Henry, if I may call you Henry, a little primer that others can add to (shot videos and Thorning have already been explained). I have left out many of our most illustrious posters so that someone else can do some of the work, too, ya lazy bastards:
Making crock pot chicken means masturbation.
Something being on your bingo card means you really hate it. Masturbation is not on anyone's bingo card.
Old jokes should be directed to Tanner even though there are several here older.
Netflix and spelling questions should be directed to GM.
If you attend the Second Annual Fixie Bike and Knitting Benefit for the Chronically Warty, you are probably Disco Stu.
If you watch TV shows years after their runs ended and move every three weeks, you are probably me.
If you have magic space hair, you are probably kevzilla.
If you are pregnant through two or more presidential administrations, you are probably YSR.
If you have genital warts, you are just like 85% of other sexually active adult males.
If you buy gas one gallon at a time, you are probably Abraham. (This is actually actually true.)
Something that is "actually true" is not actually true, except when it is.
Gadzooks, Thorn and Guster are often confused for one another. I keep them straight because I only like two of them. (actually true)
Paws off bentley; he's mine. YSR gets sloppy seconds.