St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Good news, glad your son is okay. Yikes that is scary ####.
Abe, sorry about the window too. Sounds like something stupid I would do.
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GM's thread about nothing (43 Viewers)
- Thread starter General Malaise
- Start date
Abe, sorry about the window too. Sounds like something stupid I would do.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Rude, our Blues are tearing them up. Maybe this will finally be their year.
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
T Bell
Footballguy
:cardtoforehead:
Karnac: "Laying the pipe-"
Ed: "LAYING THE PIPE!"
Karnac: :sidewaysglance:
...
T Bell
Footballguy
Somewhat surprising, but lucky for you and you can be sure that they'll be getting it back out of him.
I'm glad your son's ok.
Saturday night is a bit of a blur for me, with bits and pieces embedded in my memory. Went to the Portland Timbers home opener with my ex-BIL and by the time we made it to our seats, I was probably 8 beers and several tokes into the night. I kept the pace up all game long as it was cold and wet and I figured the best course of action was to warm myself internally with more beer.
For some reason, and I'm not sure why, I was not in the stadium when the Timbers scored the tying goal. I think I was outside bumming smokes and passing my pipe around to strangers like I was an Indian trying to make peace with settlers. By the time my BIL exited the stadium and found me, I was lit up like a Tokyo skyscraper and swaying back and forth to an invisible band. We attempted to follow a large crowd of revelers into a bar across the street - a bar we were at before the game. I was politely asked not to come inside.
BIL and I decide to head back to our side of town but instead of going home, we think the neighborhood strip club is a good option. I've tried like hell to avoid this place over the last year and change, but in my state of mind, I would have agreed to just about anything. Channeling my very best SLB, I was able to get us into the place without paying a cover and despite the fact that I was not welcome at a bar near the stadium, this place welcomed me with open arms. And why wouldn't they? A drunk GM is a money dropping GM.
The club has a back patio with heat lamps and pool tables. It's a great place to mingle and bum smokes from the strippers. Also not a bad place to find a stripper who would very much like to join you for some video poker action. In fact, I would say it is probably the VERY best place in the world to meet a stripper who wants to join you in some video poker using your money, hitting a straight flush, printing the winning ticket out of the machine for several hundred dollars and then promising to cash it out right after her set with an even stronger promise to make sure I get my half of the loot.
I think you all know where this is going. Said stripper who hit a straight flush, printed out the winning ticket and hurried off to the dressing room but never emerged to dance her set. In fact, she never emerged again. My BIL said he had to go home. "Go home", I told him. "I'll walk home later. This girl has a big winning ticket and will give me the cash just as soon as she gets done with her set. She PROMISED me this". He leaves. I stay. It's getting late. I'm watching the dressing room like there's a fugitive inside and I'm her bounty hunter. I begin to ask questions from other strippers and the bartender....but I don't know her name. I try to describe her to the bartender...."Uh, she's wearing a short skirt, has dirty blonde hair, a few tattoos, really big boobs"......bartender says "Honey, you just described every girl in this place".
I'm ready for the Mike Mills story now, Tanner.
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Yeah. We got the police report a couple of days ago. Guy actually said to the cops "I am intoxicated...I shouldn't have been driving." He also refused to consent to a BAC test "You can take my license. I don't care. I'm not going to take any test unless I have my lawyer here."
Not to mention that he crashed into my car, backed up, and then did it again. He also drove about 1.5 miles, at about 65 mph, with steam/smoke pouring out from under his hood.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
White guy. From what I can tell from doing some sleuthing he works for some real estate/land/title company or some crap like that. Maybe IT/computer related.
T Bell
Footballguy
Does your local PD publicize booking photos?
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
Pretty awesome to admit to being drunk but refuse the test. Nice job Einstein!
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
I forgot they took out picture at dinner Saturday night. 
Pic posted on FB if you're interested.
Pic posted on FB if you're interested.
YSR
Footballguy
A high-end prostitute, for governors, or athletes.One could read this and assume she's some sort of prostitute. And I mean that in the nicest possible way. Like she's one of them fancy prostitutes.Mrs SLB just found out she got her dream job.* a million.
It's a really nice privately owned place in the ritzy part of town. It's full time but the hours will allow her to be home well before the boys get home from school. Pay is better than her current position too. I'm so freaking happy right now.
One more step towards retirement for me beotchs!!!
kevzilla
Footballguy
belljr
Footballguy
what is shift change at mcdonalds..Was just in a meeting where a black gentleman used the word "reneged".
ETA: And the second syllable did NOT rhyme with "begged".
:racist:
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
As long as I get my turn and she doesn't get Zooksaids.A high-end prostitute, for governors, or athletes.One could read this and assume she's some sort of prostitute. And I mean that in the nicest possible way. Like she's one of them fancy prostitutes.Mrs SLB just found out she got her dream job.
It's a really nice privately owned place in the ritzy part of town. It's full time but the hours will allow her to be home well before the boys get home from school. Pay is better than her current position too. I'm so freaking happy right now.
One more step towards retirement for me beotchs!!!
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Abraham
Footballguy
Good Posting Judge
Footballguy
This oughta be fun to watch.
#ShoshisTheYellowKing
#ShoshisTheYellowKing
belljr
Footballguy
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
lol
Drifter
Footballguy
I first read that as:
I guess I forgot to mention that the night we got home from Vegas some idiot crashed my Impala while my son was driving it.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
I've decided to order a pizza to celebrate Mrs. SLB's new job. I go to the recycling container to see if there were any coupons when I notice a $4200, live, check that somehow got thrown in there.
EVERYTHING IS COMING UP MILHOUSE!!
EVERYTHING IS COMING UP MILHOUSE!!
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Limp Ditka
Footballguy
Henry Ford
Footballguy
I don't think I've ever lost track of a check for $4000.
DA RAIDERS
Footballguy
for rlz
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Oh I didn't lose track of it. It came in the mail and got mixed in with the junk. I didn't even know it arrived.
St. Louis Bob
Footballguy
Ricky Henderson was like that too. Oh and Ty Webb.
Mr.Pack
Footballguy
shuke
Black Ice Skeptic
Awesome, buddy.St. Louis Bob said:Mrs SLB just found out she got her dream job.
It's a really nice privately owned place in the ritzy part of town. It's full time but the hours will allow her to be home well before the boys get home from school. Pay is better than her current position too. I'm so freaking happy right now.
One more step towards retirement for me beotchs!!!
T Bell
Footballguy
BTW, I forgot to thank whoever the tool was who posted YouTube link to the B-52's Rock Lobster yesterday. I clicked it within earshot of my six-year old and he fell in love with the song, requesting repeated play.
So as a consequence I've had one of the more meaningless songs ever written stuck in my head all day.
So as a consequence I've had one of the more meaningless songs ever written stuck in my head all day.
Mr.Pack
Footballguy
Congrats to MrsSLBSt. Louis Bob said:I'm so proud of her. She must have interviewed at 8 or 9 places with most of them offering her a position, but she held out until she found something about as perfect as possible with the kids and everything. Man, this really takes a load off my mind.Uruk-Hai said:Now THIS I can catch up on. Well done, Mrs SLB & family!St. Louis Bob said:Mrs SLB just found out she got her dream job.
It's a really nice privately owned place in the ritzy part of town. It's full time but the hours will allow her to be home well before the boys get home from school. Pay is better than her current position too. I'm so freaking happy right now.
One more step towards retirement for me beotchs!!!
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
T Bell
Footballguy
GroveDiesel
Footballguy
How is that even possible? That version with just the vocals sounds like a demonic orgy.
Also, sorry. If it makes you feel better, my 4 year old daughter has "sung" the new song they learned at school this week about 784 times tonight:
"C is a consonant, a letter of the alphabet!"
Just that line. Over and over and over.
Mr.Pack
Footballguy
So I was talking to someone from H&R Block, and she mentioned something about a couple of credits for college aged kids. I said I didn't take those credits, because 1, We haven't started paying the loans back, and c, I used TaxACT and they didn't take me down that road.
So she did one of those 2nd looks.
Looks like I'll be getting approx $6k back combined from those 3 years.
So she did one of those 2nd looks.
Looks like I'll be getting approx $6k back combined from those 3 years.
Ignoramus
Footballguy
Very nice. :thumbsup:So I was talking to someone from H&R Block, and she mentioned something about a couple of credits for college aged kids. I said I didn't take those credits, because 1, We haven't started paying the loans back, and c, I used TaxACT and they didn't take me down that road.
So she did one of those 2nd looks.
Looks like I'll be getting approx $6k back combined from those 3 years.
Homer J Simpson
I don't push
College girls are awesome.So I was talking to someone from H&R Block, and she mentioned something about a couple of credits for college aged kids. I said I didn't take those credits, because 1, We haven't started paying the loans back, and c, I used TaxACT and they didn't take me down that road.
So she did one of those 2nd looks.
Looks like I'll be getting approx $6k back combined from those 3 years.
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