GM's thread about nothing (68 Viewers)

[Mr. Pickles]

My wife is trying to send me a message...

Cute!

(you do have fat hands, hubs)

 

[mr roboto]

My wife is trying to send me a message...

Was really excited for the shot payoff at the end of this one.

Sorry. Maybe another night. I've got a massive headache.

That's what she said, CH.

I still love you TRE.

 

[mr roboto]

My wife is trying to send me a message...

Cute!

(you do have fat hands, hubs)

Its the camera angle!

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Parental bragging moment - my 16-year-old son just found out he's been selected for a State Department-backed scholarship to study Arabic in Morocco for two months this summer. It's through something called the National Security Language Initiative, which the government created to get more Americans speaking 7 key languages - Arabic, Chinese, Russian, Korean, Turkish, Hindi, and Persian.

The program materials aren't clear about whether they begin recruiting him as a spy now, or if they wait until college.

My 7 year old talks in some made up language to my neighbor's dog. Also started referring to himself as "Fart King". Maybe I should start looking into this National Security Language Initiative thingy for him.

Seconds after my alarm went off this morning, Cal was in my room. "Dad, I think Dylan is going through a butt phase". Still half asleep I ask him what he's talking about. "All he likes to do is fart on people."

Our boys are going to get along just fine.

Guys...guys...it doesn't get any better.

This story was related to me by my 21 year-old-son the other day:

So I'm upstairs and [19 year old son] is downstairs. He yells to me "21! Get down here! [poop]'s going down!" I yell back "what the hell are you talking about?" 19 comes back with "Just get down here! There's some sort of giant wasp or some [crap] flying around!"

So I put on my shoes just in case it really is something serious. I go downstairs and 19 is holding two fly-swatters like one of those Filipino stick fighters. So I ask him what is going on. He says "Look over by the sliding glass door. There's like a big-### hornet or something flying between the glass and the blinds. It's huge!"

Now I can hear some buzzing but it isn't that loud. But I did see a shadow on the blinds and, in all fairness, it did look like something kinda big flying against the glass. Like maybe a wasp or one of those black bumblebees.

19 is all tensed up and wielding his flyswatters. I told him I was going to move the blinds to see what it was. He says "Hold on. Let me get ready. Wait, let me move over here. No! Wait! Let me get over by the couch instead. OK, ok, ok....go!" So I move the blinds.

It's a bee. Just a regular honeybee. Like you'd see on a flower or Cheerios box. A ####ing bee. I slid the door open and it flew out.

Stupid kids. I could see Cal doing this. Dylan would be trying to figure out if it was alright to eat the bee.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

My kid hasn't pooped since Friday. She's in agony. I'm doing everything the nurse said to do and hoping today is the day. TPW appreciated.

A well placed thermometer always did the trick for my kids, just make sure the soft serve ice cream machine is pointed away from you, and the walls are covered in plastic.

My kid hasn't pooped since Friday. She's in agony. I'm doing everything the nurse said to do and hoping today is the day. TPW appreciated.

Put a thermometer in her butt, pull it out, and stand back, s.

Stick it in again, babe. I still feel like I got a fever. /Jeff

 

[T Bell]

Parental bragging moment - my 16-year-old son just found out he's been selected for a State Department-backed scholarship to study Arabic in Morocco for two months this summer. It's through something called the National Security Language Initiative, which the government created to get more Americans speaking 7 key languages - Arabic, Chinese, Russian, Korean, Turkish, Hindi, and Persian.

The program materials aren't clear about whether they begin recruiting him as a spy now, or if they wait until college.

My 7 year old talks in some made up language to my neighbor's dog. Also started referring to himself as "Fart King". Maybe I should start looking into this National Security Language Initiative thingy for him.

Seconds after my alarm went off this morning, Cal was in my room. "Dad, I think Dylan is going through a butt phase". Still half asleep I ask him what he's talking about. "All he likes to do is fart on people."

Our boys are going to get along just fine.

Guys...guys...it doesn't get any better.

This story was related to me by my 21 year-old-son the other day:

So I'm upstairs and [19 year old son] is downstairs. He yells to me "21! Get down here! [poop]'s going down!" I yell back "what the hell are you talking about?" 19 comes back with "Just get down here! There's some sort of giant wasp or some [crap] flying around!"

So I put on my shoes just in case it really is something serious. I go downstairs and 19 is holding two fly-swatters like one of those Filipino stick fighters. So I ask him what is going on. He says "Look over by the sliding glass door. There's like a big-### hornet or something flying between the glass and the blinds. It's huge!"

Now I can hear some buzzing but it isn't that loud. But I did see a shadow on the blinds and, in all fairness, it did look like something kinda big flying against the glass. Like maybe a wasp or one of those black bumblebees.

19 is all tensed up and wielding his flyswatters. I told him I was going to move the blinds to see what it was. He says "Hold on. Let me get ready. Wait, let me move over here. No! Wait! Let me get over by the couch instead. OK, ok, ok....go!" So I move the blinds.

It's a bee. Just a regular honeybee. Like you'd see on a flower or Cheerios box. A ####ing bee. I slid the door open and it flew out.

Tanner

 

[shuke]

My diet yesterday was nothing but Bloody Mary garnish.

Same here.

Sobelman's in Milwaukee

http://www.milwaukeesbestburgers.com/bloody.html

Looks delicious.

 

[Limp Ditka]

 

[shuke]

anyone else taking off thursday and friday afternoons to watch games

I have a session I'm running for a team til 3 on Thursday, but am going to try to end it early and while they are working, I'll be watching on my ipad.

Will be at O'bryon's at noon.

 

[shuke]

Someone text Doctor Detroit and tell him he's holding up the bracket draft TIA

Just joined my first one today and am now freaking out about all the money I'm going to lose.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

My wife is trying to send me a message...

Awwwww

 

[Henry Ford]

I still remember every single time I've done something that I was ashamed.

You don't drink enough

Oh, I do.

Drinking causes a lot of these incidents...

That's why it's important to only drink alone.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Parental bragging moment - my 16-year-old son just found out he's been selected for a State Department-backed scholarship to study Arabic in Morocco for two months this summer. It's through something called the National Security Language Initiative, which the government created to get more Americans speaking 7 key languages - Arabic, Chinese, Russian, Korean, Turkish, Hindi, and Persian.

The program materials aren't clear about whether they begin recruiting him as a spy now, or if they wait until college.

My 7 year old talks in some made up language to my neighbor's dog. Also started referring to himself as "Fart King". Maybe I should start looking into this National Security Language Initiative thingy for him.

Seconds after my alarm went off this morning, Cal was in my room. "Dad, I think Dylan is going through a butt phase". Still half asleep I ask him what he's talking about. "All he likes to do is fart on people."

Our boys are going to get along just fine.

Guys...guys...it doesn't get any better.

This story was related to me by my 21 year-old-son the other day:

So I'm upstairs and [19 year old son] is downstairs. He yells to me "21! Get down here! [poop]'s going down!" I yell back "what the hell are you talking about?" 19 comes back with "Just get down here! There's some sort of giant wasp or some [crap] flying around!"

So I put on my shoes just in case it really is something serious. I go downstairs and 19 is holding two fly-swatters like one of those Filipino stick fighters. So I ask him what is going on. He says "Look over by the sliding glass door. There's like a big-### hornet or something flying between the glass and the blinds. It's huge!"

Now I can hear some buzzing but it isn't that loud. But I did see a shadow on the blinds and, in all fairness, it did look like something kinda big flying against the glass. Like maybe a wasp or one of those black bumblebees.

19 is all tensed up and wielding his flyswatters. I told him I was going to move the blinds to see what it was. He says "Hold on. Let me get ready. Wait, let me move over here. No! Wait! Let me get over by the couch instead. OK, ok, ok....go!" So I move the blinds.

It's a bee. Just a regular honeybee. Like you'd see on a flower or Cheerios box. A ####ing bee. I slid the door open and it flew out.

Tanner

 

[shuke]

Related: I'll be able to watch all the games all day Thursday and Friday.

:heavybreathing:

OH. MY. GOD.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

I went to get a piece of smoked salmon and salad for lunch but hate this particular location because the salad bar always has borderline fresh vegetables and the salmon is always considerably smaller than other locations.

Sure enough, salad bar sucky. So I make a small salad with what looks fresh and head to the deli. Much to my surprise there are 4 large pieces of smoked salmon in the case. One is much bigger than the rest and by far the largest I've ever seen. Score! So I pull my number and hope that one of the people in front of my don't take "my" piece. That's when a gal in her mid 50's and a "kid" ( 17? 25?) walk up to the hot case and are waiting patiently. They call my number and I ask for the large piece of fish. The gal turns, smiles at me, then says to the kid and "says sorry son, this man took the piece you wanted. What piece would you like?". The deli worker then asks me what slice I would like, giving me another out and I still asked for the big one. I was so hungry I wasn't thinking straight.

As I was checking out it occurred to me that the kid was standing away from the rest of the deli crowd, all on his own, just like I've watched Cal do many times before. At that point I was feeling pretty bad about my lack of judgment and considered walking back to them and giving them my salmon. Then again in the as I was walking out the door and then again in my car.

I can't tell you how bad I feel right now. What a fucking asshole I am. :(

Don't even worry about it. After work yesterday I stopped by a CVS Pharmacy to pick up some printer paper which I desperately need for home. I'm wearing my suit pants, unbottoned dress shirt with the tie removed and cuff links, along with my aviators.

I'm walking from my car to the front door when this homeless black guy calls out moderately loudly to me, "Hey, can you spare any change?"

I'm already walking briskly and I'm in a hurry to get home thinking about more stuff I need to do, plus I'm feeling my oats a little from having a good law-day, so I just ignore him and keep walking. I was irritated at being hassled to be honest.

A second later he calls out loudly, "HEY, CAN YOU SPARE ANY CHANGE?"

I didn't break stride and just turned my head to look him in the eye and from about 50 feet away said firmly and fairly loudly, "No." There was a definite "#### you!" edge to my voice.

I normally would say something like, "No, sorry man, don't have any change" or, "Not today", or whatever, but I just couldn't say anything other than, "No."

I felt like a ####. Plus I had to walk past his sorry ### on the way back to my car.

Got my printer paper though.

I was at the same grocer couple of weeks ago where I saw a guy that made my defense systems go up. White dude, lates 30's early 40's. left eye was black and blue like he just got punched recently, and rather fit although he looked strung out. I'm not in the city where such a thing would be somewhat normal so I'm on full "just in case" mode.

I have to engage him in some way, he looked really muggy, so I just looked him dead in the eyes and said how ya doin'. He says "hi sir!". I didn't like turning my back on him but I proceed to enter the place to get my rather predictable lunch these days. What the mother #### has happened to me.

As I'm leaving, I can see him out of the corner of my eye begin to follow me. I turn, he stops, then says "you seem really cool, do you have any spare change?". I but was at the same time. Lucky for him I paid in cash and did have change. That I gave him.

Really cool story about copy paper though. I love stories about copy paper.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

My wife is trying to send me a message...

Awwwww

 

[shuke]

I went to get a piece of smoked salmon and salad for lunch but hate this particular location because the salad bar always has borderline fresh vegetables and the salmon is always considerably smaller than other locations.

Sure enough, salad bar sucky. So I make a small salad with what looks fresh and head to the deli. Much to my surprise there are 4 large pieces of smoked salmon in the case. One is much bigger than the rest and by far the largest I've ever seen. Score! So I pull my number and hope that one of the people in front of my don't take "my" piece. That's when a gal in her mid 50's and a "kid" ( 17? 25?) walk up to the hot case and are waiting patiently. They call my number and I ask for the large piece of fish. The gal turns, smiles at me, then says to the kid and "says sorry son, this man took the piece you wanted. What piece would you like?". The deli worker then asks me what slice I would like, giving me another out and I still asked for the big one. I was so hungry I wasn't thinking straight.

As I was checking out it occurred to me that the kid was standing away from the rest of the deli crowd, all on his own, just like I've watched Cal do many times before. At that point I was feeling pretty bad about my lack of judgment and considered walking back to them and giving them my salmon. Then again in the as I was walking out the door and then again in my car.

I can't tell you how bad I feel right now. What a fucking asshole I am. :(

You're being a little tough on yourself here. Try to imagine the kid's off on his own because he's a serial killer.

Regardless if the kid is special needs or not, what kind of man takes the big piece? Who the #### cares. I've been on the other side many times and it was like "I won" or something. My competitive side completely took over. I'm really disgusted with myself right now.

Ease up, kid. You do more good in this world than the next 10 of us combined.

You probably would have made him self-conscious about being "special" if you let him have it.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Lousy Shuke.

Also, #### those plastic bags to hell. It's apparent that the general population isn't ready for them yet. You have no freaking idea how many I've pulled out of trees (2) because some careless ########## can't dispose of them properly.

 

[shuke]

Not giving to a homeless guy doesn't make you an #######.

The cuff links and aviators do.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Related: I'll be able to watch all the games all day Thursday and Friday.

:heavybreathing:

OH. MY. GOD.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

You probably would have made him self-conscious about being "special" if you let him have it.

Thanks GB, and thanks to all of you.

When I was younger I had a really tough time between right and wrong. Some people might still stay that. I wouldn't want to be those people right now.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

1. I don't like salmon

2. Seattle sounds like my kind of place. I would have no problem living somewhere with a lot of rain.

3. Baby Romo honk out a dirt-snake yet?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Related: I'll be able to watch all the games all day Thursday and Friday.

:heavybreathing:

OH. MY. GOD.

LINK

 

[St. Louis Bob]

1. I don't like salmon

2. Seattle sounds like my kind of place. I would have no problem living somewhere with a lot of rain.

3. Baby Romo honk out a dirt-snake yet?

Fresh smoked salmon is really good, shmatchz. Agree with 2 & 3 though.

 

[-fish-]

1. I don't like salmon

2. Seattle sounds like my kind of place. I would have no problem living somewhere with a lot of rain.

3. Baby Romo honk out a dirt-snake yet?

1 and 2 don't really work well together. half the menu items here are salmon based.

and it rains helicopters.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

1. I don't like salmon

2. Seattle sounds like my kind of place. I would have no problem living somewhere with a lot of rain.

3. Baby Romo honk out a dirt-snake yet?

1 and 2 don't really work well together. half the menu items here are salmon based.

and it rains helicopters.

That still leaves the other half of the menu to order from, no?

 

[St. Louis Bob]

The cool thing aboot Mrs. SLB working is I get to do things like take Cal to the orthodontist tomorrow. I've wanted this account forever since they've been draining my bank account, so I'm making this a sales call. I've had pretty decent success with this. Our pediatrician, their daycare,the vet and now, as of last week, my town buys from me. Man, I wish I had a grown up job these days.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Sniper 1

Sniper 2

Notebook

Repost

All SFW. 1 cat, no doges

Semi-NSFW bonus gif: Hayden Panaratiara

 

[Limp Ditka]

Big fan of sniper shtick

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Big fan of Hayden Paneraterra.

 

[Mr. Pickles]

Semi-NSFW bonus gif: Hayden Panaratiara

Well, there goes my night.

 

[Good Posting Judge]

In no way does she seem unnerved by that much jizz.

 

[General Malaise]

My diet yesterday was nothing but Bloody Mary garnish.

Same here.

Sobelman's in Milwaukee

http://www.milwaukeesbestburgers.com/bloody.html

Looks delicious.

Gets me every time...

 

[YSR]

3. Baby Romo honk out a dirt-snake yet?

 

[Homer J Simpson]

3. Baby Romo honk out a dirt-snake yet?

Have you tried squeezing her?

 

[Captain Quinoa]

Notebook

First comment made me giggle

 

[Otis]

Parental bragging moment - my 16-year-old son just found out he's been selected for a State Department-backed scholarship to study Arabic in Morocco for two months this summer. It's through something called the National Security Language Initiative, which the government created to get more Americans speaking 7 key languages - Arabic, Chinese, Russian, Korean, Turkish, Hindi, and Persian.

The program materials aren't clear about whether they begin recruiting him as a spy now, or if they wait until college.

My 7 year old talks in some made up language to my neighbor's dog. Also started referring to himself as "Fart King". Maybe I should start looking into this National Security Language Initiative thingy for him.

Seconds after my alarm went off this morning, Cal was in my room. "Dad, I think Dylan is going through a butt phase". Still half asleep I ask him what he's talking about. "All he likes to do is fart on people."

Our boys are going to get along just fine.

Guys...guys...it doesn't get any better.

This story was related to me by my 21 year-old-son the other day:

So I'm upstairs and [19 year old son] is downstairs. He yells to me "21! Get down here! [poop]'s going down!" I yell back "what the hell are you talking about?" 19 comes back with "Just get down here! There's some sort of giant wasp or some [crap] flying around!"

So I put on my shoes just in case it really is something serious. I go downstairs and 19 is holding two fly-swatters like one of those Filipino stick fighters. So I ask him what is going on. He says "Look over by the sliding glass door. There's like a big-### hornet or something flying between the glass and the blinds. It's huge!"

Now I can hear some buzzing but it isn't that loud. But I did see a shadow on the blinds and, in all fairness, it did look like something kinda big flying against the glass. Like maybe a wasp or one of those black bumblebees.

19 is all tensed up and wielding his flyswatters. I told him I was going to move the blinds to see what it was. He says "Hold on. Let me get ready. Wait, let me move over here. No! Wait! Let me get over by the couch instead. OK, ok, ok....go!" So I move the blinds.

It's a bee. Just a regular honeybee. Like you'd see on a flower or Cheerios box. A ####ing bee. I slid the door open and it flew out.

Stupid kids. I could see Cal doing this. Dylan would be trying to figure out if it was alright to eat the bee.

And Tanner you have a 21 year old? Christ you must be like a hundred.

 

[Otis]

Related: I'll be able to watch all the games all day Thursday and Friday.

:heavybreathing:

OH. MY. GOD.

 

[kevzilla]

Tanner you have a 21 year old? Christ you must be like a hundred.

He's looking forward to that Noah movie, or has he calls it, The Neighbors.

 

[YSR]

3. Baby Romo honk out a dirt-snake yet?

Have you tried squeezing her?

 

[pricklypete]

My diet yesterday was nothing but Bloody Mary garnish.

Same here.

Sobelman's in Milwaukee

http://www.milwaukeesbestburgers.com/bloody.html

Looks delicious.

 

[shuke]

My diet yesterday was nothing but Bloody Mary garnish.

Same here.

Sobelman's in Milwaukee

http://www.milwaukeesbestburgers.com/bloody.html

Looks delicious.

That's actually at the Milwaukee airport. No idea if it was a Sobleman's.

 

[shuke]

My diet yesterday was nothing but Bloody Mary garnish.

Same here.

Sobelman's in Milwaukee

http://www.milwaukeesbestburgers.com/bloody.html

Looks delicious.

That's actually at the Milwaukee airport. No idea if it was a Sobleman's.

Actually maybe Minneapolis. It's all the same.

 

[mr roboto]

My diet yesterday was nothing but Bloody Mary garnish.

Same here.

Sobelman's in Milwaukee

http://www.milwaukeesbestburgers.com/bloody.html

Looks delicious.

That's actually at the Milwaukee airport. No idea if it was a Sobleman's.

Actually maybe Minneapolis. It's all the same.

Oh #### you. Take that #### back ### hole.

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

My wife is trying to send me a message...

Awwwww

Well done mr. roboto! Kids are way cute.

Hopefully someday soon we can see another cute video from..

( •_•)>⌐■-■


(⌐■_■)

Jesse's girls.

 

[Fuller]

for the chess guys -

Magnus Carlsen is doing an AMA on reddit right now

 

[Annyong]

All the video's of my kids end up with one of them eventually throwing something at the other one.

 

[mr roboto]

My wife is trying to send me a message...

Awwwww

Well done mr. roboto! Kids are way cute.

Hopefully someday soon we can see another cute video from..

( _)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

Jesse's girls.

That song is the bane of my existence.

 

[YSR]

A big "thank you" to the makers of Pedia Lax. We have achieved poop. It was the most agonizing 2 minutes of her life, it seemed, and it was horrible to witness - but she's now playing happily in her exersaucer. She's a new kid.

Thanks for all of the TPWs.

 

[Annyong]

A big "thank you" to the makers of Pedia Lax. We have achieved poop. It was the most agonizing 2 minutes of her life, it seemed, and it was horrible to witness - but she's now playing happily in her exersaucer. She's a new kid.

Thanks for all of the TPWs.

Was it an angry poop?