I got so blacked out drunk last night, not only did I have the worst hangover today, I have injuries as well.
Yesterday morning was the memorial service for my buddy and it ended up being way more emotional for me than I thought it would be. After the service I was going to work but only to attend a training for a few hours in the afternoon. Then we had a "Sales Kickoff/New Product Launch" party at a local bar that my company rented out. They hired caterers because the bar (which isn't a very nice) doesn't serve food, only booze. Now originally my plan for the last week was that I would go to this "Kickoff" thingy for a little bit and then go home and meet the 22 year old. This whole thing with my buddy passing away had kind of thrown me for a loop for the past few days and the memorial service basically put me over the edge. I figured the only way to handle everything was to drink heavily. However, coming home and having sex for hours minutes seemed like a better idea. About 20 minutes before I'm about to leave to go the bar, 22 year old texts me that she can't come over tonight. I figured that was a sign that I should get absolutely wildly drunk.
I walked into the bar and bypassed the buffet table and went straight to the bar. I've known the owner of the bar since I was a little kid, his wife was bartending and she heard about my buddy so she decided that I didn't have to pay for my drinks for the night. I drank like a man on a mission. I didn't even text anyone because I was just in a zone with Jack and Cokes constantly going in my mouth.With all the emotions I was going thru and being mad about not seeing the 22 year old, I was a walking weapon of mass (self)destruction. I was a mess. Stupidly, since the bar was literally 2 minutes from my house, I drove home. I got home fine, but the guilt I've felt today about driving last night has been eating away at me.
This is where things get hazy. I have literally started to remember things as today has gone on. I know that before I left my house I had put fresh sheets on my bed (anticipating the 22 year old coming over) Now the next thing I remember is waking up in my bed very groggy and I was completely naked and freezing. And not only are there no sheets on the bed, the mattress cover is also off the bed. I was completely shuked about this. I saw a blanket at the bottom of the bed and pulled that over me for warmth and I then noticed an unbelievable amount of pain in my hip and shoulder. The pain made me completely wake up. Now I was really trying to figure out what happened. I got up to take a leak and then I suddenly remembered that I had thrown up at some point. So that was why I took everything off the bed, apparently I didn't make it to bathroom and vomited in my bed. Lovely.
I hobble into the bathroom and I can hear the shower is dripping. I move the shower curtain and I see the spout where the water would come out for a bath is twisted and turned to side instead of facing down. At that moment I then had a flashback to me falling into the shower which explained why my hip and shoulder hurt so much. There is a small dent in my shoulder from that spout. I remember stumbling around in the bathroom and falling and trying to grab the shower curtain but I guess I missed it and fell into the tub. My hip has been absolutely throbbing today, to the point that I almost called me doctor to see if he could look at it. I brought the mattress cover down stairs to throw it in the washing machine and noticed that every single light in my house was turned on and my belt was at the bottom of the stairs (I guess I started undressing on the way upstairs?) I get to the kitchen and notice a large aluminum container on my stove and I'm thinking what in the world is that? I open it up and discover it is filled with roasted potatoes that I apparently stole from the event last night and brought home. There was a ton of
potatos in that thing. I contemplated calling in to work but decided to man up and go in. At lunch I picked up Little 'Zooks at school and brought him to my Mom's house. When he got in the back seat he then asked why there were potatoes in the car. I look back there and the floor of my back seat was filled with roasted potatoes. I guess the cover wasn't securely on that thing when I drove home. After dropping him off and having a liquid-dynomite-poop-explosion in my parent's bathroom, I went back to my house to wash the rest of my sheets. I pick up my sheets off the bedroom floor and find my clothes from last night underneath the sheets and my clothes were covered with my vomit. Lovely. I was then wondering why the vomit got on my clothes and thru the bed sheets to the matress cover, but the blanket didn't get any. So I checked the blanket and sure enough there were some splatterings on there as well. Which meant that when I had woken up this morning and pulled the blanket over for warmth, I was using a blanket covered with my own vomit without even realizing it. Awesome.
I'm feeling much better now. 22 year old came over for a quick visit to "make me feel better". She is really getting a kick out of me hurting my hip because as she puts it "all old people break their hips". I told her that when she makes a joke about me being older than her, I want her to refer to me as Tanner. She doesn't understand it, but she cheerfully plays along to amuse me.
After last night's ridiculous amount of drinking and the blackouts and injuries that followed, I have decided that I am definitely giving up drinking for the next couple of days.
Oh she's plenty interesting.
It's more the townies from high school and the people who link to everything they read online without stopping to think if it's actually something others would care about.
How did I taste? You want more, don't you? Admit it.
. Anyway, these two kind of run in the same circles and both were here at my bar on Sunday night when I was working. I was flirting heavily with Tattoo and pretty much ignoring the Virgin. This did not sit well...the Virgin hates any girl I talk to, which is hilarious fun for me, since I'll go out of my way to be flirty when she's around. Well I got Tattoo's number and we went out Monday and obviously had much fun and I figured I could manage both of them without much trouble. Tattoo already knew about the Virgin and didn't care...the opposite, however, did not hold true.
