Proper work dump etiquette
1. Mercy flush.
2. If you crap for more than five minutes more than once a day, crap in different bathrooms.
3. Once in a while, bring a newspaper to work. When you get to the office, slide the sports page under one stall and the rest under the other. If there are three stalls, put the funny pages under the third stall door.
4. Don't make a tp nest. Use the MDJ or make a small dong protector.
5. No cell phone use except for Internet. If you make a phone call from the John it had better be an empty bathroom and a friend who would understand hearing a flush in the background because I will flush repeatedly until you hang up or leave.
6.if the stalls are full, leave. Don't wait. This isn't a ####### mall parking lot at Christmas. If you have to ####, #### elsewhere.
7. If someone else starts wiping just as you are ready to start wiping, wait and let them finish. Wipe while they wash.
8. This is because you never make eye contact with a fellow ####ter. Ever.
9. And don't go peeking through that crack in the door either. They can see you and it's weird.
10. And please, if it's a serious ####, mercy flush.