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GM's thread about nothing (23 Viewers)

charvik turned me to Svedka a long time ago. Easily the best cheap vodka there is IMO. $20 for the big bottle and it's decent enough to drink on the rocks (rather have Tito's, Goose, etc. for that, but it's fine).

***Tito's also a charv selection and way better than Goose, Belvedere, Ciroq, etc.

I've also gotten most of my friends on Svedka now for their well vodka. I see it everywhere I go now.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Happy New Year. I'll be on the road and out of town through the weekend and while I might check in for a nightly read, I rarely post from the phone.

 
Gadzooks said:
Mental note: Invite Krista to all parties in 2011.
Click to expand...
Dude, Krista only behaves like that at dream parties. At actual, corporeal parties she's too busy apologizing for her highly-unstable, murderously handsome husband and his menacing demonstrations of the proper way to hone and sharpen the vast array of knives that he always has with him for reasons he doesn't care to explain.
 
Oliver Humanzee said:
Gadzooks said:
Mental note: Invite Krista to all parties in 2011.
Click to expand...
Dude, Krista only behaves like that at dream parties. At actual, corporeal parties she's too busy apologizing for her highly-unstable, murderously handsome husband and his menacing demonstrations of the proper way to hone and sharpen the vast array of knives that he always has with him for reasons he doesn't care to explain.
Click to expand...
Do you want to know what else Krista does during dream parties?
 
bostonfred said:
Oliver Humanzee said:
Gadzooks said:
Mental note: Invite Krista to all parties in 2011.
Click to expand...
Dude, Krista only behaves like that at dream parties. At actual, corporeal parties she's too busy apologizing for her highly-unstable, murderously handsome husband and his menacing demonstrations of the proper way to hone and sharpen the vast array of knives that he always has with him for reasons he doesn't care to explain.
Click to expand...
Do you want to know what else Krista does during dream parties?
Click to expand...
In whose dream? The last dream party we went to was attended by dozens of Ozzie Guillens who could only communicate via text and who wouldn't let us into the sub-basement of Wintersville Elementary school which is where the booze was. Though, when one received an Ozzie-text one also heard the Ozzie text, which didn't seem odd to me because well, once you are confronted with a mess of Ozzie clones, nothing seems that strange. So: Krista got a text from one of the Ozzies that said ja ja ja ja ja ja but as she opened it, the ja]s fell off and rolled in all directions. The Ozzies let us know that we wouldn't be getting any booze until each ja was found. We get down on our knees amid the Ozzies' stirrups and cleats (they were in uniform) to look for ja's and I'm pissed because I don't even like the Sox and I can't find anything.

Then an Ozzie steps on Krista's hand--now covered in a sequined fingerless glove--which produces a howl from Krista and lots of furious texting from the Ozzies. A Doctor-Ozzie texts that the glove must now be worn at all times "for the infections", and that her hand must never move at night. I am prepared to be sympathetic but Krista shrugs it off, explaining that it is still better than being a Cubs fan. I awoke.

 
Oliver Humanzee said:
Gadzooks said:
Mental note: Invite Krista to all parties in 2011.
Click to expand...
Dude, Krista only behaves like that at dream parties. At actual, corporeal parties she's too busy apologizing for her highly-unstable, murderously handsome husband and his menacing demonstrations of the proper way to hone and sharpen the vast array of knives that he always has with him for reasons he doesn't care to explain.
Click to expand...
:unsure: Mental note: Un-invite Krista to all parties in 2011.

 
OK, so apparently 47 is the age at which I can no longer have a big greasy patty melt, pub chips and a few beers. :unsure:

Apologies to Mrs. heckmanm for the, um, turbulence, overnight.

 
Oliver Humanzee said:
bostonfred said:
Oliver Humanzee said:
Gadzooks said:
Mental note: Invite Krista to all parties in 2011.
Click to expand...
Dude, Krista only behaves like that at dream parties. At actual, corporeal parties she's too busy apologizing for her highly-unstable, murderously handsome husband and his menacing demonstrations of the proper way to hone and sharpen the vast array of knives that he always has with him for reasons he doesn't care to explain.
Click to expand...
Do you want to know what else Krista does during dream parties?
Click to expand...
In whose dream? The last dream party we went to was attended by dozens of Ozzie Guillens who could only communicate via text and who wouldn't let us into the sub-basement of Wintersville Elementary school which is where the booze was. Though, when one received an Ozzie-text one also heard the Ozzie text, which didn't seem odd to me because well, once you are confronted with a mess of Ozzie clones, nothing seems that strange. So: Krista got a text from one of the Ozzies that said ja ja ja ja ja ja but as she opened it, the ja]s fell off and rolled in all directions. The Ozzies let us know that we wouldn't be getting any booze until each ja was found. We get down on our knees amid the Ozzies' stirrups and cleats (they were in uniform) to look for ja's and I'm pissed because I don't even like the Sox and I can't find anything.

Then an Ozzie steps on Krista's hand--now covered in a sequined fingerless glove--which produces a howl from Krista and lots of furious texting from the Ozzies. A Doctor-Ozzie texts that the glove must now be worn at all times "for the infections", and that her hand must never move at night. I am prepared to be sympathetic but Krista shrugs it off, explaining that it is still better than being a Cubs fan. I awoke.
Click to expand...
holy #### :unsure:
 
Bonzai said:
Drifter said:
Bonzai said:
Hey guys, I #### my pants last night. Anybody have any experience with this? Kinda freaked out.
Click to expand...
Full on release of the hounds or just a shart?
Click to expand...
Full on. In the post office parking lot.
Click to expand...
Unfortunate. I very nearly #### myself last year while downtown. I had to make an emergency executive decision to destroy the entryway to a shop. Still feel a bit bad about that....
 
Oliver Humanzee said:
bostonfred said:
Oliver Humanzee said:
Gadzooks said:
Mental note: Invite Krista to all parties in 2011.
Click to expand...
Dude, Krista only behaves like that at dream parties. At actual, corporeal parties she's too busy apologizing for her highly-unstable, murderously handsome husband and his menacing demonstrations of the proper way to hone and sharpen the vast array of knives that he always has with him for reasons he doesn't care to explain.
Click to expand...
Do you want to know what else Krista does during dream parties?
Click to expand...
In whose dream? The last dream party we went to was attended by dozens of Ozzie Guillens who could only communicate via text and who wouldn't let us into the sub-basement of Wintersville Elementary school which is where the booze was. Though, when one received an Ozzie-text one also heard the Ozzie text, which didn't seem odd to me because well, once you are confronted with a mess of Ozzie clones, nothing seems that strange. So: Krista got a text from one of the Ozzies that said ja ja ja ja ja ja but as she opened it, the ja]s fell off and rolled in all directions. The Ozzies let us know that we wouldn't be getting any booze until each ja was found. We get down on our knees amid the Ozzies' stirrups and cleats (they were in uniform) to look for ja's and I'm pissed because I don't even like the Sox and I can't find anything.

Then an Ozzie steps on Krista's hand--now covered in a sequined fingerless glove--which produces a howl from Krista and lots of furious texting from the Ozzies. A Doctor-Ozzie texts that the glove must now be worn at all times "for the infections", and that her hand must never move at night. I am prepared to be sympathetic but Krista shrugs it off, explaining that it is still better than being a Cubs fan. I awoke.
Click to expand...
that is - word for word - exactly what i was going to say. this is freaking me out. have you had the one where dream krista walks out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel, but when she drops the towel, she's got a #####, and then you look up and she's got Tom Brady's face? And then you go on to have dream babies with Tom Brady and you don't want to wake up but then your wife wakes you up and says stop yelling Tom it's so creepy and she starts kidding with you about a divorce again? That's my favorite Krista dream, and she doesn't even appear in it. I forgot to mention that part. It was always Tom in the towel.
 
bostonfred said:
Oliver Humanzee said:
bostonfred said:
Oliver Humanzee said:
Gadzooks said:
Mental note: Invite Krista to all parties in 2011.
Click to expand...
Dude, Krista only behaves like that at dream parties. At actual, corporeal parties she's too busy apologizing for her highly-unstable, murderously handsome husband and his menacing demonstrations of the proper way to hone and sharpen the vast array of knives that he always has with him for reasons he doesn't care to explain.
Click to expand...
Do you want to know what else Krista does during dream parties?
Click to expand...
In whose dream? The last dream party we went to was attended by dozens of Ozzie Guillens who could only communicate via text and who wouldn't let us into the sub-basement of Wintersville Elementary school which is where the booze was. Though, when one received an Ozzie-text one also heard the Ozzie text, which didn't seem odd to me because well, once you are confronted with a mess of Ozzie clones, nothing seems that strange. So: Krista got a text from one of the Ozzies that said ja ja ja ja ja ja but as she opened it, the ja]s fell off and rolled in all directions. The Ozzies let us know that we wouldn't be getting any booze until each ja was found. We get down on our knees amid the Ozzies' stirrups and cleats (they were in uniform) to look for ja's and I'm pissed because I don't even like the Sox and I can't find anything.

Then an Ozzie steps on Krista's hand--now covered in a sequined fingerless glove--which produces a howl from Krista and lots of furious texting from the Ozzies. A Doctor-Ozzie texts that the glove must now be worn at all times "for the infections", and that her hand must never move at night. I am prepared to be sympathetic but Krista shrugs it off, explaining that it is still better than being a Cubs fan. I awoke.
Click to expand...
that is - word for word - exactly what i was going to say. this is freaking me out. have you had the one where dream krista walks out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel, but when she drops the towel, she's got a #####, and then you look up and she's got Tom Brady's face? And then you go on to have dream babies with Tom Brady and you don't want to wake up but then your wife wakes you up and says stop yelling Tom it's so creepy and she starts kidding with you about a divorce again? That's my favorite Krista dream, and she doesn't even appear in it. I forgot to mention that part. It was always Tom in the towel.
Click to expand...
If you replace "Tom Brady" with "Trent Dilfer", I've had the same dream. Except at the end, instead of Dilfer, it ends up being St. Louis Bob in the towel.
 
Uncle Owen said:
Bonzai said:
Drifter said:
Bonzai said:
Hey guys, I #### my pants last night. Anybody have any experience with this? Kinda freaked out.
Click to expand...
Full on release of the hounds or just a shart?
Click to expand...
Full on. In the post office parking lot.
Click to expand...
So, like, you couldn't wait? Or was it some sort of surprise loss of control?
Click to expand...
Wasn't a total surprise.Not sure where to start, but I'd been feeling a bit sick the last few days. Went on a massive bender over the weekend and haven't felt right since. Skip to last night. Had Thai food with the lady-friend. I felt it coming on about halfway through dinner. She asked me to come up to her place after dinner, but I declined knowing what was about to happen. It's literally like a 2 or 3 mile drive home. I get half way there and the launch sequence got activated. Never been through anything like it. I whipped it into the post office parking lot instinctively. Got out and scanned the area for a safe place. There were some shrubs nearby, a tree maybe I could hide behind. Behind my car? Totally panicking at this point. There's traffic everywhere, people walking across the street looking over at me. I timidly wave to them as I explode into my jeans standing there in the post office parking lot. An awful, runny, Tahi food ####. I stand there for a few seconds in disbelief. Now what the #### am I supposed to do? Jump back into my car? Call 911? I couldn't help but laugh. I try to get back into my car without my ### touching the seat, but it wasn't happening. Finally I just plop down in my own #### and race home. Got home and tidied up. My bathroom looked like some type of weird crime scene wear the victim bled ####. So, am I dying? Please advice.
 
Parents gave me a ninja for xmas. Is this the thread where you guys went on about this thing a few months ago? I did a search and nothing relevant came up with ninja in the subject title

 
Bonzai said:
Uncle Owen said:
Bonzai said:
Drifter said:
Bonzai said:
Hey guys, I #### my pants last night. Anybody have any experience with this? Kinda freaked out.
Click to expand...
Full on release of the hounds or just a shart?
Click to expand...
Full on. In the post office parking lot.
Click to expand...
So, like, you couldn't wait? Or was it some sort of surprise loss of control?
Click to expand...
Wasn't a total surprise.Not sure where to start, but I'd been feeling a bit sick the last few days. Went on a massive bender over the weekend and haven't felt right since. Skip to last night. Had Thai food with the lady-friend. I felt it coming on about halfway through dinner. She asked me to come up to her place after dinner, but I declined knowing what was about to happen. It's literally like a 2 or 3 mile drive home. I get half way there and the launch sequence got activated. Never been through anything like it. I whipped it into the post office parking lot instinctively. Got out and scanned the area for a safe place. There were some shrubs nearby, a tree maybe I could hide behind. Behind my car? Totally panicking at this point. There's traffic everywhere, people walking across the street looking over at me. I timidly wave to them as I explode into my jeans standing there in the post office parking lot. An awful, runny, Tahi food ####. I stand there for a few seconds in disbelief. Now what the #### am I supposed to do? Jump back into my car? Call 911? I couldn't help but laugh. I try to get back into my car without my ### touching the seat, but it wasn't happening. Finally I just plop down in my own #### and race home. Got home and tidied up. My bathroom looked like some type of weird crime scene wear the victim bled ####. So, am I dying? Please advice.
Click to expand...
:pickle: :popcorn: :lmao: Hey, #### happens.
 
Gadzooks said:
bostonfred said:
that is - word for word - exactly what i was going to say. this is freaking me out. have you had the one where dream krista walks out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a towel, but when she drops the towel, she's got a #####, and then you look up and she's got Tom Brady's face? And then you go on to have dream babies with Tom Brady and you don't want to wake up but then your wife wakes you up and says stop yelling Tom it's so creepy and she starts kidding with you about a divorce again? That's my favorite Krista dream, and she doesn't even appear in it. I forgot to mention that part. It was always Tom in the towel.
Click to expand...
If you replace "Tom Brady" with "Trent Dilfer", I've had the same dream. Except at the end, instead of Dilfer, it ends up being St. Louis Bob in the towel.
Click to expand...
If you included the naked women throwing pickles while I'm standing on a pyramid wearing Sun God robes, I've had that exact same dream too.Oh... and :thumbup: everyone. Sup?
 
YSR said:
Had a really bizarre dream last night and I'm pretty sure all of you were in it. We were at my grandmother's house on top of a mountain in Tennessee (where I went to college). Kind of a GM's thread house party. The only things I really recall are:GM and Bentley (and a third guy) left to go for a ride and came back visibly shaken. It's unclear if it was due to it being a mountain or if there were bad weather conditions but they apparently kept crossing the medians. Except GM referred to them as "mediums", which seemed odd.Gadzooks proceeded to turn on the stereo in every room, each of which was playing a different style of music. Made for something of a confusing house party.There was an outdoor swimming pool that had not been used in years and at first glance was a breeding ground for all kinds of bacteria. Krista was jumping up and down on the diving board and basically gave the finger to my warnings about the pool. In she went and in the rest of you went and strangely, the pool cleared up and it seemed to be a nice time.Oh, and Krista and Norville made out in their underwear (sorry Oliver H.)
Click to expand...
:thumbup:
 
Bonzai said:
Uncle Owen said:
Bonzai said:
Drifter said:
Bonzai said:
Hey guys, I #### my pants last night. Anybody have any experience with this? Kinda freaked out.
Click to expand...
Full on release of the hounds or just a shart?
Click to expand...
Full on. In the post office parking lot.
Click to expand...
So, like, you couldn't wait? Or was it some sort of surprise loss of control?
Click to expand...
Wasn't a total surprise.Not sure where to start, but I'd been feeling a bit sick the last few days. Went on a massive bender over the weekend and haven't felt right since. Skip to last night. Had Thai food with the lady-friend. I felt it coming on about halfway through dinner. She asked me to come up to her place after dinner, but I declined knowing what was about to happen. It's literally like a 2 or 3 mile drive home. I get half way there and the launch sequence got activated. Never been through anything like it. I whipped it into the post office parking lot instinctively. Got out and scanned the area for a safe place. There were some shrubs nearby, a tree maybe I could hide behind. Behind my car? Totally panicking at this point. There's traffic everywhere, people walking across the street looking over at me. I timidly wave to them as I explode into my jeans standing there in the post office parking lot. An awful, runny, Tahi food ####. I stand there for a few seconds in disbelief. Now what the #### am I supposed to do? Jump back into my car? Call 911? I couldn't help but laugh. I try to get back into my car without my ### touching the seat, but it wasn't happening. Finally I just plop down in my own #### and race home. Got home and tidied up. My bathroom looked like some type of weird crime scene wear the victim bled ####. So, am I dying? Please advice.
Click to expand...
:thumbup: :goodposting: :shock: Next time I #### my pants, I will yell "BONZAI" in your honor.
 
Uncle Owen said:
Curious about a couple of things. Clothes salvageable? Did it get in your car?
Click to expand...
Haven't checked out the car yet. I didn't get any my boots, so I hope all is good.Not sure if my jeans are salvageable. I haven't done laundry in about three weeks, so I wasn't wearing underwear.
 
Bonzai said:
Lance Uppercut said:
It happens to the best of us, Bonzai. I've told my "SORRY ARBY'S!" story on here before. Just wash up and keep your head held high. :confused:
Click to expand...
Thanks, GB. I'd love a link to that one if possible.
Click to expand...
Pretty much the same as yours. Hadn't been feeling well, drove home and all of a sudden it was GAME TIME. I had about 10 seconds of "damn, I don't feel well" until it had all gone very, VERY wrong. I pulled into an Arby's, waddled into the bathroom and cleaned up as best I could with TP. Threw my loaded boxers in the trash. Have never been even in that parking lot of that place since.
 
Lance Uppercut said:
Bonzai said:
Lance Uppercut said:
It happens to the best of us, Bonzai. I've told my "SORRY ARBY'S!" story on here before. Just wash up and keep your head held high. :confused:
Click to expand...
Thanks, GB. I'd love a link to that one if possible.
Click to expand...
Pretty much the same as yours. Hadn't been feeling well, drove home and all of a sudden it was GAME TIME. I had about 10 seconds of "damn, I don't feel well" until it had all gone very, VERY wrong. I pulled into an Arby's, waddled into the bathroom and cleaned up as best I could with TP. Threw my loaded boxers in the trash. Have never been even in that parking lot of that place since.
Click to expand...
The Arby's folks probably didn't even bat an eye at that."Hey, Steve! Get the mop!"
 
Maybe. But their curly fries aren't good enough for me to risk the "HEY, ITS THE GUY WHO #### HIS PANTS! GET HIM!" scenario that I have worked out in my head.

 
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