GM's thread about nothing (9 Viewers)

[St. Louis Bob]

did he invite you to go nightswimming?

Chick (platonic) I was visiting in Athens and I went to a pizza place. There is Stipe sitting with some weirdo chick a the booth right next to ours. I'm slightly starstruck but apparently everybody in Athens treats him like a regular dude. I wait about 20 minutes. He lights up a smoke. I use that as an opportunity to ask "I'm sorry, but is it OK to smoke in here?" He nods and half-mumbles "sure". I light up and say "I'm from California so I always have to ask". He gives me a nod and goes back to shuffling through a bunch of scraps of paper/napkins.

The next night, after going to a bunch of bars, the same chick and I end up at some proto-hipster after-hours eatery. Stipe and the same weird broad take a seat near us about 15 minutes later. I'm a bit shammered this time. I think I said something like "So we can smoke in here just like the pizza place, right?" He mumbles and nods again.

Fin

Was the chick you were with the Gibson girl?

Like Amalgamated Hay or something.

:Lmao:

 

[fantasycurse42]

So we've got an African Jew wearing a hoodie... Name the movie

Search for the Holy Grail (the "bring out your dead" scene)

Need a movie to watch on Netflix. GO.

SuperBad

Two in one stone

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Bob, you're buying Dylan this shirt and sending him to school wearing it.

He's so different than Cal but he's all mine.

 

[T Bell]

So we've got an African Jew wearing a hoodie... Name the movie

Search for the Holy Grail (the "bring out your dead" scene)

Need a movie to watch on Netflix. GO.

SuperBad

Two in one stone

Speaking of which, movie suggestion for Drifter.

 

[Aerial Assault]

Need a movie to watch on Netflix. GO.

Porky's

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Ended up meeting BFF, his wife, FIL and his GF and BFF's parents for a late lunch early dinner yesterday. Good joint, new development by the river. BFF's mom says "this would be neat to live here in one of the condos overlooking the river with these restaurants, bars and stuff right here. Well, if you were single and didn't have kids and stuff" Total deadpan I smile, nod and say "it would be neat to be single". She loses it laughing, face literally in her arm on the table. BFF is doubled over and GF is looking at me with a weird smile on her face. I didn't realize she didn't speak English.

More to come.

BFF's Dad says "so that's the way we're starting this huh Bobby?". I just, still not knowing this broad only speaks Spanish, just kind of smile at Mrs. SLB. You know, that smile. She smiles, shakes her head while looking at me like "you'll never grow up, you'll always be crazy and HA! you're mine" kind of thing.I nod accordingly.

That's when BFF wife & BFF FIL started translating everything to back to her.

BFF Dad picked me up though because he said now make sure you tell her these two idiots have been friends since they were seven or eight.

I kept it very cool after that. I made sure to keep my hands folded, like a gentleman,and even sort of faked praying after we ate. (pork belly and scallop tacos with a red wine reduction)

Hold on

 

[St. Louis Bob]

The three of them are speaking espnaol and Mrs. SLB says "I bet you wish you didn't take those four years of French now do you?". Me, being completely full of #### of course, as always, just say, oui. Of course I was forgetting that BFF FIL used to actually LIVE in the Vatican. Turns out he's rather fluent in French. So he starts talking to me in French. Everybody is looking at us and I'm going the the very recesses of my brain trying to remember how to respond. I just gave up and told him that it (sadly) has been 25 years since I've studied and I can't really communicate but I can understand it spoken. He says "votre femme bien donne" or something like that. He's very reserved but we both chuckled. I bull####ed my way out of another one.

 

[shuke]

I've been having some dreams lately. I blame pregnancy hormones. Some of them have been downright unnerving.

My link

wtf

 

[shuke]

http://imgur.com/k2YAaX4

And that dude basically is shuke.

Looks nothing like.

What airline does that attendant work for?

 

[shuke]

It just started pouring and I only have 3 beers and a regular sized bottle of wine to get me through the night.

If only they made cars that worked in the rain.

 

[shuke]

hey guys. what are we laughing at?

The poor choices I made in my late teens/early 20s.

Passed on an investment opportunity in the Baltimore Opera Hat Company?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

We bid them farewell and the four of us go across the street to get our drunk on. I like my bars dank, full of smoke and with questionablt characters that might shiv you at any given moment. This wasn't one of those places.

The waitress asks us what I want, I tell her a J&C, BFF starts asking about single malt bull#### or something. Mrs. SLB asks for a wine list. BFF wife thinks this is a good idea. I'm kind of annoyed. Waitress asks me for ID. I look at her (Offdee 5) and say "kid, I'm old enough to be your father". She shoots back, "how do you know?". I say, I used to date your mother. (Not proud of this, it just came off the top of my bald head). "No you didn't" She's not sure and she's studying me closely now. 25, close, 27. "Whatever, I need whiskey please."

I'm sorry, I know it's stupid, but have to see an ID. So I show her. Then Mrs. SLB thinks it would be funny to #### with and tell her it's my birthday. Now every time this broad comes back, she's calling me birthday boy or something as ridiculous. Now I'm over the top nice to servers but I didn't care for this so I kept looking at her . She finally gets it and stops referring to me like that. I'm much nicer like I normally would be.

Then, after I order another, she says "I really like Jack". I don't know how you guys would have handled this but I said "lets get out of here and go do something fun". Her and the rest of the table are laughing heartily. "I have a boyfriend. He like cognac though." I like to thing out load a lot so I ask her if this boyfriend is a black dude. She says no, but he wishes he was, all of his friend are black. I look down at my #### and say "baby, we all wish we were black".

This is where it get crazy

She puts her hand on my junk and says "I think you're alright". (Offdee 12). Mrs. SLB is wait a minute....wait... what..just happened...ther....e..... BFF wife then puts her hand on my stuff, points at the broad and says "you don't have permission to touch here".





Then things got interesting.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

 

[kevzilla]

 

[St. Louis Bob]

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Oh yeah, when the waitress put her hand on me I started singing Happy Birthday to me...

Idiot I am.

 

[shuke]

We bid them farewell and the four of us go across the street to get our drunk on. I like my bars dank, full of smoke and with questionablt characters that might shiv you at any given moment. This wasn't one of those places.

The waitress asks us what I want, I tell her a J&C, BFF starts asking about single malt bull#### or something. Mrs. SLB asks for a wine list. BFF wife thinks this is a good idea. I'm kind of annoyed. Waitress asks me for ID. I look at her (Offdee 5) and say "kid, I'm old enough to be your father". She shoots back, "how do you know?". I say, I used to date your mother. (Not proud of this, it just came off the top of my bald head). "No you didn't" She's not sure and she's studying me closely now. 25, close, 27. "Whatever, I need whiskey please."

I'm sorry, I know it's stupid, but have to see an ID. So I show her. Then Mrs. SLB thinks it would be funny to #### with and tell her it's my birthday. Now every time this broad comes back, she's calling me birthday boy or something as ridiculous. Now I'm over the top nice to servers but I didn't care for this so I kept looking at her . She finally gets it and stops referring to me like that. I'm much nicer like I normally would be.

Then, after I order another, she says "I really like Jack". I don't know how you guys would have handled this but I said "lets get out of here and go do something fun". Her and the rest of the table are laughing heartily. "I have a boyfriend. He like cognac though." I like to thing out load a lot so I ask her if this boyfriend is a black dude. She says no, but he wishes he was, all of his friend are black. I look down at my #### and say "baby, we all wish we were black".

This is where it get crazy

She puts her hand on my junk and says "I think you're alright". (Offdee 12). Mrs. SLB is wait a minute....wait... what..just happened...ther....e..... BFF wife then puts her hand on my stuff, points at the broad and says "you don't have permission to touch here".





Then things got interesting.

Rules

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Mom & Dad made me nice steak dinner for my birthday tonight. He was tending to the grill when Dylan challenged me to a race. Now he's wicked fast but he got it somewhere. I would have declined since my knee was already killing me, but sometimes, you need to make your kid know that you're not dead yet. Show respect.

Ready?! Go!!!

He was beating me pretty handily down the hill then I turned it on. It felt so good to run. Straight up a hill too. Shredda couldn't believe it. Dad just smiled ear-to-ear. I ate my filet with an ice pack of me knee. It could be bad tomorrow.

Moron.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Rules

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh Jesus, how could I forget this.

We go to the casino after that. The four of us are just BSing, enjoying each others company. Some crappy band come on and the girls are all digging their stuff. The band goes on break and apparently make a b-line to the broads. Me & BFF are just . I tell him lets go play some BJ until the next set.

I'm at second base and this guy sits down at first that looked a lot like you. Like you, he was really cool, we were fist pounding bust and stuff, and I say "can I call you Shuke?". He just "What now? Shuke? ". Yeah, it would really help me out here. He just Sure, call me Shuke. Then I asked him how he felt about black ice. He looked shuked, I think he may have thought I was asking for drugs, but I wave him off. Never mind. When I got up, he was still and saying "Shuke".

 

[-fish-]

Went to bww. Never been there before. Two friends, their kids, underwearless gf and her kid. Got talked into blazing challenge, which I failed (9 of 12). Ex wife agreed to drop my daughter off there. Since she's from buffalo, she thought blazing challenge would be doable, so she tried it. Got 8 of 12 down. I've been drunk for about 48 hours. Love you.

 

[shuke]

Rules

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh Jesus, how could I forget this.

We go to the casino after that. The four of us are just BSing, enjoying each others company. Some crappy band come on and the girls are all digging their stuff. The band goes on break and apparently make a b-line to the broads. Me & BFF are just . I tell him lets go play some BJ until the next set.

I'm at second base and this guy sits down at first that looked a lot like you. Like you, he was really cool, we were fist pounding bust and stuff, and I say "can I call you Shuke?". He just "What now? Shuke? ". Yeah, it would really help me out here. He just Sure, call me Shuke. Then I asked him how he felt about black ice. He looked shuked, I think he may have thought I was asking for drugs, but I wave him off. Never mind. When I got up, he was still and saying "Shuke".

 

[shuke]

I am getting old. I haven't watched the last 3 episodes of SNL because I fell asleep beforehand.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Rules

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh Jesus, how could I forget this.

We go to the casino after that. The four of us are just BSing, enjoying each others company. Some crappy band come on and the girls are all digging their stuff. The band goes on break and apparently make a b-line to the broads. Me & BFF are just . I tell him lets go play some BJ until the next set.

I'm at second base and this guy sits down at first that looked a lot like you. Like you, he was really cool, we were fist pounding bust and stuff, and I say "can I call you Shuke?". He just "What now? Shuke? ". Yeah, it would really help me out here. He just Sure, call me Shuke. Then I asked him how he felt about black ice. He looked shuked, I think he may have thought I was asking for drugs, but I wave him off. Never mind. When I got up, he was still and saying "Shuke".

 

[-fish-]

I just blazing challenged my buddy's bathroom

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Crappy band finally gets finished, they figure out they were scoring with our slots, and we get the girls to leave. Going to go grab a cab when we hear another concert going on. BFF says lets go check this out. I tell him we need tickets. He looks at me , then I remembered myself. Ticket guy looks at us, turns his head, and we walk right in. lol

It was a Van Halen cover band, and I love VH, bunch of younger people. I felt out of place. The I, well, all, of us see this really hot blond wearing at red shirt dancing by herself on the floor amongst the crowd. Mrs. SLB look at me and just starts cracking up laughing. I'm going to go say hello to this nice lady. BFF shut me down though. "No,no,no,no, not tongight".

They were playing Hot For Teacher too...

 

[bentley]

I just blazing challenged my buddy's bathroom

`Did you check the toilet for women's underwear before you flushed?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I just blazing challenged my buddy's bathroom

Indoor plumbing?

 

[bentley]

####. I'm so ready to get this week of work started that I really have no desire to go to sleep. That can't be good.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Oh yeah, I was refereed to as "my white friend" today.

 

[T Bell]

Went to bww. Never been there before. Two friends, their kids, underwearless gf and her kid. Got talked into blazing challenge, which I failed (9 of 12). Ex wife agreed to drop my daughter off there. Since she's from buffalo, she thought blazing challenge would be doable, so she tried it. Got 8 of 12 down. I've been drunk for about 48 hours. Love you.

So you're doing BWW's blazing challenge with your pantyless GF, your daughter and your ex-wife?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

####. I'm so ready to get this week of work started that I really have no desire to go to sleep. That can't be good.

Buddy, I want my hour back.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Went to bww. Never been there before. Two friends, their kids, underwearless gf and her kid. Got talked into blazing challenge, which I failed (9 of 12). Ex wife agreed to drop my daughter off there. Since she's from buffalo, she thought blazing challenge would be doable, so she tried it. Got 8 of 12 down. I've been drunk for about 48 hours. Love you.

So you're doing BWW's blazing challenge with your pantyless GF, your daughter and your wife?

Future exwife, pantyless broad, guy.

 

[bentley]

####. I'm so ready to get this week of work started that I really have no desire to go to sleep. That can't be good.

Buddy, I want my hour back.

You're spinning a hell of a yarn here, too. That's not really helping out the "go to bed" end of things for me.

 

[strykerpks]

Hey Bob, we should get some confirmations for Beerhole. Tickets are on sale now so we should probably start talking about how much people are willing to pay and what kind of seats we're looking for. I can do the legwork on ordering them. Just need tallies.

$65, $80 or $195 for Field level

$45-65 for Loge (2nd) level

$60 for Club (3rd) level

$20-25 for Terrace (4th) level

$30 for Bleachers

Group tickets would be cheaper but we'd need 25 people and I don't think we're getting near that.

 

[T Bell]

Went to bww. Never been there before. Two friends, their kids, underwearless gf and her kid. Got talked into blazing challenge, which I failed (9 of 12). Ex wife agreed to drop my daughter off there. Since she's from buffalo, she thought blazing challenge would be doable, so she tried it. Got 8 of 12 down. I've been drunk for about 48 hours. Love you.

So you're doing BWW's blazing challenge with your pantyless GF, your daughter and your wife?

Future exwife, pantyless broad, guy.

I meant to type "ex" in front of "wife".

 

[Limp Ditka]

phuket

 

[DA RAIDERS]

not sure i can get behind the use of BFF.

and please get off my lawn

 

[T Bell]

####### daylight savings. It's 10:00 pm on a school night and my kid can't sleep. It's not helping that my ex has some rats living in her attic which I've been helping to lay traps for and he's all concerned about them. I told him to start thinking about building the perfect house in Minecraft ( ) to occupy his mind. I need another drink.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

not sure i can get behind the use of BFF.

and please get off my lawn

It's terrible. A long ago time in this thread I had to differentiate GB's from him though. Some people deserve a lot of respect. It's the way I show it.

ETA

He would want to punch me in the face if he knew I refereed to him as BFF. Of course he knows that would be a really bad idea. He would never do it but I would give him a couple of shots if it made him feel better. He wouldn't though. Man, how many people do you know that walked on life since you were a kid with somebody? We made our beds a long time ago. Rules are something that suckers live by. Not us. Oh #### no. That doesn't mean you have carte' blanche to be an #######. Far from it. We see something that needs to be done. We do it.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

####### daylight savings. It's 10:00 pm on a school night and my kid can't sleep. It's not helping that my ex has some rats living in her attic which I've been helping to lay traps for and he's all concerned about them. I told him to start thinking about building the perfect house in Minecraft ( ) to occupy his mind. I need another drink.

 

[T Bell]

not sure i can get behind the use of BFF.

and please get off my lawn

I agree, so long as we don't start using "besties" as an alternative.

Oh, and nobody who's demanding people get off their lawn says "please".

 

[strykerpks]

####### daylight savings. It's 10:00 pm on a school night and my kid can't sleep. It's not helping that my ex has some rats living in her attic which I've been helping to lay traps for and he's all concerned about them. I told him to start thinking about building the perfect house in Minecraft ( ) to occupy his mind. I need another drink.

My son usually wakes up around 7 and naps from about noon to 2-ish. Today he woke up at 8:30 (not so bad with the time change), but then slept from 1-4 and still went down at 7:30. Daddy likes his sleep on the weekends so I think he's taking a page out of my book.

About that drink.....

 

[T Bell]

####### daylight savings. It's 10:00 pm on a school night and my kid can't sleep. It's not helping that my ex has some rats living in her attic which I've been helping to lay traps for and he's all concerned about them. I told him to start thinking about building the perfect house in Minecraft ( ) to occupy his mind. I need another drink.

My son usually wakes up around 7 and naps from about noon to 2-ish. Today he woke up at 8:30 (not so bad with the time change), but then slept from 1-4 and still went down at 7:30. Daddy likes his sleep on the weekends so I think he's taking a page out of my book.

About that drink.....

I'm sipping straight vodka. I keep the bottle in my freezer so I don't have ice cubes getting in the way. Normally I have some olives and olive juice in there too, but tonight, no.

 

[T Bell]

So Patrick Bateman - it's all drug burnout shtick, right?

 

[DA RAIDERS]

not sure i can get behind the use of BFF.

and please get off my lawn

I agree, so long as we don't start using "besties" as an alternative.

Oh, and nobody who's demanding people get off their lawn says "please".

The please was meant to be funny

 

[DA RAIDERS]

not sure i can get behind the use of BFF.

and please get off my lawn

It's terrible. A long ago time in this thread I had to differentiate GB's from him though. Some people deserve a lot of respect. It's the way I show it.

ETA

He would want to punch me in the face if he knew I refereed to him as BFF. Of course he knows that would be a really bad idea. He would never do it but I would give him a couple of shots if it made him feel better. He wouldn't though. Man, how many people do you know that walked on life since you were a kid with somebody? We made our beds a long time ago. Rules are something that suckers live by. Not us. Oh #### no. That doesn't mean you have carte' blanche to be an #######. Far from it. We see something that needs to be done. We do it.

I'll allow it

 

[-fish-]

Went to bww. Never been there before. Two friends, their kids, underwearless gf and her kid. Got talked into blazing challenge, which I failed (9 of 12). Ex wife agreed to drop my daughter off there. Since she's from buffalo, she thought blazing challenge would be doable, so she tried it. Got 8 of 12 down. I've been drunk for about 48 hours. Love you.

So you're doing BWW's blazing challenge with your pantyless GF, your daughter and your wife?

Future exwife, pantyless broad, guy.

I meant to type "ex" in front of "wife".

Yep. Daughter, commando gf and ex wife at the same table

 

[DA RAIDERS]

I dated 2 chick that rarely wore underwear. dirty girls, both great in the sack.

 

[T Bell]

I dated 2 chick that rarely wore underwear. dirty girls, both great in the sack.

Probably a good sexual litmus test actually.

 

[strykerpks]

####### daylight savings. It's 10:00 pm on a school night and my kid can't sleep. It's not helping that my ex has some rats living in her attic which I've been helping to lay traps for and he's all concerned about them. I told him to start thinking about building the perfect house in Minecraft ( ) to occupy his mind. I need another drink.

My son usually wakes up around 7 and naps from about noon to 2-ish. Today he woke up at 8:30 (not so bad with the time change), but then slept from 1-4 and still went down at 7:30. Daddy likes his sleep on the weekends so I think he's taking a page out of my book.

About that drink.....

I'm sipping straight vodka. I keep the bottle in my freezer so I don't have ice cubes getting in the way. Normally I have some olives and olive juice in there too, but tonight, no.

Just beer here