Can I get an update on the last 3,554 pages?
(blews out)
-Tanner hates lots of things. There's a popular board game based on this fact, though, so you probably knew that.
-shuke has gout
-krista moved
-Frosti has 8 kids and loves meat sticks
-GM finally had a daughter, which pretty much has to be the universe evening things out
-Everybody SLB has ever met in person is dead
-krista moved
-pickles moved to Minnesota and still won't meet up with Tre and stryker and frosti and... somebody else lives up there, dammit. Who is it?
-I just pissed off at least one person by saying they live in Minnesota
-YRS is attempting to spend another 2000 pages pregnant. This one has a shvantz.
-TRE drank some booze
-80% of sexually active men have tossed sex grenades at zooks' shaft
-I'll be honest. I have a hard time remembering what's happened to Guster, thorn, and bogart. They've all kinda become one person to me. One person who loves peanut butter cups, super bowl squares, fingerbanging random women in strange places (like the backseat of a VW), juggles a kid while trying to land some ###, goes to Chamber of Commerce events to get drunk and hit on slutty women, and just got his heart broken by some ##### from Chicago. But I love him.
-Leeroy Jenkins got a new job and pissed off his family in the process.
-krista moved
-cos got high and opened like 4 new businesses in one location
-YRS wouldn't let flysack breastfeed, so he bolted
-Stu doesn't seem to like us anymore. Or he's spent the last several months at the 12th Annual Rock and Jock Pub Crawl and Hoola-Hoop for Hummingbirds
-Rude turned his hat around
-Tiger Fan has become the offical ice supplier of Pearl Jam
-The future ex Mrs. fish is probably bat#### crazy
-I think Truck is up to something
-krista moved
-Fuller still has toothpick legs
-bentley got drunk with his boys and taught them to pee from a moving car. Or something. He has a powerpoint explaining it all.
-HJS had a threesome with two over-aged women, one of whom might have been a lesbian.
-Uruk kicked cancer's ###, and the prize in the bottom of his cereal box was a s p y. With sexy consequences
-IB is maybe moving to Ohio if JC Penney is still hiring
-uni found a refrigerator box that doesn't leak. He's set for most of the year.
-Sweet J met a crazy fwb and disappeared from the face of the earth with keys
-Apologies to whoever I missed. PM shuke for details.
-Despite handling his finances worse than the government handles healthcare, Abe's having another kid and got a job selling ice to Tiger Fan
-oh, and krista is moving
ETA: Microsoft has a new CEO