GM's thread about nothing (25 Viewers)

[Gadzooks]

Anyone got any tips for an old fat dude to lose 20lbs? Keep in mind I like booze, like crappy food, and can't seem to find any time in my schedule these days to regularly work out. I could start setting an alarm for 6:30am to knock out this third thing, but I also enjoy sleep.TIA

If my stalking skills are on target, Mrs. Otis is pretty hot, right? Any chance she might leave you if you keep getting fat? I only say this because you'd probably feel better if she left you and ended up with a nice chap like myself. Of course, I do have dibs on Mrs SLB when SLB dies (and he should be a lottery pick in any death pool these days) and I'd also like to make a play for Mrs. Frosty once Frosty dies at one of those crazy meat raffle things. Oh and I really have a thing for YSR, but I can't talk about her that way anymore because MR. YSR/Romo has joined our cult.Aside from all that, I'm psyched that Otis is posting in here. Can't wait to see his first shot video. My other wish is to have EvilGrin posting in here. I sent him a somewhat creepy PM asking him to come here, never heard back, pretty sure he thinks I'm a gay stalker.

 

[eaganwildcats]

Anyone got any tips for an old fat dude to lose 20lbs? Keep in mind I like booze, like crappy food, and can't seem to find any time in my schedule these days to regularly work out. I could start setting an alarm for 6:30am to knock out this third thing, but I also enjoy sleep.

TIA

If my stalking skills are on target, Mrs. Otis is pretty hot, right? Any chance she might leave you if you keep getting fat? I only say this because you'd probably feel better if she left you and ended up with a nice chap like myself. Of course, I do have dibs on Mrs SLB when SLB dies (and he should be a lottery pick in any death pool these days) and I'd also like to make a play for Mrs. Frosty once Frosty dies at one of those crazy meat raffle things. Oh and I really have a thing for YSR, but I can't talk about her that way anymore because MR. YSR/Romo has joined our cult.Aside from all that, I'm psyched that Otis is posting in here. Can't wait to see his first shot video. My other wish is to have EvilGrin posting in here. I sent him a somewhat creepy PM asking him to come here, never heard back, pretty sure he thinks I'm a gay stalker.

 

[General Malaise]

Otis posts in here now? Sweet.

Otis - Just heard a John Mayer song today on the radio. New one. Not gonna like...I didn't hate it.

 

[Sheriff Bart]

No love ring yet Zooks.

Y'all notice that I haven't posted a shot video yet. well, it's because I've had a plan for several months now..... It was going to be executed last week but you know.... Thank you for your patience.

 

[Guster]

Mrs. SLB: lol Your friends have a weird sense of humor. I see why you like them so much. Me: Yep pretty awesome. All of this whiskey is tough to have around though. I guess I would die if I drank some huh? Mrs. SLB: You mean because you are loaded with narcotics? Me: Well yeah. Mrs SLB: It wouldn't be smart but I don't think it would kill you. Why would she tell me that?!!! She also just got done working in the yard for the first time since we've been married. I had to walk her through how to start and use everything.

For the record, YSR said booze was a bad idea, but TRE and I overruled her

 

[JerseyToughGuys]

Dropped kitten off this morning for neutering. T&P, kitten balls.

sweet band name imo

 

[mr. furley]

Durant 17 in the 3rd including a 3 from about 30 feet just a minute ago

 

[EYLive]

Durant 17 in the 3rd including a 3 from about 30 feet just a minute ago

Take 2 strides across midcourt and fire.

 

[JerseyToughGuys]

Mrs. SLB: lol Your friends have a weird sense of humor. I see why you like them so much.

Me: Yep pretty awesome. All of this whiskey is tough to have around though. I guess I would die if I drank some huh?

Mrs. SLB: You mean because you are loaded with narcotics?

Me: Well yeah.

Mrs SLB: It wouldn't be smart but I don't think it would kill you.

Why would she tell me that?!!!

She also just got done working in the yard for the first time since we've been married. I had to walk her through how to start and use everything.

see #4

drink on, brother

 

[mr. furley]

Durant 17 in the 3rd including a 3 from about 30 feet just a minute ago

Take 2 strides across midcourt and fire.

he was warm there. the net was about to start on fire if he made that one.

 

[Guster]

Durant 17 in the 3rd including a 3 from about 30 feet just a minute ago

Take 2 strides across midcourt and fire.

he was warm there. the net was about to start on fire if he made that one.

Boom Shakalaka

 

[Sheriff Bart]

Mrs. SLB: lol Your friends have a weird sense of humor. I see why you like them so much.

Me: Yep pretty awesome. All of this whiskey is tough to have around though. I guess I would die if I drank some huh?

Mrs. SLB: You mean because you are loaded with narcotics?

Me: Well yeah.

Mrs SLB: It wouldn't be smart but I don't think it would kill you.

Why would she tell me that?!!!

She also just got done working in the yard for the first time since we've been married. I had to walk her through how to start and use everything.

see #4

drink on, brother

I was feeling pretty good until that second to last thing.

 

[Sheriff Bart]

The dog has officially demoted me to last in the pack and has left me for dead. Thanks nature!

 

[JerseyToughGuys]

Mrs. SLB: lol Your friends have a weird sense of humor. I see why you like them so much.

Me: Yep pretty awesome. All of this whiskey is tough to have around though. I guess I would die if I drank some huh?

Mrs. SLB: You mean because you are loaded with narcotics?

Me: Well yeah.

Mrs SLB: It wouldn't be smart but I don't think it would kill you.

Why would she tell me that?!!!

She also just got done working in the yard for the first time since we've been married. I had to walk her through how to start and use everything.

see #4

drink on, brother

I was feeling pretty good until that second to last thing.

screw em, what do they know anyway?

 

[EYLive]

The dog has officially demoted me to last in the pack and has left me for dead. Thanks nature!

:( Eat all this food. That'll show'em.

 

[Sheriff Bart]

k4 good luck with your kitty nuts.

 

[Marvin]

The dog has officially demoted me to last in the pack and has left me for dead. Thanks nature!

I remember reading a "funny story" (might have been in Reader's Digest) once. This guy was eating lunch at home and came across an article about how to test your dog's IQ. The article said "Fall down and pretend you're unconscious. If your dogs are smart they will try to help you or go get help."So the guy looks at his two dogs and then falls off the couch pretending to be hurt. The dogs looked at him for a second and then ate the sandwich he had left on the coffee table.

 

[kevzilla]

I showed my glucose log for the last three months to my doc today. He agreed that a trip to the lab was unnecessary, and wrote me a script for Metformin. He also wrote another for my moderately high BP and leg edema. I also have to find an orthopedist to look at my Achilles. Oh, and he really leaned on me about getting that colonoscopy.

Other than that, I'm fine.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

I showed my glucose log for the last three months to my doc today. He agreed that a trip to the lab was unnecessary, and wrote me a script for Metformin. He also wrote another for my moderately high BP and leg edema. I also have to find an orthopedist to look at my Achilles. Oh, and he really leaned on me about getting that colonoscopy.Other than that, I'm fine.

glad to hear the hair is healthy.

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

I showed my glucose log for the last three months to my doc today. He agreed that a trip to the lab was unnecessary, and wrote me a script for Metformin. He also wrote another for my moderately high BP and leg edema. I also have to find an orthopedist to look at my Achilles. Oh, and he really leaned on me about getting that colonoscopy.

Other than that, I'm fine.

glad to hear the hair is healthy.

"The good news, Kevzilla, is that the hair is in magnificent condition."

 

[Sheriff Bart]

The dog has officially demoted me to last in the pack and has left me for dead. Thanks nature!

I remember reading a "funny story" (might have been in Reader's Digest) once. This guy was eating lunch at home and came across an article about how to test your dog's IQ. The article said "Fall down and pretend you're unconscious. If your dogs are smart they will try to help you or go get help."So the guy looks at his two dogs and then falls off the couch pretending to be hurt. The dogs looked at him for a second and then ate the sandwich he had left on the coffee table.

That sounds about right. Can't wait until I'm better so I can point and laugh at him in the morning as I leave for a nice long walk. Kevzilla, glgb. Get the colonoscopy, #######.

 

[Mr.Pack]

Mrs. SLB: lol Your friends have a weird sense of humor. I see why you like them so much.

Me: Yep pretty awesome. All of this whiskey is tough to have around though. I guess I would die if I drank some huh?

Mrs. SLB: You mean because you are loaded with narcotics?

Me: Well yeah.

Mrs SLB: It wouldn't be smart but I don't think it would kill you.

Why would she tell me that?!!!

She also just got done working in the yard for the first time since we've been married. I had to walk her through how to start and use everything.

see #4

drink on, brother

I was feeling pretty good until that second to last thing.

I took that as meaning head accidents are caused by too much drinking.

 

[kevzilla]

I showed my glucose log for the last three months to my doc today. He agreed that a trip to the lab was unnecessary, and wrote me a script for Metformin. He also wrote another for my moderately high BP and leg edema. I also have to find an orthopedist to look at my Achilles. Oh, and he really leaned on me about getting that colonoscopy.

Other than that, I'm fine.

glad to hear the hair is healthy.

"The good news, Kevzilla, is that the hair is in magnificent condition."

Had it cut back to summer length this past weekend. Planning on growing it out to its full glory for Vegas. SLBob>GL to you Wednesday.

 

[Sheriff Bart]

Mrs. SLB: lol Your friends have a weird sense of humor. I see why you like them so much.

Me: Yep pretty awesome. All of this whiskey is tough to have around though. I guess I would die if I drank some huh?

Mrs. SLB: You mean because you are loaded with narcotics?

Me: Well yeah.

Mrs SLB: It wouldn't be smart but I don't think it would kill you.

Why would she tell me that?!!!

She also just got done working in the yard for the first time since we've been married. I had to walk her through how to start and use everything.

see #4

drink on, brother

I was feeling pretty good until that second to last thing.

I took that as meaning head accidents are caused by too much drinking.

Got that. This part "alohol may cause medical complications" or something something. Drank a couple bottles of whiskey anyway.

 

[shuke]

The dog has officially demoted me to last in the pack and has left me for dead. Thanks nature!

I remember reading a "funny story" (might have been in Reader's Digest) once. This guy was eating lunch at home and came across an article about how to test your dog's IQ. The article said "Fall down and pretend you're unconscious. If your dogs are smart they will try to help you or go get help."So the guy looks at his two dogs and then falls off the couch pretending to be hurt. The dogs looked at him for a second and then ate the sandwich he had left on the coffee table.

OMG HAHAHAHHAHAHBWEHAHAHEHAHARHARHARHARHAHAHHAAAAA

 

[Marvin]

The dog has officially demoted me to last in the pack and has left me for dead. Thanks nature!

I remember reading a "funny story" (might have been in Reader's Digest) once. This guy was eating lunch at home and came across an article about how to test your dog's IQ. The article said "Fall down and pretend you're unconscious. If your dogs are smart they will try to help you or go get help."So the guy looks at his two dogs and then falls off the couch pretending to be hurt. The dogs looked at him for a second and then ate the sandwich he had left on the coffee table.

OMG HAHAHAHHAHAHBWEHAHAHEHAHARHARHARHARHAHAHHAAAAA

Yes

 

[Marvin]

Mrs. SLB: lol Your friends have a weird sense of humor. I see why you like them so much.

Me: Yep pretty awesome. All of this whiskey is tough to have around though. I guess I would die if I drank some huh?

Mrs. SLB: You mean because you are loaded with narcotics?

Me: Well yeah.

Mrs SLB: It wouldn't be smart but I don't think it would kill you.

Why would she tell me that?!!!

She also just got done working in the yard for the first time since we've been married. I had to walk her through how to start and use everything.

see #4

drink on, brother

I was feeling pretty good until that second to last thing.

I took that as meaning head accidents are caused by too much drinking.

Got that. This part "alohol may cause medical complications" or something something. Drank a couple bottles of whiskey anyway.

Atta boy

 

[Otis]

Otis posts in here now? Sweet. Otis - Just heard a John Mayer song today on the radio. New one. Not gonna like...I didn't hate it.

Ok I'm about to take off so I'll try and do this in one shot:- screw you UOFI. Yes I'm fat. Yes I quit the thread. But yes damnit I'll come back. - what's a shot video? I'll try. - the Tim draft is also. I already have an opening shtick salvo en route. Give it a day or two. - yea my wife is hot. I don't deserve her. That said in about to take off on the red eye back from SD to NY, and she's on a huge baby kick and wants to get pregnant with our second and is now _ovulating_ so after I get off this flight and get home at 5am with no sleep after working for days on end I'll have to _deliver_ before I head off to work, and I just don't know if I can handle this pressure. I feel like I had more to offer but we're taking off now. There's a hot twenty something next toeShuke would love but no I won't take pics. See y'all tomorrow. Not you Bentley.

 

[Marvin]

Otis posts in here now? Sweet. Otis - Just heard a John Mayer song today on the radio. New one. Not gonna like...I didn't hate it.

- what's a shot video? I'll try.

Pretty simple. Make a quick video of yourself doing a shot of some sort of booze. It should be about a minute or so. Since it only takes 5 seconds to actually do a shot use the rest of the time to make inside jokes, give shout-outs, and say something mean about Tanner.

 

[Otis]

Actually shuke check your texts.

 

[bentley]

Otis posts in here now? Sweet. Otis - Just heard a John Mayer song today on the radio. New one. Not gonna like...I didn't hate it.

Ok I'm about to take off so I'll try and do this in one shot:- screw you UOFI. Yes I'm fat. Yes I quit the thread. But yes damnit I'll come back. - what's a shot video? I'll try. - the Tim draft is also. I already have an opening shtick salvo en route. Give it a day or two. - yea my wife is hot. I don't deserve her. That said in about to take off on the red eye back from SD to NY, and she's on a huge baby kick and wants to get pregnant with our second and is now _ovulating_ so after I get off this flight and get home at 5am with no sleep after working for days on end I'll have to _deliver_ before I head off to work, and I just don't know if I can handle this pressure. I feel like I had more to offer but we're taking off now. There's a hot twenty something next toeShuke would love but no I won't take pics. See y'all tomorrow. Not you Bentley.

 

[Frostillicus]

Well ####.

 

[shuke]

Actually shuke check your texts.

Nothing, bro. You using correct number?

 

[eaganwildcats]

August 6th Update:

There were a lot of cow jokes to start the day. Almost made it this far.

T&P to K4s cat.

Google results for something funny relating to mysterious, nasty coolers yield very very

and couldn’t come up with any sort of joke that would make that seem worthwhile.

 

[Marvin]

August 6th Update:

Otis is making his triumphant return. Shot videos likely to come. I honestly spent 15 minutes looking back

Holy crap.

 

[Marvin]

August 6th Update:

Otis is making his triumphant return. Shot videos likely to come. I honestly spent 15 minutes looking back

Terrible movie...great soundtrack though.

 

[Samuel L Bronkowitz]

August 6th Update:

Otis is making his triumphant return. Shot videos likely to come. I honestly spent 15 minutes looking back

Otis,a shot video is pretty much what you did with the Circuit City vid, but you should have drank a shot while doing it. It's great shtick and if you check TREs sig, he set up a shot video blog of some of the best so far.

 

[Otis]

Actually shuke check your texts.

Nothing, bro. You using correct number?

You get a new cell num?

 

[Otis]

Timdraft schtick delivered while I was mid flight. Also delivered a chick text to shuke, but he says he didn't receieve it. I'm like the effin postman. SUCK IT FREDddf1

 

[Guster]

Well ####.

Everything ok, GB?

 

[Guster]

- what's a shot video? I'll try.

PM me your number and I'll show you how to do a shot video

 

[phishphan]

Tanner> you live near here?

 

[Otis]

Can I get an update on the origin of the gay tanner schtick?

 

[Gadzooks]

August 6th Update:

Otis is making his triumphant return. Shot videos likely to come. I honestly spent 15 minutes looking back

The 2 best (for different reasons) were Guster's recent semi-pornographic video and the one Stryker did when he wore a Yao Ming jersey and did his whole performance with a Yao Ming accent. It was awesome. The key is the shtick that is involved. We've seen shot videos that involve:

Farm animals

Dogs

Girlfriends and or wives

Singing along to a BackStreet Boys song

Tanner being mocked for being old, gay or impotent

Someone colored in his nipple with a sharpie

Multiple wardrobe changes during the video

Turn your volume down if you get one from Homer, he's got a bit of a potty mouth when he drinks.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

schtick?

Dear Tanner. I'm sorry if it was just schtick. Please ignore the PMs. I was joking. Hahahahaha. Ha. ha. ha.

 

[bentley]

Otis - Dig deep, bro. No excuses. As you know, I went from 217 to 175 while drinking heavily by eating less, cutting out sweets and draggin my ### out to exercise. Two time-and-energy-draining kids later and I'm all the way up to 176.

 

[Josie Maran]

Can I get an update on the origin of the gay tanner schtick?

Tanner is an octogenarian, but a straight one as far as we can tell.

 

[cosjobs]

When Thorn dropped out of Tim's Fantasy League, I wanted to try and get Shuke in there

.

So even tho the keyboard on my phone is a complete piece of crap,I attempted to text and alert him.

Here is the transcript:

cos: U r sorely needed in tims ffa ddraft. Thorn just quit and we need sshictkk

SHUE: wut

cos: Timsochhhetttt started a fantasy leeg. Come join and help us ,akeit a colossal trainwreckkk.

SHUKE: Who is this

cos: cos

SHUKE: .

cos: DAMON. cosjobs

SHUKE: Who

Shuke: I don't know u

me: :shuked:

=======================

Evidently if you do not use 1+ dialing when texting, you don't get Shuke, even if that's his number. That or he hates me.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

at fake shuke

send him a shot video

 

[SofaKings]

So this is where my wife spends all of her time.