GM's thread about nothing (46 Viewers)

[St. Louis Bob]

When I was 13, my family went on a big europe trip.

When I was 13 I finally got a new bike. For Christmas.

Life insurance: Enough that your family isn't stuck living in a cardboard box. Not so much that your wife immediately becomes more attractive to other men.

There's a reason twice as much life insurance is taken out on her, than me.

I've got two 20-year terms, but they ain't going to last into the teenage years of the little kids, so I need more. My existing rates are de minimis, but the years haven't been too kind to me so I'm going to have to employ SLB's sober spring and summer, Bentley's running program, one of Cos' crazy caveman diets and perhaps a borrowed prostate to get reasonable term rates at this point in life.

Also, once I get set up with moar, I'm going to start storm chasing, swimming next to oil tankers and lipping off to people who don't take kindly to albino wise acres.

Or just become closer friends with SLB.

Not now that he's sober. FTN.

Sobriety is why all of the former sots hate life and themselves. It has been a long month already. See you later, I'm leaving for that cocktail party with new company.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/people-who-drink-alcohol-outlive-those-who-abstain-study-shows-8995879.html

Mights as well call it Kill Yourself February.

Instead, ‘moderate’ drinking, defined as one to three drinks per day,

This isn't AA, this is AA if they were a little more realistic. It's a test of will to improve liver health and lower tolerance, for a whole month.

Sixty-nine per cent of the participants who abstained from drinking alcohol died during the 20 year observation period, in comparison to 60 per cent of the heavy drinkers. Only 41 per cent of moderate drinkers died within this time frame.

A moderate drinker is 3 drinks, what's a heavy drinker, five drinks? Five shots of whiskey is one drink for me. Do they have any studies on super uber heavy drinkers?

"I only drink Moderately, and in fact I have a case of it in the car." - Dean Martin

ALL MY LIKES!!! If I had any left.

 

[El Floppo]

When I was 13, my family went on a big europe trip.

When I was 13 I finally got a new bike. For Christmas.

LOOK AT ME I'M NOT JEWISH

 

[T Bell]

When I was 13, my family went on a big europe trip.

When I was 13 I finally got a new bike. For Christmas.

LOOK AT ME I'M NOT JEWISH

I know!

 

[Bob Sacamano]

A non law-related company I know is looking to sell. They contacted me because I have a lot of contacts in this industry and know the owners of many of their competitors. At the time, they discussed that they would be willing to pay me a referral fee. I've known these people a long time, so there is no firm agreement in place.

I put out some feelers and found 3 potential buyers.

The owners of the selling company want to know what I'm asking for the referral fee. I only expect a fee if they actually sell, but I have no idea what it would be.

What's a referral for a buyer worth? Flat fee, calculated on a percentage of the purchase price? A bottle of good bourbon?

"Some day, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day, consider this acquisition a gift on Rude and Costco's wedding day."

 

[DA RAIDERS]

Well then....I think what we have here is not so much a super store as it is a massive serial killer! Save the baby animals, kill all the humans. NEAT. STORE.

your beloved Rite Aid doesn't sell those things? would you ever actually support a store that didn't sell booze? you already told us you boycott restaurants that don't serve beer.

espn better be on the tv too!

 

[DA RAIDERS]

What if the baby animals taste delicious?

top of the food chain baby!

 

[Ignoramus]

IIRC, Rose veal in the UK (generally called young beef in Europe), is from calves raised on farms in association with the UK Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals' Freedom Food programme.

I might be wrong, but I believe the name "rose veal" comes from its pink colour, which is a result of the calves being slaughtered at or after 35 weeks (8 months up to 12 months).

I prefer Bob veal...those calves never had a chance

Before googling, I honestly thought this was a STLBob joke.

It wasn't?

 

[Osaurus]

So provolone on baby cow good? No provolone bad? So much to learn about the ways of bovine delicacies and Costco

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

So provolone on baby cow good?

Hold up. You support the yanking of innocent animal ### ties?

 

[bostonfred]

So provolone on baby cow good?

Hold up. You support the yanking of innocent animal ### ties?

support like subscribe to a website about it? Not anymore. After a while, anything gets stale. But I'm not morally opposed.

 

[Zow]

JC sounds a lot like a psycho Ex.

Old but still rules

Jesus christ

 

[Osaurus]

So provolone on baby cow good?

Hold up. You support the yanking of innocent animal ### ties?

Of course

 

[kevzilla]

So provolone on baby cow good?

Hold up. You support the yanking of innocent animal ### ties?

Of course

Hell, I'm OK with it if the animal is not so innocent, and dances under the name Cheyenne.

 

[krista4]

Thinking we might join the yacht club. Sure, we don't own a boat, but that way we can meet a lot of people who do.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Thinking we might join the yacht club. Sure, we don't own a boat, but that way we can meet a lot of people who do.

That's why I might join the Women's Auxiliary. I don't have a ######, but I can meet a lot of people who do.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

There's a place called the Yacht Club near my work where the waitresses dress like whores...

Gonna have to hit it up for lunch again soon

 

[St. Louis Bob]

When I was 13, my family went on a big europe trip.

When I was 13 I finally got a new bike. For Christmas.

LOOK AT ME I'M NOT JEWISH

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Made it through the cocktail party without a drink. It was more than difficult to do because they had a tub with about 20 bottles of, water then 4 tubs with about 300 beers. Good beers too, I haven't even heard of most of them. There were about 50 people in attendance I guess.

The good news in no particular order:

The CFO smokes cigs

Everybody is a drunk including head of HR (this is pretty common in this industry)

The CEO told me personally that they were going to go out of their way to make me happy

I got a couple of free sandwiches

They "buddied" everybody up with somebody, they put me with the #1 producer there

Some of the other sales reps confirmed you NEVER have to go to the office if you don't want to

They are giving me an office instead of a cube

 

[El Floppo]

Did they give you someplace to store your sandwich hoard?

Congrats on the no booze thing?

 

[El Floppo]

Oh, and the office too.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Now I want a sandwich.

 

[fdas2]

Now I want a sandwich.

Go get a meatball sub

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Now I want a sandwich.

Go get a meatball sub

Now I want Chipotle.

 

[fdas2]

Now I want a sandwich.

Go get a meatball sub

Now I want Chipotle.

Chipotle needs queso and jalapenos

 

[El Floppo]

Cheese.

 

[UOFI_316]

Now I want a sandwich.

Go get a meatball sub

Now I want Chipotle.

Odd breakfast choice

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Now I want a sandwich.

Go get a meatball sub

Now I want Chipotle.

Odd breakfast choice

It's lunchtime, weirdo.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Now I want a sandwich.

Go get a meatball sub

Now I want Chipotle.

Chipotle needs queso and jalapenos

YOUR FACE NEEDS QUESO AND JALAPENOS!!!

 

[fdas2]

Now I want a sandwich.

Go get a meatball sub

Now I want Chipotle.

Chipotle needs queso and jalapenos

YOUR FACE NEEDS QUESO AND JALAPENOS!!!

I would lick myself ALL DAY LONG

 

[UOFI_316]

Now I want a sandwich.

Go get a meatball sub

Now I want Chipotle.

Chipotle needs queso and jalapenos

YOUR FACE NEEDS QUESO AND JALAPENOS!!!

I would lick myself ALL DAY LONG

If you were a hot dog...and you were starving, would you eat yourself? I know I would! First, I'd smother myself with brown mustard and relish. I'd be so delicious!...So would you?

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Now I want a sandwich.

Go get a meatball sub

Now I want Chipotle.

Chipotle needs queso and jalapenos

YOUR FACE NEEDS QUESO AND JALAPENOS!!!

I would lick myself ALL DAY LONG

We're gonna need a bigger tongue.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Checking in from BWW. It was tasty.

 

[Tecumseh]

Dr Kruszelnicki then described the method by which he had established whether human flatus was germ-laden, or merely malodorous. “I contacted Luke Tennent, a microbiologist in Canberra, and together we devised an experiment. He asked a colleague to break wind directly onto two Petri dishes from a distance of 5 centimetres, first fully clothed, then with his trousers down. Then he observed what happened. Overnight, the second Petri dish sprouted visible lumps of two types of bacteria that are usually found only in the gut and on the skin. But the flatus which had passed through clothing caused no bacteria to sprout, which suggests that clothing acts as a filter.

http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130825220525/mlp/images/2/23/NBC%27s_The_More_You_Know.jpg

ETA:

Our deduction is that the enteric zone in the second Petri dish was caused by the flatus itself, and the splatter ring around that was caused by the sheer velocity of the fart, which blew skin bacteria from the cheeks and blasted it onto the dish.

Enjoy your veal.

 

[Frostillicus]

Checking in from BWW. It was tasty.

What'd you go with?

 

[kevzilla]

Checking in from BWW. It was tasty.

What'd you go with?

Buffalo veal. Duh.

 

[-fish-]

Thinking we might join the yacht club. Sure, we don't own a boat, but that way we can meet a lot of people who do.

step 1 of getting a boat ramp installed. genius!

 

[St. Louis Bob]

Did they give you someplace to store your sandwich hoard?

Congrats on the no booze thing?

I didn't want to hoard sandwiches just yet.

Oh, and the office too.

Thanks

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Checking in from BWW. It was tasty.

What'd you go with?

I was doing work on my iPad while I ate so I didn't want my hands to get all messy. I had the tenders with the Asian Zing sauce on the side. Nice and simple.

 

[Frostillicus]

Checking in from BWW. It was tasty.

What'd you go with?

I was doing work on my iPad while I ate so I didn't want my hands to get all messy. I had the tenders with the Asian Zing sauce on the side. Nice and simple.

Asian Zing is a solid top 3 sauce. Good choice, imo.

 

[Binky The Doormat]

There's a place called the Yacht Club near my work where the waitresses dress like whores...

Gonna have to hit it up for lunch again soon

Yeah, not everything is in a name. We used to drink this Yacht Club for less than $5 a case in college.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Checking in from BWW. It was tasty.

What'd you go with?

I was doing work on my iPad while I ate so I didn't want my hands to get all messy. I had the tenders with the Asian Zing sauce on the side. Nice and simple.

Asian Zing is a solid top 3 sauce. Good choice, imo.

It's an ambitious little sauce but not too presumptuous. Sweet yet bold. Leads with a vigorous introduction to the chili, followed by a faint notion of ginger, and finishes with just the slightest chuchotement of soy.

 

[Binky The Doormat]

Checking in from BWW. It was tasty.

What'd you go with?

I was doing work on my iPad while I ate so I didn't want my hands to get all messy. I had the tenders with the Asian Zing sauce on the side. Nice and simple.

Asian Zing is a solid top 3 sauce. Good choice, imo.

It's an ambitious little sauce but not too presumptuous. Sweet yet bold. Leads with a vigorous introduction to the chili, followed by a faint notion of ginger, and finishes with just the slightest chuchotement of soy.

oui

 

[Frostillicus]

Checking in from BWW. It was tasty.

What'd you go with?

I was doing work on my iPad while I ate so I didn't want my hands to get all messy. I had the tenders with the Asian Zing sauce on the side. Nice and simple.

Asian Zing is a solid top 3 sauce. Good choice, imo.

It's an ambitious little sauce but not too presumptuous. Sweet yet bold. Leads with a vigorous introduction to the chili, followed by a faint notion of ginger, and finishes with just the slightest chuchotement of soy.

Would like but have no likes remaining.

 

[Frostillicus]

Checking in from BWW. It was tasty.

What'd you go with?

I was doing work on my iPad while I ate so I didn't want my hands to get all messy. I had the tenders with the Asian Zing sauce on the side. Nice and simple.

Asian Zing is a solid top 3 sauce. Good choice, imo.

It's an ambitious little sauce but not too presumptuous. Sweet yet bold. Leads with a vigorous introduction to the chili, followed by a faint notion of ginger, and finishes with just the slightest chuchotement of soy.

Would like but have no likes remaining.

####### communists.

 

[UniAlias]

Checking in from BWW. It was tasty.

What'd you go with?

I was doing work on my iPad while I ate so I didn't want my hands to get all messy. I had the tenders with the Asian Zing sauce on the side. Nice and simple.

Asian Zing is a solid top 3 sauce. Good choice, imo.

It's an ambitious little sauce but not too presumptuous. Sweet yet bold. Leads with a vigorous introduction to the chili, followed by a faint notion of ginger, and finishes with just the slightest chuchotement of soy.

Would like but have no likes remaining.

####### communists.

I got you covered, comrade.

 

[Frostillicus]

Checking in from BWW. It was tasty.

What'd you go with?

I was doing work on my iPad while I ate so I didn't want my hands to get all messy. I had the tenders with the Asian Zing sauce on the side. Nice and simple.

Asian Zing is a solid top 3 sauce. Good choice, imo.

It's an ambitious little sauce but not too presumptuous. Sweet yet bold. Leads with a vigorous introduction to the chili, followed by a faint notion of ginger, and finishes with just the slightest chuchotement of soy.

Would like but have no likes remaining.

####### communists.

I got you covered, comrade.

Team work!

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Shruke?

 

[Frostillicus]

Shruke?

He's no Chuke.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

pron ads are ridiculous (semi NSFW)