What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

I'm at my in-laws - ask me anything (trying to stay non-stabby) (1 Viewer)

Deepster said:
I don't mean to hijack this into a political discussion, but this is the exact scenario that is made into a non-issue with legal marijuana. No need for the giant bong hits of the 1970's....but a nice edible chocolate or mint to take the edge off?  No brainer. 

Rank the Rocky movies.

Rocky

Rocky 2

Rocky 3

Rocky 4 

Rocky 5

Rocky Balboa

Creed




 
Click to expand...
Rocky - (9)  big in back in the day (freshman year of college)

Rocky etc.  - I watched them through 4 I think but they all run together.  

 
DallasDMac said:
Man, you are in the area I grew up in. Do your folks watch all the Tribe games?
Click to expand...
No.  FIL has zero interest in sports.  Used to be a giant point of contention at Thanksgivings.  They wouldn't want football on so we could all "visit."

I ended up in the basement watching football all day after the minimal amount of time required "visiting" - per determined by wife.  

 
Binky The Doormat said:
No.  FIL has zero interest in sports.  Used to be a giant point of contention at Thanksgivings.  They wouldn't want football on so we could all "visit."

I ended up in the basement watching football all day after the minimal amount of time required "visiting" - per determined by wife.  
Click to expand...
I am in the same boat on Thanksgiving - in the basement watching football after spending the estimated required time with the extended family. Sometimes my uncle and my father will join me.  My brother, whose house we usually go to, never watches and it's not because he is busy in the kitchen.  My own brother!  I don't know how we are related.

 
Update:

Dinner was excellent.  He got his pick of steak, we had some really good Silver Queen (another Willie band name idea) white sweet corn we bought in the Dayton/Springfield area and baked potatoes.  After dinner, somehow we got on the subject of health care costs.  He and MIL are covered sweeter than any of us could ever imagine - virtually no monthly costs to speak of and minimal to no co-pays for doctor visits or meds.  

He ramps himself up about people who resent his benefits and he got them the "old-fashioned way" by working for them.  And by god, everyone else is just entitled and doesn't want to work for it.  Then he proceeded to tell me he didn't think I was old enough to draw SS at 62.  You can't argue with him.  

 
RC94 said:
I am in the same boat on Thanksgiving - in the basement watching football after spending the estimated required time with the extended family. Sometimes my uncle and my father will join me.  My brother, whose house we usually go to, never watches and it's not because he is busy in the kitchen.  My own brother!  I don't know how we are related.




 
Click to expand...
I could say I was ##### whipped but that would leave out the #####.

 
ChopMeat said:
:thumbup:  I live in Twinsburg. Chrysler stamping plant is gone though.
Click to expand...
Nice ...I used to work at the Alltel (now Windstream or Verizon) building on Highland Rd. and Rt. 8.  (As well as the old regional HQ at the corner of Highland and Rt.8 ...and all their buildings in town and around (downtown Hudson, and the old HQ and Mohawk bldg.)

 
binky my brother!!  

i just went through this in NC.  the night before i got there...my BIL committed spousal abuse...no one did anything. :mellow: and before you ask, of course he lives with his dad.  thank god i wasn't there for that bit of drama, my wife and daughter were there and slept thru it, thankfully.  upside?  the #### weed BIL made himself scarce the entire time i was there.

 
Your best friend is sick. Your internet is down and the weather sucks. Your house is a mess and you can't find the tv remote. You bent your favorite baseball card. The book you're reading is boring. You can't get your ####### cat to stop jumping on the counter. You just broke the handle on your toilet. You have 7 voice mails you don't want to return. This was going to lead to a question but I can't think of what to ask.

 
Black dot to do this shtick next time I'm in Omaha at the in-laws and it is below freezing.  

Hopefully you survive.  

Trip to NFL HOF out of question?

 
Update:

1)  Dinner was great.  Wife and MIL made tomato basil pies ...just wonderful.  Grandpa got into the scotch and we were treated to ..."how to survive when the ISIS attacks the mall."  DO NOT head for the exits - that is exactly what they want you do.  They have cross-fire posts there just waiting to mow the fleeing herds down.  

2)  Got to listen for over a half hour about how great the crazy sister-in-law's trailer is down in "whatthehellever" Florida.  Supposedly got it off a Vietnam Vet for $5K - AND its awesome.  OMFG.  AND she has been promoted to night shift ladies clothing display person, so there's that.  I am half in the bag drinking bag drinking $15/jug bourbon blend  and diet coke but had to take a break and come in for a couple minutes.  

 
Leave a floater for when the FIL heads to the bathroom first thing next morning.  Proceed to mention to him at breakfast that unless he can prove otherwise, that you got the biggest steak the other night at dinner.  Also, ask if he noticed the smiley face pattern of corn in your floater as well.  Tell him you and the kids play this at home all the time and you want to make the kids feel at home.

 
elguapo07 said:
Leave a floater for when the FIL heads to the bathroom first thing next morning.  Proceed to mention to him at breakfast that unless he can prove otherwise, that you got the biggest steak the other night at dinner.  Also, ask if he noticed the smiley face pattern of corn in your floater as well.  Tell him you and the kids play this at home all the time and you want to make the kids feel at home.




 
Click to expand...
Very detailed.  I appreciate the effort.  

I am looking for something more slippery and less confrontational.  

I want him to at least start seriously doubting his sanity.  

THEN I can start dropping some #### on him. 

 
Tell him Gunsmoke and Matlock are the two stupidest shows ever made.  Also, throw in that John Wayne has nothing on Tom Cruise.

 
Binky The Doormat said:
Very detailed.  I appreciate the effort.  

I am looking for something more slippery and less confrontational.  

I want him to at least start seriously doubting his sanity.  

THEN I can start dropping some #### on him. 
Click to expand...
He has reading glasses right?  I mean its a must.  Move them around the house to various locations all day and night.  Do similar things w/ the paper, coffee mug, or whatever he keeps by his chair.  Old guys always have a chair.  Maybe even move his chair slightly.  If he's reading a book or completing a puzzle book, leave it by the can.  Moving stuff around is the easiest way to mess w/ the senile.

 
Binky The Doormat said:
Very detailed.  I appreciate the effort.  

I am looking for something more slippery and less confrontational.  

I want him to at least start seriously doubting his sanity.  

THEN I can start dropping some #### on him. 
Click to expand...
Does he leave his shoes by the door?  Move them to the other door.  Every time.

Eat all of the good stuff out of the cereal - crunchberries, marshmallows, raisins, whatever - leaving only a few, making him think that the cereal company screwed him over.

If you want to really mess with him while he's out of the house, take all the collar buttons off his dress shirts and sew them back on 1" farther from the button.

 
Oh - or go buy a cheap watch - like a super-cheap one.  Make sure it has an alarm.  Set the alarm for a weird time he's sure to be asleep, like 3:47 am.  Hide watch inside the air vent in his room.

 
Henry Ford said:
Oh - or go buy a cheap watch - like a super-cheap one.  Make sure it has an alarm.  Set the alarm for a weird time he's sure to be asleep, like 3:47 am.  Hide watch inside the air vent in his room.
Click to expand...
Hmmmm, Henry...you've really thought this one out... :unsure:

 
Kafka said:
Hmmmm, Henry...you've really thought this one out... :unsure:
Click to expand...
I have a list somewhere of all the things I've done to my brother when I've visited him.  These are all on it.

The collar one drove him insane.  He thought he was gaining weight, which he's super sensitive about, and he spent about three months on a diet until his wife bought him a new shirt and it fit perfectly.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Binky The Doormat said:
1)  Dinner was great.  Wife and MIL made tomato basil pies ...just wonderful.  Grandpa got into the scotch and we were treated to ..."how to survive when the ISIS attacks the mall."  DO NOT head for the exits - that is exactly what they want you do.  They have cross-fire posts there just waiting to mow the fleeing herds down.  
Click to expand...
Can you ask Grandpa for more ISIS tips?   This seems like it'd be educational for everyone. 

 
xulf said:
Tell him Gunsmoke and Matlock are the two stupidest shows ever made.  Also, throw in that John Wayne has nothing on Tom Cruise.
Click to expand...
Good thinking though cracking on Hercule Poirot or Angela Landsbury might get a little more wound up.

 
Poke_4_Life said:
He has reading glasses right?  I mean its a must.  Move them around the house to various locations all day and night.  Do similar things w/ the paper, coffee mug, or whatever he keeps by his chair.  Old guys always have a chair.  Maybe even move his chair slightly.  If he's reading a book or completing a puzzle book, leave it by the can.  Moving stuff around is the easiest way to mess w/ the senile.




 
Click to expand...
:thumbup:  Wears glasses full time, but I have already hid the Audi mug and hung his precious Audi car keys on a different peg.  He doesn't have a chair (weird, I know) he typically goes into the bedroom for tv watching and frequent naps.  

 
Henry Ford said:
Does he leave his shoes by the door?  Move them to the other door.  Every time.

Eat all of the good stuff out of the cereal - crunchberries, marshmallows, raisins, whatever - leaving only a few, making him think that the cereal company screwed him over.

If you want to really mess with him while he's out of the house, take all the collar buttons off his dress shirts and sew them back on 1" farther from the button.




 
Click to expand...
His cereals suck - 1940s stuff - Cornflakes, that kind of stuff.   :X

No shoes by the door ...he never takes them off!  Who does that?

I can't sew.  

 
Henry Ford said:
Oh - or go buy a cheap watch - like a super-cheap one.  Make sure it has an alarm.  Set the alarm for a weird time he's sure to be asleep, like 3:47 am.  Hide watch inside the air vent in his room.




 
Click to expand...
I don't hate the guy that much Henry.

 
Update:

Nothing on the hidden Audi mug or keys.  But I have been able to capitalize on my daughter bringing up the large ants she saw by the garage.  I mean these are big nasty looking black ants - the half-inch kind.  

I mentioned that those will kill a bush or tree and they really ought to get someone out there.  Then I pointed out a tree that had some brown spots up really high and told them that how my neighbor's started and they lost several trees and eventually all of their bushes at the front of the house.  

Grandma is all over his ### about being too cheap for lawn treatments this year and that that are going to lose a bunch of their trees.  

Is this going too far?  :D

 
just tell him it is fist time and then sock him one right in the breadbasket actually do not do that i just sort of wanted to type it out and it made me chuckel so hey there you have it take that to the bank bromigos 

 
JNox3 said:
text him and report back
Click to expand...
:lmao: :lmao:  Oh you have to know what's coming here.  

Consumer Cellular flip phone.  No texting plan.  Has a camera he refuses to use - and proudly proclaims that he has never sent a damn text and never will.  

Side note:  First night here he spent all evening telling us that they don't have wifi and don't bother trying to connect to it.  He said that the lady from Time Warner told him that if he wasn't using it, she could disconnect it for him for a $5/mo. savings so he did that.  

Meanwhile he has Netflix that we bought him (Father's Day present each year - $120 - twice as much as the other grandparents ...).  And of course, the Netflix is downstairs from the modem/wifi and connected by wifi.  We just connected and moved on.  I asked him how he thought the Netflix worked and he said, "Its just part of the package!" like I'm the idiot.

I was tired at that point and didn't ask what he meant by that.  

 
brohans getting old stinks if you really want to get him just start saying that famous people like entertainers from his era are still alive then he will have to argue with you that they are dead if you do ten eleven or twelve in a row he will start realizing how old he is and how everything he knows is dead and dust and then probably just drink himself to sleep take that to the sort of sad really bank bromigo

 
Sign them up for the nudity channel and when you happen to stubble across it one evening ask if this is also part of the package.  

He sounds s bit crusty. I wouldn't mess with him too much but I'd covertly try to have some fun at his expense. 

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Harry Frogfish
I broke my back and it's awful. L1 (worst), T3, T9. It's been exceedingly painful and I'm in the dark on how to deal. Life-changing.
Replies
20
Views
564
Sullie
Sullie
Ministry of Pain
Surprise visit from my son and tickets to the Miami-NYJ game at Hard Rock
Replies
7
Views
765
tommyGunZ
tommyGunZ
Willie Neslon
Girl sitting next to me on flight pukes in bag twice
2 3
Replies
144
Views
7K
Grahamburn
Grahamburn

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 1 (members: 0, guests: 1)
Back
Top