GM's thread about nothing (44 Viewers)

[Bob Sacamano]

Somehow Alex Smith being on tv last night got me laid tonight. Not sure I completely understand how those dots connected.

####### #######

 

[Bob Sacamano]

"So, last week I was beating up this woman on the street when some little kid walked past me licking an ice cream cone. I knocked it out of his hands, and then I proceeded to point at him and laugh as he broke into tears. Some playmate came by and said she thought I had a really great laugh, so we spent the afternoon, evening, most of the night and the entire next day having hot monkey sex. I lost consciousness at one point, but when her friend started rubbing her naked orbs of goodness all over my abdomen, I got back into the game. I don't know what I'm going to do, though. I really liked their other friend, but she seemed so distant while I was smacking her on the ###. Help me FFA. You're my only hope."

 

[Disco Stu]

"So, last week I was beating up this woman on the street when some little kid walked past me licking an ice cream cone. I knocked it out of his hands, and then I proceeded to point at him and laugh as he broke into tears. Some playmate came by and said she thought I had a really great laugh, so we spent the afternoon, evening, most of the night and the entire next day having hot monkey sex. I lost consciousness at one point, but when her friend started rubbing her naked orbs of goodness all over my abdomen, I got back into the game. I don't know what I'm going to do, though. I really liked their other friend, but she seemed so distant while I was smacking her on the ###. Help me FFA. You're my only hope."

WTF?I like ice cream.

 

[Frostillicus]

I have decided to slam the beer and go to sleep, but Tivo Bikini Frankenstein.

Win win win.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I have decided to slam the beer and go to sleep, but Tivo Bikini Frankenstein. Win win win.

Have a good one, Frots.

 

[Tremendous Upside]

I have decided to slam the beer and go to sleep, but Tivo Bikini Frankenstein. Win win win.

Congrats on the Twins clinching the Central GB

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I have decided to slam the beer and go to sleep, but Tivo Bikini Frankenstein. Win win win.

Have a good one, Frots.

FROST.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

earlier, I was amazed that YSR was posting immediately following a car accident, but then I realized that I'm in here reading and posting while on a plane headed to Australia to celebrate my honeymoon.

Be sure to check in mid-coitus.

 

[YSR]

Guys, it wasn't like I was sitting in the car immediately post-accident. I was sitting on a curb waiting on my BF and the police to arrive. Smartphones have made me completely ADD so I hopped online.

But the part about my life being spectacularly pathetic still rings true.

The part I neglected to mention was that the accident occurred while I was on my way home from a luncheon with Marcedes Lewis and Sean Considine. I went up to Lewis at the end for a picture and asked him to sign another picture with, "Dear Caroline, sorry the plane ride back from San Diego was so quiet. xoxo, Marcedes".

He got a good laugh out of it, but only signed his name and number.

Then we posed for a picture together and my arm was basically around his waist. I suppose I've gotten into a bad habit of playing slap-### with my BF because when we broke from the picture, we were still joking around and I pretty much spanked him three times. I think I was trying to give the three-pat on the back but he's tall and I'm short and well, yeah, I spanked him.

 

[Billy Costigan Jr]

Guys, it wasn't like I was sitting in the car immediately post-accident. I was sitting on a curb waiting on my BF and the police to arrive. Smartphones have made me completely ADD so I hopped online.

But the part about my life being spectacularly pathetic still rings true.

The part I neglected to mention was that the accident occurred while I was on my way home from a luncheon with Marcedes Lewis and Sean Considine. I went up to Lewis at the end for a picture and asked him to sign another picture with, "Dear Caroline, sorry the plane ride back from San Diego was so quiet. xoxo, Marcedes".

He got a good laugh out of it, but only signed his name and number.

Then we posed for a picture together and my arm was basically around his waist. I suppose I've gotten into a bad habit of playing slap-### with my BF because when we broke from the picture, we were still joking around and I pretty much spanked him three times. I think I was trying to give the three-pat on the back but he's tall and I'm short and well, yeah, I spanked him.

When you call him to hook up, make sure you take pictures of his junk for JAA.

 

[guru_007]

Then we posed for a picture together and my arm was basically around his waist. I suppose I've gotten into a bad habit of playing slap-### with my BF because when we broke from the picture, we were still joking around and I pretty much spanked him three times. I think I was trying to give the three-pat on the back but he's tall and I'm short and well, yeah, I spanked him.

 

[eoMMan]

Guys, it wasn't like I was sitting in the car immediately post-accident. I was sitting on a curb waiting on my BF and the police to arrive. Smartphones have made me completely ADD so I hopped online.

But the part about my life being spectacularly pathetic still rings true.

The part I neglected to mention was that the accident occurred while I was on my way home from a luncheon with Marcedes Lewis and Sean Considine. I went up to Lewis at the end for a picture and asked him to sign another picture with, "Dear Caroline, sorry the plane ride back from San Diego was so quiet. xoxo, Marcedes".

He got a good laugh out of it, but only signed his name and number.

Then we posed for a picture together and my arm was basically around his waist. I suppose I've gotten into a bad habit of playing slap-### with my BF because when we broke from the picture, we were still joking around and I pretty much spanked him three times. I think I was trying to give the three-pat on the back but he's tall and I'm short and well, yeah, I spanked him.

You like 'em big and black?

 

[Running with scissors]

Job interview tomorrow afternoon.

What kinda place? First time I've ever been unemployed, need to hear some positive news.

Contract position for business process analysis. They'll have to blow me away since I'm waiting on news of a team lead position here. Sorry about the joblessness thing. All I can say is try as hard as you can to keep a positive attitude and other empty platitudes like that. I know it's rough.

 

[Running with scissors]

Hi guys, what's up. I've missed you. Life doesn't give you a whole lot of time when you have a 2-year old, a special needs (kind of) baby, and a wife who works from home and just started working again and has to work and deal with both kids on Tuesdays and Thursdays by herself and texts you 83 times per day while you're at your job about everything that sucks and how the baby won't sleep and the kid won't stop coloring on the wall with marker and she can't do anything to stop it because if she's not working she's pumping and the baby won't sleep more than 30 minutes at a time unless you are holding him and when it looks like maybe he will in the bouncy seat the 2 year old runs up to him and says "Hi Baby!" in his face really loud.So I gave her the night off. She's in the basement drinking beer and watching Biggest Loser. I'm upstairs with Benny, who is currently sleeping the bassinet but should wake up any moment. I'm also having a cranberry vodka that is at least 75% vodka. Anyway. Hi guys.

This post should go in the people without kids are selfish thread. (We are.)

 

[YSR]

Guys, it wasn't like I was sitting in the car immediately post-accident. I was sitting on a curb waiting on my BF and the police to arrive. Smartphones have made me completely ADD so I hopped online.

But the part about my life being spectacularly pathetic still rings true.

The part I neglected to mention was that the accident occurred while I was on my way home from a luncheon with Marcedes Lewis and Sean Considine. I went up to Lewis at the end for a picture and asked him to sign another picture with, "Dear Caroline, sorry the plane ride back from San Diego was so quiet. xoxo, Marcedes".

He got a good laugh out of it, but only signed his name and number.

Then we posed for a picture together and my arm was basically around his waist. I suppose I've gotten into a bad habit of playing slap-### with my BF because when we broke from the picture, we were still joking around and I pretty much spanked him three times. I think I was trying to give the three-pat on the back but he's tall and I'm short and well, yeah, I spanked him.

You like 'em big and black?

:( I really shouldn't be allowed in public. I was actually kind of about it.

Also, he signed his jersey number, not his phone number. Just wanted to clear that up.

 

[Running with scissors]

Mr. krista4 assures me that it is actually OK to invite every person we know in Memphis over for a crab/shrimp/crayfish boil and that he can handle all that cooking. I don't see any way this could possibly go wrong.

I have several aunts, uncles, and cousins in Memphis, so I count.

Everyone is welcome! Carpetbaggers are encouraged, too!

So we're not mad at Stu anymore?

 

[jplvr]

Sup.

Just wanted to check in in probably the only thread that's any good on FBGs these days.

Sup!

How's it going? You said your company turned into crap? Economy do you in?You still in Houston?

That was the company in Sweden... Economy didn't do it, well, maybe kind of, the financial backer decided to roll his Audi S8 about 5,000 times when the road turned, and he didn't.Still in Houston, but I'm getting itchy to move...

We're moving to Belize when I check my numbers in the morning.

 

[eoMMan]

Hi guys, what's up. I've missed you. Life doesn't give you a whole lot of time when you have a 2-year old, a special needs (kind of) baby, and a wife who works from home and just started working again and has to work and deal with both kids on Tuesdays and Thursdays by herself and texts you 83 times per day while you're at your job about everything that sucks and how the baby won't sleep and the kid won't stop coloring on the wall with marker and she can't do anything to stop it because if she's not working she's pumping and the baby won't sleep more than 30 minutes at a time unless you are holding him and when it looks like maybe he will in the bouncy seat the 2 year old runs up to him and says "Hi Baby!" in his face really loud.So I gave her the night off. She's in the basement drinking beer and watching Biggest Loser. I'm upstairs with Benny, who is currently sleeping the bassinet but should wake up any moment. I'm also having a cranberry vodka that is at least 75% vodka. Anyway. Hi guys.

This post should go in the people without kids are selfish thread. (We are.)

But who exactly are we selfish to? Our unborn children that we choose not to have? Frost might have had a rough night but I'm sure he has a bunch of nice family times or moments.

 

[Running with scissors]

Hi guys, what's up. I've missed you. Life doesn't give you a whole lot of time when you have a 2-year old, a special needs (kind of) baby, and a wife who works from home and just started working again and has to work and deal with both kids on Tuesdays and Thursdays by herself and texts you 83 times per day while you're at your job about everything that sucks and how the baby won't sleep and the kid won't stop coloring on the wall with marker and she can't do anything to stop it because if she's not working she's pumping and the baby won't sleep more than 30 minutes at a time unless you are holding him and when it looks like maybe he will in the bouncy seat the 2 year old runs up to him and says "Hi Baby!" in his face really loud.So I gave her the night off. She's in the basement drinking beer and watching Biggest Loser. I'm upstairs with Benny, who is currently sleeping the bassinet but should wake up any moment. I'm also having a cranberry vodka that is at least 75% vodka. Anyway. Hi guys.

This post should go in the people without kids are selfish thread. (We are.)

But who exactly are we selfish to? Our unborn children that we choose not to have? Frost might have had a rough night but I'm sure he has a bunch of nice family times or moments.

Everybody's selfish.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Hi guys, what's up. I've missed you. Life doesn't give you a whole lot of time when you have a 2-year old, a special needs (kind of) baby, and a wife who works from home and just started working again and has to work and deal with both kids on Tuesdays and Thursdays by herself and texts you 83 times per day while you're at your job about everything that sucks and how the baby won't sleep and the kid won't stop coloring on the wall with marker and she can't do anything to stop it because if she's not working she's pumping and the baby won't sleep more than 30 minutes at a time unless you are holding him and when it looks like maybe he will in the bouncy seat the 2 year old runs up to him and says "Hi Baby!" in his face really loud.So I gave her the night off. She's in the basement drinking beer and watching Biggest Loser. I'm upstairs with Benny, who is currently sleeping the bassinet but should wake up any moment. I'm also having a cranberry vodka that is at least 75% vodka. Anyway. Hi guys.

Hey gb.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Bummer.

She's downstairs, I'm upstairs. Downstairs is where we have HDTV, which is where we have the HD- Direct TV box, so that's where we get HBOZHD, which is where I"ve seen such classics as "Bikini Frankenstein", "Alien Sex Files 3", and "Cleavagefield", none of which are available on the upstairs box. I was going to complain about that, which is why I typed the words that come before these words, but I just realized I have a computer with internet access so never mind.

2 things:

#1) I am exhausted and should be asleep right now, but I find myself obsessed with the goings-on in the Frosty house.

#2) Bikini Frankenstein was excellent. I was watching Alien Sex Files 3 the other night and started to rub one out, however, my dog was staring me with a disapproving look on his pathetic face. He was in front of the window and the way the street light outside reflected through the window, it gave the appearance of a halo over the dog's head. There was no way I could rub one out with the K-9 Jesus staring me down.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

earlier, I was amazed that YSR was posting immediately following a car accident, but then I realized that I'm in here reading and posting while on a plane headed to Australia to celebrate my honeymoon.

Tat, is that you?

 

[jplvr]

Mr. krista4 assures me that it is actually OK to invite every person we know in Memphis over for a crab/shrimp/crayfish boil and that he can handle all that cooking. I don't see any way this could possibly go wrong.

This is the easiest big party cooking task to pull off... provided you know how to do it in the first place. If the crowd is way large, you just add 1/3 of the original spices to the mix after the 1st batch.I think it's 1/3. Hell, put one half back in there and call people pansies if they complain.

Good plan.He definitely knows how to cook this stuff, and like you he said it would be the easiest thing to cook for a large group. I started to think it sucks that he will be cooking all the time and not get to entertain and see people, but then I remembered he doesn't like people anyway.

When I do a craWfish or shrimp boil, we usually congregate around the pot anyway. Just position the alcohol where you want the crowd.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

Mr. krista4 assures me that it is actually OK to invite every person we know in Memphis over for a crab/shrimp/crayfish boil and that he can handle all that cooking. I don't see any way this could possibly go wrong.

This is the easiest big party cooking task to pull off... provided you know how to do it in the first place. If the crowd is way large, you just add 1/3 of the original spices to the mix after the 1st batch.I think it's 1/3. Hell, put one half back in there and call people pansies if they complain.

Good plan.He definitely knows how to cook this stuff, and like you he said it would be the easiest thing to cook for a large group. I started to think it sucks that he will be cooking all the time and not get to entertain and see people, but then I remembered he doesn't like people anyway.

When I do a craWfish or shrimp boil, we usually congregate around the pot anyway. Just position the alcohol where you want the crowd.

If it moves, I'm going to have alcohol everywhere. When should I expect the crowd?

 

[Kendall]

What is a politle way to go about telling a woman that her lady parts... smell... not so good?

Hop in the shower together as part of your foreplay and then ask her if you can wash her lady parts.

If this happens before every time do you think she'll notice?

 

[Kendall]

kendall: "Sure, I'll go down. But first let me get suited up"

 

[Kendall]

Congrats Bfred....oh and announced in the pregnancy thread....but we've got twins on the way

That's outstanding. I'd love to have twins. Good for you.

Isn't that every guy's dream?

I don't know how well I would handle identical looks of disappointment.

At first I snickered when I read bostonfred's post. Then some light giggling as a few other people laughed, but for some reason the fact that GM appears to be full on knee-slapping-sucking-air-guffawing at this comment made me lose it at my office. I'm ######ed.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I'd go with a fruit roll up dental dam.

 

[Kendall]

I think my back is slowly breaking.

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

earlier, I was amazed that YSR was posting immediately following a car accident, but then I realized that I'm in here reading and posting while on a plane headed to Australia to celebrate my honeymoon.

Congrats Rud I'd love to hear about your experience when you get back as we're now leaning towards Australia mid-August next year.

 

[Sea Ropes]

earlier, I was amazed that YSR was posting immediately following a car accident, but then I realized that I'm in here reading and posting while on a plane headed to Australia to celebrate my honeymoon.

Congrats Rud I'd love to hear about your experience when you get back as we're now leaning towards Australia mid-August next year.

Someone married him???j/k congrats, mister.

 

[Ignoramus]

Just had this conversation with my wife.[News talking about the Bears upcoming game on Monday]Wife: Do the Bears play on Sunday?Me: This upcoming Sunday?Wife: YeahMe: No, they play on MondayWife: So they play on Monday Night Football? In her defense, she is 36 weeks pregnant, and has been on bedrest for the last two weeks so she is getting cabin fever.

Mrs. Ignoramus doesn't have the same defense...We're watching the Texans game and McNabb gets hit just as he's making a throw.Her: Does it still count as a sack if the quarterback has already thrown it?

 

[desert rose]

One of my students just informed me that she has the Chicken Pox.

She rolled up her pant leg to prove that she indeed had open sores.

When I asked her if she was still contagious, she said her doctor didn't tell her she had to stay home.

So I called the nursing office to ask how long a person is contagious with the Chicken Pox.

They had me send her over, STAT!

I already had the Chicken Pox, but I'm starting to feel itchy.

 

[YSR]

I'm going to an acupuncturist for the first time ever today. Anyone been? What can I expect?

 

[heckmanm]

I'm going to an acupuncturist for the first time ever today. Anyone been? What can I expect?

If you drink water afterwards, it will spew from your body like a sprinkler.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I'm going to an acupuncturist for the first time ever today. Anyone been? What can I expect?

An attempt to cure your ### slapping habit?

 

[eoMMan]

One of my students just informed me that she has the Chicken Pox. She rolled up her pant leg to prove that she indeed had open sores. When I asked her if she was still contagious, she said her doctor didn't tell her she had to stay home. So I called the nursing office to ask how long a person is contagious with the Chicken Pox. They had me send her over, STAT! I already had the Chicken Pox, but I'm starting to feel itchy.

Maybe you have shingles.

 

[Early_10]

What is a politle way to go about telling a woman that her lady parts... smell... not so good?

I was replying to this yesterday when my power went. Next time you're out for drinks, order her a vinegar and water.

 

[Early_10]

And you're afraid of flying.

At least they don't let her drive the plane. Sorry. Hope you're all fine.

 

[Early_10]

Our putting green - http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c381/Early_10/IMG_1037.jpg



FOUR feet of water.

imagine tomorrow when all that #### freezes

There's a truck cap washed up in my yard. We don't even own a truck.

 

[YSR]

I'm going to an acupuncturist for the first time ever today. Anyone been? What can I expect?

An attempt to cure your ### slapping habit?

At this point, I would just consider that a bonus.

 

[Early_10]

Is this still the trendy place to announce pregnancies?

Congrats!

Thank you. We'd been trying for a while, and we made it past the three month mark, so this is pretty exciting. We're far enough into our thirties that this may be a one and done situation. I stayed up really late last night, woke up in the middle of the night, then got up again early just to celebrate/practice.

Well done.

 

[Early_10]

Is this still the trendy place to announce pregnancies?

Congrats!

Thank you. We'd been trying for a while, and we made it past the three month mark, so this is pretty exciting. We're far enough into our thirties that this may be a one and done situation. I stayed up really late last night, woke up in the middle of the night, then got up again early just to celebrate/practice.

Bah - I'm having #2 months after I turned 40. I'm going to be the old dad at graduation...

My mom was 38 when I made her a grandmother. No wonder she was pissed.

 

[Kendall]

What is a politle way to go about telling a woman that her lady parts... smell... not so good?

I was replying to this yesterday when my power went. Next time you're out for drinks, order her a vinegar and water.

If this goes anywhere I'm going to have to figure out how to work this in.

 

[krista4]

I'm going to an acupuncturist for the first time ever today. Anyone been? What can I expect?

I've done it twice. Loved it, though the second time didn't seem to work as well.Doesn't hurt at all to have the needles put in. Then it feels very good, like something is streaming out of your veins (OK, that doesn't sound like it would feel good, but it did). Warning: it makes you feel very cold while you're in the midst of it.

 

[Kendall]

I'm going to an acupuncturist for the first time ever today. Anyone been? What can I expect?

I've done it twice. Loved it, though the second time didn't seem to work as well.Doesn't hurt at all to have the needles put in. Then it feels very good, like something is streaming out of your veins (OK, that doesn't sound like it would feel good, but it did). Warning: it makes you feel very cold while you're in the midst of it.

What is it supposed to do exactly?

 

[Early_10]

Congrats Bfred....oh and announced in the pregnancy thread....but we've got twins on the way

That's outstanding. I'd love to have twins. Good for you.

Isn't that every guy's dream?

I don't know how well I would handle identical looks of disappointment.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

I'm going to an acupuncturist for the first time ever today. Anyone been? What can I expect?

An attempt to cure your ### slapping habit?

At this point, I would just consider that a bonus.

I'm just needlin' you.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

That was... awful.

 

[Early_10]

That was... awful.

EWxpect nothing less from such a pri...I better cook while we have power.