Is it ever ok to use a belt to discipline your child? (1 Viewer)

[Pick]

I got hit with hand, with a belt, and everything else. I didn't think any differently depending on what was used. Getting beaten is getting beaten.

And again I ask what's wrong with the parent being the symbol of discipline?

 

[moleculo]

Why do people think this behavior against their own children is so acceptable, but would never in a million years do it to another person? Sounds like a bully to me. I think maybe I am going to implement a policy that when people at work are late, they are going to get the belt across the butt. I will leave the pants on so it will just hurt, but cause no damage.

do you really think that kids are essentially equivalent to their parents in stature?

 

[parasaurolophus]

Why do people think this behavior against their own children is so acceptable, but would never in a million years do it to another person? Sounds like a bully to me. I think maybe I am going to implement a policy that when people at work are late, they are going to get the belt across the butt. I will leave the pants on so it will just hurt, but cause no damage.

do you really think that kids are essentially equivalent to their parents in stature?

When it comes to judging whether or not it is ok to whip them, yes.When it comes to who gets to make the rules of the house, no.Thinking it is ok to hit your own child, but not ok to hit a stranger seems completely whacko to me.

 

[mr roboto]

Why do people think this behavior against their own children is so acceptable, but would never in a million years do it to another person? Sounds like a bully to me. I think maybe I am going to implement a policy that when people at work are late, they are going to get the belt across the butt. I will leave the pants on so it will just hurt, but cause no damage.

do you really think that kids are essentially equivalent to their parents in stature?

When it comes to judging whether or not it is ok to whip them, yes.When it comes to who gets to make the rules of the house, no.Thinking it is ok to hit your own child, but not ok to hit a stranger seems completely whacko to me.

It's not your job to raise an adult. It is your job as a parent to raise your child. So there's that difference.

 

[parasaurolophus]

Why do people think this behavior against their own children is so acceptable, but would never in a million years do it to another person? Sounds like a bully to me. I think maybe I am going to implement a policy that when people at work are late, they are going to get the belt across the butt. I will leave the pants on so it will just hurt, but cause no damage.

do you really think that kids are essentially equivalent to their parents in stature?

When it comes to judging whether or not it is ok to whip them, yes.When it comes to who gets to make the rules of the house, no.Thinking it is ok to hit your own child, but not ok to hit a stranger seems completely whacko to me.

It's not your job to raise an adult. It is your job as a parent to raise your child. So there's that difference.

What about a teacher/student relationship? coach/player?It is a teacher's job to make sure a student behaves.It is a coach's job to make sure a player behaves.Does that make it ok for you? How does a teacher do it without hitting, but yet a parent needs to hit? Are they just better at it? Or is it because it is against the law so they are forced to find other means and actually work at it.

 

[mr roboto]

Why do people think this behavior against their own children is so acceptable, but would never in a million years do it to another person? Sounds like a bully to me. I think maybe I am going to implement a policy that when people at work are late, they are going to get the belt across the butt. I will leave the pants on so it will just hurt, but cause no damage.

do you really think that kids are essentially equivalent to their parents in stature?

When it comes to judging whether or not it is ok to whip them, yes.When it comes to who gets to make the rules of the house, no.Thinking it is ok to hit your own child, but not ok to hit a stranger seems completely whacko to me.

It's not your job to raise an adult. It is your job as a parent to raise your child. So there's that difference.

What about a teacher/student relationship? coach/player?It is a teacher's job to make sure a student behaves.It is a coach's job to make sure a player behaves.Does that make it ok for you? How does a teacher do it without hitting, but yet a parent needs to hit? Are they just better at it? Or is it because it is against the law so they are forced to find other means and actually work at it.

You have to be kidding. No. Teachers don't raise kids. Neither do coaches. Or at least they shouldn't have that responsibility. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you are relatively young and have no kids.ETA I am against spanking past a relatively young age. It's to get their attention when they are younger IMO

 

[Carolina Hustler]

Why do people think this behavior against their own children is so acceptable, but would never in a million years do it to another person? Sounds like a bully to me.

Attacking another adult, or anyone for that matter is usually done with the intent to harm.A spanking is done with the intent to teach, and to safeguard children from much greater harms.It's all about the intent..

What if an old grandpa took a belt to an 18 year old that was cutting through his lawn with only the intent to teach him it is not ok to cut through his lawn?That ok?

Is the 18 year old his son?

I thought intent was all that mattered?Old gramps is just trying to teach him. That's all.After all there was no damage.I went to the grocery store tonight and the cashier gave me too little change and then smarted off to me afterward. I took her right over my knee so I could teach her that she needed to learn respect. Three whacks. These 16 year olds need to be taught respect so they can succeed in life.

16-18 = Children.. got it..

So is it ok or not? I see you are avoiding answering the question.

Spanking teenagers is kinda ridiculous in my opinion.

 

[Carolina Hustler]

Why do people think this behavior against their own children is so acceptable, but would never in a million years do it to another person? Sounds like a bully to me.

Attacking another adult, or anyone for that matter is usually done with the intent to harm.A spanking is done with the intent to teach, and to safeguard children from much greater harms.It's all about the intent..

Then why does anyone use a belt? If it's just about teaching, seems like a hand would be way simpler.

Because the belt, or the paddle are symbols of discipline.. Personally, I think the belt is more appropriate. Using your hands to discipline a child seems inappropriate to me..If you intended to "Damage" someone, you could do a whole lot more damage with your hands then with a strap of leather..

Yup. This is what I said earlier in the thread. Using the belt removes the parent from being the source of the disciplinary pain. The belt becomes the feared object and not the parent.

Anyone who believes this crock of #### please reread 1st page of this thread. You'll know the post when u get to it.

link to it if you're trying to make a point. I'm not searching for it..

 

[parasaurolophus]

Why do people think this behavior against their own children is so acceptable, but would never in a million years do it to another person? Sounds like a bully to me. I think maybe I am going to implement a policy that when people at work are late, they are going to get the belt across the butt. I will leave the pants on so it will just hurt, but cause no damage.

do you really think that kids are essentially equivalent to their parents in stature?

When it comes to judging whether or not it is ok to whip them, yes.When it comes to who gets to make the rules of the house, no.Thinking it is ok to hit your own child, but not ok to hit a stranger seems completely whacko to me.

It's not your job to raise an adult. It is your job as a parent to raise your child. So there's that difference.

What about a teacher/student relationship? coach/player?It is a teacher's job to make sure a student behaves.It is a coach's job to make sure a player behaves.Does that make it ok for you? How does a teacher do it without hitting, but yet a parent needs to hit? Are they just better at it? Or is it because it is against the law so they are forced to find other means and actually work at it.

You have to be kidding. No. Teachers don't raise kids. Neither do coaches. Or at least they shouldn't have that responsibility. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you are relatively young and have no kids.ETA I am against spanking past a relatively young age. It's to get their attention when they are younger IMO

You are incorrect. 34 have a 9 year old son.

 

[mr roboto]

Why do people think this behavior against their own children is so acceptable, but would never in a million years do it to another person? Sounds like a bully to me. I think maybe I am going to implement a policy that when people at work are late, they are going to get the belt across the butt. I will leave the pants on so it will just hurt, but cause no damage.

do you really think that kids are essentially equivalent to their parents in stature?

When it comes to judging whether or not it is ok to whip them, yes.When it comes to who gets to make the rules of the house, no.Thinking it is ok to hit your own child, but not ok to hit a stranger seems completely whacko to me.

It's not your job to raise an adult. It is your job as a parent to raise your child. So there's that difference.

What about a teacher/student relationship? coach/player?It is a teacher's job to make sure a student behaves.It is a coach's job to make sure a player behaves.Does that make it ok for you? How does a teacher do it without hitting, but yet a parent needs to hit? Are they just better at it? Or is it because it is against the law so they are forced to find other means and actually work at it.

You have to be kidding. No. Teachers don't raise kids. Neither do coaches. Or at least they shouldn't have that responsibility. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you are relatively young and have no kids.ETA I am against spanking past a relatively young age. It's to get their attention when they are younger IMO

You are incorrect. 34 have a 9 year old son.

And you think the coach or teacher/ kid relationship is analogous to the parent/kid relationship?

 

[Carolina Hustler]

Funny to me that some folks against spankings are:

- Okay with abortion

- Okay with capital punishment

- Okay with physical violence against another person

- Okay with war

- Okay with knowingly killing civilians during war

I doubt you'd find many people against spankings who were 'okay' with #3 or #5. Who is okay with killing civilians during war anyway?

Typically hard to find folks that object to the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki..

Not that this topic needs discussion here..

I just can't understand it.. Spanking a child < any of those items above..

Spanking a child is a choice with clear alternatives. I'd guess the majority of the people who are in favor of items above, are only in favor of them when not presented with a clear alternative. It's not like there are "PRO abortion" people. They are pro choice. I don't know anyone (sane) who is PRO war is PRO hurting people.Kind of hard to really think about though because I don't think many people are 'okay' with any of the things above, regardless of their feelings on spankings. They're just okay with them in certain situations. Just like most of the situations above, people disagree about when those certain situations actually apply.

All of the examples above need a lot more context in order to be relevant. I doubt almost anyone you talk to is "okay with war" when all it would take is a phone call to stop from going to war. Especially since my child isn't Nazi Germany. They're my child. They are a developing country who relies on me for everything in life. I shouldn't need to resort to "war" when other things can just as easily accomplish the same goal.

The spanking is no where near as detrimental as any of the above. And there are clear alternatives to all of those items listed.. Spanking is situational was well..Being mean to his sister.. Lecture, grounding and/or loss of privileges

Poor grades.. Lecture, grounding and/or loss of privileges

Swearing at their mother.. Lecture, grounding and/or loss of privileges

Catch a child playing with matches in his bedroom.. Lecture and Spanking

And when "Lecture, grounding and/or loss of privileges" doesn't work.. Spanking

Children respond differently. Some will be easy to correct, and some won't..

Please continue with this series of events.What do we do when they get in a fight at school? Or steal something? Or whatever you would deem worse than the matches?

Hit them even harder with the belt? Do we find another device around the house we can hit them with that should cause more damage?

I'm not being snarky, I'm seriously interested.

Spanking has been going on for a long, long time. Why do you act like its some new form of discipline that is going to raise a world of violent savages?

Because there are more than 100 people ITT alone(in the poll) who deem it acceptable to hit their child with a belt. I don't really think that's all that far off from being a violent savage.The concept of hitting your child with your open hand as a punishment seems pretty bad to me. The concept of not being happy at the amount of pain/damage you are inflicting upon your child, so you must seek out some sort of weapon seems pretty damn violent to me.

Damage = red marksCan you tell me what damage can be done with a belt spanking if done properly? Hands can be just as "damaging" as a belt if not more..

I have no idea what hitting someone with a belt "done properly" even means. There is no "done properly" in my mind. If using a belt doesn't inflict more pain, then why do people use them?I have no experience with the subject. But if you asked me which was more likely to leave a mark on someones ###, for more than just a few seconds, I would definitely bet that the belt was more likely. But again, I have no experience in the matter, just seems like common sense.

Certainly not meant to feel good...Tell me how you'd punish a child..

Situation #1) Lets say 7 years old, playing with matches in his bedroom?

Situation #2)Doesn't seem to be responding well to being sent to his room. Decides to start kicking holes in the walls and breaking things. You go in to talk to him and he ignores you, won't even acknowledge you're in the room.. You say your piece and leave again and he breaks something else.. Maybe throws something through the window.. There are children like this..

 

[moleculo]

Why do people think this behavior against their own children is so acceptable, but would never in a million years do it to another person? Sounds like a bully to me.

I think maybe I am going to implement a policy that when people at work are late, they are going to get the belt across the butt. I will leave the pants on so it will just hurt, but cause no damage.

do you really think that kids are essentially equivalent to their parents in stature?

When it comes to judging whether or not it is ok to whip them, yes.When it comes to who gets to make the rules of the house, no.

Thinking it is ok to hit your own child, but not ok to hit a stranger seems completely whacko to me.

It's not your job to raise an adult. It is your job as a parent to raise your child. So there's that difference.

What about a teacher/student relationship? coach/player?It is a teacher's job to make sure a student behaves.

It is a coach's job to make sure a player behaves.

Does that make it ok for you? How does a teacher do it without hitting, but yet a parent needs to hit? Are they just better at it? Or is it because it is against the law so they are forced to find other means and actually work at it.

what Mr Roboto said, but I'd also like to point out that there was a time when teachers did paddle. What do they do now and is it effective - I'll defer to any elementary teacher with first hand knowledge, but in the end it's not a teachers job to raise a kid. I also kind of take offense at the notion that it's a teacher/coaches job to make sure a student/player behaves....wtf? Where is a parent's responsibility here? If I get wind of my kids acting up in class, you better believe that there will be punishment at home. Now - it may not be spanking as that is reserved for serious business, but you better believe it isn't off the table.

 

[Carolina Hustler]

I got hit with hand, with a belt, and everything else. I didn't think any differently depending on what was used. Getting beaten is getting beaten.And again I ask what's wrong with the parent being the symbol of discipline?

There is a time for that fear, and there is a time for that fear to be stowed.. You don't walk around carrying a belt in your hand.. Kinda hard to walk around without your hands..

 

[Carolina Hustler]

Being against spanking <> being against using a belt. I have no problem with spanking if it is necessary.Can someone answer a question I had earlier? Why the need for a belt or any object? Afraid to hurt your soft puffy hands?

This is one of the replies from earlier."Because the belt, or the paddle are symbols of discipline.. Personally, I think the belt is more appropriate. Using your hands to discipline a child seems inappropriate to me..If you intended to "Damage" someone, you could do a whole lot more damage with your hands then with a strap of leather.. "

IMHO, none of that makes any sense. Sure you can do a lot of damage with a hand, but I don't think anyone is advocating a closed-fist beating.Maybe I was doing it wrong the 4-5 times I spanked my kids.

Are you telling me you can use discretion when spanking? That when using your hand, you don't have to do damage? To bad that's not the case with a belt huh? We could have avoided this whole silly discussion..(sarcasm not aimed specifically at you, more so a few others)

 

[Carolina Hustler]

Why do people think this behavior against their own children is so acceptable, but would never in a million years do it to another person? Sounds like a bully to me. I think maybe I am going to implement a policy that when people at work are late, they are going to get the belt across the butt. I will leave the pants on so it will just hurt, but cause no damage.

do you really think that kids are essentially equivalent to their parents in stature?

When it comes to judging whether or not it is ok to whip them, yes.When it comes to who gets to make the rules of the house, no.Thinking it is ok to hit your own child, but not ok to hit a stranger seems completely whacko to me.

What do you hope to achieve when hitting a stranger? Beyond self defense situations..

 

[Carolina Hustler]

Why do people think this behavior against their own children is so acceptable, but would never in a million years do it to another person? Sounds like a bully to me. I think maybe I am going to implement a policy that when people at work are late, they are going to get the belt across the butt. I will leave the pants on so it will just hurt, but cause no damage.

do you really think that kids are essentially equivalent to their parents in stature?

When it comes to judging whether or not it is ok to whip them, yes.When it comes to who gets to make the rules of the house, no.Thinking it is ok to hit your own child, but not ok to hit a stranger seems completely whacko to me.

It's not your job to raise an adult. It is your job as a parent to raise your child. So there's that difference.

What about a teacher/student relationship? coach/player?It is a teacher's job to make sure a student behaves.It is a coach's job to make sure a player behaves.Does that make it ok for you? How does a teacher do it without hitting, but yet a parent needs to hit? Are they just better at it? Or is it because it is against the law so they are forced to find other means and actually work at it.

Teachers and coaches can just eliminate the problem by sending them home to the parents right? Teachers have kids suspended from school. Coaches kick players off the team..Guess you intend on kicking your 9 year old out of the house.. Nice..

 

[ZBTHorton]

Certainly not meant to feel good...Tell me how you'd punish a child.. Situation #1) Lets say 7 years old, playing with matches in his bedroom?Situation #2)Doesn't seem to be responding well to being sent to his room. Decides to start kicking holes in the walls and breaking things. You go in to talk to him and he ignores you, won't even acknowledge you're in the room.. You say your piece and leave again and he breaks something else.. Maybe throws something through the window.. There are children like this..

Bleh, typed up a longer response, forum ate it.But it's completely impossible to predict how I would interact with a fictional child I've never had interaction with. Maybe that's the whole problem here. You do realize not every child should be punished the exact same way, right? They aren't all the same. He's 7 year old, I would hope in situation 1 I would have some clues as to what types of punishments get through to them and we'd find a suitable punishment.As for option #2, I really have no idea. Sounds like I've done some really bad parenting previous to this though, so I hope I'm a big enough man to seek some sort of professional help for the situation. I'd definitely get us involved with a counselor, talk to his teachers/coaches, and see if I can figure out why he's acting out to such a ridiculous extent. Then we'd move forward from there.But every child is different and responds differently to different parenting tactics. I have no interest in simply beating them into submission.

 

[parasaurolophus]

Why do people think this behavior against their own children is so acceptable, but would never in a million years do it to another person? Sounds like a bully to me.

I think maybe I am going to implement a policy that when people at work are late, they are going to get the belt across the butt. I will leave the pants on so it will just hurt, but cause no damage.

do you really think that kids are essentially equivalent to their parents in stature?

When it comes to judging whether or not it is ok to whip them, yes.When it comes to who gets to make the rules of the house, no.

Thinking it is ok to hit your own child, but not ok to hit a stranger seems completely whacko to me.

It's not your job to raise an adult. It is your job as a parent to raise your child. So there's that difference.

What about a teacher/student relationship? coach/player?It is a teacher's job to make sure a student behaves.

It is a coach's job to make sure a player behaves.

Does that make it ok for you? How does a teacher do it without hitting, but yet a parent needs to hit? Are they just better at it? Or is it because it is against the law so they are forced to find other means and actually work at it.

what Mr Roboto said, but I'd also like to point out that there was a time when teachers did paddle. What do they do now and is it effective - I'll defer to any elementary teacher with first hand knowledge, but in the end it's not a teachers job to raise a kid. I also kind of take offense at the notion that it's a teacher/coaches job to make sure a student/player behaves....wtf? Where is a parent's responsibility here? If I get wind of my kids acting up in class, you better believe that there will be punishment at home. Now - it may not be spanking as that is reserved for serious business, but you better believe it isn't off the table.

Take offense? That statement doesn't even make sense. If a child acts up in class is the teacher supposed to simply ignore it and send an email to a parent at the end of the day? Like it or not teachers discipline children every day in this country. If one of the kids on the team won't stop talking all practice and refuses to do drills properly, is the coach supposed to let the kid be a distraction all practice and then call the parents afterward? Seriously? I don't spank so perhaps I am misunderstanding what people are using it for. The posts I have read in here lead me to believe parents use it when their children misbehave. So if it is a good deterrent for that, and there is no damage, why would people be against teachers doing it but in favor doing it themselves?

 

[Carolina Hustler]

Certainly not meant to feel good...Tell me how you'd punish a child.. Situation #1) Lets say 7 years old, playing with matches in his bedroom?Situation #2)Doesn't seem to be responding well to being sent to his room. Decides to start kicking holes in the walls and breaking things. You go in to talk to him and he ignores you, won't even acknowledge you're in the room.. You say your piece and leave again and he breaks something else.. Maybe throws something through the window.. There are children like this..

Bleh, typed up a longer response, forum ate it.But it's completely impossible to predict how I would interact with a fictional child I've never had interaction with. Maybe that's the whole problem here. You do realize not every child should be punished the exact same way, right? They aren't all the same. He's 7 year old, I would hope in situation 1 I would have some clues as to what types of punishments get through to them and we'd find a suitable punishment.As for option #2, I really have no idea. Sounds like I've done some really bad parenting previous to this though, so I hope I'm a big enough man to seek some sort of professional help for the situation. I'd definitely get us involved with a counselor, talk to his teachers/coaches, and see if I can figure out why he's acting out to such a ridiculous extent. Then we'd move forward from there.But every child is different and responds differently to different parenting tactics. I have no interest in simply beating them into submission.

I think you assume spanking is what most picture as child abuse.. It doesn't have to be.. The proper way to spank a child is typically to leave just enough impression in that child's mind that the outcome for whatever the particular issue is, is not favorable..Like you said, every situation and child is different. Spankings shouldn't be the first or primary method of punishment. But when the discretion is serious, or when nothing else is getting through, the spanking is certainly an optional next step..Do you have children?

 

[parasaurolophus]

Why do people think this behavior against their own children is so acceptable, but would never in a million years do it to another person? Sounds like a bully to me. I think maybe I am going to implement a policy that when people at work are late, they are going to get the belt across the butt. I will leave the pants on so it will just hurt, but cause no damage.

do you really think that kids are essentially equivalent to their parents in stature?

When it comes to judging whether or not it is ok to whip them, yes.When it comes to who gets to make the rules of the house, no.Thinking it is ok to hit your own child, but not ok to hit a stranger seems completely whacko to me.

What do you hope to achieve when hitting a stranger? Beyond self defense situations..

I don't hope to achieve anything because I don't do it.In fictitious Carolina Hustler world what if I was hoping to get them to learn not to throw trash in my yard? If a young kid threw his candy wrapper in my yard every day and one day I waited for him and caught him doing it and whipped him with a belt on his butt, don't you think that would teach him a lesson? Don't you think he would stop throwing trash? Isn't that your desired end result?

 

[Carolina Hustler]

Why do people think this behavior against their own children is so acceptable, but would never in a million years do it to another person? Sounds like a bully to me.

I think maybe I am going to implement a policy that when people at work are late, they are going to get the belt across the butt. I will leave the pants on so it will just hurt, but cause no damage.

do you really think that kids are essentially equivalent to their parents in stature?

When it comes to judging whether or not it is ok to whip them, yes.When it comes to who gets to make the rules of the house, no.

Thinking it is ok to hit your own child, but not ok to hit a stranger seems completely whacko to me.

It's not your job to raise an adult. It is your job as a parent to raise your child. So there's that difference.

What about a teacher/student relationship? coach/player?It is a teacher's job to make sure a student behaves.

It is a coach's job to make sure a player behaves.

Does that make it ok for you? How does a teacher do it without hitting, but yet a parent needs to hit? Are they just better at it? Or is it because it is against the law so they are forced to find other means and actually work at it.

what Mr Roboto said, but I'd also like to point out that there was a time when teachers did paddle. What do they do now and is it effective - I'll defer to any elementary teacher with first hand knowledge, but in the end it's not a teachers job to raise a kid. I also kind of take offense at the notion that it's a teacher/coaches job to make sure a student/player behaves....wtf? Where is a parent's responsibility here? If I get wind of my kids acting up in class, you better believe that there will be punishment at home. Now - it may not be spanking as that is reserved for serious business, but you better believe it isn't off the table.

Take offense? That statement doesn't even make sense. If a child acts up in class is the teacher supposed to simply ignore it and send an email to a parent at the end of the day? Like it or not teachers discipline children every day in this country. If one of the kids on the team won't stop talking all practice and refuses to do drills properly, is the coach supposed to let the kid be a distraction all practice and then call the parents afterward? Seriously? I don't spank so perhaps I am misunderstanding what people are using it for. The posts I have read in here lead me to believe parents use it when their children misbehave. So if it is a good deterrent for that, and there is no damage, why would people be against teachers doing it but in favor doing it themselves?

Some parents wouldn't mind having their children spanked for misbehaving at school.. I personally would like to judge for myself if the behavior warrants a spanking..

 

[Christo]

Certainly not meant to feel good...

Tell me how you'd punish a child..

Situation #1) Lets say 7 years old, playing with matches in his bedroom?

Situation #2)Doesn't seem to be responding well to being sent to his room. Decides to start kicking holes in the walls and breaking things. You go in to talk to him and he ignores you, won't even acknowledge you're in the room.. You say your piece and leave again and he breaks something else.. Maybe throws something through the window.. There are children like this..

Bleh, typed up a longer response, forum ate it.But it's completely impossible to predict how I would interact with a fictional child I've never had interaction with. Maybe that's the whole problem here. You do realize not every child should be punished the exact same way, right? They aren't all the same.

He's 7 year old, I would hope in situation 1 I would have some clues as to what types of punishments get through to them and we'd find a suitable punishment.

As for option #2, I really have no idea. Sounds like I've done some really bad parenting previous to this though, so I hope I'm a big enough man to seek some sort of professional help for the situation. I'd definitely get us involved with a counselor, talk to his teachers/coaches, and see if I can figure out why he's acting out to such a ridiculous extent. Then we'd move forward from there.

But every child is different and responds differently to different parenting tactics. I have no interest in simply beating them into submission.

It's interesting you would say this given your stance on the issue.

 

[ZBTHorton]

Certainly not meant to feel good...Tell me how you'd punish a child.. Situation #1) Lets say 7 years old, playing with matches in his bedroom?Situation #2)Doesn't seem to be responding well to being sent to his room. Decides to start kicking holes in the walls and breaking things. You go in to talk to him and he ignores you, won't even acknowledge you're in the room.. You say your piece and leave again and he breaks something else.. Maybe throws something through the window.. There are children like this..

Bleh, typed up a longer response, forum ate it.But it's completely impossible to predict how I would interact with a fictional child I've never had interaction with. Maybe that's the whole problem here. You do realize not every child should be punished the exact same way, right? They aren't all the same. He's 7 year old, I would hope in situation 1 I would have some clues as to what types of punishments get through to them and we'd find a suitable punishment.As for option #2, I really have no idea. Sounds like I've done some really bad parenting previous to this though, so I hope I'm a big enough man to seek some sort of professional help for the situation. I'd definitely get us involved with a counselor, talk to his teachers/coaches, and see if I can figure out why he's acting out to such a ridiculous extent. Then we'd move forward from there.But every child is different and responds differently to different parenting tactics. I have no interest in simply beating them into submission.

I think you assume spanking is what most picture as child abuse.. It doesn't have to be.. The proper way to spank a child it typically to leave just enough impression that child's mind that the outcome for whatever the particular issue is, is not favorable..Like you said, every situation and child is different. Spankings shouldn't be the first or primary method of punishment. But when the discretion is serious, or when nothing else is getting through, the spanking is certainly an optional next step..Do you have children?

One.Sorry, I just disagree with what you typed above. You can justify it to me any way you want, but I could never justify whipping my children to myself.

 

[ZBTHorton]

Certainly not meant to feel good...

Tell me how you'd punish a child..

Situation #1) Lets say 7 years old, playing with matches in his bedroom?

Situation #2)Doesn't seem to be responding well to being sent to his room. Decides to start kicking holes in the walls and breaking things. You go in to talk to him and he ignores you, won't even acknowledge you're in the room.. You say your piece and leave again and he breaks something else.. Maybe throws something through the window.. There are children like this..

Bleh, typed up a longer response, forum ate it.But it's completely impossible to predict how I would interact with a fictional child I've never had interaction with. Maybe that's the whole problem here. You do realize not every child should be punished the exact same way, right? They aren't all the same.

He's 7 year old, I would hope in situation 1 I would have some clues as to what types of punishments get through to them and we'd find a suitable punishment.

As for option #2, I really have no idea. Sounds like I've done some really bad parenting previous to this though, so I hope I'm a big enough man to seek some sort of professional help for the situation. I'd definitely get us involved with a counselor, talk to his teachers/coaches, and see if I can figure out why he's acting out to such a ridiculous extent. Then we'd move forward from there.

But every child is different and responds differently to different parenting tactics. I have no interest in simply beating them into submission.

It's interesting you would say this given your stance on the issue.

I don't consider whipping children to be a parenting tactic.

 

[moleculo]

Why do people think this behavior against their own children is so acceptable, but would never in a million years do it to another person? Sounds like a bully to me.

I think maybe I am going to implement a policy that when people at work are late, they are going to get the belt across the butt. I will leave the pants on so it will just hurt, but cause no damage.

do you really think that kids are essentially equivalent to their parents in stature?

When it comes to judging whether or not it is ok to whip them, yes.When it comes to who gets to make the rules of the house, no.

Thinking it is ok to hit your own child, but not ok to hit a stranger seems completely whacko to me.

It's not your job to raise an adult. It is your job as a parent to raise your child. So there's that difference.

What about a teacher/student relationship? coach/player?It is a teacher's job to make sure a student behaves.

It is a coach's job to make sure a player behaves.

Does that make it ok for you? How does a teacher do it without hitting, but yet a parent needs to hit? Are they just better at it? Or is it because it is against the law so they are forced to find other means and actually work at it.

what Mr Roboto said, but I'd also like to point out that there was a time when teachers did paddle. What do they do now and is it effective - I'll defer to any elementary teacher with first hand knowledge, but in the end it's not a teachers job to raise a kid. I also kind of take offense at the notion that it's a teacher/coaches job to make sure a student/player behaves....wtf? Where is a parent's responsibility here? If I get wind of my kids acting up in class, you better believe that there will be punishment at home. Now - it may not be spanking as that is reserved for serious business, but you better believe it isn't off the table.

Take offense? That statement doesn't even make sense. If a child acts up in class is the teacher supposed to simply ignore it and send an email to a parent at the end of the day? Like it or not teachers discipline children every day in this country. If one of the kids on the team won't stop talking all practice and refuses to do drills properly, is the coach supposed to let the kid be a distraction all practice and then call the parents afterward? Seriously? I don't spank so perhaps I am misunderstanding what people are using it for. The posts I have read in here lead me to believe parents use it when their children misbehave. So if it is a good deterrent for that, and there is no damage, why would people be against teachers doing it but in favor doing it themselves?

I'm not saying teachers/coaches have no role in discipline, but discipline starts and ends at home. Period. There are plenty of folks out there that gave up on disciplining their kids in lieu of the schools - that's what really annoys me. They use their teachers as the first line of discipline, and they take a back seat to them.I do want teachers to discipline my kids. I want them to do what ever they need to do to maintain an orderly classroom. But, if my kids do something serious (I would include back-talking and blatant disrespect), then yes, I want a note home from the teacher so we can deal with that. When I was a kid, we used to have notes sent home with us that parents had to sign and return...this isn't a new concept.

Spanking, however, is a fathers job. That's the line.

 

[Christo]

Certainly not meant to feel good...

Tell me how you'd punish a child..

Situation #1) Lets say 7 years old, playing with matches in his bedroom?

Situation #2)Doesn't seem to be responding well to being sent to his room. Decides to start kicking holes in the walls and breaking things. You go in to talk to him and he ignores you, won't even acknowledge you're in the room.. You say your piece and leave again and he breaks something else.. Maybe throws something through the window.. There are children like this..

Bleh, typed up a longer response, forum ate it.But it's completely impossible to predict how I would interact with a fictional child I've never had interaction with. Maybe that's the whole problem here. You do realize not every child should be punished the exact same way, right? They aren't all the same.

He's 7 year old, I would hope in situation 1 I would have some clues as to what types of punishments get through to them and we'd find a suitable punishment.

As for option #2, I really have no idea. Sounds like I've done some really bad parenting previous to this though, so I hope I'm a big enough man to seek some sort of professional help for the situation. I'd definitely get us involved with a counselor, talk to his teachers/coaches, and see if I can figure out why he's acting out to such a ridiculous extent. Then we'd move forward from there.

But every child is different and responds differently to different parenting tactics. I have no interest in simply beating them into submission.

It's interesting you would say this given your stance on the issue.

I don't consider whipping children to be a parenting tactic.

That's exactly what I mean.

 

[Witz]

Certainly not meant to feel good...

Tell me how you'd punish a child..

Situation #1) Lets say 7 years old, playing with matches in his bedroom?

Situation #2)Doesn't seem to be responding well to being sent to his room. Decides to start kicking holes in the walls and breaking things. You go in to talk to him and he ignores you, won't even acknowledge you're in the room.. You say your piece and leave again and he breaks something else.. Maybe throws something through the window.. There are children like this..

Bleh, typed up a longer response, forum ate it.But it's completely impossible to predict how I would interact with a fictional child I've never had interaction with. Maybe that's the whole problem here. You do realize not every child should be punished the exact same way, right? They aren't all the same.

He's 7 year old, I would hope in situation 1 I would have some clues as to what types of punishments get through to them and we'd find a suitable punishment.

As for option #2, I really have no idea. Sounds like I've done some really bad parenting previous to this though, so I hope I'm a big enough man to seek some sort of professional help for the situation. I'd definitely get us involved with a counselor, talk to his teachers/coaches, and see if I can figure out why he's acting out to such a ridiculous extent. Then we'd move forward from there.

But every child is different and responds differently to different parenting tactics. I have no interest in simply beating them into submission.

It's interesting you would say this given your stance on the issue.

I don't consider whipping children to be a parenting tactic.

Sorry but

Spanking <> Whipping

 

[ZBTHorton]

Certainly not meant to feel good...

Tell me how you'd punish a child..

Situation #1) Lets say 7 years old, playing with matches in his bedroom?

Situation #2)Doesn't seem to be responding well to being sent to his room. Decides to start kicking holes in the walls and breaking things. You go in to talk to him and he ignores you, won't even acknowledge you're in the room.. You say your piece and leave again and he breaks something else.. Maybe throws something through the window.. There are children like this..

Bleh, typed up a longer response, forum ate it.But it's completely impossible to predict how I would interact with a fictional child I've never had interaction with. Maybe that's the whole problem here. You do realize not every child should be punished the exact same way, right? They aren't all the same.

He's 7 year old, I would hope in situation 1 I would have some clues as to what types of punishments get through to them and we'd find a suitable punishment.

As for option #2, I really have no idea. Sounds like I've done some really bad parenting previous to this though, so I hope I'm a big enough man to seek some sort of professional help for the situation. I'd definitely get us involved with a counselor, talk to his teachers/coaches, and see if I can figure out why he's acting out to such a ridiculous extent. Then we'd move forward from there.

But every child is different and responds differently to different parenting tactics. I have no interest in simply beating them into submission.

It's interesting you would say this given your stance on the issue.

I don't consider whipping children to be a parenting tactic.

Sorry but

Spanking <> Whipping

If you use a belt, I consider it whipping. There is no better word I can think of that describes swinging a belt at my kid.If you use your hand, it's a spanking. The definition of spanking on Wikipedia even includes " It generally involves one person striking the buttocks of another person with an open hand"

 

[Carolina Hustler]

Why do people think this behavior against their own children is so acceptable, but would never in a million years do it to another person? Sounds like a bully to me. I think maybe I am going to implement a policy that when people at work are late, they are going to get the belt across the butt. I will leave the pants on so it will just hurt, but cause no damage.

do you really think that kids are essentially equivalent to their parents in stature?

When it comes to judging whether or not it is ok to whip them, yes.When it comes to who gets to make the rules of the house, no.Thinking it is ok to hit your own child, but not ok to hit a stranger seems completely whacko to me.

What do you hope to achieve when hitting a stranger? Beyond self defense situations..

I don't hope to achieve anything because I don't do it.In fictitious Carolina Hustler world what if I was hoping to get them to learn not to throw trash in my yard? If a young kid threw his candy wrapper in my yard every day and one day I waited for him and caught him doing it and whipped him with a belt on his butt, don't you think that would teach him a lesson? Don't you think he would stop throwing trash? Isn't that your desired end result?

If it's my child, thats my decision. If it's not my child.. Let his parent decide..But for throwing trash in someones yard, a simple lecture would be my first step. He'd have to then apologize, and rectify the situation by picking up the trash. If it happened again. A similar punishment unless it was blatant disregard for the first incident.. Then the punishment would become more serious. But I find it hard to equate something as 'egregious' (<sarcasm)as throwing down a candy wrapper with punishment warranting a spanking.. If it had reached epidemic proportions, maybe some community service would be in order.. Clean and mow the guys lawn for a couple weeks..

 

[Witz]

Certainly not meant to feel good...

Tell me how you'd punish a child..

Situation #1) Lets say 7 years old, playing with matches in his bedroom?

Situation #2)Doesn't seem to be responding well to being sent to his room. Decides to start kicking holes in the walls and breaking things. You go in to talk to him and he ignores you, won't even acknowledge you're in the room.. You say your piece and leave again and he breaks something else.. Maybe throws something through the window.. There are children like this..

Bleh, typed up a longer response, forum ate it.But it's completely impossible to predict how I would interact with a fictional child I've never had interaction with. Maybe that's the whole problem here. You do realize not every child should be punished the exact same way, right? They aren't all the same.

He's 7 year old, I would hope in situation 1 I would have some clues as to what types of punishments get through to them and we'd find a suitable punishment.

As for option #2, I really have no idea. Sounds like I've done some really bad parenting previous to this though, so I hope I'm a big enough man to seek some sort of professional help for the situation. I'd definitely get us involved with a counselor, talk to his teachers/coaches, and see if I can figure out why he's acting out to such a ridiculous extent. Then we'd move forward from there.

But every child is different and responds differently to different parenting tactics. I have no interest in simply beating them into submission.

It's interesting you would say this given your stance on the issue.

I don't consider whipping children to be a parenting tactic.

Sorry but

Spanking <> Whipping

If you use a belt, I consider it whipping. There is no better word I can think of that describes swinging a belt at my kid.If you use your hand, it's a spanking. The definition of spanking on Wikipedia even includes " It generally involves one person striking the buttocks of another person with an open hand"

I know the difference but wasn't sure you did - following this particular posting chain up above - the discussion and your comments referred to spanking yet you concluded with your comment about whipping.

 

[Carolina Hustler]

Certainly not meant to feel good...Tell me how you'd punish a child.. Situation #1) Lets say 7 years old, playing with matches in his bedroom?Situation #2)Doesn't seem to be responding well to being sent to his room. Decides to start kicking holes in the walls and breaking things. You go in to talk to him and he ignores you, won't even acknowledge you're in the room.. You say your piece and leave again and he breaks something else.. Maybe throws something through the window.. There are children like this..

Bleh, typed up a longer response, forum ate it.But it's completely impossible to predict how I would interact with a fictional child I've never had interaction with. Maybe that's the whole problem here. You do realize not every child should be punished the exact same way, right? They aren't all the same. He's 7 year old, I would hope in situation 1 I would have some clues as to what types of punishments get through to them and we'd find a suitable punishment.As for option #2, I really have no idea. Sounds like I've done some really bad parenting previous to this though, so I hope I'm a big enough man to seek some sort of professional help for the situation. I'd definitely get us involved with a counselor, talk to his teachers/coaches, and see if I can figure out why he's acting out to such a ridiculous extent. Then we'd move forward from there.But every child is different and responds differently to different parenting tactics. I have no interest in simply beating them into submission.

I think you assume spanking is what most picture as child abuse.. It doesn't have to be.. The proper way to spank a child it typically to leave just enough impression that child's mind that the outcome for whatever the particular issue is, is not favorable..Like you said, every situation and child is different. Spankings shouldn't be the first or primary method of punishment. But when the discretion is serious, or when nothing else is getting through, the spanking is certainly an optional next step..Do you have children?

One.Sorry, I just disagree with what you typed above. You can justify it to me any way you want, but I could never justify whipping my children to myself.

That's fine, doesn't mean someone who does is abusive..BTW, physical abuse isn't the only type of abuse.. Children can be abused without ever being touched..

 

[ZBTHorton]

Certainly not meant to feel good...

Tell me how you'd punish a child..

Situation #1) Lets say 7 years old, playing with matches in his bedroom?

Situation #2)Doesn't seem to be responding well to being sent to his room. Decides to start kicking holes in the walls and breaking things. You go in to talk to him and he ignores you, won't even acknowledge you're in the room.. You say your piece and leave again and he breaks something else.. Maybe throws something through the window.. There are children like this..

Bleh, typed up a longer response, forum ate it.But it's completely impossible to predict how I would interact with a fictional child I've never had interaction with. Maybe that's the whole problem here. You do realize not every child should be punished the exact same way, right? They aren't all the same.

He's 7 year old, I would hope in situation 1 I would have some clues as to what types of punishments get through to them and we'd find a suitable punishment.

As for option #2, I really have no idea. Sounds like I've done some really bad parenting previous to this though, so I hope I'm a big enough man to seek some sort of professional help for the situation. I'd definitely get us involved with a counselor, talk to his teachers/coaches, and see if I can figure out why he's acting out to such a ridiculous extent. Then we'd move forward from there.

But every child is different and responds differently to different parenting tactics. I have no interest in simply beating them into submission.

It's interesting you would say this given your stance on the issue.

I don't consider whipping children to be a parenting tactic.

Sorry but

Spanking <> Whipping

If you use a belt, I consider it whipping. There is no better word I can think of that describes swinging a belt at my kid.If you use your hand, it's a spanking. The definition of spanking on Wikipedia even includes " It generally involves one person striking the buttocks of another person with an open hand"

I know the difference but wasn't sure you did - following this particular posting chain up above - the discussion and your comments referred to spanking yet you concluded with your comment about whipping.

Hard to keep up. Some people are only talking about using your hand, some talking about only using the belt(Carolina). So I'm kind of just using both terms to keep both sides happy and out of nittery(although that's failing sometimes).

 

[ZBTHorton]

Certainly not meant to feel good...Tell me how you'd punish a child.. Situation #1) Lets say 7 years old, playing with matches in his bedroom?Situation #2)Doesn't seem to be responding well to being sent to his room. Decides to start kicking holes in the walls and breaking things. You go in to talk to him and he ignores you, won't even acknowledge you're in the room.. You say your piece and leave again and he breaks something else.. Maybe throws something through the window.. There are children like this..

Bleh, typed up a longer response, forum ate it.But it's completely impossible to predict how I would interact with a fictional child I've never had interaction with. Maybe that's the whole problem here. You do realize not every child should be punished the exact same way, right? They aren't all the same. He's 7 year old, I would hope in situation 1 I would have some clues as to what types of punishments get through to them and we'd find a suitable punishment.As for option #2, I really have no idea. Sounds like I've done some really bad parenting previous to this though, so I hope I'm a big enough man to seek some sort of professional help for the situation. I'd definitely get us involved with a counselor, talk to his teachers/coaches, and see if I can figure out why he's acting out to such a ridiculous extent. Then we'd move forward from there.But every child is different and responds differently to different parenting tactics. I have no interest in simply beating them into submission.

I think you assume spanking is what most picture as child abuse.. It doesn't have to be.. The proper way to spank a child it typically to leave just enough impression that child's mind that the outcome for whatever the particular issue is, is not favorable..Like you said, every situation and child is different. Spankings shouldn't be the first or primary method of punishment. But when the discretion is serious, or when nothing else is getting through, the spanking is certainly an optional next step..Do you have children?

One.Sorry, I just disagree with what you typed above. You can justify it to me any way you want, but I could never justify whipping my children to myself.

That's fine, doesn't mean someone who does is abusive..BTW, physical abuse isn't the only type of abuse.. Children can be abused without ever being touched..

Of course they can. And I will strive everyday to not abuse my children in any manner, including the one I think is more abusive than you do.

 

[Carolina Hustler]

Certainly not meant to feel good...

Tell me how you'd punish a child..

Situation #1) Lets say 7 years old, playing with matches in his bedroom?

Situation #2)Doesn't seem to be responding well to being sent to his room. Decides to start kicking holes in the walls and breaking things. You go in to talk to him and he ignores you, won't even acknowledge you're in the room.. You say your piece and leave again and he breaks something else.. Maybe throws something through the window.. There are children like this..

Bleh, typed up a longer response, forum ate it.But it's completely impossible to predict how I would interact with a fictional child I've never had interaction with. Maybe that's the whole problem here. You do realize not every child should be punished the exact same way, right? They aren't all the same.

He's 7 year old, I would hope in situation 1 I would have some clues as to what types of punishments get through to them and we'd find a suitable punishment.

As for option #2, I really have no idea. Sounds like I've done some really bad parenting previous to this though, so I hope I'm a big enough man to seek some sort of professional help for the situation. I'd definitely get us involved with a counselor, talk to his teachers/coaches, and see if I can figure out why he's acting out to such a ridiculous extent. Then we'd move forward from there.

But every child is different and responds differently to different parenting tactics. I have no interest in simply beating them into submission.

It's interesting you would say this given your stance on the issue.

I don't consider whipping children to be a parenting tactic.

Sorry but

Spanking <> Whipping

If you use a belt, I consider it whipping. There is no better word I can think of that describes swinging a belt at my kid.If you use your hand, it's a spanking. The definition of spanking on Wikipedia even includes " It generally involves one person striking the buttocks of another person with an open hand"

Whipping is what you'd do with a whip in literal terms right? or has that changed?

 

[Witz]

Certainly not meant to feel good...

Tell me how you'd punish a child..

Situation #1) Lets say 7 years old, playing with matches in his bedroom?

Situation #2)Doesn't seem to be responding well to being sent to his room. Decides to start kicking holes in the walls and breaking things. You go in to talk to him and he ignores you, won't even acknowledge you're in the room.. You say your piece and leave again and he breaks something else.. Maybe throws something through the window.. There are children like this..

Bleh, typed up a longer response, forum ate it.But it's completely impossible to predict how I would interact with a fictional child I've never had interaction with. Maybe that's the whole problem here. You do realize not every child should be punished the exact same way, right? They aren't all the same.

He's 7 year old, I would hope in situation 1 I would have some clues as to what types of punishments get through to them and we'd find a suitable punishment.

As for option #2, I really have no idea. Sounds like I've done some really bad parenting previous to this though, so I hope I'm a big enough man to seek some sort of professional help for the situation. I'd definitely get us involved with a counselor, talk to his teachers/coaches, and see if I can figure out why he's acting out to such a ridiculous extent. Then we'd move forward from there.

But every child is different and responds differently to different parenting tactics. I have no interest in simply beating them into submission.

It's interesting you would say this given your stance on the issue.

I don't consider whipping children to be a parenting tactic.

Sorry but

Spanking <> Whipping

If you use a belt, I consider it whipping. There is no better word I can think of that describes swinging a belt at my kid.If you use your hand, it's a spanking. The definition of spanking on Wikipedia even includes " It generally involves one person striking the buttocks of another person with an open hand"

I know the difference but wasn't sure you did - following this particular posting chain up above - the discussion and your comments referred to spanking yet you concluded with your comment about whipping.

Hard to keep up. Some people are only talking about using your hand, some talking about only using the belt(Carolina). So I'm kind of just using both terms to keep both sides happy and out of nittery(although that's failing sometimes).

I agree - it does seem to be going back and forth with folks which honestly probably adds to the confusion (and the continued heated discussions in this thread).

 

[ZBTHorton]

Certainly not meant to feel good...

Tell me how you'd punish a child..

Situation #1) Lets say 7 years old, playing with matches in his bedroom?

Situation #2)Doesn't seem to be responding well to being sent to his room. Decides to start kicking holes in the walls and breaking things. You go in to talk to him and he ignores you, won't even acknowledge you're in the room.. You say your piece and leave again and he breaks something else.. Maybe throws something through the window.. There are children like this..

Bleh, typed up a longer response, forum ate it.But it's completely impossible to predict how I would interact with a fictional child I've never had interaction with. Maybe that's the whole problem here. You do realize not every child should be punished the exact same way, right? They aren't all the same.

He's 7 year old, I would hope in situation 1 I would have some clues as to what types of punishments get through to them and we'd find a suitable punishment.

As for option #2, I really have no idea. Sounds like I've done some really bad parenting previous to this though, so I hope I'm a big enough man to seek some sort of professional help for the situation. I'd definitely get us involved with a counselor, talk to his teachers/coaches, and see if I can figure out why he's acting out to such a ridiculous extent. Then we'd move forward from there.

But every child is different and responds differently to different parenting tactics. I have no interest in simply beating them into submission.

It's interesting you would say this given your stance on the issue.

I don't consider whipping children to be a parenting tactic.

Sorry but

Spanking <> Whipping

If you use a belt, I consider it whipping. There is no better word I can think of that describes swinging a belt at my kid.If you use your hand, it's a spanking. The definition of spanking on Wikipedia even includes " It generally involves one person striking the buttocks of another person with an open hand"

Whipping is what your'd do with a whip in literal terms right? or has that changed?

I'm more calling it that because of the motion you make when you use it. Guess I could say "swinging" a belt? I dunno. Doesn't seem all that relevant really.

 

[Carolina Hustler]

Certainly not meant to feel good...

Tell me how you'd punish a child..

Situation #1) Lets say 7 years old, playing with matches in his bedroom?

Situation #2)Doesn't seem to be responding well to being sent to his room. Decides to start kicking holes in the walls and breaking things. You go in to talk to him and he ignores you, won't even acknowledge you're in the room.. You say your piece and leave again and he breaks something else.. Maybe throws something through the window.. There are children like this..

Bleh, typed up a longer response, forum ate it.But it's completely impossible to predict how I would interact with a fictional child I've never had interaction with. Maybe that's the whole problem here. You do realize not every child should be punished the exact same way, right? They aren't all the same.

He's 7 year old, I would hope in situation 1 I would have some clues as to what types of punishments get through to them and we'd find a suitable punishment.

As for option #2, I really have no idea. Sounds like I've done some really bad parenting previous to this though, so I hope I'm a big enough man to seek some sort of professional help for the situation. I'd definitely get us involved with a counselor, talk to his teachers/coaches, and see if I can figure out why he's acting out to such a ridiculous extent. Then we'd move forward from there.

But every child is different and responds differently to different parenting tactics. I have no interest in simply beating them into submission.

I think you assume spanking is what most picture as child abuse.. It doesn't have to be.. The proper way to spank a child it typically to leave just enough impression that child's mind that the outcome for whatever the particular issue is, is not favorable..Like you said, every situation and child is different. Spankings shouldn't be the first or primary method of punishment. But when the discretion is serious, or when nothing else is getting through, the spanking is certainly an optional next step..

Do you have children?

One.Sorry, I just disagree with what you typed above. You can justify it to me any way you want, but I could never justify whipping my children to myself.

That's fine, doesn't mean someone who does is abusive..BTW, physical abuse isn't the only type of abuse.. Children can be abused without ever being touched..

Of course they can. And I will strive everyday to not abuse my children in any manner, including the one I think is more abusive than you do.

In my opinion. Verbally assaulting a child, or neglect is just as bad as physical abuse..Are you intent on saying all spankings equal physical abuse?

 

[Carolina Hustler]

Certainly not meant to feel good...

Tell me how you'd punish a child..

Situation #1) Lets say 7 years old, playing with matches in his bedroom?

Situation #2)Doesn't seem to be responding well to being sent to his room. Decides to start kicking holes in the walls and breaking things. You go in to talk to him and he ignores you, won't even acknowledge you're in the room.. You say your piece and leave again and he breaks something else.. Maybe throws something through the window.. There are children like this..

Bleh, typed up a longer response, forum ate it.But it's completely impossible to predict how I would interact with a fictional child I've never had interaction with. Maybe that's the whole problem here. You do realize not every child should be punished the exact same way, right? They aren't all the same.

He's 7 year old, I would hope in situation 1 I would have some clues as to what types of punishments get through to them and we'd find a suitable punishment.

As for option #2, I really have no idea. Sounds like I've done some really bad parenting previous to this though, so I hope I'm a big enough man to seek some sort of professional help for the situation. I'd definitely get us involved with a counselor, talk to his teachers/coaches, and see if I can figure out why he's acting out to such a ridiculous extent. Then we'd move forward from there.

But every child is different and responds differently to different parenting tactics. I have no interest in simply beating them into submission.

It's interesting you would say this given your stance on the issue.

I don't consider whipping children to be a parenting tactic.

Sorry but

Spanking <> Whipping

If you use a belt, I consider it whipping. There is no better word I can think of that describes swinging a belt at my kid.If you use your hand, it's a spanking. The definition of spanking on Wikipedia even includes " It generally involves one person striking the buttocks of another person with an open hand"

Whipping is what your'd do with a whip in literal terms right? or has that changed?

I'm more calling it that because of the motion you make when you use it. Guess I could say "swinging" a belt? I dunno. Doesn't seem all that relevant really.

"Whipping" seems a bit exaggerated to me..

 

[ZBTHorton]

Certainly not meant to feel good...

Tell me how you'd punish a child..

Situation #1) Lets say 7 years old, playing with matches in his bedroom?

Situation #2)Doesn't seem to be responding well to being sent to his room. Decides to start kicking holes in the walls and breaking things. You go in to talk to him and he ignores you, won't even acknowledge you're in the room.. You say your piece and leave again and he breaks something else.. Maybe throws something through the window.. There are children like this..

Bleh, typed up a longer response, forum ate it.But it's completely impossible to predict how I would interact with a fictional child I've never had interaction with. Maybe that's the whole problem here. You do realize not every child should be punished the exact same way, right? They aren't all the same.

He's 7 year old, I would hope in situation 1 I would have some clues as to what types of punishments get through to them and we'd find a suitable punishment.

As for option #2, I really have no idea. Sounds like I've done some really bad parenting previous to this though, so I hope I'm a big enough man to seek some sort of professional help for the situation. I'd definitely get us involved with a counselor, talk to his teachers/coaches, and see if I can figure out why he's acting out to such a ridiculous extent. Then we'd move forward from there.

But every child is different and responds differently to different parenting tactics. I have no interest in simply beating them into submission.

I think you assume spanking is what most picture as child abuse.. It doesn't have to be.. The proper way to spank a child it typically to leave just enough impression that child's mind that the outcome for whatever the particular issue is, is not favorable..Like you said, every situation and child is different. Spankings shouldn't be the first or primary method of punishment. But when the discretion is serious, or when nothing else is getting through, the spanking is certainly an optional next step..

Do you have children?

One.Sorry, I just disagree with what you typed above. You can justify it to me any way you want, but I could never justify whipping my children to myself.

That's fine, doesn't mean someone who does is abusive..BTW, physical abuse isn't the only type of abuse.. Children can be abused without ever being touched..

Of course they can. And I will strive everyday to not abuse my children in any manner, including the one I think is more abusive than you do.

In my opinion. Verbally assaulting a child, or neglect is just as bad as physical abuse..Are you intent on saying all spankings equal physical abuse?

Honestly, when this thread began I would have answered that I was very cognizant of some positive effects that the fear of a spanking could have, and was also aware that the simple submission involved with bending someone over your knee and smacking them could have. I guess in my head I pictured a spanking that really wasn't a spanking at all(didn't hurt) where the only real effect was emotional. They knew they did wrong, and you could kind of show who was in charge, nobody got hurt, life goes on. I suppose I don't have a big problem with this, although I'm not sure it would work, heh. Another obvious example would be the person who talked about smacking his sons hand because he was reaching for a hot stove, obviously this is a time where a physical punishment had to be done in order to prevent immediate injury. As the thread has gone on, I've been more and more disgusted by the casual way many posters have talked about spankings, and the use of the belt in particular. If you as a parent can honestly say that you have done absolutely everything you can for your child before you resorted to hurting them, I suppose I can't really look down upon you too much, but many ITT seemed to just think that they have this God given right to hurt their children if they do things wrong, and I just don't agree with that concept in so many words. I can't even imagine the lengths I would go to as a parent before I resorted to that kind of punishment. You spoke earlier of that kid who went ballistic in his room and destroyed it. And look, maybe I'm incredibly naive, and I'm sure someone will tell me I am. But I just haven't run into many kids with attitudes like that who have parents who are good parents. Some kids are better than others, and it's not ALWAYS about bad parenting, but when you have a kid just simply destroying things, it usually can be traced back to some sort of other issue. Using physical punishments to deal with that "other issue" just doesn't make any sense to me.

I don't really think that you are abusing your child just because you give them spankings. However, I do feel that you are definitely riding the line of abuse, and that isn't a line I feel comfortable riding. I just feel like it is absurdly easy for something very minor to go wrong and for you to cross the line into actual abuse, and I would never forgive myself if that happened. What if you swing harder than intended? What if you hit some spot on them that bruises easily? All of these scenarios aren't likely, and I realize how ridiculous it is to worry about them, but if I accidentally hurt my child while trying to spank them, I would never forgive myself, because that is not what I should be doing as a parent.

 

[ZBTHorton]

Certainly not meant to feel good...

Tell me how you'd punish a child..

Situation #1) Lets say 7 years old, playing with matches in his bedroom?

Situation #2)Doesn't seem to be responding well to being sent to his room. Decides to start kicking holes in the walls and breaking things. You go in to talk to him and he ignores you, won't even acknowledge you're in the room.. You say your piece and leave again and he breaks something else.. Maybe throws something through the window.. There are children like this..

Bleh, typed up a longer response, forum ate it.But it's completely impossible to predict how I would interact with a fictional child I've never had interaction with. Maybe that's the whole problem here. You do realize not every child should be punished the exact same way, right? They aren't all the same.

He's 7 year old, I would hope in situation 1 I would have some clues as to what types of punishments get through to them and we'd find a suitable punishment.

As for option #2, I really have no idea. Sounds like I've done some really bad parenting previous to this though, so I hope I'm a big enough man to seek some sort of professional help for the situation. I'd definitely get us involved with a counselor, talk to his teachers/coaches, and see if I can figure out why he's acting out to such a ridiculous extent. Then we'd move forward from there.

But every child is different and responds differently to different parenting tactics. I have no interest in simply beating them into submission.

It's interesting you would say this given your stance on the issue.

I don't consider whipping children to be a parenting tactic.

Sorry but

Spanking <> Whipping

If you use a belt, I consider it whipping. There is no better word I can think of that describes swinging a belt at my kid.If you use your hand, it's a spanking. The definition of spanking on Wikipedia even includes " It generally involves one person striking the buttocks of another person with an open hand"

Whipping is what your'd do with a whip in literal terms right? or has that changed?

I'm more calling it that because of the motion you make when you use it. Guess I could say "swinging" a belt? I dunno. Doesn't seem all that relevant really.

"Whipping" seems a bit exaggerated to me..

Fair enough. Striking?

 

[Carolina Hustler]

Certainly not meant to feel good...

Tell me how you'd punish a child..

Situation #1) Lets say 7 years old, playing with matches in his bedroom?

Situation #2)Doesn't seem to be responding well to being sent to his room. Decides to start kicking holes in the walls and breaking things. You go in to talk to him and he ignores you, won't even acknowledge you're in the room.. You say your piece and leave again and he breaks something else.. Maybe throws something through the window.. There are children like this..

Bleh, typed up a longer response, forum ate it.But it's completely impossible to predict how I would interact with a fictional child I've never had interaction with. Maybe that's the whole problem here. You do realize not every child should be punished the exact same way, right? They aren't all the same.

He's 7 year old, I would hope in situation 1 I would have some clues as to what types of punishments get through to them and we'd find a suitable punishment.

As for option #2, I really have no idea. Sounds like I've done some really bad parenting previous to this though, so I hope I'm a big enough man to seek some sort of professional help for the situation. I'd definitely get us involved with a counselor, talk to his teachers/coaches, and see if I can figure out why he's acting out to such a ridiculous extent. Then we'd move forward from there.

But every child is different and responds differently to different parenting tactics. I have no interest in simply beating them into submission.

I think you assume spanking is what most picture as child abuse.. It doesn't have to be.. The proper way to spank a child it typically to leave just enough impression that child's mind that the outcome for whatever the particular issue is, is not favorable..Like you said, every situation and child is different. Spankings shouldn't be the first or primary method of punishment. But when the discretion is serious, or when nothing else is getting through, the spanking is certainly an optional next step..

Do you have children?

One.Sorry, I just disagree with what you typed above. You can justify it to me any way you want, but I could never justify whipping my children to myself.

That's fine, doesn't mean someone who does is abusive..BTW, physical abuse isn't the only type of abuse.. Children can be abused without ever being touched..

Of course they can. And I will strive everyday to not abuse my children in any manner, including the one I think is more abusive than you do.

In my opinion. Verbally assaulting a child, or neglect is just as bad as physical abuse..Are you intent on saying all spankings equal physical abuse?

Honestly, when this thread began I would have answered that I was very cognizant of some positive effects that the fear of a spanking could have, and was also aware that the simple submission involved with bending someone over your knee and smacking them could have. I guess in my head I pictured a spanking that really wasn't a spanking at all(didn't hurt) where the only real effect was emotional. They knew they did wrong, and you could kind of show who was in charge, nobody got hurt, life goes on. I suppose I don't have a big problem with this, although I'm not sure it would work, heh. Another obvious example would be the person who talked about smacking his sons hand because he was reaching for a hot stove, obviously this is a time where a physical punishment had to be done in order to prevent immediate injury. As the thread has gone on, I've been more and more disgusted by the casual way many posters have talked about spankings, and the use of the belt in particular. If you as a parent can honestly say that you have done absolutely everything you can for your child before you resorted to hurting them, I suppose I can't really look down upon you too much, but many ITT seemed to just think that they have this God given right to hurt their children if they do things wrong, and I just don't agree with that concept in so many words. I can't even imagine the lengths I would go to as a parent before I resorted to that kind of punishment. You spoke earlier of that kid who went ballistic in his room and destroyed it. And look, maybe I'm incredibly naive, and I'm sure someone will tell me I am. But I just haven't run into many kids with attitudes like that who have parents who are good parents. Some kids are better than others, and it's not ALWAYS about bad parenting, but when you have a kid just simply destroying things, it usually can be traced back to some sort of other issue. Using physical punishments to deal with that "other issue" just doesn't make any sense to me.

I don't really think that you are abusing your child just because you give them spankings. However, I do feel that you are definitely riding the line of abuse, and that isn't a line I feel comfortable riding. I just feel like it is absurdly easy for something very minor to go wrong and for you to cross the line into actual abuse, and I would never forgive myself if that happened. What if you swing harder than intended? What if you hit some spot on them that bruises easily? All of these scenarios aren't likely, and I realize how ridiculous it is to worry about them, but if I accidentally hurt my child while trying to spank them, I would never forgive myself, because that is not what I should be doing as a parent.

I respect your opinion. And this^ is a much better approach then what you were giving me earlier..Maybe things are different for me because I received spankings growing up. I turned out just fine.. maybe ... I know there are situations where phisical punishment crosses the line. But then again, there are situations when other forms of punishment cross the line as well.. It seemed as though you were accusing parents that did spank their children of child abuse and I found that to be offensive. I love my children very much. All 3 of them have been spanked at one point or another. Certainly not the primary means of punishment, but they all know/knew this wasn't a punishment beyond the realm of possibilities.

Honestly, my 2 oldest rarely needed it. My youngest is pretty full of himself and has never been diagnosed with ADD but I suspect he's a mild case at the very least. So he has receive spankings. He has been punished in other ways as well. I punish him because I love him. His behavior could get him in a lot of trouble if not corrected.

Punishing children is supposed to be out of love. I do understand that there are parents that punish out of anger and frustration. Also parents that take punishment to another level.. Still yet there are parents that are abusive. To suggest every parent that spanks their child is abusive, is offensive.

 

[ZBTHorton]

Certainly not meant to feel good...

Tell me how you'd punish a child..

Situation #1) Lets say 7 years old, playing with matches in his bedroom?

Situation #2)Doesn't seem to be responding well to being sent to his room. Decides to start kicking holes in the walls and breaking things. You go in to talk to him and he ignores you, won't even acknowledge you're in the room.. You say your piece and leave again and he breaks something else.. Maybe throws something through the window.. There are children like this..

Bleh, typed up a longer response, forum ate it.But it's completely impossible to predict how I would interact with a fictional child I've never had interaction with. Maybe that's the whole problem here. You do realize not every child should be punished the exact same way, right? They aren't all the same.

He's 7 year old, I would hope in situation 1 I would have some clues as to what types of punishments get through to them and we'd find a suitable punishment.

As for option #2, I really have no idea. Sounds like I've done some really bad parenting previous to this though, so I hope I'm a big enough man to seek some sort of professional help for the situation. I'd definitely get us involved with a counselor, talk to his teachers/coaches, and see if I can figure out why he's acting out to such a ridiculous extent. Then we'd move forward from there.

But every child is different and responds differently to different parenting tactics. I have no interest in simply beating them into submission.

I think you assume spanking is what most picture as child abuse.. It doesn't have to be.. The proper way to spank a child it typically to leave just enough impression that child's mind that the outcome for whatever the particular issue is, is not favorable..Like you said, every situation and child is different. Spankings shouldn't be the first or primary method of punishment. But when the discretion is serious, or when nothing else is getting through, the spanking is certainly an optional next step..

Do you have children?

One.Sorry, I just disagree with what you typed above. You can justify it to me any way you want, but I could never justify whipping my children to myself.

That's fine, doesn't mean someone who does is abusive..BTW, physical abuse isn't the only type of abuse.. Children can be abused without ever being touched..

Of course they can. And I will strive everyday to not abuse my children in any manner, including the one I think is more abusive than you do.

In my opinion. Verbally assaulting a child, or neglect is just as bad as physical abuse..Are you intent on saying all spankings equal physical abuse?

Honestly, when this thread began I would have answered that I was very cognizant of some positive effects that the fear of a spanking could have, and was also aware that the simple submission involved with bending someone over your knee and smacking them could have. I guess in my head I pictured a spanking that really wasn't a spanking at all(didn't hurt) where the only real effect was emotional. They knew they did wrong, and you could kind of show who was in charge, nobody got hurt, life goes on. I suppose I don't have a big problem with this, although I'm not sure it would work, heh. Another obvious example would be the person who talked about smacking his sons hand because he was reaching for a hot stove, obviously this is a time where a physical punishment had to be done in order to prevent immediate injury. As the thread has gone on, I've been more and more disgusted by the casual way many posters have talked about spankings, and the use of the belt in particular. If you as a parent can honestly say that you have done absolutely everything you can for your child before you resorted to hurting them, I suppose I can't really look down upon you too much, but many ITT seemed to just think that they have this God given right to hurt their children if they do things wrong, and I just don't agree with that concept in so many words. I can't even imagine the lengths I would go to as a parent before I resorted to that kind of punishment. You spoke earlier of that kid who went ballistic in his room and destroyed it. And look, maybe I'm incredibly naive, and I'm sure someone will tell me I am. But I just haven't run into many kids with attitudes like that who have parents who are good parents. Some kids are better than others, and it's not ALWAYS about bad parenting, but when you have a kid just simply destroying things, it usually can be traced back to some sort of other issue. Using physical punishments to deal with that "other issue" just doesn't make any sense to me.

I don't really think that you are abusing your child just because you give them spankings. However, I do feel that you are definitely riding the line of abuse, and that isn't a line I feel comfortable riding. I just feel like it is absurdly easy for something very minor to go wrong and for you to cross the line into actual abuse, and I would never forgive myself if that happened. What if you swing harder than intended? What if you hit some spot on them that bruises easily? All of these scenarios aren't likely, and I realize how ridiculous it is to worry about them, but if I accidentally hurt my child while trying to spank them, I would never forgive myself, because that is not what I should be doing as a parent.

I respect your opinion. And this^ is a much better approach then what you were giving me earlier..Maybe things are different for me because I received spankings growing up. I turned out just fine.. maybe ... I know there are situations where phisical punishment crosses the line. But then again, there are situations when other forms of punishment cross the line as well.. It seemed as though you were accusing parents that did spank their children of child abuse and I found that to be offensive. I love my children very much. All 3 of them have been spanked at one point or another. Certainly not the primary means of punishment, but they all know/knew this wasn't a punishment beyond the realm of possibilities.

Honestly, my 2 oldest rarely needed it. My youngest is pretty full of himself and has never been diagnosed with ADD but I suspect he's a mild case at the very least. So he has receive spankings. He has been punished in other ways as well. I punish him because I love him. His behavior could get him in a lot of trouble if not corrected.

Punishing children is supposed to be out of love. I do understand that there are parents that punish out of anger and frustration. Also parents that take punishment to another level.. Still yet there are parents that are abusive. To suggest every parent that spanks their child is abusive, is offensive.

Yeah and I reacted that way because the initial vibe I got from you is different from the one you've shown in recent posts, so we've likely just wasted a lot of time. I do also want to add, as I go to sleep for the night. That another thing I worry about in regards to the 'general' concept of physical punishments is the very basic fact that I simply don't trust all parents to punish their children correctly, and in a way think that looking at physical punishments in a casual manner can lead to other abuse. While I was googling for the proper term for 'striking' with a belt I came across this quote.

"More than one-third of all parents who start out with relatively mild punishments end up crossing the line drawn by the state to define child abuse: hitting with an object, harsh and cruel hitting, and so on,” he writes. “Children, endowed with wonderful flexibility and ability to learn, typically adapt to punishment faster than parents can escalate it, which helps encourage a little hitting to lead to a lot of hitting.” (quote from the director of the parenting center at Yale. He could be a total quack, but I believe his quote to be true to some extent).

I'd love to think that everyone ITT is a wonderful parent who would never cross that line, but I definitely think toeing that line puts yourself in position for things to go wrong, or get out of hand, or for the need for tougher punishments(which go over the line) to be needed. I hope that I don't have to find out someday I guess.

 

[boots11234]

Someone should do a pole on politicial leanings based on for or against spanking. I'm guessing people on the left are against and people on the right are for.

 

[mr roboto]

Someone should do a pole on politicial leanings based on for or against spanking. I'm guessing people on the left are against and people on the right are for.

I don't know. Hillary looks up for it.

 

[Flying V]

Sorry but Spanking <> Whipping

The way my dad did it, it was definitely a whipping.But he had a short temper, too.Which I inherited.Which is why I almost never spank my kids, and never with anything other than my hand. One or two swats, just to get their attention.

 

[Apple Jack]

I think jumping off the kitchen table with a flying elbow, Jimmy Snuka-style, would send a much clearer message than a belt. I mean with a good solid elbow. Something to really knock some sense into the kid's head, y'know?

ETA: Or maybe instead of whipping the kid with a leather strap you could make the kid watch you beat the #### out of the dog while telling him that it's his fault.

 

[doowain]

Anyone ever heard the "I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it!"?

 

[Bigboy10182000]

Anyone ever heard the "I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it!"?

Or the "How about I give you something to cry about"

 

[doowain]

Anyone ever heard the "I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it!"?

Or the "How about I give you something to cry about"

 

[Pick]

I got hit with hand, with a belt, and everything else. I didn't think any differently depending on what was used. Getting beaten is getting beaten.And again I ask what's wrong with the parent being the symbol of discipline?

There is a time for that fear, and there is a time for that fear to be stowed..

No doubt. But for many kids that fear doesn't even exist.

You don't walk around carrying a belt in your hand.. Kinda hard to walk around without your hands..

My dad beat me with his hands and anything else at hand. He was the symbol for me, not the other stuff.