GM's thread about nothing (34 Viewers)

[Sconch]

I've been very impressed with the parenting stories in here lately. (If I lived close to SLB I'd make sure Cal and Little 'Zooks were best friends) I'm not sure if I should be proud of what Little 'Zooks said tonight when we were getting pizza. We're at the counter waiting for the guy to take our order and in line behind us is a woman holding a somewhat new born baby and had what appeared to be a 3 year old boy next to her. Little 'Zooks then starts the following conversation with these people:

Little 'Zooks: you got a baby. Whats his name?

Woman: Oh, her name is Casandra and she's a girl.

Little 'Zooks: she's a girl because she doesn't have a penis?

Shocked and trying not to laugh, I gave him a stern look and shook my head.

Woman: uh, yeah that's right.

Little 'Zooks: Oh. Well I have a penis and sometimes it sticks to my leg.

Now everyone within hearing distance is laughing. I look at the woman and sheepishly shake my head. Her 3 year old son now jumps in the conversation:

3 year old: (talking to Little 'Zooks) Wow! You must have a big penis.

Little 'Zooks: I guess I do. (then he looks at me) Da, do I have a big penis?

Me: (trying as hard as possible not to laugh) we don't talk about that in public.

Little 'Zooks: we only talk about our penis at home?

Me: (now with everyone around us laughing) Lets just never talk about it again anywhere.

Little 'Zooks: Is penis a bad word?

Me: Just stop saying penis, ok?

Then the guy behind the counter, who is trying his best not to burst out laughing, asks me what I want. I reply "a steak and cheese sub and a small pepperoni penis.. er I mean pizza". I could actually feel my face turning red. The guy behind the counter snorted while trying not to completely laugh in my face. And of course then Little 'Zooks taps me on the leg and says with very serious look on his face: "Da, we're not supposed to say penis when we're in public".

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[Notorious T.R.E.]

IBATB

 

[Sconch]

Ugh.

 

[Fightin Donkey]

OK, PPR league:Marshawn Lynch v WASVictor Cruz @ NOWhatcha got?

Cruz control

I agree with the esteemed Senator from Texas.

I'd go with Lynch.

 

[Fightin Donkey]

Lynch > Cruz

 

[Homer J Simpson]

I apologize for asking for useless fantasy advice...I forgot I had Andre Johnson on IR.

All is well.

 

[Thorn]

The member Thorn cannot receive any new messages

Clean out your box.

That's what I said to my last gf.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

I apologize for asking for useless fantasy advice...I forgot I had Andre Johnson on IR.All is well.

Wait, I should start Johnson, right?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I got a new phone and my contacts got screwed up in the switch over. Any of you dickmittens that have my cell number, please text me so I can save your number. For some reason I do still have Frosty, Stryker and TRE so I don't need your numbers. GM, please verify if I sent you a text a little while ago. If that wasn't you then someone is going to be very confused when they get it.

I'm getting wildly and violently drunk tonight and this phone has a better camera and I want to share it with you.

PBS ran a show called "Sandwiches You Will Like" last night and I was ready to order everybody in here a copy of the DVD.

Then I saw on Amazon it was released in 2002. <_<

I do know that St. Louis was profiled for having some great brain sandwiches. Some lady on there said "This is a great place to get a brain sandwich".

Yeah, that's something I don't like to talk about. It used to be more popular back in the day. I remember the guys on my dad's softball team getting them at the bar after the game. These are calves brains we are talking here. Do you know what I really don't like talking about? Some places serve cat brain sandwiches.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

The member Thorn cannot receive any new messages

Clean out your box.

That's what I said to my last gf.

Me too.

 

[Fightin Donkey]

I apologize for asking for useless fantasy advice...I forgot I had Andre Johnson on IR.All is well.

Wait, I should start Johnson, right?

Yes indeed

 

[Sconch]

I apologize for asking for useless fantasy advice...I forgot I had Andre Johnson on IR.All is well.

Wait, I should start Johnson, right?

yes/no

 

[eoMMan]

Turkey Day winners:

Packers

Cowboys

Upset special - Ravens

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

And so GMTAN, I bid you adieu. Heading to good ol Coon Valley, WI where the beer flows like the Mississippi and the women like their NASCAR like they like their sex; hard and fast, with a lotta rubbin (at least thats what my FIL told me) .

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving! :turkey:

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Scooterguy finally just called me with my reservation for tonight. The best part is Captain Morgan is picking up the tab for all of their customers tonight. I thought I was going to have to be sober during our annual poker game.

 

[YSR]

Three things:

1.) Started rewatching The Wire last night, as Romo's never seen it. I am absolutely giddy at what the next several weeks hold for me.

2.) Going to the hoarders' house tomorrow for Thanksgiving. Was told we'd eat around 4:00. Okay, that's not so bad. Oh, but wait, we're going over there at 9:00 for breakfast and will spend the day there. I've mentioned before that I have about a 15 minute tolerance for my MIL at this point in time. :( The upside, though, is that spending the day there allows us to go to SC Friday morning through Sunday. I think I can, I think I can.

3.) Romo procured mini-bottles for us earlier today, and will be consumed on an as-needed basis tomorrow.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Thanks for making my days fun.

 

[Sconch]

AWESOME NEWS

Every Thanksgiving my wife's grandfather liked to take our family out for an early feast at.........

Hometown Buffet.

He passed away a couple of years ago but grandma likes to keep up the tradition.

My wife just told me "I've got some terrible news for you. Brace yourself. You CAN'T go to Hometown Buffet with us tomorrow. I'm so sorry."

The wife is cooking one small turkey at home and smoking another at the restaurant. The Hometown Buffet outing is going to interfere with the strict timetable concerning picking up the smoked bird and keeping an eye on the oven. I get to take care of it.

:banana:

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Three things:

1.) Started rewatching The Wire last night, as Romo's never seen it. I am absolutely giddy at what the next several weeks hold for me.

2.) Going to the hoarders' house tomorrow for Thanksgiving. Was told we'd eat around 4:00. Okay, that's not so bad. Oh, but wait, we're going over there at 9:00 for breakfast and will spend the day there. I've mentioned before that I have about a 15 minute tolerance for my MIL at this point in time. :( The upside, though, is that spending the day there allows us to go to SC Friday morning through Sunday. I think I can, I think I can.

3.) Romo procured mini-bottles for us earlier today, and will be consumed on an as-needed basis tomorrow.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Thanks for making my days fun.

GLGB. We're having 46 people over tomorrow or about 20% of my family.

AWESOME NEWS

Every Thanksgiving my wife's grandfather liked to take our family out for an early feast at.........

Hometown Buffet.

He passed away a couple of years ago but grandma likes to keep up the tradition.

My wife just told me "I've got some terrible news for you. Brace yourself. You CAN'T go to Hometown Buffet with us tomorrow. I'm so sorry."

The wife is cooking one small turkey at home and smoking another at the restaurant. The Hometown Buffet outing is going to interfere with the strict timetable concerning picking up the smoked bird and keeping an eye on the oven. I get to take care of it.

:banana:

 

[Gadzooks]

A girl from high school picked up her husband at the airport today after he's been in Afghanistan for the last 6 months. She posted the video of their 3 year old son running up to him at the airport and giving him a huge hug and a card he made for him. It just got a little dusty for me. Videos like that get me every time. Now I need to re-focus my energy towards getting drunk and being stupid. Quite a roller coaster of emotions for me today.

 

[General Malaise]

Turkey Day winners:

Packers

Cowboys

Upset special - Ravens

Is this some sort of MOP math I'm not aware of? Ravens are favored by 3....it's in Baltimore. Dolphins will beat Dallas.

 

[Sconch]

A girl from high school picked up her husband at the airport today after he's been in Afghanistan for the last 6 months. She posted the video of their 3 year old son running up to him at the airport and giving him a huge hug and a card he made for him. It just got a little dusty for me. Videos like that get me every time. Now I need to re-focus my energy towards getting drunk and being stupid. Quite a roller coaster of emotions for me today.

GAY

 

[YSR]

A girl from high school picked up her husband at the airport today after he's been in Afghanistan for the last 6 months. She posted the video of their 3 year old son running up to him at the airport and giving him a huge hug and a card he made for him. It just got a little dusty for me. Videos like that get me every time. Now I need to re-focus my energy towards getting drunk and being stupid. Quite a roller coaster of emotions for me today.

GAY

Love how he's trying to pretend that his drunken nights don't end in tears.

 

[urbanhack]

Turkey Day winnersackersCowboysUpset special - Ravens

I've got PackersDolphins and49ers

 

[General Malaise]

A girl from high school picked up her husband at the airport today after he's been in Afghanistan for the last 6 months. She posted the video of their 3 year old son running up to him at the airport and giving him a huge hug and a card he made for him. It just got a little dusty for me. Videos like that get me every time. Now I need to re-focus my energy towards getting drunk and being stupid. Quite a roller coaster of emotions for me today.

Homer, you reading this? I think your sights are way way WAY too high with the 20 year old virgins. You can do better, friend.

 

[Gadzooks]

A girl from high school picked up her husband at the airport today after he's been in Afghanistan for the last 6 months. She posted the video of their 3 year old son running up to him at the airport and giving him a huge hug and a card he made for him. It just got a little dusty for me. Videos like that get me every time. Now I need to re-focus my energy towards getting drunk and being stupid. Quite a roller coaster of emotions for me today.

GAY

Love how he's trying to pretend that his drunken nights don't end in tears.

Someone send me Tanner's number. He's getting surprise taint-pics tonight.

 

[General Malaise]

A girl from high school picked up her husband at the airport today after he's been in Afghanistan for the last 6 months. She posted the video of their 3 year old son running up to him at the airport and giving him a huge hug and a card he made for him. It just got a little dusty for me. Videos like that get me every time. Now I need to re-focus my energy towards getting drunk and being stupid. Quite a roller coaster of emotions for me today.

Homer, you reading this? I think your sights are way way WAY too high with the 20 year old virgins. You can do better, friend.

Wait, by 'high' I clearly mean 'low'.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

My wife just presented me with her first paycheck in almost two months.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING INDEED MORTIMER! HAPPY THANKSGIVING INDEED!!!!

 

[Sconch]

My wife just presented me with her first paycheck in almost two months.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING INDEED MORTIMER! HAPPY THANKSGIVING INDEED!!!!

THAT'S NOT A CHECK

 

[St. Louis Bob]

My wife just presented me with her first paycheck in almost two months.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING INDEED MORTIMER! HAPPY THANKSGIVING INDEED!!!!

THAT'S NOT A CHECK

Waiting for that. We use direct deposit because I'm not walking around with that kind of money on me.

 

[phishphan]

My wife just presented me with her first paycheck in almost two months.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING INDEED MORTIMER! HAPPY THANKSGIVING INDEED!!!!

THAT'S NOT A CHECK

 

[General Malaise]

A girl from high school picked up her husband at the airport today after he's been in Afghanistan for the last 6 months. She posted the video of their 3 year old son running up to him at the airport and giving him a huge hug and a card he made for him. It just got a little dusty for me. Videos like that get me every time. Now I need to re-focus my energy towards getting drunk and being stupid. Quite a roller coaster of emotions for me today.

GAY

Love how he's trying to pretend that his drunken nights don't end in tears.

Someone send me Tanner's number. He's getting surprise taint-pics tonight.

You get my penis pic yet?

 

[Zow]

OK, PPR league:Marshawn Lynch v WASVictor Cruz @ NOWhatcha got?

Lynch, always safer to play a RB and he has been hot lately.

 

[Sconch]

My wife just presented me with her first paycheck in almost two months.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING INDEED MORTIMER! HAPPY THANKSGIVING INDEED!!!!

THAT'S NOT A CHECK

Waiting for that. We use direct deposit because I'm not walking around with that kind of money on me.

Good point. I'd invest in a money belt.

 

[Gadzooks]

A girl from high school picked up her husband at the airport today after he's been in Afghanistan for the last 6 months. She posted the video of their 3 year old son running up to him at the airport and giving him a huge hug and a card he made for him. It just got a little dusty for me. Videos like that get me every time. Now I need to re-focus my energy towards getting drunk and being stupid. Quite a roller coaster of emotions for me today.

GAY

Love how he's trying to pretend that his drunken nights don't end in tears.

Someone send me Tanner's number. He's getting surprise taint-pics tonight.

You get my penis pic yet?

It was lovely. Thanks. :notgay:

 

[Zow]

So I am still alive in my B&M survivor, even though I picked Baltimore two weeks ago. I guess the other three people whiffed too, so we all got back in.Candidates this weekAL at home against MIACIN at home against CLESD at home against DENI probably would never have the guts, but I also kind of likeCAR at INDThoughts?

Yuck, I think I'd go Dallas (Miami scares me though) then Carolina FWIW though Vegas gives the best odds to Cinci to win. Another idea: seattle at home v. Washington

 

[urbanhack]

last one in the office.

#### this ####.

 

[Sconch]

great

 

[krista4]

Just booked our trip to Cuba beginning Jan. 28.

 

[Sconch]

last one in the office.#### this ####.

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I didn't have to work today but I did have to go to the grocery store and pick up 5 or 6 things for the wife. Then I only got to play MW3 for an hour and a half before the wife came home. Now I have to drive all the way downtown (10 minutes) to file a marriage license. I probably won't be able to crack my first beer for like an hour. I feel like some sort of slave.

 

[cosjobs]

last one in the office.#### this ####.

GLGBUH Sounds like you are in a really sucky situation there. I hope things get turned around.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

last one in the office.

#### this ####.

Just booked our trip to Cuba beginning Jan. 28.

Congrats! I wanted to go there ever since I received this issue.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

A girl from high school picked up her husband at the airport today after he's been in Afghanistan for the last 6 months. She posted the video of their 3 year old son running up to him at the airport and giving him a huge hug and a card he made for him. It just got a little dusty for me. Videos like that get me every time. Now I need to re-focus my energy towards getting drunk and being stupid. Quite a roller coaster of emotions for me today.

GAY

Love how he's trying to pretend that his drunken nights don't end in tears.

Someone send me Tanner's number. He's getting surprise taint-pics tonight.

You get my penis pic yet?

DO you still have my #?

 

[urbanhack]

we tell our clients: "hey...get your requests to us by Monday or Tuesday if you want to do a Thanksgiving email special."

When does everyone send in their request?? WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON!

it's not that bad...i'm leaving in 5 min.

 

[Sconch]

we tell our clients: "hey...get your requests to us by Monday or Tuesday if you want to do a Thanksgiving email special." When does everyone send in their request?? WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON!it's not that bad...i'm leaving in 5 min.

Poop in the coffee maker.

 

[Sconch]

Awww kitties

 

[krista4]

Awww kitties

 

[General Malaise]

Why have I never even heard of, let alone listen to, The War On Drugs. Starting to warm up to this 'Spotify' thing.

Oh, but the commercials suck. Hot Chelle Rae? That's what you think I like Spotify? FU.

 

[Limp Ditka]

Why have I never even heard of, let alone listen to, The War On Drugs.

Ditto - Just listened to a few tracks on YouTube

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

OK, PPR league:Marshawn Lynch v WASVictor Cruz @ NOWhatcha got?

Lynch, always safer to play a RB and he has been hot lately.

Welp

 

[Zow]

Boss left early today leaving me with a bunch of work to do (his) so I'm stuck here til at least 5:00. His punishment: sent him a text with the firm phone controlled by our spunky, out-spoken, a little on the larger side assistant professing her secret crush and requesting office sex next workday. Note: She is in on it.

I don't know if this is a good prank or not. Leaning towards no.