Is it ever ok to use a belt to discipline your child? (1 Viewer)

[gianmarco]

I know some people that have smoked their whole life and never got lung cancer, so it must be ok to smoke, right?

All of you guys that were beaten with belts and turned out fine, no chance it could be different for others, right?

 

[Christo]

I know some people that have smoked their whole life and never got lung cancer, so it must be ok to smoke, right?All of you guys that were beaten with belts and turned out fine, no chance it could be different for others, right?

Of course there's a chance. Why don't you link to where anyone claimed there was no chance?

 

[Chadstroma]

I got the belt more than a couple of times growing up.

I spank my child and will continue to do so when it is required but I will not ever use anything other than my hand to discipline.

 

[gianmarco]

I know some people that have smoked their whole life and never got lung cancer, so it must be ok to smoke, right?All of you guys that were beaten with belts and turned out fine, no chance it could be different for others, right?

Of course there's a chance. Why don't you link to where anyone claimed there was no chance?

 

[Christo]

I know some people that have smoked their whole life and never got lung cancer, so it must be ok to smoke, right?All of you guys that were beaten with belts and turned out fine, no chance it could be different for others, right?

Of course there's a chance. Why don't you link to where anyone claimed there was no chance?

Can't do it, can you?

 

[gianmarco]

I know some people that have smoked their whole life and never got lung cancer, so it must be ok to smoke, right?All of you guys that were beaten with belts and turned out fine, no chance it could be different for others, right?

Of course there's a chance. Why don't you link to where anyone claimed there was no chance?

Can't do it, can you?

 

[cstu]

I was spanked as a child. I was spanked over my pants, spanked pants down, and spanked underwear down on my bare butt. I was spanked by hand, with a spatula, with a wooden spoon (several, actually - they often broke), with a hairbrush, with a feather duster and with a belt, and with an extension cord.

I wouldn't find fault with the feather duster.

I think you probably would - it was the stick end, not the feather end. Wood. Rather like an English cane. Hurt like hell, but, again, I absolutely deserved it. Tested out my Mom's diamond earrings for authenticity on her vanity mirror. Fun times.

Beaten for curiosity, excellent parenting.

Ah...no. I got a lot of culture and education as a kid. I was old enough and smart enough to know better, already knew darn well her diamonds were the real thing, knew what would happen to glass scratched by real diamonds, and there was plenty of glass around the house I could have satisfied my curiosity with rather than the geometric center of a 3' X 3' mirror centerpiece of my Mom's dressing room/parlor where she held afternoon tea and entertained her lady friends. It was a dumb, unwise and thoughtless move on all counts by me. Thanks for the hyperbole, though.

It's understandable, but I still wouldn't beat my kid for it though.

 

[The Commish]

Dumb question....what is a "parenting plan"?

Did you discuss parenting before you had a child? Did you make any decisions about how you would handle certain situations? Did you read any books? Did you take notes(mental or otherwise) of what you saw other parents do? Did you have conversations about things your own parents did with you? What worked and what didn't?

If you did these things, you know what a parenting plan is.

If I'm being honest, no...I didn't. I had a few child psychology classes in college, but I've never really understood the parenting books. My wife and I had discussion about our philosophies and what we'd like to pass on to our kids, but that's about it. Trying to figure out the questions you outline above without knowing your child and their makeup seems silly to me. We both agreed that the "every child is different" approach was setting us up for our best chance of success. Thought I was missing out on something here.

How did you "get to know" your kids when they were two months old?

Did you wait until they were old enough to talk before you started giving them any structure?

Did you wait until you could have lengthy conversations with them before deciding on a bedtime?

Did you ask them if it was ok to not put a TV in their room?

Do you let them decide how long they can play video games?

You would have had to make plenty of decisions about parenting before you knew much about your child. I firmly believe a parent should be involved in what kind of person their children become. They shouldn't wait and see, and then maybe get involved.

The crowd that believes parenting is only learned by experience seems odd to me. Basically you are saying trial and error is ok for kids.

Not sure this is going anywhere, but I'll answer...remember, this started with me asking what a parenting plan was. Never heard of one before. Anyway, I got to know my kids by being around them. That's an odd question. As far as "structure" we went with their natural routine. They gave us the guideline and we held them to it. Same with bedtime. When they fell asleep, it was bedtime. We don't have an extra TV that could go in their room, so it's never come up. We do limit the time they play their education games on the iPad.

We have made plenty of decisions about parenting. We've made them as we had to face the questions. We really haven't premeditated any of it. That's apparently what a parenting plan is? Just wasn't our approach I guess. The rest of your comments I have no real comment on as we ARE involved in our kids lives so I have no idea why you'd go down that path.

 

[Crazy Canuck]

It's child abuse, and just because you were abused as a child doesn't mean it's ok to beat your child too. "I turned out ok" isn't a good reason. You likely would have turned out much better if your parents hadn't taken the easy way out.

Louis CK nails it on the head here @ around 4:55 and on:

First thing I thought of when opening this thread.

 

[parasaurolophus]

Dumb question....what is a "parenting plan"?

Did you discuss parenting before you had a child? Did you make any decisions about how you would handle certain situations? Did you read any books? Did you take notes(mental or otherwise) of what you saw other parents do? Did you have conversations about things your own parents did with you? What worked and what didn't?

If you did these things, you know what a parenting plan is.

If I'm being honest, no...I didn't. I had a few child psychology classes in college, but I've never really understood the parenting books. My wife and I had discussion about our philosophies and what we'd like to pass on to our kids, but that's about it. Trying to figure out the questions you outline above without knowing your child and their makeup seems silly to me. We both agreed that the "every child is different" approach was setting us up for our best chance of success. Thought I was missing out on something here.

How did you "get to know" your kids when they were two months old?

Did you wait until they were old enough to talk before you started giving them any structure?

Did you wait until you could have lengthy conversations with them before deciding on a bedtime?

Did you ask them if it was ok to not put a TV in their room?

Do you let them decide how long they can play video games?

You would have had to make plenty of decisions about parenting before you knew much about your child. I firmly believe a parent should be involved in what kind of person their children become. They shouldn't wait and see, and then maybe get involved.

The crowd that believes parenting is only learned by experience seems odd to me. Basically you are saying trial and error is ok for kids.

Not sure this is going anywhere, but I'll answer...remember, this started with me asking what a parenting plan was. Never heard of one before. Anyway, I got to know my kids by being around them. That's an odd question. As far as "structure" we went with their natural routine. They gave us the guideline and we held them to it. Same with bedtime. When they fell asleep, it was bedtime. We don't have an extra TV that could go in their room, so it's never come up. We do limit the time they play their education games on the iPad.

We have made plenty of decisions about parenting. We've made them as we had to face the questions. We really haven't premeditated any of it. That's apparently what a parenting plan is? Just wasn't our approach I guess. The rest of your comments I have no real comment on as we ARE involved in our kids lives so I have no idea why you'd go down that path.

Do they tell you what you are having for dinner also?

 

[Henry Ford]

I know some people that have smoked their whole life and never got lung cancer, so it must be ok to smoke, right? All of you guys that were beaten with belts and turned out fine, no chance it could be different for others, right?

Christo's not saying there isn't a chance, he's saying it's perfectly acceptable to take the chance of giving your child a mental disorder in order to beat the kid with a belt.

 

[The Commish]

Dumb question....what is a "parenting plan"?

Did you discuss parenting before you had a child? Did you make any decisions about how you would handle certain situations? Did you read any books? Did you take notes(mental or otherwise) of what you saw other parents do? Did you have conversations about things your own parents did with you? What worked and what didn't?

If you did these things, you know what a parenting plan is.

If I'm being honest, no...I didn't. I had a few child psychology classes in college, but I've never really understood the parenting books. My wife and I had discussion about our philosophies and what we'd like to pass on to our kids, but that's about it. Trying to figure out the questions you outline above without knowing your child and their makeup seems silly to me. We both agreed that the "every child is different" approach was setting us up for our best chance of success. Thought I was missing out on something here.

How did you "get to know" your kids when they were two months old?

Did you wait until they were old enough to talk before you started giving them any structure?

Did you wait until you could have lengthy conversations with them before deciding on a bedtime?

Did you ask them if it was ok to not put a TV in their room?

Do you let them decide how long they can play video games?

You would have had to make plenty of decisions about parenting before you knew much about your child. I firmly believe a parent should be involved in what kind of person their children become. They shouldn't wait and see, and then maybe get involved.

The crowd that believes parenting is only learned by experience seems odd to me. Basically you are saying trial and error is ok for kids.

Not sure this is going anywhere, but I'll answer...remember, this started with me asking what a parenting plan was. Never heard of one before. Anyway, I got to know my kids by being around them. That's an odd question. As far as "structure" we went with their natural routine. They gave us the guideline and we held them to it. Same with bedtime. When they fell asleep, it was bedtime. We don't have an extra TV that could go in their room, so it's never come up. We do limit the time they play their education games on the iPad.

We have made plenty of decisions about parenting. We've made them as we had to face the questions. We really haven't premeditated any of it. That's apparently what a parenting plan is? Just wasn't our approach I guess. The rest of your comments I have no real comment on as we ARE involved in our kids lives so I have no idea why you'd go down that path.

Do they tell you what you are having for dinner also?

Mind if I ask where you're going with all this? I still don't know what a "parenting plan" is and all I'm getting are these ####### snarky questions in return. What exactly is your problem?

 

[Mister Martie]

I don't understand why the belt is needed to spank. Do you just want to inflict maximum damage?

 

[BigJohn]

Trying to argue you understand what it's like to be a parent without being one (just because you know lots of people with kids and help take care of them) is like trying to argue that you know what it's like to be married just because you're in a long-term relationship (and have lots of friends that are married).

It is NOT the same as saying that someone knows how to be a parent just because they are one. No, having a kid doesn't make you a knowledgeable parent. But trying to argue that you understand what it's like to be a parent just because you work with kids or have been around lots of people with kids is just foolish. It's a responsibility and relationship unlike any other. Ask ANY parent if they knew what it would be like before actually being one and you'll get the same answer over and over.

Some of you guys want to give yourselves way too much credit for simply impregnating somebody. If you're a good parent, great. You should be. I've seen it and it is exhausting, never ending, stressful, difficult work. But having a child does not make you a good parent. Having a child does not mean that the guy next to you without a kid doesn't know what is better for your kid than you do. He probably doesn't, but it's not that way simply because he doesn't have one. There are some colossal freaking idiots out there raising walking disaster areas who probably think they're great parents, who jump at every opportunity to tell those without children that they just don't know. Well, yeah, of course there are some elements of that relationship that are privy only to the two people involved. That's like any relationship. Period. But when it comes to discipline, that's not a "you have to be there" thing.

You realize this statement is making you look completely ridiculous, right? 'Simply impregnating someone' is not the same thing as raising a child.

 

[BigJohn]

Hitting a child is wrong. Period.

But table that for a moment, and just focus on the fact that it simply does not work.

I never repeated the behavior I was spanked for. Blows a hole in your little theory.

Your comments seem to be lifted from the "common fallacies" in beginning critical thinking books.

It's not my theory, it's facts based on real research.

>

Physical Punishment and Mental Disorders: Results From a Nationally Representative US Sample
BACKGROUND: The use of physical punishment is controversial. Few studies have examined the relationship between physical punishment and a wide range of mental disorders in a nationally representative sample. The current research investigated the possible link between harsh physical punishment (ie, pushing, grabbing, shoving, slapping, hitting) in the absence of more severe child maltreatment (ie, physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical neglect, emotional neglect, exposure to intimate partner violence) and Axis I and II mental disorders.
METHODS: Data were from the National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions collected between 2004 and 2005 (N = 34 653). The survey was conducted with a representative US adult population sample (aged ≥20 years). Statistical methods included logistic regression models and population-attributable fractions.
RESULTS: Harsh physical punishment was associated with increased odds of mood disorders, anxiety disorders, alcohol and drug abuse/dependence, and several personality disorders after adjusting for sociodemographic variables and family history of dysfunction (adjusted odds ratio: 1.36–2.46). Approximately 2% to 5% of Axis I disorders and 4% to 7% of Axis II disorders were attributable to harsh physical punishment.
CONCLUSIONS: Harsh physical punishment in the absence of child maltreatment is associated with mood disorders, anxiety disorders, substance abuse/dependence, and personality disorders in a general population sample. These findings inform the ongoing debate around the use of physical punishment and provide evidence that harsh physical punishment independent of child maltreatment is related to mental disorders.

The debate is about spanking, not any of those punishments listed, FWIW.

 

[Bonzai]

I know some people that have smoked their whole life and never got lung cancer, so it must be ok to smoke, right?All of you guys that were beaten with belts and turned out fine, no chance it could be different for others, right?

Christo's not saying there isn't a chance, he's saying it's perfectly acceptable to take the chance of giving your child a mental disorder in order to beat the kid with a belt.

 

[shake zula]

This thread is scary. WTF would really hit their kid with a belt or any other object?

 

[Henry Ford]

This thread is scary. WTF would really hit their kid with a belt or any other object?

I use a 2x4. You only have to hit 'em once and they learn not to get caught.

 

[shake zula]

This thread is scary. WTF would really hit their kid with a belt or any other object?

I use a 2x4. You only have to hit 'em once and they learn not to get caught.

Just start breaking fingers. That'll get their attention quickly.

 

[Henry Ford]

This thread is scary. WTF would really hit their kid with a belt or any other object?

I use a 2x4. You only have to hit 'em once and they learn not to get caught.

Just start breaking fingers. That'll get their attention quickly.

If you get one that's giving you static, he probably thinks he's a real cowboy, so you gotta break that son of a ##### in two. If you wanna know something and he won't tell you, cut off one of his fingers. The little one. Then tell him his thumb's next.

 

[shake zula]

This thread is scary. WTF would really hit their kid with a belt or any other object?

I use a 2x4. You only have to hit 'em once and they learn not to get caught.

Just start breaking fingers. That'll get their attention quickly.

If you get one that's giving you static, he probably thinks he's a real cowboy, so you gotta break that son of a ##### in two. If you wanna know something and he won't tell you, cut off one of his fingers. The little one. Then tell him his thumb's next.

If your kidding isn't deathly afraid of you by the time he is 5 you effed up big time. All kidding aside, if a parent can't control a kid by any other means besides severe corporal punishment something bigger is going on.

 

[Joe Summer]

This thread is scary. WTF would really hit their kid with a belt or any other object?

Someone who wanted to make sure their child didn't become a liberal?

 

[Kool-Aid Larry]

This thread is scary. WTF would really hit their kid with a belt or any other object?

people who were beaten as kids

 

[cstu]

I know some people that have smoked their whole life and never got lung cancer, so it must be ok to smoke, right?All of you guys that were beaten with belts and turned out fine, no chance it could be different for others, right?

Christo's not saying there isn't a chance, he's saying it's perfectly acceptable to take the chance of giving your child a mental disorder in order to beat the kid with a belt.

 

[Kool-Aid Larry]

I was spanked as a child. I was spanked over my pants, spanked pants down, and spanked underwear down on my bare butt. I was spanked by hand, with a spatula, with a wooden spoon (several, actually - they often broke),

Ah...no. I got a lot of culture and education as a kid. I was old enough and smart enough to know better, already knew darn well her diamonds were the real thing, knew what would happen to glass scratched by real diamonds, and there was plenty of glass around the house I could have satisfied my curiosity with rather than the geometric center of a 3' X 3' mirror centerpiece of my Mom's dressing room/parlor where she held afternoon tea and entertained her lady friends.

yeah, I'm sure these things were completely unrelated

 

[Boomer1]

This thread is scary. WTF would really hit their kid with a belt or any other object?

I use a 2x4. You only have to hit 'em once and they learn not to get caught.

Just start breaking fingers. That'll get their attention quickly.

If you get one that's giving you static, he probably thinks he's a real cowboy, so you gotta break that son of a ##### in two. If you wanna know something and he won't tell you, cut off one of his fingers. The little one. Then tell him his thumb's next.

All kidding aside, if a parent can't control a kid by any other means besides severe corporal punishment something bigger is going on.

Do you consider a swat to the a$$ with your open hand "severe corporal punishment"?

 

[Henry Ford]

This thread is scary. WTF would really hit their kid with a belt or any other object?

I use a 2x4. You only have to hit 'em once and they learn not to get caught.

Just start breaking fingers. That'll get their attention quickly.

If you get one that's giving you static, he probably thinks he's a real cowboy, so you gotta break that son of a ##### in two. If you wanna know something and he won't tell you, cut off one of his fingers. The little one. Then tell him his thumb's next.

All kidding aside, if a parent can't control a kid by any other means besides severe corporal punishment something bigger is going on.

Do you consider a swat to the ### with your open hand "severe corporal punishment"?

Do you consider your open hand "a belt or any other object"?

 

[Boomer1]

This thread is scary. WTF would really hit their kid with a belt or any other object?

I use a 2x4. You only have to hit 'em once and they learn not to get caught.

Just start breaking fingers. That'll get their attention quickly.

If you get one that's giving you static, he probably thinks he's a real cowboy, so you gotta break that son of a ##### in two. If you wanna know something and he won't tell you, cut off one of his fingers. The little one. Then tell him his thumb's next.

All kidding aside, if a parent can't control a kid by any other means besides severe corporal punishment something bigger is going on.

Do you consider a swat to the ### with your open hand "severe corporal punishment"?

Do you consider your open hand "a belt or any other object"?

So you guys are ok with the hand, just not "a belt or any other object" Can severe corporal punishment be doled out with an open hand? Is it better to received 2-3 swats with an open hand vs. 1 single swat with the belt (notice I didn't use the word beat)?

 

[Henry Ford]

So you guys are ok with the hand, just not "a belt or any other object" Can severe corporal punishment be doled out with an open hand? Is it better to received 2-3 swats with an open hand vs. 1 single swat with the belt (notice I didn't use the word beat)?

You seem a little touchy on this subject. A belt user, are you?

 

[Bigboy10182000]

This thread is scary. WTF would really hit their kid with a belt or any other object?

I use a 2x4. You only have to hit 'em once and they learn not to get caught.

Just start breaking fingers. That'll get their attention quickly.

If you get one that's giving you static, he probably thinks he's a real cowboy, so you gotta break that son of a ##### in two. If you wanna know something and he won't tell you, cut off one of his fingers. The little one. Then tell him his thumb's next.

All kidding aside, if a parent can't control a kid by any other means besides severe corporal punishment something bigger is going on.

Do you consider a swat to the ### with your open hand "severe corporal punishment"?

Do you consider your open hand "a belt or any other object"?

So you guys are ok with the hand, just not "a belt or any other object" Can severe corporal punishment be doled out with an open hand? Is it better to received 2-3 swats with an open hand vs. 1 single swat with the belt (notice I didn't use the word beat)?

Just for clarification--the people who are against the belt (no I'm not for it) are you imaging like red, split-skin, welts etc?

I was hit with the belt by my father and depedning on what I did I would have much rather took the belt over the hand.

 

[Bigboy10182000]

So you guys are ok with the hand, just not "a belt or any other object" Can severe corporal punishment be doled out with an open hand? Is it better to received 2-3 swats with an open hand vs. 1 single swat with the belt (notice I didn't use the word beat)?

You seem a little touchy on this subject. A belt user, are you?

FIW, he doesnt come off as touchy at all...you seem defensive though. How about you just answer his question?

 

[Henry Ford]

So you guys are ok with the hand, just not "a belt or any other object" Can severe corporal punishment be doled out with an open hand? Is it better to received 2-3 swats with an open hand vs. 1 single swat with the belt (notice I didn't use the word beat)?

You seem a little touchy on this subject. A belt user, are you?

FIW, he doesnt come off as touchy at all...you seem defensive though. How about you just answer his question?

Sure.

Yes, severe corporal punishment can be doled out with an open hand. For instance, Bruce Lee jamming his fingers into a kid's throat for leaving the toothpaste cap off would be considered severe corporal punishment. Is that up for debate? Yes, it's possible.

Yes, I think 2-3 swats with an open hand versus one single swat with a belt or other object is preferable. Although, significantly more preferable would be not hitting a child.

 

[Bigboy10182000]

So you guys are ok with the hand, just not "a belt or any other object" Can severe corporal punishment be doled out with an open hand? Is it better to received 2-3 swats with an open hand vs. 1 single swat with the belt (notice I didn't use the word beat)?

You seem a little touchy on this subject. A belt user, are you?

FIW, he doesnt come off as touchy at all...you seem defensive though. How about you just answer his question?

Sure.

Yes, severe corporal punishment can be doled out with an open hand. For instance, Bruce Lee jamming his fingers into a kid's throat for leaving the toothpaste cap off would be considered severe corporal punishment. Is that up for debate? Yes, it's possible.

Yes, I think 2-3 swats with an open hand versus one single swat with a belt or other object is preferable. Although, significantly more preferable would be not hitting a child.

As I've stated before I wouldnt either but if you were my father you should have had a shirt that said "Welcome" on it...

There's 7 billion people out there...I was one, as a kid, (and that goes double for my brother) that needed that little bit to "scare" you. It wasnt until later that I relaized it was all just a ploy and one that worked very effectivly. Getting the belt was more like when mom said "I'm going to call your father" when she did the same stuff he would have done... My experiance anyway

 

[Boomer1]

So you guys are ok with the hand, just not "a belt or any other object" Can severe corporal punishment be doled out with an open hand? Is it better to received 2-3 swats with an open hand vs. 1 single swat with the belt (notice I didn't use the word beat)?

You seem a little touchy on this subject. A belt user, are you?

FIW, he doesnt come off as touchy at all...you seem defensive though. How about you just answer his question?

Sure.

Yes, severe corporal punishment can be doled out with an open hand. For instance, Bruce Lee jamming his fingers into a kid's throat for leaving the toothpaste cap off would be considered severe corporal punishment. Is that up for debate? Yes, it's possible.

Yes, I think 2-3 swats with an open hand versus one single swat with a belt or other object is preferable. Although, significantly more preferable would be not hitting a child.

Not defensive at all, but thanks.... Not a belt user (other than holding up my pant) but have had one used on me, along with a switch and any other object close at hand. A was a vveeerrryyy disobient kid and had it coming most of the time. I was raised by a single mother with a strong southern upbringing who did not spare the rod. That said, I harbor no ill will and none the worse for it. Are their extreme situations where a kid could be mentally scarred, sure possibly. Just like it's possible little Johnny could be scarred by making him sit in the corner during class with his friends laughing at him, again, extreme, but possible.

I'm 45, been married 25 years and held the same job for 25 years. I have 2 healthy well adjusted boys who have been swatted on the A$$ on occasion to get their attention with an open hand, never a belt. I believe IN MY SITUATION AND WITH MY KIDS, a belt is not needed. That said, a belt or switch was needed for me, growing up as a swat to the a$$ with a bare hand would not get the message across that I needed.

 

[parasaurolophus]

This thread is scary. WTF would really hit their kid with a belt or any other object?

I use a 2x4. You only have to hit 'em once and they learn not to get caught.

Just start breaking fingers. That'll get their attention quickly.

If you get one that's giving you static, he probably thinks he's a real cowboy, so you gotta break that son of a ##### in two. If you wanna know something and he won't tell you, cut off one of his fingers. The little one. Then tell him his thumb's next.

All kidding aside, if a parent can't control a kid by any other means besides severe corporal punishment something bigger is going on.

Do you consider a swat to the ### with your open hand "severe corporal punishment"?

Is your argument that it doesn't hurt?

People try to minimize spanking all the time. If it doesn't hurt, there is no purpose to it. If it does hurt, you are striking your child on the rear until it hurts. Both of these are stupid.

 

[Henry Ford]

Just for clarification--the people who are against the belt (no I'm not for it) are you imaging like red, split-skin, welts etc?

I was hit with the belt by my father and depedning on what I did I would have much rather took the belt over the hand.

As I've stated before I wouldnt either but if you were my father you should have had a shirt that said "Welcome" on it...

There's 7 billion people out there...I was one, as a kid, (and that goes double for my brother) that needed that little bit to "scare" you. It wasnt until later that I relaized it was all just a ploy and one that worked very effectivly. Getting the belt was more like when mom said "I'm going to call your father" when she did the same stuff he would have done... My experiance anyway

I have no idea what this means.

 

[the moops]

This thread is scary. WTF would really hit their kid with a belt or any other object?

Someone who wanted to make sure their child didn't become a liberal?

Conservatives beating children since before World War I. Congrats

 

[William Munny]

Haven't read the whole thread, but is the consensus that its ok to hit a boy but not a girl?

 

[Boomer1]

This thread is scary. WTF would really hit their kid with a belt or any other object?

I use a 2x4. You only have to hit 'em once and they learn not to get caught.

Just start breaking fingers. That'll get their attention quickly.

If you get one that's giving you static, he probably thinks he's a real cowboy, so you gotta break that son of a ##### in two. If you wanna know something and he won't tell you, cut off one of his fingers. The little one. Then tell him his thumb's next.

All kidding aside, if a parent can't control a kid by any other means besides severe corporal punishment something bigger is going on.

Do you consider a swat to the ### with your open hand "severe corporal punishment"?

Is your argument that it doesn't hurt?

People try to minimize spanking all the time. If it doesn't hurt, there is no purpose to it. If it does hurt, you are striking your child on the rear until it hurts. Both of these are stupid.

My guess would be it could hurt, but that is not it's primary purpose which as I've stated is to get their attention that the current situation that they've put themself into is not allow. The shock, of being spanked in my opinion has greater impact than any stinging they receive when done with an open hand through a pair of pants/shorts.

 

[Bigboy10182000]

Just for clarification--the people who are against the belt (no I'm not for it) are you imaging like red, split-skin, welts etc?

I was hit with the belt by my father and depedning on what I did I would have much rather took the belt over the hand.

As I've stated before I wouldnt either but if you were my father you should have had a shirt that said "Welcome" on it...

There's 7 billion people out there...I was one, as a kid, (and that goes double for my brother) that needed that little bit to "scare" you. It wasnt until later that I relaized it was all just a ploy and one that worked very effectivly. Getting the belt was more like when mom said "I'm going to call your father" when she did the same stuff he would have done... My experiance anyway

I have no idea what this means.

Meaning you would have been walked all over..."Welcome" was the "Welcome" mat...

 

[Boomer1]

Question for those opposed to spanking. How would you deal with a child (say 10 y/o) who repeatedly plays with fire? He has already caught the curtains on fire once, you've caught him in his room with matches again after this? He does not have fear of retribution, does not play video games.

Please keep the "just beat him or cut his hands off comments to yourself", they do nothing to help your position, just show you can only deal in extremes.

 

[Gr00vus]

Question for those opposed to spanking. How would you deal with a child (say 10 y/o) who repeatedly plays with fire? He has already caught the curtains on fire once, you've caught him in his room with matches again after this? He does not have fear of retribution, does not play video games.

Please keep the "just beat him or cut his hands off comments to yourself", they do nothing to help your position, just show you can only deal in extremes.

The kid probably needs some counseling, with the counselor providing a plan to deal with the problem that the parents should adhere to. Spanking doesn't address the root cause of the behavior, it just temporarily reprimands a symptom. Could possibly make things worse if the kid responds negatively to the spanking.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

If he's one of those kids that wears his pants down below his ####, then yes, I'd use a belt on him.

 

[shadyridr]

I spanked my kid once and I felt HORRIBLE after doing it. Ill never do that again

 

[Henry Ford]

Just for clarification--the people who are against the belt (no I'm not for it) are you imaging like red, split-skin, welts etc?

I was hit with the belt by my father and depedning on what I did I would have much rather took the belt over the hand.

As I've stated before I wouldnt either but if you were my father you should have had a shirt that said "Welcome" on it...

There's 7 billion people out there...I was one, as a kid, (and that goes double for my brother) that needed that little bit to "scare" you. It wasnt until later that I relaized it was all just a ploy and one that worked very effectivly. Getting the belt was more like when mom said "I'm going to call your father" when she did the same stuff he would have done... My experiance

anyway

I have no idea what this means.

Meaning you would have been walked all over..."Welcome" was the "Welcome" mat...

Not hitting your children doesn't mean you let them walk all over you. Every child is different, as I've alluded to already in this thread. However, that doesn't mean that there are no more effective, healthier ways of disciplining a child than hitting them.

 

[Gr00vus]

I think an interesting follow on poll would explore the correlation between those who think belting/spanking/etc. are o.k. and those who were belted/spanked/etc. as kids. I have a hunch there'd be a pretty strong correlation. I did a quick google search to see if any studies have been done on that and came up empty. But the results did turn up some other interesting reading:

Kids who were spanked have lower IQs.

Spanking causes cancer and asthma.

Spanking ineffective in correcting behavior and and can lead to depression and anxiety in kids.

Spanking causes all kinds of behavioral problems.

Some handwaving combined with some more serious study in the above links.

 

[Henry Ford]

Question for those opposed to spanking. How would you deal with a child (say 10 y/o) who repeatedly plays with fire? He has already caught the curtains on fire once, you've caught him in his room with matches again after this? He does not have fear of retribution, does not play video games.

Please keep the "just beat him or cut his hands off comments to yourself", they do nothing to help your position, just show you can only deal in extremes.

10 is a big deal. If that's the actual age of the kid, I say get him into counseling immediately. A 10-year old has the capacity to understand consequences and be able to make basic judgments about things. A child playing with fire at 10 can be very dangerous now and in the future.

If it's not the case that he simply overestimates his ability to control the fire, or if it goes deeper than that (and it sounds like it may, given that you've caught him with matches since), there are probably much bigger things that need to be addressed.

As far as spanking goes, I seriously doubt it would keep him from being fascinated with fire, unless it's a bad enough spanking to strike legitimate fear of you into his heart. In which case, it's probably not terribly healthy long term and may actually make the fire-setting worse given the possible motivations for it.

Where is he getting matches?

 

[Bigboy10182000]

Just for clarification--the people who are against the belt (no I'm not for it) are you imaging like red, split-skin, welts etc?

I was hit with the belt by my father and depedning on what I did I would have much rather took the belt over the hand.

As I've stated before I wouldnt either but if you were my father you should have had a shirt that said "Welcome" on it...

There's 7 billion people out there...I was one, as a kid, (and that goes double for my brother) that needed that little bit to "scare" you. It wasnt until later that I relaized it was all just a ploy and one that worked very effectivly. Getting the belt was more like when mom said "I'm going to call your father" when she did the same stuff he would have done... My experiance

anyway

I have no idea what this means.

Meaning you would have been walked all over..."Welcome" was the "Welcome" mat...

Not hitting your children doesn't mean you let them walk all over you. Every child is different, as I've alluded to already in this thread. However, that doesn't mean that there are no more effective, healthier ways of disciplining a child than hitting them.

You're 100% right and I'm not disagreeing. There may be healthier ways of disciplining a child and there may not be, it depends on the kid. I never had to lay a hand on my two girls but I have had to pop my two boys a couple of times. Just my hand and a quick pop on the butt and a trip to the steps. After I explain to them but that's what works for MY kids.

 

[Kool-Aid Larry]

This thread is scary. WTF would really hit their kid with a belt or any other object?

I use a 2x4. You only have to hit 'em once and they learn not to get caught.

Just start breaking fingers. That'll get their attention quickly.

If you get one that's giving you static, he probably thinks he's a real cowboy, so you gotta break that son of a ##### in two. If you wanna know something and he won't tell you, cut off one of his fingers. The little one. Then tell him his thumb's next.

All kidding aside, if a parent can't control a kid by any other means besides severe corporal punishment something bigger is going on.

Do you consider a swat to the ### with your open hand "severe corporal punishment"?

Do you consider a swat to the ### with your open hand relevant to this thread?

 

[Novice2]

Spanking causes cancer and asthma.

.

Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahauaha