Make fun of your wife's spending habits in here (2 Viewers)

[fantasycurse42]

My wife averages $150 a month on her nails... Had to look that one up on Amex.com, she's got talent.

 

[Sand]

My wife has a Friday in early December where she drinks at lunch with friends, then goes on an enormous Christmas shopping spree. For a few years, I tracked it here in real time, hitting refresh on my Bank of America online checking account every 15 minutes or so and posting the latest debits.

Looks like that thread is gone, though...

I remember that thread!

Great thread!

Also classic is the wife that went car shopping on a whim and spent $36,000 for a Toyota Corolla.

Jesus, when did Corolla's become some expensive?

When the wife had barely enough credit for the air in the tires and the salesman talked her into an outrageous 7 year loan (with a buyback in there, if memory serves).

 

[Jayrok]

My wife averages $150 a month on her nails... Had to look that one up on Amex.com, she's got talent.

dude

 

[Fat Nick]

Purses is the problem here, I just don't get it. Is it not the same if a guy had like 30 belts? A couple basic colors should do it I would hope, but it's a never ending thing. If I have the misfortune of being with here while at the mall, I can count on 20 minutes in the purse section at each and every store. Of course the more expensive the more "I like this one the most, oh my I can't believe its the most expensive one?!? I must just have good taste." speeches.

"This purse is too heavy to carry around, I need a smaller one"

next month:

"This purse is too small to hold all my stuff, I need a bigger one"

Oh...My wife has found a way to work the fact that we recently had our 1st kid into an excuse to buy more purses. I got her a really nice Coach work bag last year. Then, we spend $120 on a nice diaper bag. Now the "It holds everything, it's perfect!" diaper bag is "too big for just quick outings," but all the other purses she has are too small, so for her Birthday, she wanted this other bag.

I got it for her...mostly because she TOLD me what she wanted, meaning I didn't have to think of something, and it was under $200. Win. I think it's frivilous, but whatever.

Purses and Shoes - Women love them because they always fit.

 

[kentric]

Unfortunately, my wife was taught early in life that something that is expensive is of better quality than the same/similar item which costs less.

 

[sbonomo]

Unfortunately, my wife was taught early in life that something that is expensive is of better quality than the same/similar item which costs less.

that is not a tough sell to women....

 

[Fennis]

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

 

[Fennis]

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

 

[Fennis]

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

 

[SacramentoBob]

My wife has a Friday in early December where she drinks at lunch with friends, then goes on an enormous Christmas shopping spree. For a few years, I tracked it here in real time, hitting refresh on my Bank of America online checking account every 15 minutes or so and posting the latest debits.

Looks like that thread is gone, though...

I remember that thread!

Great thread!

Also classic is the wife that went car shopping on a whim and spent $36,000 for a Toyota Corolla.

Jesus, when did Corolla's become some expensive?

IIRC, she got a 7 year loan at 20%.

And justified it by saying a new car would be more reliable than having to spend $200 every six months on minor upkeep on the old one.

I found the thread, but it's "archived".

https://forums.footballguys.com/forum/index.php?/topic/284478-i-hate-salesmen/

 

[SacramentoBob]

That would be a great thread to bump too.

 

[fantasycurse42]

Okay, the Toyota thread has inspired me to share a story, I've been sitting on this one for two weeks, but it has been resolved.

Let me start off by saying my wife and I come from middle class families, we were both comfortable, but not wealthy growing up. Furthermore, when we first met almost 10 years ago I was making a fraction of what I do now and the potential didn't appear there. Now, over the last decade I've done tremendously better. We've gone from paycheck to paycheck almost a decade ago to extremely comfortable in 2015. My spending habits haven't changed much, and outside of nice dinners, occasional vacations, and a few misc. items, I am fairly frugal.

3 years ago I added her to my Amex account… She was pregnant and we decided she would stay at home, she was a dental assistant earning maybe $20 an hour working 3.5 days a week. She has her own checking account that has like $50 bucks in it from god knows how long ago. I actually opened a recent statement of hers just for a chuckle. We have a joint savings account and we are both on our son's savings account. To her credit, she never touches either of those. When I opened her Amex, it was like mine which has no limit and is paid in full monthly. After 2 months and gigantic bills back to back I put a limit of $1,000 a month on her card on top of $750 in cash she gets a month. This is basically weekday money as I pay for everything when we are together, diapers, food shopping and other necessities. When she runs through this money to quickly, I'll tell her to go pound sand. I don't spend nearly that much on myself.

Anyways, she was begging for a new kitchen set about 9 months ago. After about 3 months I obliged and we spent about $3k at West Elm. Now, for the last 4 months or so she has been begging for a new rug and light from West Elm, which I have said no, we don't need it. 3 weeks ago, a new light and end table show up from West Elm. I didn't think much of it, she prob got it on sale and used her monthly money for it. Fast forward a week later and we are sitting down for a nice dinner together, I arrived an hour before her and had about 5 drinks. We sit down for dinner and she tells me she opened a West Elm credit card and also bought a rug which was backordered and would be coming in early May. The total cost is $1,200. Well, for the following hour as we sat there eating our expensive meal and I continued to drink, I basically yelled at her the whole time. She insists she'll pay for it with her allowance (which is bull####)… Anyways, she knows how angry this made me, and I know she prob won't do this again, at least not for quite a few years. It has little to do with the $1,200, whatever I'll pay it, but don't open a line of credit without talking to me – We owe nobody anything and I like it that way… One day if we buy a house, I'd prefer it be with cash, I don't like owing anyone anything. She cried, apologized, and after a few days I moved on.

Her point was we do well and if she wants a new rug, light, and table why can't she get it… The truth is, I was going to get her this #### for Mother's Day, now I'll just pay the bill instead and that is all she will get– My wife generally knows not to #### around with money… I get it, we can't take it with us, but my goal is to take us from a middle class family growing up and to raise upper class children while they grow up… My son (future children) will never receive handouts, but they will live a good life… I'd also like to save as much money as humanly possible and retire by my mid to late 50's.

Assuming money was not an issue, how would you handle this situation?

 

[msommer]

My wife used to be a frivolous spender but the last couple of years she has started to change into "I need less stuff in my life". When we moved back from Brazil she brought at least 50 purses and 130 pairs of shoes. In the past couple of months she has actually begun to donate them to charities.

Obviously I am thrilled at the change but am a bit apprehensive that this is but the second part of a more circular motion bringing her back to frivolous spending times again

 

[msommer]

Okay, the Toyota thread has inspired me to share a story, I've been sitting on this one for two weeks, but it has been resolved.

Let me start off by saying my wife and I come from middle class families, we were both comfortable, but not wealthy growing up. Furthermore, when we first met almost 10 years ago I was making a fraction of what I do now and the potential didn't appear there. Now, over the last decade I've done tremendously better. We've gone from paycheck to paycheck almost a decade ago to extremely comfortable in 2015. My spending habits haven't changed much, and outside of nice dinners, occasional vacations, and a few misc. items, I am fairly frugal.

3 years ago I added her to my Amex account… She was pregnant and we decided she would stay at home, she was a dental assistant earning maybe $20 an hour working 3.5 days a week. She has her own checking account that has like $50 bucks in it from god knows how long ago. I actually opened a recent statement of hers just for a chuckle. We have a joint savings account and we are both on our son's savings account. To her credit, she never touches either of those. When I opened her Amex, it was like mine which has no limit and is paid in full monthly. After 2 months and gigantic bills back to back I put a limit of $1,000 a month on her card on top of $750 in cash she gets a month. This is basically weekday money as I pay for everything when we are together, diapers, food shopping and other necessities. When she runs through this money to quickly, I'll tell her to go pound sand. I don't spend nearly that much on myself.

Anyways, she was begging for a new kitchen set about 9 months ago. After about 3 months I obliged and we spent about $3k at West Elm. Now, for the last 4 months or so she has been begging for a new rug and light from West Elm, which I have said no, we don't need it. 3 weeks ago, a new light and end table show up from West Elm. I didn't think much of it, she prob got it on sale and used her monthly money for it. Fast forward a week later and we are sitting down for a nice dinner together, I arrived an hour before her and had about 5 drinks. We sit down for dinner and she tells me she opened a West Elm credit card and also bought a rug which was backordered and would be coming in early May. The total cost is $1,200. Well, for the following hour as we sat there eating our expensive meal and I continued to drink, I basically yelled at her the whole time. She insists she'll pay for it with her allowance (which is bull####)… Anyways, she knows how angry this made me, and I know she prob won't do this again, at least not for quite a few years. It has little to do with the $1,200, whatever I'll pay it, but don't open a line of credit without talking to me – We owe nobody anything and I like it that way… One day if we buy a house, I'd prefer it be with cash, I don't like owing anyone anything. She cried, apologized, and after a few days I moved on.

Her point was we do well and if she wants a new rug, light, and table why can't she get it… The truth is, I was going to get her this #### for Mother's Day, now I'll just pay the bill instead and that is all she will get– My wife generally knows not to #### around with money… I get it, we can't take it with us, but my goal is to take us from a middle class family growing up and to raise upper class children while they grow up… My son (future children) will never receive handouts, but they will live a good life… I'd also like to save as much money as humanly possible and retire by my mid to late 50's.

Assuming money was not an issue, how would you handle this situation?

Tell her to get a job, without the yelling and the drinking

 

[fantasycurse42]

Tell her to get a job, without the yelling and the drinking

Daycare around here is really expensive... Her working would basically be a scratch, so it doesn't really make sense. My son goes to a 2's program and will be in a 3's program next year, but these are only from 9-12 and 3 days a week.

 

[FatMax]

My wife is way better with money than I am. Within a month of us getting together, I opened a joint checking account and put her in charge. I haven't even checked the mail, much less opened it, in over ten years.

 

[sbonomo]

Okay, the Toyota thread has inspired me to share a story, I've been sitting on this one for two weeks, but it has been resolved.

Let me start off by saying my wife and I come from middle class families, we were both comfortable, but not wealthy growing up. Furthermore, when we first met almost 10 years ago I was making a fraction of what I do now and the potential didn't appear there. Now, over the last decade I've done tremendously better. We've gone from paycheck to paycheck almost a decade ago to extremely comfortable in 2015. My spending habits haven't changed much, and outside of nice dinners, occasional vacations, and a few misc. items, I am fairly frugal.

3 years ago I added her to my Amex account… She was pregnant and we decided she would stay at home, she was a dental assistant earning maybe $20 an hour working 3.5 days a week. She has her own checking account that has like $50 bucks in it from god knows how long ago. I actually opened a recent statement of hers just for a chuckle. We have a joint savings account and we are both on our son's savings account. To her credit, she never touches either of those. When I opened her Amex, it was like mine which has no limit and is paid in full monthly. After 2 months and gigantic bills back to back I put a limit of $1,000 a month on her card on top of $750 in cash she gets a month. This is basically weekday money as I pay for everything when we are together, diapers, food shopping and other necessities. When she runs through this money to quickly, I'll tell her to go pound sand. I don't spend nearly that much on myself.

Anyways, she was begging for a new kitchen set about 9 months ago. After about 3 months I obliged and we spent about $3k at West Elm. Now, for the last 4 months or so she has been begging for a new rug and light from West Elm, which I have said no, we don't need it. 3 weeks ago, a new light and end table show up from West Elm. I didn't think much of it, she prob got it on sale and used her monthly money for it. Fast forward a week later and we are sitting down for a nice dinner together, I arrived an hour before her and had about 5 drinks. We sit down for dinner and she tells me she opened a West Elm credit card and also bought a rug which was backordered and would be coming in early May. The total cost is $1,200. Well, for the following hour as we sat there eating our expensive meal and I continued to drink, I basically yelled at her the whole time. She insists she'll pay for it with her allowance (which is bull####)… Anyways, she knows how angry this made me, and I know she prob won't do this again, at least not for quite a few years. It has little to do with the $1,200, whatever I'll pay it, but don't open a line of credit without talking to me – We owe nobody anything and I like it that way… One day if we buy a house, I'd prefer it be with cash, I don't like owing anyone anything. She cried, apologized, and after a few days I moved on.

Her point was we do well and if she wants a new rug, light, and table why can't she get it… The truth is, I was going to get her this #### for Mother's Day, now I'll just pay the bill instead and that is all she will get– My wife generally knows not to #### around with money… I get it, we can't take it with us, but my goal is to take us from a middle class family growing up and to raise upper class children while they grow up… My son (future children) will never receive handouts, but they will live a good life… I'd also like to save as much money as humanly possible and retire by my mid to late 50's.

Assuming money was not an issue, how would you handle this situation?

This is a tough one. I am sure you probably feel a bit bad about making her cry, at the same time you were right. I think you just let her know that you will pay the bill off as a M-day present and that the account will be closed at that time. Also, let her know that if she really needs things that are outside of the normal budget then she will truely need to save via her allowance. That should shut down most requests fairly quickly as i am sure she won't give up shopping and starbucks (no idea what your wife spends on).

 

[Sweet J]

Tell her to get a job, without the yelling and the drinking

Daycare around here is really expensive... Her working would basically be a scratch, so it doesn't really make sense. My son goes to a 2's program and will be in a 3's program next year, but these are only from 9-12 and 3 days a week.

She needs to get a job to get out from under your thumb. It doesn't matter if it is a "scratch," at least she wouldn't have to beg her husband for an allounce, for god's sake. She needs to work, preferably full time, and the kids need to go into day care, preferably full time.

Or, you need to decide how much it's worth to you to have your son's mother in the house full-time, and then pay her accordingly. Treat it as a job; and pay it fairly. But full-time care of your only kid is probably worth more than $750/month. I guess that's unless when you get home she is completely off-duty and you are the person who is in charge of making everything happen with your kid.

To me, your situation sounds like a nightmare, which is scary, because my own situation sucks balls.

 

[jamny]

I always find it strange when one spouse treats the other like a child. I know there's probably not much you can do about it but it's an odd dynamic.

 

[fantasycurse42]

Tell her to get a job, without the yelling and the drinking

Daycare around here is really expensive... Her working would basically be a scratch, so it doesn't really make sense. My son goes to a 2's program and will be in a 3's program next year, but these are only from 9-12 and 3 days a week.

She needs to get a job to get out from under your thumb. It doesn't matter if it is a "scratch," at least she wouldn't have to beg her husband for an allounce, for god's sake. She needs to work, preferably full time, and the kids need to go into day care, preferably full time.

Or, you need to decide how much it's worth to you to have your son's mother in the house full-time, and then pay her accordingly. Treat it as a job; and pay it fairly. But full-time care of your only kid is probably worth more than $750/month. I guess that's unless when you get home she is completely off-duty and you are the person who is in charge of making everything happen with your kid.

To me, your situation sounds like a nightmare, which is scary, because my own situation sucks balls.

She gets an extra $1,000 a month on a CC, so it is $1,750 a month, basically just spending money since food, diapers, and all other necessities are paid for... Personally I think that is more than enough money to waste. How else would you propose controlling spend with someone who can be reckless if given the opportunity? She leaves money to me, she doesn't even know what we have in our bank account or even care bc she knows I manage it very diligently.

Personally I don't think it is a nightmare since this is our first real monetary clash in a decade, I just need to make sure this is the outlier and not the start of a trend.

 

[fantasycurse42]

Okay, the Toyota thread has inspired me to share a story, I've been sitting on this one for two weeks, but it has been resolved.

Let me start off by saying my wife and I come from middle class families, we were both comfortable, but not wealthy growing up. Furthermore, when we first met almost 10 years ago I was making a fraction of what I do now and the potential didn't appear there. Now, over the last decade I've done tremendously better. We've gone from paycheck to paycheck almost a decade ago to extremely comfortable in 2015. My spending habits haven't changed much, and outside of nice dinners, occasional vacations, and a few misc. items, I am fairly frugal.

3 years ago I added her to my Amex account… She was pregnant and we decided she would stay at home, she was a dental assistant earning maybe $20 an hour working 3.5 days a week. She has her own checking account that has like $50 bucks in it from god knows how long ago. I actually opened a recent statement of hers just for a chuckle. We have a joint savings account and we are both on our son's savings account. To her credit, she never touches either of those. When I opened her Amex, it was like mine which has no limit and is paid in full monthly. After 2 months and gigantic bills back to back I put a limit of $1,000 a month on her card on top of $750 in cash she gets a month. This is basically weekday money as I pay for everything when we are together, diapers, food shopping and other necessities. When she runs through this money to quickly, I'll tell her to go pound sand. I don't spend nearly that much on myself.

Anyways, she was begging for a new kitchen set about 9 months ago. After about 3 months I obliged and we spent about $3k at West Elm. Now, for the last 4 months or so she has been begging for a new rug and light from West Elm, which I have said no, we don't need it. 3 weeks ago, a new light and end table show up from West Elm. I didn't think much of it, she prob got it on sale and used her monthly money for it. Fast forward a week later and we are sitting down for a nice dinner together, I arrived an hour before her and had about 5 drinks. We sit down for dinner and she tells me she opened a West Elm credit card and also bought a rug which was backordered and would be coming in early May. The total cost is $1,200. Well, for the following hour as we sat there eating our expensive meal and I continued to drink, I basically yelled at her the whole time. She insists she'll pay for it with her allowance (which is bull####)… Anyways, she knows how angry this made me, and I know she prob won't do this again, at least not for quite a few years. It has little to do with the $1,200, whatever I'll pay it, but don't open a line of credit without talking to me – We owe nobody anything and I like it that way… One day if we buy a house, I'd prefer it be with cash, I don't like owing anyone anything. She cried, apologized, and after a few days I moved on.

Her point was we do well and if she wants a new rug, light, and table why can't she get it… The truth is, I was going to get her this #### for Mother's Day, now I'll just pay the bill instead and that is all she will get– My wife generally knows not to #### around with money… I get it, we can't take it with us, but my goal is to take us from a middle class family growing up and to raise upper class children while they grow up… My son (future children) will never receive handouts, but they will live a good life… I'd also like to save as much money as humanly possible and retire by my mid to late 50's.

Assuming money was not an issue, how would you handle this situation?

This is a tough one. I am sure you probably feel a bit bad about making her cry, at the same time you were right. I think you just let her know that you will pay the bill off as a M-day present and that the account will be closed at that time. Also, let her know that if she really needs things that are outside of the normal budget then she will truely need to save via her allowance. That should shut down most requests fairly quickly as i am sure she won't give up shopping and starbucks (no idea what your wife spends on).

This is kind of where my head is at.

 

[ChiefD]

The day we moved in together 13 years ago, I gave her my paycheck and haven't paid a bill since. I don't say a word all year about money, her spending habits, what it goes to...nothing. I don't ask for any more than I need for food, gas, clothes, etc.

But once a year in August, I go to Wisconsin for 4 glorious days by myself and float the Wisconsin river with my uncle, drinking beer all day and fishing for muskie, smallmouth bass, and sturgeon. Sometimes my brothers join me.

4 glorious days. All for keeping my mouth shut for a full year. Well worth it.

 

[Sweet J]

Tell her to get a job, without the yelling and the drinking

Daycare around here is really expensive... Her working would basically be a scratch, so it doesn't really make sense. My son goes to a 2's program and will be in a 3's program next year, but these are only from 9-12 and 3 days a week.

She needs to get a job to get out from under your thumb. It doesn't matter if it is a "scratch," at least she wouldn't have to beg her husband for an allounce, for god's sake. She needs to work, preferably full time, and the kids need to go into day care, preferably full time.

Or, you need to decide how much it's worth to you to have your son's mother in the house full-time, and then pay her accordingly. Treat it as a job; and pay it fairly. But full-time care of your only kid is probably worth more than $750/month. I guess that's unless when you get home she is completely off-duty and you are the person who is in charge of making everything happen with your kid.

To me, your situation sounds like a nightmare, which is scary, because my own situation sucks balls.

She gets an extra $1,000 a month on a CC, so it is $1,750 a month, basically just spending money since food, diapers, and all other necessities are paid for... Personally I think that is more than enough money to waste. How else would you propose controlling spend with someone who can be reckless if given the opportunity? She leaves money to me, she doesn't even know what we have in our bank account or even care bc she knows I manage it very diligently.

Personally I don't think it is a nightmare since this is our first real monetary clash in a decade, I just need to make sure this is the outlier and not the start of a trend.

Yeah, I think I get where you are at, and I totally simpathize. "Nightmare" is the wrong word. Only you know where you are at. It probably depends on how extravegant you are, and what your habits are. But it's a slippery slope if you are the "reasonable one" and she is the "reckless one." You want to be careful about resentment building (from either one of you). But again, my married life is a mess, so who am I to judge.

 

[James Daulton]

Okay, the Toyota thread has inspired me to share a story, I've been sitting on this one for two weeks, but it has been resolved.

Let me start off by saying my wife and I come from middle class families, we were both comfortable, but not wealthy growing up. Furthermore, when we first met almost 10 years ago I was making a fraction of what I do now and the potential didn't appear there. Now, over the last decade I've done tremendously better. We've gone from paycheck to paycheck almost a decade ago to extremely comfortable in 2015. My spending habits haven't changed much, and outside of nice dinners, occasional vacations, and a few misc. items, I am fairly frugal.

3 years ago I added her to my Amex account… She was pregnant and we decided she would stay at home, she was a dental assistant earning maybe $20 an hour working 3.5 days a week. She has her own checking account that has like $50 bucks in it from god knows how long ago. I actually opened a recent statement of hers just for a chuckle. We have a joint savings account and we are both on our son's savings account. To her credit, she never touches either of those. When I opened her Amex, it was like mine which has no limit and is paid in full monthly. After 2 months and gigantic bills back to back I put a limit of $1,000 a month on her card on top of $750 in cash she gets a month. This is basically weekday money as I pay for everything when we are together, diapers, food shopping and other necessities. When she runs through this money to quickly, I'll tell her to go pound sand. I don't spend nearly that much on myself.

Anyways, she was begging for a new kitchen set about 9 months ago. After about 3 months I obliged and we spent about $3k at West Elm. Now, for the last 4 months or so she has been begging for a new rug and light from West Elm, which I have said no, we don't need it. 3 weeks ago, a new light and end table show up from West Elm. I didn't think much of it, she prob got it on sale and used her monthly money for it. Fast forward a week later and we are sitting down for a nice dinner together, I arrived an hour before her and had about 5 drinks. We sit down for dinner and she tells me she opened a West Elm credit card and also bought a rug which was backordered and would be coming in early May. The total cost is $1,200. Well, for the following hour as we sat there eating our expensive meal and I continued to drink, I basically yelled at her the whole time. She insists she'll pay for it with her allowance (which is bull####)… Anyways, she knows how angry this made me, and I know she prob won't do this again, at least not for quite a few years. It has little to do with the $1,200, whatever I'll pay it, but don't open a line of credit without talking to me – We owe nobody anything and I like it that way… One day if we buy a house, I'd prefer it be with cash, I don't like owing anyone anything. She cried, apologized, and after a few days I moved on.

Her point was we do well and if she wants a new rug, light, and table why can't she get it… The truth is, I was going to get her this #### for Mother's Day, now I'll just pay the bill instead and that is all she will get– My wife generally knows not to #### around with money… I get it, we can't take it with us, but my goal is to take us from a middle class family growing up and to raise upper class children while they grow up… My son (future children) will never receive handouts, but they will live a good life… I'd also like to save as much money as humanly possible and retire by my mid to late 50's.

Assuming money was not an issue, how would you handle this situation?

lol at allowance.

 

[chet]

Normally, my wife is thrifty but we just had a $14k range delivered this am and she's talking about replacing our fridge/freezer for ~$13k and our dishwasher for ~$4k.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

To me, your situation sounds like a nightmare, which is scary, because my own situation sucks balls.

 

[swirvenirvin]

It was in sale and I used a gift card so it only came to $25.

Me _ don't you know that a giftcard doesn't count as getting something at a good price.

Her _ well I only spent $25

 

[fantasycurse42]

Okay, the Toyota thread has inspired me to share a story, I've been sitting on this one for two weeks, but it has been resolved.

Let me start off by saying my wife and I come from middle class families, we were both comfortable, but not wealthy growing up. Furthermore, when we first met almost 10 years ago I was making a fraction of what I do now and the potential didn't appear there. Now, over the last decade I've done tremendously better. We've gone from paycheck to paycheck almost a decade ago to extremely comfortable in 2015. My spending habits haven't changed much, and outside of nice dinners, occasional vacations, and a few misc. items, I am fairly frugal.

3 years ago I added her to my Amex account… She was pregnant and we decided she would stay at home, she was a dental assistant earning maybe $20 an hour working 3.5 days a week. She has her own checking account that has like $50 bucks in it from god knows how long ago. I actually opened a recent statement of hers just for a chuckle. We have a joint savings account and we are both on our son's savings account. To her credit, she never touches either of those. When I opened her Amex, it was like mine which has no limit and is paid in full monthly. After 2 months and gigantic bills back to back I put a limit of $1,000 a month on her card on top of $750 in cash she gets a month. This is basically weekday money as I pay for everything when we are together, diapers, food shopping and other necessities. When she runs through this money to quickly, I'll tell her to go pound sand. I don't spend nearly that much on myself.

Anyways, she was begging for a new kitchen set about 9 months ago. After about 3 months I obliged and we spent about $3k at West Elm. Now, for the last 4 months or so she has been begging for a new rug and light from West Elm, which I have said no, we don't need it. 3 weeks ago, a new light and end table show up from West Elm. I didn't think much of it, she prob got it on sale and used her monthly money for it. Fast forward a week later and we are sitting down for a nice dinner together, I arrived an hour before her and had about 5 drinks. We sit down for dinner and she tells me she opened a West Elm credit card and also bought a rug which was backordered and would be coming in early May. The total cost is $1,200. Well, for the following hour as we sat there eating our expensive meal and I continued to drink, I basically yelled at her the whole time. She insists she'll pay for it with her allowance (which is bull####)… Anyways, she knows how angry this made me, and I know she prob won't do this again, at least not for quite a few years. It has little to do with the $1,200, whatever I'll pay it, but don't open a line of credit without talking to me – We owe nobody anything and I like it that way… One day if we buy a house, I'd prefer it be with cash, I don't like owing anyone anything. She cried, apologized, and after a few days I moved on.

Her point was we do well and if she wants a new rug, light, and table why can't she get it… The truth is, I was going to get her this #### for Mother's Day, now I'll just pay the bill instead and that is all she will get– My wife generally knows not to #### around with money… I get it, we can't take it with us, but my goal is to take us from a middle class family growing up and to raise upper class children while they grow up… My son (future children) will never receive handouts, but they will live a good life… I'd also like to save as much money as humanly possible and retire by my mid to late 50's.

Assuming money was not an issue, how would you handle this situation?

lol at allowance.

If the word was changed from allowance to budget, would that make you happier?

 

[Dentist]

The day we moved in together 13 years ago, I gave her my paycheck and haven't paid a bill since. I don't say a word all year about money, her spending habits, what it goes to...nothing. I don't ask for any more than I need for food, gas, clothes, etc.

But once a year in August, I go to Wisconsin for 4 glorious days by myself and float the Wisconsin river with my uncle, drinking beer all day and fishing for muskie, smallmouth bass, and sturgeon. Sometimes my brothers join me.

4 glorious days. All for keeping my mouth shut for a full year. Well worth it.

sounds like the most expensive perpetual 4 day trip you could possibly imagine.... and it's being spent in Wisconsin in a canoe.

Do you make over 15K a year?

 

[jamny]

Do you call it allowance with her? A child gets an allowance.

 

[Gawain]

Normally, my wife is thrifty but we just had a $14k range delivered this am and she's talking about replacing our fridge/freezer for ~$13k and our dishwasher for ~$4k.

How the hell is a fridge worth 13K?

 

[James Daulton]

Okay, the Toyota thread has inspired me to share a story, I've been sitting on this one for two weeks, but it has been resolved.

Let me start off by saying my wife and I come from middle class families, we were both comfortable, but not wealthy growing up. Furthermore, when we first met almost 10 years ago I was making a fraction of what I do now and the potential didn't appear there. Now, over the last decade I've done tremendously better. We've gone from paycheck to paycheck almost a decade ago to extremely comfortable in 2015. My spending habits haven't changed much, and outside of nice dinners, occasional vacations, and a few misc. items, I am fairly frugal.

3 years ago I added her to my Amex account… She was pregnant and we decided she would stay at home, she was a dental assistant earning maybe $20 an hour working 3.5 days a week. She has her own checking account that has like $50 bucks in it from god knows how long ago. I actually opened a recent statement of hers just for a chuckle. We have a joint savings account and we are both on our son's savings account. To her credit, she never touches either of those. When I opened her Amex, it was like mine which has no limit and is paid in full monthly. After 2 months and gigantic bills back to back I put a limit of $1,000 a month on her card on top of $750 in cash she gets a month. This is basically weekday money as I pay for everything when we are together, diapers, food shopping and other necessities. When she runs through this money to quickly, I'll tell her to go pound sand. I don't spend nearly that much on myself.

Anyways, she was begging for a new kitchen set about 9 months ago. After about 3 months I obliged and we spent about $3k at West Elm. Now, for the last 4 months or so she has been begging for a new rug and light from West Elm, which I have said no, we don't need it. 3 weeks ago, a new light and end table show up from West Elm. I didn't think much of it, she prob got it on sale and used her monthly money for it. Fast forward a week later and we are sitting down for a nice dinner together, I arrived an hour before her and had about 5 drinks. We sit down for dinner and she tells me she opened a West Elm credit card and also bought a rug which was backordered and would be coming in early May. The total cost is $1,200. Well, for the following hour as we sat there eating our expensive meal and I continued to drink, I basically yelled at her the whole time. She insists she'll pay for it with her allowance (which is bull####)… Anyways, she knows how angry this made me, and I know she prob won't do this again, at least not for quite a few years. It has little to do with the $1,200, whatever I'll pay it, but don't open a line of credit without talking to me – We owe nobody anything and I like it that way… One day if we buy a house, I'd prefer it be with cash, I don't like owing anyone anything. She cried, apologized, and after a few days I moved on.

Her point was we do well and if she wants a new rug, light, and table why can't she get it… The truth is, I was going to get her this #### for Mother's Day, now I'll just pay the bill instead and that is all she will get– My wife generally knows not to #### around with money… I get it, we can't take it with us, but my goal is to take us from a middle class family growing up and to raise upper class children while they grow up… My son (future children) will never receive handouts, but they will live a good life… I'd also like to save as much money as humanly possible and retire by my mid to late 50's.

Assuming money was not an issue, how would you handle this situation?

lol at allowance.

If the word was changed from allowance to budget, would that make you happier?

I lol'd, clearly I'm happy.

 

[James Daulton]

Normally, my wife is thrifty but we just had a $14k range delivered this am and she's talking about replacing our fridge/freezer for ~$13k and our dishwasher for ~$4k.

How the hell is a fridge worth 13K?

Um, it's not.

 

[SacramentoBob]

It's chet.

 

[ChiefD]

The day we moved in together 13 years ago, I gave her my paycheck and haven't paid a bill since. I don't say a word all year about money, her spending habits, what it goes to...nothing. I don't ask for any more than I need for food, gas, clothes, etc.

But once a year in August, I go to Wisconsin for 4 glorious days by myself and float the Wisconsin river with my uncle, drinking beer all day and fishing for muskie, smallmouth bass, and sturgeon. Sometimes my brothers join me.

4 glorious days. All for keeping my mouth shut for a full year. Well worth it.

sounds like the most expensive perpetual 4 day trip you could possibly imagine.... and it's being spent in Wisconsin in a canoe.

Do you make over 15K a year?

With 3 kids in my house, 4 peaceful, quiet days in a fishing boat with a full cooler of cold ones is worth every penny.

And yes, I make more than 15k a year. 22k, to be exact.

 

[RUSF18]

lol at allowance.

If the word was changed from allowance to budget, would that make you happier?

I think it would make her happier. I agree with jamny, calling it an allowance makes her sound like a child and she might be going nuts on the spending just like a child would act out when they feel like they aren't getting what they want. Obviously all speculation on my end but she probably feels held down by you and by the fact that she doesn't have money of her own, even if it makes perfect sense for her to stay home instead of paying for child care.

I'd start over with her...we bring home this amount monthly, our hard expenses are this, putting this amount in savings each month and towards college for the kids will allow us to retire early, and the leftover is the amount we can both spend on whatever we want. That includes your dinners, and it includes her shopping. It doesn't sound like she's gonna go all forensic accountant on you, and if you need to fudge things a bit to make your point, you can pull it off (just tread carefully).

 

[Fennis]

Normally, my wife is thrifty but we just had a $14k range delivered this am and she's talking about replacing our fridge/freezer for ~$13k and our dishwasher for ~$4k.

How the hell is a fridge worth 13K?

it runs really fast and is hard to catch

 

[Chemical X]

my wife is not a big spender, but there is something about bags that flips her out. every so often she needs a new pair of pants or something, but inevitably i find her walking around with 2 bags on her shoulder in the store. funny thing is, she uses the same crappy black lunch lady sack daily. our closet is full of tagged bags. sometimes she'll mention she needs a new bag and i tell her i can just check our stock room to see what we have in the back. i kind of get an evil eye look. she seems to be getting a new soft spot for these light weight bubble jackets......but only if she can roll it up into its own bag.

 

[Kanil]

Normally, my wife is thrifty but we just had a $14k range delivered this am and she's talking about replacing our fridge/freezer for ~$13k and our dishwasher for ~$4k.

How the hell is a fridge worth 13K?

It's got one of those built in ice maker/fleshlight doohickeys in it. Really nice.

 

[msommer]

I always find it strange when one spouse treats the other like a child. I know there's probably not much you can do about it but it's an odd dynamic.

In addition to the like!

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.

My wife cut me down to once a month. I shouldn't feel bad...she cut out 3 other guys all together.

 

[BobbyLayne]

I always find it strange when one spouse treats the other like a child. I know there's probably not much you can do about it but it's an odd dynamic.

 

[General Malaise]

I always find it strange when one spouse treats the other like a child. I know there's probably not much you can do about it but it's an odd dynamic.

To be fair to my wife, I really do need to be treated like a 10 year old.

 

[NutterButter]

Are we just talking about material purchases or does super expensive organic, free range, locally grown, fairly traded, GMO free food and 20k/yr kindergarten count?

 

[Quez]

I NEVER HAVE ANYTHING TO WEAR"

 

[Cliff Clavin]

Are we just talking about material purchases or does super expensive organic, free range, locally grown, fairly traded, GMO free food and 20k/yr kindergarten count?

I'd rather she buy a new purse and shoes everyday.

 

[chet]

Normally, my wife is thrifty but we just had a $14k range delivered this am and she's talking about replacing our fridge/freezer for ~$13k and our dishwasher for ~$4k.

How the hell is a fridge worth 13K?

Matching Subzero 36" fridge and 36" freezer. ~$6500 each. What are you going to do?

 

[Statcruncher]

Normally, my wife is thrifty but we just had a $14k range delivered this am and she's talking about replacing our fridge/freezer for ~$13k and our dishwasher for ~$4k.

How the hell is a fridge worth 13K?

Matching Subzero 36" fridge and 36" freezer. ~$6500 each. What are you going to do?

This is how I handle the Sub Zero issue in my house.

 

[Jayrod]

My wife buys the worst freaking food. Everything is all natural or organic or whole wheat, etc. and it all tastes like crap. So not only do I not even like the food, it costs more. Yay, me.

I want something processed, dangit!

 

[Dentist]

The day we moved in together 13 years ago, I gave her my paycheck and haven't paid a bill since. I don't say a word all year about money, her spending habits, what it goes to...nothing. I don't ask for any more than I need for food, gas, clothes, etc.

But once a year in August, I go to Wisconsin for 4 glorious days by myself and float the Wisconsin river with my uncle, drinking beer all day and fishing for muskie, smallmouth bass, and sturgeon. Sometimes my brothers join me.

4 glorious days. All for keeping my mouth shut for a full year. Well worth it.

sounds like the most expensive perpetual 4 day trip you could possibly imagine.... and it's being spent in Wisconsin in a canoe.

Do you make over 15K a year?

With 3 kids in my house, 4 peaceful, quiet days in a fishing boat with a full cooler of cold ones is worth every penny.

And yes, I make more than 15k a year. 22k, to be exact.

i agree, good investment, carry on