What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

GM's thread about nothing (39 Viewers)

You know how people are supposed to play dead when approached by a bear?Well, let's just say I see little girls do this all the time.
:lmao:
Thank you. Jeez, I thought I knocked it out of the park with that one. Apparently people only care about stupid stuff like drunk guys having pothead babies and stuff.
:lmao: at both
 
So...............................I can go to Vegas again in November, for work, but all expenses paid for me and Mrs. SLB and honestly, I won't have to work all that much.

OR

I can trade it all for what's

. (I know what's in the box)What say you? PLACE YOUR BETS!!

 
So today was Picture Day at school. Every year the teachers have to get to the gym before school starts to get their photo taken.

Today I realized two things. 1. I've never taken any of my school "portraits" home. When I get my free 5x7 and 4 wallets I throw the envelope in a drawer. 2. The biggest reason for #1 is that I've never taken anything close to a decent picture on Picture Day. I am not a vain man but, despite my lack of general good looks, I typically look decent in candid photos. But for some reason my school pictures are beyond terrible.

I decided to go through the collection of pictures I have stashed away and give them each a caption. I do not have a scanner nor do I feel like sharing them with the internet...you'll just have to take my word.

1996: What's with the beard?

1997: Drunk and Disorderly

1998: Primus music video cameo

1999: That green staff polo shirt really brings out your jaundice

2000: (photo lost)

2001: 1000 yard stare in a 10 yard room

2002: Watching the neighbor girl wash her car

2003: I am smiling, pushy picture-taking lady.

2004: (photo lost)

2005: Nyquil is a hell of a drug

2006: Stifling the urge to vomit

2007: ******* love-child of Norman Fell and Bruce Bochy

2008: Worst possible time for the Cialis to kick in

2009: (photo lost)

2010: Paranoid and slightly gay

2011: (I was absent on photo day last year and 'forgot' to go to make up picture day...didn't even make it into the yearbook :thumbup: )

2012: TBD

 
Last edited by a moderator:
So today was Picture Day at school. Every year the teachers have to get to the gym before school starts to get their photo taken.

Today I realized two things. 1. I've never taken any of my school "portraits" home. When I get my free 5x7 and 4 wallets I throw the envelope in a drawer. 2. The biggest reason for #1 is that I've never taken anything close to a decent picture on Picture Day. I am not a vain man but, despite my lack of general good looks, I typically look decent in candid photos. But for some reason my school pictures are beyond terrible.

I decided to go through the collection of pictures I have stashed away and give them each a caption. I do not have a scanner nor do I feel like sharing them with the internet...you'll just have to take my word.

1996: What's with the beard?

1997: Drunk and Disorderly

1998: Primus music video cameo

1999: That green staff polo shirt really brings out your jaundice

2000: (photo lost)

2001: 1000 yard stare in a 10 yard room

2002: Watching the neighbor girl wash her car

2003: I am smiling, pushy picture-taking lady.

2004: (photo lost)

2005: Nyquil is a hell of a drug

2006: Stifling the urge to vomit

2007: ******* love-child of Norman Fell and Bruce Bochy

2008: Worst possible time for the Cialis to kick in

2009: (photo lost)

2010: Paranoid and slightly gay

2011: (I was absent on photo day last year and 'forgot' to go to make up picture day...didn't even make it into the yearbook :thumbup: )

2012: TBD
This isn't going to fly here, chief.
 
So...............................I can go to Vegas again in November, for work, but all expenses paid for me and Mrs. SLB and honestly, I won't have to work all that much.

OR

I can trade it all for what's

You took the box? Let's see what's in the box!Nothing! Absolutely nothing! STUPID! You're so STU-PIIIIIIIIIIID!

 
The box is just a metaphor right?
No, my wife apparently isn't all that turned on by handicapped people. :(
So today was Picture Day at school. Every year the teachers have to get to the gym before school starts to get their photo taken.

Today I realized two things. 1. I've never taken any of my school "portraits" home. When I get my free 5x7 and 4 wallets I throw the envelope in a drawer. 2. The biggest reason for #1 is that I've never taken anything close to a decent picture on Picture Day. I am not a vain man but, despite my lack of general good looks, I typically look decent in candid photos. But for some reason my school pictures are beyond terrible.

I decided to go through the collection of pictures I have stashed away and give them each a caption. I do not have a scanner nor do I feel like sharing them with the internet...you'll just have to take my word.

1996: What's with the beard?

1997: Drunk and Disorderly

1998: Primus music video cameo

1999: That green staff polo shirt really brings out your jaundice

2000: (photo lost)

2001: 1000 yard stare in a 10 yard room

2002: Watching the neighbor girl wash her car

2003: I am smiling, pushy picture-taking lady.

2004: (photo lost)

2005: Nyquil is a hell of a drug

2006: Stifling the urge to vomit

2007: ******* love-child of Norman Fell and Bruce Bochy

2008: Worst possible time for the Cialis to kick in

2009: (photo lost)

2010: Paranoid and slightly gay

2011: (I was absent on photo day last year and 'forgot' to go to make up picture day...didn't even make it into the yearbook :thumbup: )

2012: TBD
This isn't going to fly here, chief.
Lmao: & :goodposting:
 
I don't know what this means. Do I need to know baseball or what HAM means?
You go HAM every night at the bar, gb.
Nobody knows what that means. Please stop using it.
You don't go HAM, gramps.Edit: Thanks for responding to my text, btw. #****
Technically, shouldn't you go HAAM?
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Charles Robert was born at 4:20 am (how fitting for a member of this thread). Mrs Bronkowitz dominated the labor with no pain meds and only shed a tear of disappointment when she had to take some pitosin.

:thumbup: :banned:
Congrats! And good work on a normal name.
:goodposting: Congrats on the new tax deduction!Here's to Mrs. Bronkowitz and little Chuck Bob. :banned:
My linkMrs. SLB used to call my member Chuck back when she used to worship it like she still should. :kicksrock:

 
Sadly, it appears that that my potential future ex wife is just going to be a regular ex. No 1/4 of the fish fortune for you, lady.

 
Sadly, it appears that that my potential future ex wife is just going to be a regular ex. No 1/4 of the fish fortune for you, lady.
:thumbup:
:goodposting: I guess
BTW, rumor has it your GB Homer is back on his way to singlehood.
She get grounded?
:lmao: :finger:
School started and she has to be home when the street lights turn on?
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Sadly, it appears that that my potential future ex wife is just going to be a regular ex. No 1/4 of the fish fortune for you, lady.
:thumbup:
:goodposting: I guess
BTW, rumor has it your GB Homer is back on his way to singlehood.
She get grounded?
:lmao: :finger:
School started and she has to be home when the street lights turn on?
:lmao:
 
So apparently Neil Armstrong used to tell really dumb jokes about the moon. After a few seconds of awkward silence he'd say "oh, well I guess you had to be there."

 
I got shamed into playing golf for the first time in 30 years by several coworkers. I had bought a set of clubs a few months ago, thinking I'd take lessons and get whatever little mojo I ever had back. I never got around to the lessons and today hits. JHC, it was worse than I thought. I lost 3 balls (plus my own 2 = ####) on the first 4 holes. The guys I was playing with weren't great but they were so far ahead of me it wasn't funny. THEY started picking spots where they'd encourage me to take a drop and hit. "It's like riding a bike" they all said while trying to convince/blackmail me into playing. I wasn't any ####### good on bikes either, evidently.

I asked one of them afterwards what I was doing wrong - "am I picking my head up too fast or am I just doing everything wrong?" He wouldn't look at me while I asked the first part of the question, but nodded on the second. "I wouldn't say this if we hadn't worked together for almost 20 years and are friends, but you make Charles Barkely's swing look like Erinie Els".

 

Users who are viewing this thread

Back
Top