PART 3Get into my office this morning and check my email and see that I have an email from "Hot CoWorker". It just says, "Just thought you might want my cell number, you know, in case you wanted to pay up for that bet and take me to dinner sometime: 774-###-####". With everything that had happened after I left work yesterday, I totally forgot about her. Worst case scenario is that I do something bad with her after the next company event that I get over-served at. Best case scenario is that I do something bad with her after the next company event that I get over-served at.
A little while later I get call on my cell from guy who I am kinda friends with but it's more like he's a friend of a friend. I saw him at the fundraiser last night and we had talked about going out for a beer sometime. Anyways, he tells me that he had no idea that I'd been divorced and he hoped everything was ok with me. I told him it had been 3 years ago and I'm fine. After some small talk he says that he wants to set me up with a girl he works with who is single and really nice and he thinks that she and I would really hit it off. Apparently she was at the fundraiser last night and asked about me but she never spoke to me and I don't remember seeing her based on his discription of her. He tells me her name and says that she grew up in the next town over from me but she now lives in my town. When he told me that she was 36 I said something like "yikes, she's old" and he said "wait, aren't you 36?" Oh yeah, I guess I am. So he tells me that he is going out with a few friends tonight and that she is going out with all them as well and that I should go too. I told him I'd think about it and to call me later with more details.
About ten minutes later the female co-worker who was there last night trying to set me up with the hygenist calls me and says she now has the perfect girl for me: the same girl that the other guy just called me about 10 minutes ago. My co-worker went on and on about how nice this girl is and how she just got out of a relationship and this would really be perfect. I told her there was a chance I might see this girl tonight and we'll see what happens.
Back in October I had talked about a co-worker that I had drunkenly had sex with that I believe I referred to as something like Drunk-Liz. She's 25 or 26 and decent looking but nothing spectacular. As I'm leaving my office, I get a text from her asking if I want to go over her place and get drunk tonight. I told her bad things would happen if we get drunk together. Her reply: EXACTLY!!!! I told her it was possible and that I'd get back to her later.
In the course of 24 hours, I went from thinking that I just ruined a great "friends with benefits" relationship with a hot 22 YO and going back to my crock pot chicken every night... to now still having the 22 YO and having options with a hot young Co-Worker, a hot Dental Hygenist, a 36 year old that wants to go out with me and a horny drunk Co-worker that wants to get drunk and bang tonight. Let this be inspiration to the rest of you. I don't deserve this, I'm a moron who specializes in making decisions based on what will have the funniest outcome and never chooses the right decision. As for looks, I don't have to much to offer, I'm pretty much just as ugly as the rest of all of you. The only thing I can think of as to why God/Tebow/JB has decided to shine his light on me and my penis is because I tried to do the right thing yesterday and distance myself from the 22 YO so that she'll be better off in the long run. Who knew that doing the right thing would lead to such happiness.
I'm fairly certain I'm going to screw all of this up. But for now, it feels like I've stepped things up a bit..... Guster, you're up.
I'm now gonna make myself a drink and decide what I'm going to do tonight. Oh yeah, I'm also gonna text Tanner a pic of my junk before I do anything.
THE END