. I give the appropriate answers. So he asks "what would you say are your strengths?" I tell him "the ability to take curriculum that is blah blah blah and blah blah for student success."He's typing my answers onto his laptop. I add "Oh yeah, and my penis."MEETING ADJOURNED

 

[St. Louis Bob]

GM, my post is gone but I got a script for 30.

 

[Sammy3469]

GM, my post is gone but I got a script for 30.

:confetti:

 

[guru_007]

this thread has kind of petered out. Getting a little bummed about DM updates and fantasy football roster shtick

How about if one of you young, single guys step up to the plate, throw down a slump buster - and share the horribly embarrassing details.

This older, married, boring guy lives vicariously through you.

wtf

 

[St. Louis Bob]

this thread has kind of petered out.

I've tried to spice it up a couple of times but it wasn't PG enough I guess.

 

[guru_007]

this thread has kind of petered out.

I've tried to spice it up a couple of times but it wasn't PG enough I guess.

missed it

 

[Sammy3469]

this thread has kind of petered out. Getting a little bummed about DM updates and fantasy football roster shtick How about if one of you young, single guys step up to the plate, throw down a slump buster - and share the horribly embarrassing details. This older, married, boring guy lives vicariously through you. wtf

It's still better than ArticEdge asking if Kelly Kappour is hot. Really?

 

[Running with scissors]

this thread has kind of petered out. Getting a little bummed about DM updates and fantasy football roster shtick How about if one of you young, single guys step up to the plate, throw down a slump buster - and share the horribly embarrassing details. This older, married, boring guy lives vicariously through you. wtf

I did a ~300 mile trip last weekend to hook up with an ex for a few days but she's not a slump buster (no pics, don't ask). I don't think I'm young either.

 

[videoguy505]

this thread has kind of petered out. Getting a little bummed about DM updates and fantasy football roster shtick How about if one of you young, single guys step up to the plate, throw down a slump buster - and share the horribly embarrassing details. This older, married, boring guy lives vicariously through you. wtf

Absolutely blew it this weekend with a great chick. Is there a term for a "reverse slump-buster"? A "slump-extender" or something? When you so completely screw up your game that mentally you can barely get the bat off your shoulder for your next up?

 

[urbanhack]

Work FF draft getting ready to start in the conference room.

six pack in hand - check

 

[krista4]

this thread has kind of petered out. Getting a little bummed about DM updates and fantasy football roster shtick :(How about if one of you young, single guys step up to the plate, throw down a slump buster - and share the horribly embarrassing details. This older, married, boring guy lives vicariously through you. wtf

Absolutely blew it this weekend with a great chick. Is there a term for a "reverse slump-buster"? A "slump-extender" or something? When you so completely screw up your game that mentally you can barely get the bat off your shoulder for your next up?

 

[guru_007]

Pretty sure Hooter311 had a nice Vegas weekend - someone get him in here stat to spill the dirty details.

 

[Radio Free Homer]

this thread has kind of petered out. Getting a little bummed about DM updates and fantasy football roster shtick How about if one of you young, single guys step up to the plate, throw down a slump buster - and share the horribly embarrassing details. This older, married, boring guy lives vicariously through you. wtf

Consider me officially on a Hillbilly Hunt.

 

[kevzilla]

this thread has kind of petered out. Getting a little bummed about DM updates and fantasy football roster shtick :(How about if one of you young, single guys step up to the plate, throw down a slump buster - and share the horribly embarrassing details. This older, married, boring guy lives vicariously through you. wtf

Consider me officially on a Hillbilly Hunt.

You don't hunt for Destiney. It just sort of finds you.

 

[Sea Ropes]

this thread has kind of petered out. Getting a little bummed about DM updates and fantasy football roster shtick :(How about if one of you young, single guys step up to the plate, throw down a slump buster - and share the horribly embarrassing details. This older, married, boring guy lives vicariously through you. wtf

Consider me officially on a Hillbilly Hunt.

You don't hunt for Destiney. It just sort of finds you.

:(

 

[bostonfred]

How long ago did sea ropes happen?

 

[videoguy505]

How long ago did sea ropes happen?

June 22.

 

[Tremendous Upside]

SAME AS DAY 1

 

[Radio Free Homer]

this thread has kind of petered out. Getting a little bummed about DM updates and fantasy football roster shtick :(How about if one of you young, single guys step up to the plate, throw down a slump buster - and share the horribly embarrassing details. This older, married, boring guy lives vicariously through you. wtf

Consider me officially on a Hillbilly Hunt.

You don't hunt for Destiney. It just sort of finds you.

 

[Clifton]

Matanuska Thunderhump

 

[Gadzooks]

this thread has kind of petered out. Getting a little bummed about DM updates and fantasy football roster shtick How about if one of you young, single guys step up to the plate, throw down a slump buster - and share the horribly embarrassing details. This older, married, boring guy lives vicariously through you. wtf

I'm 0 for my last 2. To quote LT. Colonel Mathew Markinson from "A Few Good Men": I want you to know that I am proud neither of what I have done nor what I am doing.Couple weeks ago I went out on first ever Match.com date. We seemed to click after chatting for a couple weeks, so we decide to meet for drinks. We went to a restaurant/bar that was about half way between where we live (we're about an hour away from each other) It was 8:30 and it we were supposed to be meeting for drinks, but she ordered a full dinner. I had already eaten dinner (a lovely bacon cheeseburger from Wendy's followed by 2 freezepops when I got home) But when it comes to food, I am weak. If I am in the vicinity of food that looks/smells good, I will push my Mother out of the way to get some. I went light and only ordered the queen size prime rib. Our conversation wasn't that great, she complained alot about not having time to have a life because of her job and her son. I was absolutely charming, witty and oozed a Clooney-esque sex appeal (that may not be true, but none of you were there so how would you know if I'm lying?) I picked up the check and wondered about meeting up with some of my buddies at another bar. Then she mentioned how her mother volunteered to take her son overnight, so now I'm thinking I just might get myself some much needed ACTION. We get to the parking lot and she starts walking very quickly to her car and says "have a good night, drive safely" and shuts her car door before I can say anything. It was like a horror movie and she was trying to escape from the psycho killer. I watched her drive away and I tried to catch my breath (I was trying to keep up with her when she was walking fast and got a little winded) I couldn't believe that I got NOTHING except the pleasure of boring conversation and paying for a dinner that I didn't even need to have, though the Prime Rib was excellent. (I assume you don't need to hear about the porn I went home and watched after that date, so I'll just end that story right there)Then last week, a girl I grew up with who has lived in LA for the last 17 years came back home to visit for a week. [background: I always had a crush on her when we were growing up, but nothing ever happened, then we re-connected on FaceBook (I know, I might be gay) a year ago. She was home for the holidays last winter and we hung out a lot and fooled around a little on my couch after a night of drinking, but didn't seal the deal.] So now she's back, and we go out for drinks. It's getting late and for some reason, I'm not feeling the physical attraction to her anymore, she looks the same, but for some reason, I was more interested in going to bed and getting some sleep since I had to work in the morning. So she drove me home around 1:30 (she had picked me up earlier) and we were chatting in the car in my driveway. I am exhausted, but I'm getting the feeling that she maybe willing to come inside and seal the deal. But she wont' stop yapping about stupid stuff (it must have been stupid because I honestly can't remember any of it) So I decided, screw it, I'm going in and going to bed. So I open the car door to get out and she says "oh c'mon give me lovin"and puts her out for a hug, so I give her the hug and she immediately starts making out with me. It took 1 second for me to lose interest in sleeping and become ready for sexy time. After the debacle of that Match.com date the week before, I was ready to Rock-n-Roll!!! I reached over and turned the ignition off and said "let's go inside" and then she says "no, you have to get up for work in about 4 or 5 hours, I'll come over tomorrow night" I was like "NO! Really, it's ok, I don't need sleep" She giggled and says "you're too much, I'm not going inside, but I do want to kiss you some more". So she goes to grab my face and pull me in for more kissing when I noticed something horribly wrong: you see, she had on a tank-top shirt, and when she lifted her arms to pull my face in for the kiss, I saw......... arm pit hair. Not stubble..... arm pit hair. Not one strangly hair....... arm pit hair. I saw arm pit hair. I've never been so turned off so quickly in all my life. She's kissing me, but now I'm just sitting there in complete shock. I closed my eyes.... and all I could see was the image of that arm pit hair. I tried not to think about it, but it was no use. I knew that arm pit hair was there. I kept my hands down around her hips the whole time. Finally, she stopped kissing and said "ok, you better get going before I end up going inside with you". I couldn't open that car door fast enough. She said "so, you'll be home tomorrow night? I"ll call you" And I said "Yeah, I'll be hair.... er... I mean here". She drove away and I ran inside almost threw up. I didn't answer the phone the next night, then the day after I told her I came home and passed out early. She's back in LA now with her arm pit hair.So I've had a rough couple weeks, but prospects on the horizon are good. I have a lunch date with a new girl from Match on Friday. And next week I go to an annual work conference in New Orleans and I came close to hooking up with one of the presenters at the conference last year and she texted me this week that she's excited to see me next week in New Orleans. Keep your fingers crossed that I dont' run into anymore female arm pit hair.

 

[McJose]

this thread has kind of petered out. Getting a little bummed about DM updates and fantasy football roster shtick

How about if one of you young, single guys step up to the plate, throw down a slump buster - and share the horribly embarrassing details.

This older, married, boring guy lives vicariously through you.

wtf

I'm 0 for my last 2. To quote LT. Colonel Mathew Markinson from "A Few Good Men": I want you to know that I am proud neither of what I have done nor what I am doing.Couple weeks ago I went out on first ever Match.com date. We seemed to click after chatting for a couple weeks, so we decide to meet for drinks. We went to a restaurant/bar that was about half way between where we live (we're about an hour away from each other) It was 8:30 and it we were supposed to be meeting for drinks, but she ordered a full dinner. I had already eaten dinner (a lovely bacon cheeseburger from Wendy's followed by 2 freezepops when I got home) But when it comes to food, I am weak. If I am in the vicinity of food that looks/smells good, I will push my Mother out of the way to get some. I went light and only ordered the queen size prime rib. Our conversation wasn't that great, she complained alot about not having time to have a life because of her job and her son. I was absolutely charming, witty and oozed a Clooney-esque sex appeal (that may not be true, but none of you were there so how would you know if I'm lying?) I picked up the check and wondered about meeting up with some of my buddies at another bar. Then she mentioned how her mother volunteered to take her son overnight, so now I'm thinking I just might get myself some much needed ACTION. We get to the parking lot and she starts walking very quickly to her car and says "have a good night, drive safely" and shuts her car door before I can say anything. It was like a horror movie and she was trying to escape from the psycho killer. I watched her drive away and I tried to catch my breath (I was trying to keep up with her when she was walking fast and got a little winded) I couldn't believe that I got NOTHING except the pleasure of boring conversation and paying for a dinner that I didn't even need to have, though the Prime Rib was excellent. (I assume you don't need to hear about the porn I went home and watched after that date, so I'll just end that story right there)

Then last week, a girl I grew up with who has lived in LA for the last 17 years came back home to visit for a week. [background: I always had a crush on her when we were growing up, but nothing ever happened, then we re-connected on FaceBook (I know, I might be gay) a year ago. She was home for the holidays last winter and we hung out a lot and fooled around a little on my couch after a night of drinking, but didn't seal the deal.] So now she's back, and we go out for drinks. It's getting late and for some reason, I'm not feeling the physical attraction to her anymore, she looks the same, but for some reason, I was more interested in going to bed and getting some sleep since I had to work in the morning. So she drove me home around 1:30 (she had picked me up earlier) and we were chatting in the car in my driveway. I am exhausted, but I'm getting the feeling that she maybe willing to come inside and seal the deal. But she wont' stop yapping about stupid stuff (it must have been stupid because I honestly can't remember any of it) So I decided, screw it, I'm going in and going to bed. So I open the car door to get out and she says "oh c'mon give me lovin"and puts her out for a hug, so I give her the hug and she immediately starts making out with me. It took 1 second for me to lose interest in sleeping and become ready for sexy time. After the debacle of that Match.com date the week before, I was ready to Rock-n-Roll!!! I reached over and turned the ignition off and said "let's go inside" and then she says "no, you have to get up for work in about 4 or 5 hours, I'll come over tomorrow night" I was like "NO! Really, it's ok, I don't need sleep" She giggled and says "you're too much, I'm not going inside, but I do want to kiss you some more". So she goes to grab my face and pull me in for more kissing when I noticed something horribly wrong: you see, she had on a tank-top shirt, and when she lifted her arms to pull my face in for the kiss, I saw......... arm pit hair. Not stubble..... arm pit hair. Not one strangly hair....... arm pit hair. I saw arm pit hair. I've never been so turned off so quickly in all my life. She's kissing me, but now I'm just sitting there in complete shock. I closed my eyes.... and all I could see was the image of that arm pit hair. I tried not to think about it, but it was no use. I knew that arm pit hair was there. I kept my hands down around her hips the whole time. Finally, she stopped kissing and said "ok, you better get going before I end up going inside with you". I couldn't open that car door fast enough. She said "so, you'll be home tomorrow night? I"ll call you" And I said "Yeah, I'll be hair.... er... I mean here". She drove away and I ran inside almost threw up. I didn't answer the phone the next night, then the day after I told her I came home and passed out early. She's back in LA now with her arm pit hair.

So I've had a rough couple weeks, but prospects on the horizon are good. I have a lunch date with a new girl from Match on Friday. And next week I go to an annual work conference in New Orleans and I came close to hooking up with one of the presenters at the conference last year and she texted me this week that she's excited to see me next week in New Orleans. Keep your fingers crossed that I dont' run into anymore female arm pit hair.

 

[Tiger Fan]

Deciding whether or not to take a full day vacation tomorrow

Yes, you shouldBy the time you get back next week, tomorrow AM will be but a distant memory...

Won't make any difference at all

definitely off. So freaking pumped up rightnow. I'm like a 31 year old kid.Can't. Get. Too. Drunk. Pregame. Again.

 

[Tremendous Upside]

Deciding whether or not to take a full day vacation tomorrow

Yes, you shouldBy the time you get back next week, tomorrow AM will be but a distant memory...

Won't make any difference at all

definitely off. So freaking pumped up rightnow. I'm like a 31 year old kid.Can't. Get. Too. Drunk. Pregame. Again.

Enjoy to the max GBWith the upcoming realities of life speeding towards you, make sure to enjoy this chance to get away



Geaux Saints!

 

[Tiger Fan]

Deciding whether or not to take a full day vacation tomorrow

Yes, you shouldBy the time you get back next week, tomorrow AM will be but a distant memory...

Won't make any difference at all

definitely off. So freaking pumped up rightnow. I'm like a 31 year old kid.Can't. Get. Too. Drunk. Pregame. Again.

Enjoy to the max GBWith the upcoming realities of life speeding towards you, make sure to enjoy this chance to get away



Geaux Saints!

 

[desert rose]

this thread has kind of petered out. Getting a little bummed about DM updates and fantasy football roster shtick How about if one of you young, single guys step up to the plate, throw down a slump buster - and share the horribly embarrassing details. This older, married, boring guy lives vicariously through you. wtf

Then last week, a girl I grew up with who has lived in LA for the last 17 years came back home to visit for a week. [background: I always had a crush on her when we were growing up, but nothing ever happened, then we re-connected on FaceBook (I know, I might be gay) a year ago. She was home for the holidays last winter and we hung out a lot and fooled around a little on my couch after a night of drinking, but didn't seal the deal.] So now she's back, and we go out for drinks. It's getting late and for some reason, I'm not feeling the physical attraction to her anymore, she looks the same, but for some reason, I was more interested in going to bed and getting some sleep since I had to work in the morning. So she drove me home around 1:30 (she had picked me up earlier) and we were chatting in the car in my driveway. I am exhausted, but I'm getting the feeling that she maybe willing to come inside and seal the deal. But she wont' stop yapping about stupid stuff (it must have been stupid because I honestly can't remember any of it) So I decided, screw it, I'm going in and going to bed. So I open the car door to get out and she says "oh c'mon give me lovin"and puts her out for a hug, so I give her the hug and she immediately starts making out with me. It took 1 second for me to lose interest in sleeping and become ready for sexy time. After the debacle of that Match.com date the week before, I was ready to Rock-n-Roll!!! I reached over and turned the ignition off and said "let's go inside" and then she says "no, you have to get up for work in about 4 or 5 hours, I'll come over tomorrow night" I was like "NO! Really, it's ok, I don't need sleep" She giggled and says "you're too much, I'm not going inside, but I do want to kiss you some more". So she goes to grab my face and pull me in for more kissing when I noticed something horribly wrong: you see, she had on a tank-top shirt, and when she lifted her arms to pull my face in for the kiss, I saw......... arm pit hair. Not stubble..... arm pit hair. Not one strangly hair....... arm pit hair. I saw arm pit hair. I've never been so turned off so quickly in all my life. She's kissing me, but now I'm just sitting there in complete shock. I closed my eyes.... and all I could see was the image of that arm pit hair. I tried not to think about it, but it was no use. I knew that arm pit hair was there. I kept my hands down around her hips the whole time. Finally, she stopped kissing and said "ok, you better get going before I end up going inside with you". I couldn't open that car door fast enough. She said "so, you'll be home tomorrow night? I"ll call you" And I said "Yeah, I'll be hair.... er... I mean here". She drove away and I ran inside almost threw up. I didn't answer the phone the next night, then the day after I told her I came home and passed out early. She's back in LA now with her arm pit hair.So I've had a rough couple weeks, but prospects on the horizon are good. I have a lunch date with a new girl from Match on Friday. And next week I go to an annual work conference in New Orleans and I came close to hooking up with one of the presenters at the conference last year and she texted me this week that she's excited to see me next week in New Orleans. Keep your fingers crossed that I dont' run into anymore female arm pit hair.

If you think her pit hair is bad, wait 'til you see her nekkid.

 

[wilked]

pls see mine

http://forums.footballguys.com/forum/index...howtopic=553420

 

[General Malaise]

this thread has kind of petered out. Getting a little bummed about DM updates and fantasy football roster shtick :(How about if one of you young, single guys step up to the plate, throw down a slump buster - and share the horribly embarrassing details. This older, married, boring guy lives vicariously through you. wtf

I'm 0 for my last 2. To quote LT. Colonel Mathew Markinson from "A Few Good Men": I want you to know that I am proud neither of what I have done nor what I am doing.Couple weeks ago I went out on first ever Match.com date. We seemed to click after chatting for a couple weeks, so we decide to meet for drinks. We went to a restaurant/bar that was about half way between where we live (we're about an hour away from each other) It was 8:30 and it we were supposed to be meeting for drinks, but she ordered a full dinner. I had already eaten dinner (a lovely bacon cheeseburger from Wendy's followed by 2 freezepops when I got home) But when it comes to food, I am weak. If I am in the vicinity of food that looks/smells good, I will push my Mother out of the way to get some. I went light and only ordered the queen size prime rib. Our conversation wasn't that great, she complained alot about not having time to have a life because of her job and her son. I was absolutely charming, witty and oozed a Clooney-esque sex appeal (that may not be true, but none of you were there so how would you know if I'm lying?) I picked up the check and wondered about meeting up with some of my buddies at another bar. Then she mentioned how her mother volunteered to take her son overnight, so now I'm thinking I just might get myself some much needed ACTION. We get to the parking lot and she starts walking very quickly to her car and says "have a good night, drive safely" and shuts her car door before I can say anything. It was like a horror movie and she was trying to escape from the psycho killer. I watched her drive away and I tried to catch my breath (I was trying to keep up with her when she was walking fast and got a little winded) I couldn't believe that I got NOTHING except the pleasure of boring conversation and paying for a dinner that I didn't even need to have, though the Prime Rib was excellent. (I assume you don't need to hear about the porn I went home and watched after that date, so I'll just end that story right there)Then last week, a girl I grew up with who has lived in LA for the last 17 years came back home to visit for a week. [background: I always had a crush on her when we were growing up, but nothing ever happened, then we re-connected on FaceBook (I know, I might be gay) a year ago. She was home for the holidays last winter and we hung out a lot and fooled around a little on my couch after a night of drinking, but didn't seal the deal.] So now she's back, and we go out for drinks. It's getting late and for some reason, I'm not feeling the physical attraction to her anymore, she looks the same, but for some reason, I was more interested in going to bed and getting some sleep since I had to work in the morning. So she drove me home around 1:30 (she had picked me up earlier) and we were chatting in the car in my driveway. I am exhausted, but I'm getting the feeling that she maybe willing to come inside and seal the deal. But she wont' stop yapping about stupid stuff (it must have been stupid because I honestly can't remember any of it) So I decided, screw it, I'm going in and going to bed. So I open the car door to get out and she says "oh c'mon give me lovin"and puts her out for a hug, so I give her the hug and she immediately starts making out with me. It took 1 second for me to lose interest in sleeping and become ready for sexy time. After the debacle of that Match.com date the week before, I was ready to Rock-n-Roll!!! I reached over and turned the ignition off and said "let's go inside" and then she says "no, you have to get up for work in about 4 or 5 hours, I'll come over tomorrow night" I was like "NO! Really, it's ok, I don't need sleep" She giggled and says "you're too much, I'm not going inside, but I do want to kiss you some more". So she goes to grab my face and pull me in for more kissing when I noticed something horribly wrong: you see, she had on a tank-top shirt, and when she lifted her arms to pull my face in for the kiss, I saw......... arm pit hair. Not stubble..... arm pit hair. Not one strangly hair....... arm pit hair. I saw arm pit hair. I've never been so turned off so quickly in all my life. She's kissing me, but now I'm just sitting there in complete shock. I closed my eyes.... and all I could see was the image of that arm pit hair. I tried not to think about it, but it was no use. I knew that arm pit hair was there. I kept my hands down around her hips the whole time. Finally, she stopped kissing and said "ok, you better get going before I end up going inside with you". I couldn't open that car door fast enough. She said "so, you'll be home tomorrow night? I"ll call you" And I said "Yeah, I'll be hair.... er... I mean here". She drove away and I ran inside almost threw up. I didn't answer the phone the next night, then the day after I told her I came home and passed out early. She's back in LA now with her arm pit hair.So I've had a rough couple weeks, but prospects on the horizon are good. I have a lunch date with a new girl from Match on Friday. And next week I go to an annual work conference in New Orleans and I came close to hooking up with one of the presenters at the conference last year and she texted me this week that she's excited to see me next week in New Orleans. Keep your fingers crossed that I dont' run into anymore female arm pit hair.

Was "Gadzooks" somebody else in another life? If not, I got some posts to read. Great stuff.

 

[Radio Free Homer]

this thread has kind of petered out. Getting a little bummed about DM updates and fantasy football roster shtick :(

How about if one of you young, single guys step up to the plate, throw down a slump buster - and share the horribly embarrassing details.

This older, married, boring guy lives vicariously through you.

wtf

I'm 0 for my last 2. To quote LT. Colonel Mathew Markinson from "A Few Good Men": I want you to know that I am proud neither of what I have done nor what I am doing.Couple weeks ago I went out on first ever Match.com date. We seemed to click after chatting for a couple weeks, so we decide to meet for drinks. We went to a restaurant/bar that was about half way between where we live (we're about an hour away from each other) It was 8:30 and it we were supposed to be meeting for drinks, but she ordered a full dinner. I had already eaten dinner (a lovely bacon cheeseburger from Wendy's followed by 2 freezepops when I got home) But when it comes to food, I am weak. If I am in the vicinity of food that looks/smells good, I will push my Mother out of the way to get some. I went light and only ordered the queen size prime rib. Our conversation wasn't that great, she complained alot about not having time to have a life because of her job and her son. I was absolutely charming, witty and oozed a Clooney-esque sex appeal (that may not be true, but none of you were there so how would you know if I'm lying?) I picked up the check and wondered about meeting up with some of my buddies at another bar. Then she mentioned how her mother volunteered to take her son overnight, so now I'm thinking I just might get myself some much needed ACTION. We get to the parking lot and she starts walking very quickly to her car and says "have a good night, drive safely" and shuts her car door before I can say anything. It was like a horror movie and she was trying to escape from the psycho killer. I watched her drive away and I tried to catch my breath (I was trying to keep up with her when she was walking fast and got a little winded) I couldn't believe that I got NOTHING except the pleasure of boring conversation and paying for a dinner that I didn't even need to have, though the Prime Rib was excellent. (I assume you don't need to hear about the porn I went home and watched after that date, so I'll just end that story right there)

Then last week, a girl I grew up with who has lived in LA for the last 17 years came back home to visit for a week. [background: I always had a crush on her when we were growing up, but nothing ever happened, then we re-connected on FaceBook (I know, I might be gay) a year ago. She was home for the holidays last winter and we hung out a lot and fooled around a little on my couch after a night of drinking, but didn't seal the deal.] So now she's back, and we go out for drinks. It's getting late and for some reason, I'm not feeling the physical attraction to her anymore, she looks the same, but for some reason, I was more interested in going to bed and getting some sleep since I had to work in the morning. So she drove me home around 1:30 (she had picked me up earlier) and we were chatting in the car in my driveway. I am exhausted, but I'm getting the feeling that she maybe willing to come inside and seal the deal. But she wont' stop yapping about stupid stuff (it must have been stupid because I honestly can't remember any of it) So I decided, screw it, I'm going in and going to bed. So I open the car door to get out and she says "oh c'mon give me lovin"and puts her out for a hug, so I give her the hug and she immediately starts making out with me. It took 1 second for me to lose interest in sleeping and become ready for sexy time. After the debacle of that Match.com date the week before, I was ready to Rock-n-Roll!!! I reached over and turned the ignition off and said "let's go inside" and then she says "no, you have to get up for work in about 4 or 5 hours, I'll come over tomorrow night" I was like "NO! Really, it's ok, I don't need sleep" She giggled and says "you're too much, I'm not going inside, but I do want to kiss you some more". So she goes to grab my face and pull me in for more kissing when I noticed something horribly wrong: you see, she had on a tank-top shirt, and when she lifted her arms to pull my face in for the kiss, I saw......... arm pit hair. Not stubble..... arm pit hair. Not one strangly hair....... arm pit hair. I saw arm pit hair. I've never been so turned off so quickly in all my life. She's kissing me, but now I'm just sitting there in complete shock. I closed my eyes.... and all I could see was the image of that arm pit hair. I tried not to think about it, but it was no use. I knew that arm pit hair was there. I kept my hands down around her hips the whole time. Finally, she stopped kissing and said "ok, you better get going before I end up going inside with you". I couldn't open that car door fast enough. She said "so, you'll be home tomorrow night? I"ll call you" And I said "Yeah, I'll be hair.... er... I mean here". She drove away and I ran inside almost threw up. I didn't answer the phone the next night, then the day after I told her I came home and passed out early. She's back in LA now with her arm pit hair.

So I've had a rough couple weeks, but prospects on the horizon are good. I have a lunch date with a new girl from Match on Friday. And next week I go to an annual work conference in New Orleans and I came close to hooking up with one of the presenters at the conference last year and she texted me this week that she's excited to see me next week in New Orleans. Keep your fingers crossed that I dont' run into anymore female arm pit hair.

 

[Dungeon Master]

this thread has kind of petered out. Getting a little bummed about DM updates and fantasy football roster shtick :(

How about if one of you young, single guys step up to the plate, throw down a slump buster - and share the horribly embarrassing details.

This older, married, boring guy lives vicariously through you.

wtf

I'm 0 for my last 2. To quote LT. Colonel Mathew Markinson from "A Few Good Men": I want you to know that I am proud neither of what I have done nor what I am doing.Couple weeks ago I went out on first ever Match.com date. We seemed to click after chatting for a couple weeks, so we decide to meet for drinks. We went to a restaurant/bar that was about half way between where we live (we're about an hour away from each other) It was 8:30 and it we were supposed to be meeting for drinks, but she ordered a full dinner. I had already eaten dinner (a lovely bacon cheeseburger from Wendy's followed by 2 freezepops when I got home) But when it comes to food, I am weak. If I am in the vicinity of food that looks/smells good, I will push my Mother out of the way to get some. I went light and only ordered the queen size prime rib. Our conversation wasn't that great, she complained alot about not having time to have a life because of her job and her son. I was absolutely charming, witty and oozed a Clooney-esque sex appeal (that may not be true, but none of you were there so how would you know if I'm lying?) I picked up the check and wondered about meeting up with some of my buddies at another bar. Then she mentioned how her mother volunteered to take her son overnight, so now I'm thinking I just might get myself some much needed ACTION. We get to the parking lot and she starts walking very quickly to her car and says "have a good night, drive safely" and shuts her car door before I can say anything. It was like a horror movie and she was trying to escape from the psycho killer. I watched her drive away and I tried to catch my breath (I was trying to keep up with her when she was walking fast and got a little winded) I couldn't believe that I got NOTHING except the pleasure of boring conversation and paying for a dinner that I didn't even need to have, though the Prime Rib was excellent. (I assume you don't need to hear about the porn I went home and watched after that date, so I'll just end that story right there)

Then last week, a girl I grew up with who has lived in LA for the last 17 years came back home to visit for a week. [background: I always had a crush on her when we were growing up, but nothing ever happened, then we re-connected on FaceBook (I know, I might be gay) a year ago. She was home for the holidays last winter and we hung out a lot and fooled around a little on my couch after a night of drinking, but didn't seal the deal.] So now she's back, and we go out for drinks. It's getting late and for some reason, I'm not feeling the physical attraction to her anymore, she looks the same, but for some reason, I was more interested in going to bed and getting some sleep since I had to work in the morning. So she drove me home around 1:30 (she had picked me up earlier) and we were chatting in the car in my driveway. I am exhausted, but I'm getting the feeling that she maybe willing to come inside and seal the deal. But she wont' stop yapping about stupid stuff (it must have been stupid because I honestly can't remember any of it) So I decided, screw it, I'm going in and going to bed. So I open the car door to get out and she says "oh c'mon give me lovin"and puts her out for a hug, so I give her the hug and she immediately starts making out with me. It took 1 second for me to lose interest in sleeping and become ready for sexy time. After the debacle of that Match.com date the week before, I was ready to Rock-n-Roll!!! I reached over and turned the ignition off and said "let's go inside" and then she says "no, you have to get up for work in about 4 or 5 hours, I'll come over tomorrow night" I was like "NO! Really, it's ok, I don't need sleep" She giggled and says "you're too much, I'm not going inside, but I do want to kiss you some more". So she goes to grab my face and pull me in for more kissing when I noticed something horribly wrong: you see, she had on a tank-top shirt, and when she lifted her arms to pull my face in for the kiss, I saw......... arm pit hair. Not stubble..... arm pit hair. Not one strangly hair....... arm pit hair. I saw arm pit hair. I've never been so turned off so quickly in all my life. She's kissing me, but now I'm just sitting there in complete shock. I closed my eyes.... and all I could see was the image of that arm pit hair. I tried not to think about it, but it was no use. I knew that arm pit hair was there. I kept my hands down around her hips the whole time. Finally, she stopped kissing and said "ok, you better get going before I end up going inside with you". I couldn't open that car door fast enough. She said "so, you'll be home tomorrow night? I"ll call you" And I said "Yeah, I'll be hair.... er... I mean here". She drove away and I ran inside almost threw up. I didn't answer the phone the next night, then the day after I told her I came home and passed out early. She's back in LA now with her arm pit hair.

So I've had a rough couple weeks, but prospects on the horizon are good. I have a lunch date with a new girl from Match on Friday. And next week I go to an annual work conference in New Orleans and I came close to hooking up with one of the presenters at the conference last year and she texted me this week that she's excited to see me next week in New Orleans. Keep your fingers crossed that I dont' run into anymore female arm pit hair.

Nice. That's what we need around here.

 

[guru_007]

 

[YSR]

We fired our receptionist yesterday so I'm playing receptionist today. It's 9:17 and I've already reached the end of the Internet. Halp.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I would have considered slamming my johnson in the car door after the first date. You have a great constitution.

 

[Radio Free Homer]

We fired our receptionist yesterday so I'm playing receptionist today. It's 9:17 and I've already reached the end of the Internet. Halp.

This'll be good for 10 minutes or so. Man, if I had a nickel for every time I broke that promise...http://catalogliving.tumblr.com/

 

[That Little Voice]

I for one would like to hear which porn you used, Zooks.

Keep fighting the good fight GB.

 

[Radio Free Homer]

So last night I thought I was going to get to sleep at a reasonable hour and possibly have a productive day today. So I'm in bed around 2ish and was approaching full sleep by 3ish when some jackhole riding an insanely loud motorcycle goes tearing up the driveway past my open window. It sounded like the gawt damned Germans were attacking. I fought to get back to happyland, but to no avail. Up all night.

Pissed!

 

[wadegarrett]

singer