I'm Beginning To Think I Did This All Wrong With The Whole Not Having Children Thing (1 Viewer)

[Jayrod]

Um, this is very awkward, but your post here very much reminds me of the style of wikkidpissah :(

I was just thinking about this because he was mentioned in another thread.

If wikkid were alive, he might not have agreed with the premise of the thread nor the delivery, but he would have made fun of the thread starter in a not-so-subtle but funny and deep way, and he would have imparted some sort of otherworldly wisdom about fatherhood and non-fatherhood. I'm absolutely sure of it.

I know I would have loved to hear what he said about this thread. I do indeed miss him and his thoughts and non-prosaic prose. Irreplaceable on this board.

He did the bolded a lot when he was with us, so I have no doubt he would have done so in this thread unless he was on one of his hiatuses (hiati?)

He definitely would have chimed in about caring for his parents in their old age.

He lost his mom a year or two before he passed and was caring for his dad up to his last day.

 

[bigbottom]

Fascinating thread with lots to think about. Many thanks to all for their contributions. As for me, I will just say this. The greatest moments in my life involve my children. So too, the worst moments in my life involve my children.

 

[rockaction]

At my lowest point, I couldn't muster the courage to take that walk into the woods. I eventually compromised and decided that would be my retirement plan.

Hey Caveman33, where are you these days? You're safe, I hope. Anyway, your post was read by at least me. Don't forget to rest up during your journeys. They're long and you'll need the sleep. Be well and remember that there are people that remember you. You must cross their mind. You cross mine at times, so I can only imagine what those once close to you must feel. Peace, brother. Take care.

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

Fascinating thread with lots to think about. Many thanks to all for their contributions. As for me, I will just say this. The greatest moments in my life involve my children. So too, the worst moments in my life involve my children.

Seeing the piper at the Queen's funeral made me think of your son.

 

[Caveman33]

At my lowest point, I couldn't muster the courage to take that walk into the woods. I eventually compromised and decided that would be my retirement plan.

Hey Caveman33, where are you these days? You're safe, I hope. Anyway, your post was read by at least me. Don't forget to rest up during your journeys. They're long and you'll need the sleep. Be well and remember that there are people that remember you. You must cross their mind. You cross mine at times, so I can only imagine what those once close to you must feel. Peace, brother. Take care.

Thank you, I've been in San Francisco and everything is going fine. My life is very tame with plenty of sleep and exercise. That low point was mostly caused by me building up high hopes when I had the opportunity to go to the best surgeon for my condition. She tried some experimental stuff to correct the damage from previous surgery but it didn't work out. Enough time has passed and I've more or less accepted that I will just live with this. Regarding my parents, I know it's hard for them. They will never apologize because they don't think they did anything wrong. That makes things easier for me. When my dad passes away, I will probably receive some guilt trip emails from my mom but she was the medical officer in my family and the one I hold the most resentment against. If the situation was reversed and she died first, I could probably forgive my dad and have a relationship with him again. I don't expect anyone to understand my mentality, especially without the full story that spans a lifetime. Whenever I hear someone complaining about their parents, my natural inclination is to think that the person is an untrustworthy narrator and their parents actions were probably reasonable. I could be somewhat or even fully wrong in my own situation but I've spent a lot of time thinking about it and my biggest regret is that I didn't cut off my parents sooner.

 

[Hoh]

Having kids is 20% joy and 80% a PITA. But thanks to the mathematics that works in quantum mechanics the 20% can outweigh the 80% depending on the observer.

 

[El Floppo]

Please post said study whereby kids are better off with a less involved father later in their years.

It was a long time ago and is explained away by unemployment. I'm not your lapdog. Post something contradictory if you feel like it.

This isn't the PSF where a ****-ton of libs get to do this. That's why that **** went and done left the boards, much to your chagrin. This type of ****.

there are infinite more studies to the contrary.

rock... wtf, man.

 

[El Floppo]

I assumed this thread was a joke, based on the OP.

some lovely honest posts in here though.

 

[snellman]

Having kids is 20% joy and 80% a PITA. But thanks to the mathematics that works in quantum mechanics the 20% can outweigh the 80% depending on the observer.

Having 3 of them now, the % reverse after grandkids come into the picture. Having grandkids makes all of the bad times and nightmares of having kids disappear. I do understand why some people do not want to have kids though.

 

[rockaction]

I assumed this thread was a joke, based on the OP.

It was, flop. Maybe there was a little too much truth, because then it got a little serious given the responses.

Sorry about your post. I took it in its intended spirit.

 

[Ilov80s]

I assumed this thread was a joke, based on the OP.

some lovely honest posts in here though.

Always some truth to any joke though I suppose. I don’t think he literally meant he should have a bunch of random kids but perhaps the reflection was genuine, ya know?

 

[bigbottom]

The sad truth is that, for the most part, society doesn’t value the elderly. It’s a real shame. Who does value the elderly? Family. So when contemplating your golden years, it’s not so much about needing children to care for you when you are infirm as it is having people around you to love and value you. For those who chose not to have kids (I have a number of close friends in this category), I just think as you approach that period in your life it’s important to cultivate your relationships with extended family and friends so that those golden years don’t feel so isolated.

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

The sad truth is that, for the most part, society doesn’t value the elderly. It’s a real shame. Who does value the elderly? Family. So when contemplating your golden years, it’s not so much about needing children to care for you when you are infirm as it is having people around you to love and value you. For those who chose not to have kids (I have a number of close friends in this category), I just think as you approach that period in your life it’s important to cultivate your relationships with extended family and friends so that those golden years don’t feel so isolated.

That is very true. Alas, my extended family is in England, so that is not an option.

 

[rockaction]

so that those golden years don’t feel so isolated.

See, that's the actual genuine worry I have. That was put well. Not the issue of being cared for or dying, but the crushing loneliness that one must feel when alone and elderly. When the body breaks down and there's nobody coming around, it must get awfully painful and the feelings of loneliness must weigh heavily on the mind. Just not a good thing.

I don't really worry about somebody to take care of me. If I'm demented, I suppose I might just wander into a bus on accident. No, what I worry about is Christmas and Thanksgiving and all the other times where all I'll feel is nostalgia rather than companionship with loved ones. That's the truest bleakness I can see for an uncertain future.

I think I've always been aware of that and tried to go out of my way to be kind to people that I think might not have that. I probably don't do a great job of it, and I certainly have my faults, but a lack of recognition of those who might be lonely is not one of them.

 

[plinko]

I will see you all in the footballguys retirement home, where we will play pickleball and draft bands

 

[massraider]

I just think as you approach that period in your life it’s important to cultivate your relationships with extended family and friends so that those golden years don’t feel so isolated

For those with kids, this is probably a good idea. For everyone.