Is it ever ok to use a belt to discipline your child? (7 Viewers)

[Boomer1]

You are confusing my childhood where spanking occured which involved pain, and IMO were warrented as a means to end a destructive situation, with my kids spanking, which amounted to a swat or two on the ###, very little pain, more shock, but due to their personality, just as effective.

Also - Not sure why you find it hard to believe that an 8 year old associates the spanking they received with the action that caused it, especially when it was explained before and after.

You are again dodging my point. If the 8 year old is to take it seriously and have it affect his behavior it has got to hurt. Period. If you are hurting your child, you are a bad parent.

This cant be real...

Simple question, 6 y/o daughter has burnt herself before reaching for the stove. You've tried repeatedly tried to get her to stop, explaining the danger, watch her constantly but you turn around and she reaching for the stove. Am I a bad parent if I smack her hand or a bad parent because she can't understand?

 

[cstu]

You are confusing my childhood where spanking occured which involved pain, and IMO were warrented as a means to end a destructive situation, with my kids spanking, which amounted to a swat or two on the ###, very little pain, more shock, but due to their personality, just as effective.

Also - Not sure why you find it hard to believe that an 8 year old associates the spanking they received with the action that caused it, especially when it was explained before and after.

You are again dodging my point. If the 8 year old is to take it seriously and have it affect his behavior it has got to hurt. Period. If you are hurting your child, you are a bad parent.

This cant be real...

Simple question, 6 y/o daughter has burnt herself before reaching for the stove. You've tried repeatedly tried to get her to stop, explaining the danger, watch her constantly but you turn around and she reaching for the stove. Am I a bad parent if I smack her hand or a bad parent because she can't understand?

It's instinctive to slap a kid's hand if they are doing that. You're scared for the child and upset. I've done it myself. However, even with the slapping the child's curiosity about the stove is still there and they will probably try again when you're not there to smack them.

I've tried explaining (calmly and repeatedly) it to my 4 yo but when that didn't work I supervised her reaching her hand out to a hot pan. After she verified it was indeed hot and would hurt her she's never messed with the stove since.

 

[parasaurolophus]

You are confusing my childhood where spanking occured which involved pain, and IMO were warrented as a means to end a destructive situation, with my kids spanking, which amounted to a swat or two on the ###, very little pain, more shock, but due to their personality, just as effective.

Also - Not sure why you find it hard to believe that an 8 year old associates the spanking they received with the action that caused it, especially when it was explained before and after.

You are again dodging my point. If the 8 year old is to take it seriously and have it affect his behavior it has got to hurt. Period. If you are hurting your child, you are a bad parent.

This cant be real...

Simple question, 6 y/o daughter has burnt herself before reaching for the stove. You've tried repeatedly tried to get her to stop, explaining the danger, watch her constantly but you turn around and she reaching for the stove. Am I a bad parent if I smack her hand or a bad parent because she can't understand?

If you have to slap your daughters hand when she is 6 to get her to stop reaching for the stove, you havent done your job. At 6 she is old enough to reason.

If she was 2 and reaching for an electrical outlet I don't have an issue with slapping her hand. I said as much early on in this thread and in a different thread about this subject. I only support such actions when they are too young to understand and they need to associate physical pain with their action for safety sake. If she has already burnt her hand on the stove and still wants to burn her hand the physical pain aspect isn't teaching her anything, therefore slapping her hand wont teach her anything new.

 

[Henry Ford]

You are confusing my childhood where spanking occured which involved pain, and IMO were warrented as a means to end a destructive situation, with my kids spanking, which amounted to a swat or two on the ###, very little pain, more shock, but due to their personality, just as effective. Also - Not sure why you find it hard to believe that an 8 year old associates the spanking they received with the action that caused it, especially when it was explained before and after.

You are again dodging my point. If the 8 year old is to take it seriously and have it affect his behavior it has got to hurt. Period. If you are hurting your child, you are a bad parent.

This cant be real... Simple question, 6 y/o daughter has burnt herself before reaching for the stove. You've tried repeatedly tried to get her to stop, explaining the danger, watch her constantly but you turn around and she reaching for the stove. Am I a bad parent if I smack her hand or a bad parent because she can't understand?

Is it somehow faster for you to hit her than it is to, when your hand reaches hers, hold on and pull it away?

 

[Bigboy10182000]

You are confusing my childhood where spanking occured which involved pain, and IMO were warrented as a means to end a destructive situation, with my kids spanking, which amounted to a swat or two on the ###, very little pain, more shock, but due to their personality, just as effective.

Also - Not sure why you find it hard to believe that an 8 year old associates the spanking they received with the action that caused it, especially when it was explained before and after.

You are again dodging my point. If the 8 year old is to take it seriously and have it affect his behavior it has got to hurt. Period. If you are hurting your child, you are a bad parent.

This cant be real...

Simple question, 6 y/o daughter has burnt herself before reaching for the stove. You've tried repeatedly tried to get her to stop, explaining the danger, watch her constantly but you turn around and she reaching for the stove. Am I a bad parent if I smack her hand or a bad parent because she can't understand?

If you have to slap your daughters hand when she is 6 to get her to stop reaching for the stove, you havent done your job. At 6 she is old enough to reason.

If she was 2 and reaching for an electrical outlet I don't have an issue with slapping her hand. I said as much early on in this thread and in a different thread about this subject. I only support such actions when they are too young to understand and they need to associate physical pain with their action for safety sake. If she has already burnt her hand on the stove and still wants to burn her hand the physical pain aspect isn't teaching her anything, therefore slapping her hand wont teach her anything new.

As he relates the level of understanding to age....

You are seriously a mess in this thread...

One day you'll have kids...and a child support payment being made to them, if you don't have one already.

 

[Boomer1]

You are confusing my childhood where spanking occured which involved pain, and IMO were warrented as a means to end a destructive situation, with my kids spanking, which amounted to a swat or two on the ###, very little pain, more shock, but due to their personality, just as effective.

Also - Not sure why you find it hard to believe that an 8 year old associates the spanking they received with the action that caused it, especially when it was explained before and after.

You are again dodging my point. If the 8 year old is to take it seriously and have it affect his behavior it has got to hurt. Period. If you are hurting your child, you are a bad parent.

This cant be real...

Simple question, 6 y/o daughter has burnt herself before reaching for the stove. You've tried repeatedly tried to get her to stop, explaining the danger, watch her constantly but you turn around and she reaching for the stove. Am I a bad parent if I smack her hand or a bad parent because she can't understand?

If you have to slap your daughters hand when she is 6 to get her to stop reaching for the stove, you havent done your job. At 6 she is old enough to reason.

This is good stuff. Please let us know when your book comes out.

See ya....

 

[Boomer1]

You are confusing my childhood where spanking occured which involved pain, and IMO were warrented as a means to end a destructive situation, with my kids spanking, which amounted to a swat or two on the ###, very little pain, more shock, but due to their personality, just as effective. Also - Not sure why you find it hard to believe that an 8 year old associates the spanking they received with the action that caused it, especially when it was explained before and after.

You are again dodging my point. If the 8 year old is to take it seriously and have it affect his behavior it has got to hurt. Period. If you are hurting your child, you are a bad parent.

This cant be real... Simple question, 6 y/o daughter has burnt herself before reaching for the stove. You've tried repeatedly tried to get her to stop, explaining the danger, watch her constantly but you turn around and she reaching for the stove. Am I a bad parent if I smack her hand or a bad parent because she can't understand?

Is it somehow faster for you to hit her than it is to, when your hand reaches hers, hold on and pull it away?

Sorry, you did not answer the question.

 

[The_Man]

Before I had kids, I thought that I would of course occasionally spank them in the course of administering discipline. But in the reality of being a parent, I've come to find the idea almost monstrous. And I've also come to find that punishment is not synonymous with administering discipline and can often actually be counter to helping my kids achieve the modified behavior that I'm after.

If you believe hitting your kid teaches them respect for your authority and convinces them that you are right, fine. I think it teaches them to fear you and to hide their mistakes. I've taught my kids that everyone makes mistakes, and what matters is not that you've made a mistake but how you've dealt with it -- by making any needed restitution and learning not to do it again. Hell, yes it was a ton more work than just swatting them on the butt when they did something wrong, but that work is what I signed up for when I had kids.

Last month, my son (now 15) was putting on his backpack at school and it brushed against the fire alarm. Five or 10 seconds later the fire alarm for the whole school went off and everyone had to leave the building. Nobody else saw it, but he thought maybe he had set it off -- so he went and found his teacher and together they went to the assistant principal. Turned out the alarm had been set off in another part of the building. But when I found out about it, it was a great moment in parenting for me -- when my son felt like he had made a mistake, he could own up to it and accept the responsibility rather than live in fear of punishment.

 

[Henry Ford]

You are confusing my childhood where spanking occured which involved pain, and IMO were warrented as a means to end a destructive situation, with my kids spanking, which amounted to a swat or two on the ###, very little pain, more shock, but due to their personality, just as effective. Also - Not sure why you find it hard to believe that an 8 year old associates the spanking they received with the action that caused it, especially when it was explained before and after.

You are again dodging my point. If the 8 year old is to take it seriously and have it affect his behavior it has got to hurt. Period. If you are hurting your child, you are a bad parent.

This cant be real... Simple question, 6 y/o daughter has burnt herself before reaching for the stove. You've tried repeatedly tried to get her to stop, explaining the danger, watch her constantly but you turn around and she reaching for the stove. Am I a bad parent if I smack her hand or a bad parent because she can't understand?

Is it somehow faster for you to hit her than it is to, when your hand reaches hers, hold on and pull it away?

Sorry, you did not answer the question.

That's because you asked why you're a bad parent and gave two possible reasons. I didn't say you were a bad parent, and can't answer your question.You're not guilty of a bad parenting decision for slapping her hand away if there's a good reason for doing that. Either way, you seem to love your kids. Don't think you are a bad parent, even if you make some bad decisions. Which I'm not really sure happens, anyway.

 

[TxBuckeye]

This is good stuff. Please let us know when your book comes out.

See ya....

As you've used this line several times, I guess the natural follow up is, when is yours due to be released? Since obviously only those that write books can have valid inputs, it seems only natural to assume you must be publishing yours soon.

 

[Kool-Aid Larry]

Before I had kids, I thought that I would of course occasionally spank them in the course of administering discipline. But in the reality of being a parent, I've come to find the idea almost monstrous. And I've also come to find that punishment is not synonymous with administering discipline and can often actually be counter to helping my kids achieve the modified behavior that I'm after.

If you believe hitting your kid teaches them respect for your authority and convinces them that you are right, fine. I think it teaches them to fear you and to hide their mistakes. I've taught my kids that everyone makes mistakes, and what matters is not that you've made a mistake but how you've dealt with it -- by making any needed restitution and learning not to do it again. Hell, yes it was a ton more work than just swatting them on the butt when they did something wrong, but that work is what I signed up for when I had kids.

Last month, my son (now 15) was putting on his backpack at school and it brushed against the fire alarm. Five or 10 seconds later the fire alarm for the whole school went off and everyone had to leave the building. Nobody else saw it, but he thought maybe he had set it off -- so he went and found his teacher and together they went to the assistant principal. Turned out the alarm had been set off in another part of the building. But when I found out about it, it was a great moment in parenting for me -- when my son felt like he had made a mistake, he could own up to it and accept the responsibility rather than live in fear of punishment.

not

great posting

 

[Boomer1]

This is good stuff. Please let us know when your book comes out.

See ya....

As you've used this line several times, I guess the natural follow up is, when is yours due to be released? Since obviously only those that write books can have valid inputs, it seems only natural to assume you must be publishing yours soon.

Link to using this line several times?

I understand and 100% agree that there are many valid points on both side of this arguement. Where I draw the line is the opinion (especially when stated like its fact) is a swat on the ### or slap of the hand = bad parent and/or failed at your job. That's it. No where in anything I've typed have I stated one method is better than another, just what has work for me.

 

[pizzatyme]

What about using a flip flop?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

What about using a flip flop?

My mom used a Hot Wheels track.

 

[Kool-Aid Larry]

What about using a flip flop?

is there a foot in it?

 

[pizzatyme]

What about using a flip flop?

is there a foot in it?

Not sure. I was referring to John Kerry.

 

[parasaurolophus]

You are confusing my childhood where spanking occured which involved pain, and IMO were warrented as a means to end a destructive situation, with my kids spanking, which amounted to a swat or two on the ###, very little pain, more shock, but due to their personality, just as effective.

Also - Not sure why you find it hard to believe that an 8 year old associates the spanking they received with the action that caused it, especially when it was explained before and after.

You are again dodging my point. If the 8 year old is to take it seriously and have it affect his behavior it has got to hurt. Period. If you are hurting your child, you are a bad parent.

This cant be real...

Simple question, 6 y/o daughter has burnt herself before reaching for the stove. You've tried repeatedly tried to get her to stop, explaining the danger, watch her constantly but you turn around and she reaching for the stove. Am I a bad parent if I smack her hand or a bad parent because she can't understand?

If you have to slap your daughters hand when she is 6 to get her to stop reaching for the stove, you havent done your job. At 6 she is old enough to reason.

If she was 2 and reaching for an electrical outlet I don't have an issue with slapping her hand. I said as much early on in this thread and in a different thread about this subject. I only support such actions when they are too young to understand and they need to associate physical pain with their action for safety sake. If she has already burnt her hand on the stove and still wants to burn her hand the physical pain aspect isn't teaching her anything, therefore slapping her hand wont teach her anything new.

As he relates the level of understanding to age....

You are seriously a mess in this thread...

One day you'll have kids...and a child support payment being made to them, if you don't have one already.

Clearly you don't read well. Not surprising.

 

[parasaurolophus]

This is good stuff. Please let us know when your book comes out.

See ya....

As you've used this line several times, I guess the natural follow up is, when is yours due to be released? Since obviously only those that write books can have valid inputs, it seems only natural to assume you must be publishing yours soon.

Link to using this line several times?

I understand and 100% agree that there are many valid points on both side of this arguement. Where I draw the line is the opinion (especially when stated like its fact) is a swat on the ### or slap of the hand = bad parent and/or failed at your job. That's it. No where in anything I've typed have I stated one method is better than another, just what has work for me.

Can't wait for your book.

"Three strikes and youre spanked!" or "How to parent for only 7 seconds a day!"

 

[Gr00vus]

"How to parent for only 7 seconds a day!"

I'll take a signed copy please, and sign me up for the seminar.

 

[gianmarco]

Maybe I should add a new poll for punching?

 

[LinusMarr]

My 4'11 mother used to grab my younger brothers thick, wavy hair and yank on it like she was shifting gears. Now he is bald lol, blouses....

 

[The Commish]

I never did get a direct answer to what a "parenting plan" was, but I think I eventually saw one in action. I'll pass.

 

[tonydead]

A switch works better than a belt. HTH

 

[Patriotsfatboy1]

I have used a belt to discipline my kids a couple of times.

I made it into a loop and snapped it to make a loud noise to scare the crap out of them. No need to actually hit them with it. The threat is sufficient. It probably accomplishes the prerequisite issues when they become adults as well.

 

[Wrigley]

A switch works better than a belt. HTH

my Grandfather used to make me pick my switch out.

It was worse than the spanking.

 

[gianmarco]

AP

 

[squidrope]

Horrible poll results. For those of you who voted it's ok. I'd like to subject you to that.

Line starts here.

 

[Otis]

wtf is a switch? Like a light switch, or is this some hillbilly southern thing?

 

[greenroom]

Horrible poll results. For those of you who voted it's ok. I'd like to subject you to that.

Line starts here.

I voted that it is ok. And guess what I was spanked as a child with belts, and switches. I was not abused. And on the rare occasion that i have to spank my children, it is within reason. I personally have not used a belt or any other item other than my hand. In today's PC society, where we have gone soft as a country, and we let our children run over adults/parents with little recourse.

But that said there is a huge difference between spankings and abuse. And it is a very thin line, and if AP was upset, and inflicted more punishment than he should of then it does cross into abuse.

 

[shadyridr]

A switch works better than a belt. HTH

AP?

 

[Fennis]

Horrible poll results. For those of you who voted it's ok. I'd like to subject you to that.

Line starts here.

I voted that it is ok. And guess what I was spanked as a child with belts, and switches. I was not abused. And on the rare occasion that i have to spank my children, it is within reason. I personally have not used a belt or any other item other than my hand. In today's PC society, where we have gone soft as a country, and we let our children run over adults/parents with little recourse.

But that said there is a huge difference between spankings and abuse. And it is a very thin line, and if AP was upset, and inflicted more punishment than he should of then it does cross into abuse.

I'm curious if society is soft, and its ok to hit children with belts and switches, why don't you hit your kids with belts and switches?

 

[jonessed]

Horrible poll results. For those of you who voted it's ok. I'd like to subject you to that.

Line starts here.

I voted that it is ok. And guess what I was spanked as a child with belts, and switches. I was not abused. And on the rare occasion that i have to spank my children, it is within reason. I personally have not used a belt or any other item other than my hand. In today's PC society, where we have gone soft as a country, and we let our children run over adults/parents with little recourse. But that said there is a huge difference between spankings and abuse. And it is a very thin line, and if AP was upset, and inflicted more punishment than he should of then it does cross into abuse.

I'm curious if society is soft, and its ok to hit children with belts and switches, why don't you hit your kids with belts and switches?

 

[greenroom]

Horrible poll results. For those of you who voted it's ok. I'd like to subject you to that.

Line starts here.

I voted that it is ok. And guess what I was spanked as a child with belts, and switches. I was not abused. And on the rare occasion that i have to spank my children, it is within reason. I personally have not used a belt or any other item other than my hand. In today's PC society, where we have gone soft as a country, and we let our children run over adults/parents with little recourse.

But that said there is a huge difference between spankings and abuse. And it is a very thin line, and if AP was upset, and inflicted more punishment than he should of then it does cross into abuse.

I'm curious if society is soft, and its ok to hit children with belts and switches, why don't you hit your kids with belts and switches?

Very easy answer, I have not had to do it. And hopefully I never have to, but if I felt as a father I would do it. ul

 

[flapgreen]

Horrible poll results. For those of you who voted it's ok. I'd like to subject you to that.

Line starts here.

Who made you judge?

 

[flapgreen]

wtf is a switch? Like a light switch, or is this some hillbilly southern thing?

ADP lives in Minnesota and was raised in Texas. Hth

 

[Dinsy Ejotuz]

I feel nothing but sorrow for people who think that 'discipline' is what was in ADP's heart while he was beating his 4-year old child bloody with more than 20 strokes that left visible injuries a week later.

I can't even get angry about it, just sad.

 

[snellman]

wtf is a switch? Like a light switch, or is this some hillbilly southern thing?

I switch is a branch or a weeping willow branch. (had it used on me a couple times). Really sucked when you had to go out and choose the switch yourself. Don't know if it is a southern thing, I grew up in Iowa.

 

[BustedKnuckles]

wtf is a switch? Like a light switch, or is this some hillbilly southern thing?

I switch is a branch or a weeping willow branch. (had it used on me a couple times). Really sucked when you had to go out and choose the switch yourself. Don't know if it is a southern thing, I grew up in Iowa.

well that would smart

 

[meatwad1]

I voted yes with trepidation.. I work with kids so I see the results of the nanny, no discipline, no consequences culture we have every day. Our country is sinking. We get weaker and weaker as each year passes. That being said, whipping a 4 year old is unacceptable. That is way too young. When I got hit with a belt/wooden spoon I was age 10 - 14, and the few times that it happened, it was for things that I was totally in the wrong for. And even though the beatings hurt, they were not sadistic. I guess it is hard to draw the line for some people. I am sad that we are at a point in society where parents are afraid to be parents, but on the other hand, what can you do? Sort of a tough question.

 

[tonydead]

A switch works better than a belt. HTH

AP?

Put him on the bench this weekend. We should know by next waiver deadline if its OK to drop him. If you appreciate this FF advise please make a PayPal donation to adpoutofajob@formervikingconvict.com.

 

[Daywalker]

I'm fine with a spank on the bottom. Even taking off the belt and smack on the bottom. A little flip-slap to the face from mom if you were being disrespectful wouldn't really get me out of joint either.

A one-off spank with the hand or a belt is more shocking to the kid then anything. Get's the point across. Spanking or taking a belt REPEATEDLY to a kid is just causing physical harm and satiating the parent's anger.

 

[IC FBGCav]

I can probably count the time I got beat from my parents on one hand. Might be more but I only remember two. My mom was counting and hitting me with a ruler on my ###. She was in twenties when my older sister stepped. I was about 12. I know why she did it and I deserved it. They only other one I remember was I was 13.

It was a wait til dad get home thing............I don't remember what I did. Dad gets home put me in front of the front door and hits me 3 times with his belt. I look back after the 3 hits and told him he can't hurt me. He hit me 3 more times. I was hurt...........but not that bad. But it brought me down a few notches.

 

[tdoss]

They should make a reality show where random white folks get to judge anyone and everyone.

Screw baseball...judging one another is our favorite past-time.

 

[Papa Georgio]

I haven't read anything but the OP. My take and my rule I never discipline while I am angry. I have given 1 spanking in my life and I have great kids. The point behind discipline is to change the behavior. Most times spankings only make them better at getting away with things.

 

[TxBuckeye]

wtf is a switch? Like a light switch, or is this some hillbilly southern thing?

You should really quit blaming your ignorance on matters on not being from the South. I grew up in the north, like many here, and know what a switch is. It's ok to admit there are some things you just don't know.

That being said, if you have to resort to hitting your child with something other than your hand, that it is a basic failure in parenting. In fact, it has nothing to do with parenting, and everything to do with anger and lack of self control. Papa Georgio just above said never punish while angry. That's great advice.

 

[KarmaPolice]

wtf is a switch? Like a light switch, or is this some hillbilly southern thing?

You should really quit blaming your ignorance on matters on not being from the South. I grew up in the north, like many here, and know what a switch is. It's ok to admit there are some things you just don't know.

That being said, if you have to resort to hitting your child, that it is a basic failure in parenting. In fact, it has nothing to do with parenting, and everything to do with anger and lack of self control. Papa Georgio just above said never punish while angry. That's great advice.

FYP.

 

[timschochet]

I don't believe in it. I think it provides an excuse for child abusers to use in order to justify sadistic behavior. It appears that Adrian Peterson is one of those people.

That being said, we need to draw a distinction between those who use this form of punishment in an honest attempt to raise their children, and those who abuse children. It is far too easy to over generalize so that they are all placed in the same group, and I see that starting to happen already.

 

[pollardsvision]

I don't believe in it. I think it provides an excuse for child abusers to use in order to justify sadistic behavior. It appears that Adrian Peterson is one of those people.

That being said, we need to draw a distinction between those who use this form of punishment in an honest attempt to raise their children, and those who abuse children. It is far too easy to over generalize so that they are all placed in the same group, and I see that starting to happen already.

Yeah, I'd agree.

I think it can be a fine form of punishment when done properly.I have no idea what percentage of people use it properly and what percentage do it out of anger/sadism, but considering the consequences for children in the latter group, I think it makes sense to just let this be one of those things we don't do anymore.

As a society, the benefits certainly don't outweigh the costs.

 

[cstu]

Clearly using physical violence on children works because Peterson turned into a great and loving father.

 

[cstu]

A switch works better than a belt. HTH