We bid them farewell and the four of us go across the street to get our drunk on. I like my bars dank, full of smoke and with questionablt characters that might shiv you at any given moment. This wasn't one of those places.
The waitress asks us what I want, I tell her a J&C, BFF starts asking about single malt bull#### or something. Mrs. SLB asks for a wine list. BFF wife thinks this is a good idea. I'm kind of annoyed. Waitress asks me for ID. I look at her (Offdee 5) and say "kid, I'm old enough to be your father". She shoots back, "how do you know?". I say, I used to date your mother. (Not proud of this, it just came off the top of my bald head). "No you didn't" She's not sure and she's studying me closely now. 25, close, 27. "Whatever, I need whiskey please."
I'm sorry, I know it's stupid, but have to see an ID. So I show her. Then Mrs. SLB thinks it would be funny to #### with and tell her it's my birthday. Now every time this broad comes back, she's calling me birthday boy or something as ridiculous. Now I'm over the top nice to servers but I didn't care for this so I kept looking at her

. She finally gets it and stops referring to me like that. I'm much nicer like I normally would be.
Then, after I order another, she says "I really like Jack". I don't know how you guys would have handled this but I said "lets get out of here and go do something fun". Her and the rest of the table are laughing heartily. "I have a boyfriend. He like cognac though." I like to thing out load a lot so I ask her if this boyfriend is a black dude. She says no, but he wishes he was, all of his friend are black. I look down at my #### and say "baby, we all wish we were black".
This is where it get crazy
She puts her hand on my junk and says "I think you're alright". (Offdee 12). Mrs. SLB is

wait a minute....wait... what..just happened...ther....e..... BFF wife then puts her hand on my stuff, points at the broad and says "you don't have permission to touch here".
Then things got interesting.