Kids...phones...social media...a caution to parents (1 Viewer)

[E-Z Glider]

SMH

The answer is wrong. So very wrong. IG and snapchat are not life. They are stinking morasses of festering rosy imitations of life and give people an unrealistic expectation of how their lives should be. It's a complete wasted time/life suck that produces nothing positive. There I said it. 

Do either of you have teenagers? If not, this is like the 35yo single guy who lives in his parents basement giving career advice.

I remember when my kids were young and I thought I knew everything. Then they get older and your realize that life is hard, and kids can be mean, and all you really want is for them to be healthy and happy.

Like it or not, IG and Snapchat are how kids interact nowadays.

 

[NeverEnough]

I'm also talking about kids.

There is minimal value in both video games and social media.  There are pluses and minuses to both.  Making either out to be horrible is wrong, as is making one out to be better than another is wrong.

Wrong because you say so? LOL. c'mon. It's fine that we disagree, but don't try to piss on my leg & tell me it's raining.

 

[NeverEnough]

Do either of you have teenagers? If not, this is like the 35yo single guy who lives in his parents basement giving career advice.

I remember when my kids were young and I thought I knew everything. Then they get older and your realize that life is hard, and kids can be mean, and all you really want is for them to be healthy and happy.

Like it or not, IG and Snapchat are how kids interact nowadays.

We all know the kids use them, but that does not mean they offer something worthwhile. Just because something is used or a thing or whatever does not mean it's good.

 

[Bull Dozier]

Wrong because you say so? LOL. c'mon. It's fine that we disagree, but don't try to piss on my leg & tell me it's raining.

You serious Clark?

This is a message board.  Everything said here should be implied to be an opinion (unless there is some scientific debate).  That's a weak critique of my point of view.

Nothing you have said in our exchange has been couched as "just your opinion" as you have spoken in absolute terms as well.

Yes, I say it is wrong.  Yes, you disagree.  Your opinion is just as valid as  mine and I am fine to agree to disagree here.  

 

[Nigel]

Bunch of know-it-alls in here.

No right answer, kids can be #######s with or without phones. It’s your job to make sure yours aren’t #######s. 

 

[Nigel]

And since we're posting letters sent home from school, I liked this one from the head of my son's school - honest and non-political, and basically says what I said in my previous post:

Dear Parents:

           In the aftermath of the unspeakable, horrifying school shooting in Parkland, Florida on Wednesday, several parents have reached out to the School to ask what XXX School does – and what any of us can do – to keep our children safe. As we head into this holiday weekend, I want to offer a few thoughts, a few ideas.

            Over the last several years – in truth, going back to the shootings at Columbine High School in Colorado almost twenty years ago – XXX and other schools have worked on crisis plans. Those plans have evolved over the years, as police and public safety experts have shifted their thinking. We have brought police leaders to the school to speak to the boys and to the faculty about what to do if there were a crisis, particularly an armed shooter. We have a better school-wide PA system; our alert messaging program allows us to text to parents almost immediately; we can now lock down all our buildings with the push of a single button. In the wake of this week’s tragedy, our Administrative Team will again review our plans and we will speak to faculty and students. We will continue to do our best to be prepared.

            At the same time, I have a responsibility to be honest with you. As you know, we are an open campus: no gates restrict people from coming onto our grounds, and we have over fifteen buildings. If someone were determined to do harm, we would do all we could to minimize the damage, but it would be impossible to stop it entirely.

            That may sound like a terrible admission, but it is not.   It is an acknowledgement that we live in a free and open society and, sadly, in an era where we face some risk whenever we are in public. Fortunately, that risk is miniscule, at least statistically. But it is real and it can lead to anxiety, especially if we are thinking about those most precious in our lives: our children.

            So what else can we do? Here is what I said this morning to the boys in assembly: The best way we can counter violence in schools is to treat each other well, with kindness and care and respect. The shooter in Parkland, like the shooters all the way back to Columbine, were loners, outcasts, often bullied, boys who were estranged and embittered. As a school we can counter that by making sure that every boy is supported, made part of the community, indeed known and loved. That is the job of the faculty, yet it is also the job of fellow students, indeed of every boy. That may not be all our society should do to counter this terrible epidemic of shootings, but it is something our school can do – and, I hope and believe, is doing now.

            Best wishes for a good, safe and restful holiday weekend.

                                                                        Respectfully,

                                                                        Dr. XXX

 

[the rover]

As a kid I rode my bike everywhere.  Baseball, soccer, tennis, track, friends' houses...  my parents never knew where I was unless I called them from a friend's house or a payphone.   I also did a lot of questionable stuff with all of that freedom.   I feel a lot better that my daughter has a phone where I can communicate with her at any time and she knows that when I call or text, she needs to answer or the next step will be tracking her phone and going to pick her up.   

I suppose some of you would still prefer the payphone route (hint:  there aren't payphones everywhere anymore).   Most houses don't even have a landline, so if my kid went to a friend's house after school I wouldn't be able to reach her unless she had a cell.   Don't expect the parents to be home, because both parents work.  We don't live in the 50's and this isn't Leave it to Beaver.  Times change. Our kids have likely already passed us by technologically.  Trying to hold them back and pretending they aren't going to engage in social media isn't a workable solution.   Use the tools that are available to you to stay connected to your kids. Monitor what they see, and who they add as friends.   Living in denial just isn't good parenting.   

But seriously, stay the #### off my lawn.

 

[Kraft...]

            So what else can we do? Here is what I said this morning to the boys in assembly: The best way we can counter violence in schools is to treat each other well, with kindness and care and respect. The shooter in Parkland, like the shooters all the way back to Columbine, were loners, outcasts, often bullied, boys who were estranged and embittered. As a school we can counter that by making sure that every boy is supported, made part of the community, indeed known and loved. That is the job of the faculty, yet it is also the job of fellow students, indeed of every boy. That may not be all our society should do to counter this terrible epidemic of shootings, but it is something our school can do – and, I hope and believe, is doing now.

This is very well said 

 

[TheFanatic]

Do either of you have teenagers? If not, this is like the 35yo single guy who lives in his parents basement giving career advice.

I remember when my kids were young and I thought I knew everything. Then they get older and your realize that life is hard, and kids can be mean, and all you really want is for them to be healthy and happy.

Like it or not, IG and Snapchat are how kids interact nowadays.

My oldest is 9, so no, I don't have teenagers. The problem is that those platforms are pretty addictive and give people a very unrealistic worldview. It's also full of anonymous bickering which we see here all the time in the politics subforum. Just because it's the way they communicate, doesn't make it right. And you're talking to a guy that makes more money on social media, Instagram in particular, than I do on my day job. 

 

[shadyridr]

My oldest is 9, so no, I don't have teenagers. The problem is that those platforms are pretty addictive and give people a very unrealistic worldview. It's also full of anonymous bickering which we see here all the time in the politics subforum. Just because it's the way they communicate, doesn't make it right. And you're talking to a guy that makes more money on social media, Instagram in particular, than I do on my day job. 

Its funny because I see the same judgmental commentary in this very thread that I see in all the social media comments.

 

[TheFanatic]

Its funny because I see the same judgmental commentary in this very thread that I see in all the social media comments.

I'm not judging. I'm having a helluva time keeping my kids away from electronics. It's hard as hell. I know too much screen time is bad for them no matter what is on the device. Still very hard to get them away from it. There's a difference between saying social media is bad and saying you are a bad parent for letting your kids get on social media. I'm not judging anyone who's kids are on social media. I'm saying social media is bad and we should do whatever we can to steer them away from it. I'm assuming anyone who cares about their kids is mindful of moderation and is trying to teach that to them. 

 

[shadyridr]

I'm not judging. I'm having a helluva time keeping my kids away from electronics. It's hard as hell. I know too much screen time is bad for them no matter what is on the device. Still very hard to get them away from it. There's a difference between saying social media is bad and saying you are a bad parent for letting your kids get on social media. I'm not judging anyone who's kids are on social media. I'm saying social media is bad and we should do whatever we can to steer them away from it. I'm assuming anyone who cares about their kids is mindful of moderation and is trying to teach that to them. 

I never said you were judging. I just was pointing out that a lot of people here are saying they will never let their kids on social media because of all the evil judgmental commentary while also making judgmental commentary of their own in this very thread.

 

[parasaurolophus]

A 9yo with helicopter parents and limited activities doesnt need a phone. An independent 11-12yo who participates in activities outside of school does. Not sure why this is so hard to comprehend.

Right or wrong, any teenager without IG or Snapchat in today's world is missing out on life.

And no idea what people are talking about with "phone calls". Not sure my kids even know their phones have this ability.

I hate this answer.

 

[ChiefD]

I'm not judging. I'm having a helluva time keeping my kids away from electronics. It's hard as hell. I know too much screen time is bad for them no matter what is on the device. Still very hard to get them away from it. There's a difference between saying social media is bad and saying you are a bad parent for letting your kids get on social media. I'm not judging anyone who's kids are on social media. I'm saying social media is bad and we should do whatever we can to steer them away from it. I'm assuming anyone who cares about their kids is mindful of moderation and is trying to teach that to them. 

No kidding. My house has about $472 million worth of legos in the basement that they play with to help keep them off the screen. I silently cuss when I step on one in the middle of the night, but it keeps them off the electronics in the winter.

Summer time the kids are always outside.

 

[belljr]

I'm not judging. I'm having a helluva time keeping my kids away from electronics. It's hard as hell. I know too much screen time is bad for them no matter what is on the device. Still very hard to get them away from it. There's a difference between saying social media is bad and saying you are a bad parent for letting your kids get on social media. I'm not judging anyone who's kids are on social media. I'm saying social media is bad and we should do whatever we can to steer them away from it. I'm assuming anyone who cares about their kids is mindful of moderation and is trying to teach that to them. 

screen time is not the same as social media to me. She watches shows/videos/games etc   - She does not have instagram or facebook.  She is allowed to text

I used to spend tons of tv time when i was little among other stuff.

My daughter comes home from school, does homework and vegges on her screen BUT she is also working out/practicing/playing games  ~1-2 hours a day on avg so I dont really concern myself with that anymore.

 

[GregR]

I don't see the big deal.   It wouldn't be a huge deal logistically right now with my 11 year old, but there's definitely some times that it would help.  For instance, today, she and my eight year old took a bike ride a couple miles to the downtown area of town and I would've liked to have been able to shoot them a text every few to make sure all was good.  So I'm cool with her having one, but the wife has final say.

Sounds like a regular phone that just does phone calls and texts, but no data connection or apps, would fit.

 

[NutterButter]

Sounds like a regular phone that just does phone calls and texts, but no data connection or apps, would fit.

Came to that realization as well.   I'm so programmed to think smart phone, but for what my kids need on the go, a regular phone would suffice.   

the one drawback I can see is since the kid will never use it, there's a tendency that it will be misplaced or not charged or forgotten without reminding since they'll have little desire to have it on them.  

 

[TheFanatic]

Came to that realization as well.   I'm so programmed to think smart phone, but for what my kids need on the go, a regular phone would suffice.   

the one drawback I can see is since the kid will never use it, there's a tendency that it will be misplaced or not charged or forgotten without reminding since they'll have little desire to have it on them.  

That's a good observation that I hadn't realized. My oldest has been grounded twice this week for misplacing homework that he has finished. How the heck could he possibly be responsible enough to remember it all the time and remember to charge it?

 

[the rover]

That's a good observation that I hadn't realized. My oldest has been grounded twice this week for misplacing homework that he has finished. How the heck could he possibly be responsible enough to remember it all the time and remember to charge it?

Clearly, you shouldn't let him do homework if he's not responsible enough not to misplace it.

 

[TheFanatic]

Clearly, you shouldn't let him do homework if he's not responsible enough not to misplace it.

No, he has to do homework and he needs to learn not to misplace it which is a skill he needs before he gets a cell phone. 

 

[the rover]

No, he has to do homework and he needs to learn not to misplace it which is a skill he needs before he gets a cell phone. 

You should get the findmyhomework app.