Jesus.  My wife is looking at me in a whole new way and it's not a good way.  Contents:
1 travel cup thing from Neira's Collision Center which has locations in both East Bakersfield and the Automall
1 True Tales of Animal Heroes paperback by Allan Zullo
1 portable corkscrew from the Visalia Marriott (home of the Visalia Oaks, a Twins minor league farm team)
1 name tag from Buck Owens' Crystal Palace, name scratched off
2 bottles of Famous Dave's Rich & Sassy BBQ Sauce
1 box of Dewar's Fine Candies
1 paperback copy of TV Super Stars by Jeffrey Feinman featuring the inside story on such stars as Henry Winkler and Donnie and Marie (published 1977, the year after I was born so Tanner probably read this his freshman college class)
1 heavy duty BBQ spatula branded by Famous Dave's (very nice)
1 bag tag from Kern County Disc Golf Club
1 DVD copy (opened) of 
Santa Claus Defeats the Aliens
1 bottle (1 pint, 6 oz) of Isabella Blonde Ale, brewed in Kern County
1 Bakersfield Life Magazine from June 2008 (The Meaning of Freedom cover story)
1 Cracked Magazine from 1980 (Empire Strikes Back edition - sweet)
1 hacky sack that looks like a football
1 keychain from Ride Share with a car on the end that lights up if you push the button
1 keychain from Motor City Auto Center (proudly serving Kern County)
1 keychain/bottle opener from BBVA Compass
1 keychain from State Farm agent Keith Stonebraker (oh come on) based in Bakersfield
1 keychain from Securitas that lights up when you press a button
1 keychain with an electronic football game that I haven't figured out yet attached
1 note reading "There is one more thing to come [
ed note: already got the Oildale shirt].  I just have to wait until UPS stops [redacted] me.  Oh, the Dewar's chews are a local delicacy.  They are like crack designed as taffy.  Enjoy.  Happy Chanuka.
I feel so blessed.  Between this and the shirt I feel like I never have to visit Bakersfield.  Or the late 1970s.  Thanks good buddy, and happy chanuka to you as well.