'-fish- said:
yay. she got hired at the hospital where she interviewed. now she doesn't have to move!I'd ask someone to kill me, but that's probably going to take care of itself.
OK, here's the plan.I fly out to Seattle or whatever rain-soaked coniferous forest you live in, and we finagle a plan to get me and her in the same bar. I proceed to get her sh#thammered with my vast knowledge of shots that taste like candy but will knock an Irishman on his ###, all the while being the sensitive shoulder to cry on. The mood will soon lighten up and I will be charming and funny and devastatingly handsome (as the booze really kicks in) and get her to forget about you for a while. I'll lament the "fact" that I can never find a girl who really wants a committed, loving relationship and she will fall for my charms harder than Meghan is falling for Tanner. We will then proceed to her place and I'll do horrendously vile things to her. And her to herself.

I will even stay overnight, holding her gently as she falls asleep. I will have her make me breakfast and we can talk all morning...maybe even spend the day together. I will lament the fact that I have to leave town, but let her know that we can keep in constant contact and that I would even be open to moving out there to live with her. We can go to couples counseling and everything.And this, my friend is how we get you off the hook. A clingy stalker-chick like this will never leave you alone as long as she doesn't have another target in sight. If things go as planned, the new target she will fall madly in love with will be Aaron Rudnicki from Chicago, Ilinois.