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Middle-aged Dummies are back and bursting at the "themes" to get going! Full theme ahead! (10 Viewers)

#9 songs

kupcho1 – rain

Yambag – Metal songs from 1988-1992 that became the gateway into the world of music for a young Yambag


Fallen Angel - Poison

Summary: Poison is an American hair metal band formed in Mechanicsburg, Pennsylvania in 1983. The band achieved huge commercial success in the mid-1980s through the mid-1990s and sold over 50 million records and DVDs worldwide. Poison had a Billboard Hot 100 number one hit single with "Every Rose Has Its Thorn” and nine other songs hit inside the top 40.

Times Seen Live in Concert: 1 = 1991

Personal Connection: The last band to make my top 31 and it was a tough call. If memory serves me correctly, I feel Poison was the hair metal band that was the biggest beneficiary of MTV. There was a time where I felt they were on every 15 minutes. While 1988’s Open Up and Say… Ahhh! propelled them to stardom, I preferred their less polished sound of their 1986 debut, Look What the Cat Dragged In. And I loathe songs like Your Mama Don’t Dance and Unskinny Bop. My choice for the list was an easy one as I always loved Fallen Angel, another song where the video is etched in my brain.

Other songs to consider: Look What the Cat Dragged In, I Won’t Forget You
 
-OZ- - song / music moments from the Marvel cinematic universe

Daydream Believer - The Monkees

The most well-known version of “Daydream Believer” is sung by The Monkees, but the song was written by the late musician John Stewart. Stewart said he wrote the song as part of a 'suburban trilogy' and didn’t think “Daydream Believer” was his best work, but it became a huge hit after Stewart sold the song to The Monkees. Stewart said in an interview with The Archives of Music Preservation that "Daydream Believer" was so popular that it not only paid the rent - it kept him alive. Fifty years later, the song has had a resurgence in popularity after featuring in the hit Disney+ show, WandaVision. However, it’s The Monkees’ version of "Daydream Believer" that plays in WandaVision, not John Stewart’s original song, which had slightly different lyrics.
The Monkees version of “Daydream Believer” includes the line, “Now you know how happy I can be,” but John Stewart’s original lyrics were "Now you know how funky I can be.” Stewart opened up about the altered lyric in several interviews, saying that the line changed the meaning of the song completely. “Now you know how funky I can be,” alludes to the awkwardness of newlywed life and the fact that our true selves are often a bit weirder than the public personas we adopt. As Stewart said, “You know, after the wedding how things can get funky?”

Next up- one of the few which the artist was new to me.
 
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It felt like the last couple artist only ones didn't have as many participants,


That's more ideal imo. I don't see why people have to add to a list if it falls short of 35 artists. 35 artist playlists every other day is a LOT of music to fit in. I suppose I could also choose to not listen to every list but then what's the point of participating.
 
9.

Who?
– Ritchie Blackmore

What? – Deep Purple

Where? – Giants Stadium

When? – 1987

Why? – I wasn’t that familiar with Deep Purple when I saw them going to the show more for Guns N’ Roses and Aerosmith but old man Blackmore blew me away. The guy plays with a heavy speed sound which isn’t usually my jam, but he’s one of the best at it. I find it a little funny that he now plays in a medieval folk band under the name Blackmore’s Night – it’s pretty interesting to tell the truth.
Think I've landed on Deep Purple for the next countdown artist thread unless anyone already had them in mind.
 
9.

Who?
– Ritchie Blackmore

What? – Deep Purple

Where? – Giants Stadium

When? – 1987

Why? – I wasn’t that familiar with Deep Purple when I saw them going to the show more for Guns N’ Roses and Aerosmith but old man Blackmore blew me away. The guy plays with a heavy speed sound which isn’t usually my jam, but he’s one of the best at it. I find it a little funny that he now plays in a medieval folk band under the name Blackmore’s Night – it’s pretty interesting to tell the truth.
Think I've landed on Deep Purple for the next countdown artist thread unless anyone already had them in mind.
Not Blackmore's Night?
 
9.

Who?
– Ritchie Blackmore

What? – Deep Purple

Where? – Giants Stadium

When? – 1987

Why? – I wasn’t that familiar with Deep Purple when I saw them going to the show more for Guns N’ Roses and Aerosmith but old man Blackmore blew me away. The guy plays with a heavy speed sound which isn’t usually my jam, but he’s one of the best at it. I find it a little funny that he now plays in a medieval folk band under the name Blackmore’s Night – it’s pretty interesting to tell the truth.
Think I've landed on Deep Purple for the next countdown artist thread unless anyone already had them in mind.
Not Blackmore's Night?
Haven't heard any of his newer stuff, but we have time to see if any of it makes the cut. No room for Rainbow though - just too much Purple to cover.
 
The #9s are another loaded round. Known-to-me favorites:

kupcho1 – rain

Laughter In The Rain - Neil Sedaka

Dr. Octopus – guitarists I’ve seen live

Highway Star - Deep Purple (Richie Blackmore)

Yo Mama – World’s Worst Superheroes

Woman In Chains - Tears for Fears

-OZ- - song / music moments from the Marvel cinematic universe

Daydream Believer - The Monkees

Mt. Man – Number, Please

25 or 6 to 4 - Chicago

Raging weasel – name-checking Beatles or their songs

London Calling - The Clash

jwb – songs that sound great on a decent 2-channel system


Cowgirl in the Sand (Filmore East version) - Neil Young and Crazy Horse

scorchy – songs by Manchester(-ish) artists

The Air That I Breathe - The Hollies

landrys hat - favorite Side 2 Track 1s from my record collection

Halleluwah - Can - Tago Mago (1971)

rockaction - Songs that state the genre they’re in


Give Up The Funk (Tear The Roof Off The Sucker) - Parliament

Tau837 – Hair metal

Sweet Child O' Mine - Guns N' Roses

DrIanMalcolm – Songs about New York

Take the A Train - Duke Ellington Orchestra

Zegras11 – New wave

Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) – Eurythmics

Anonymous Mystery Theme Dictator - ???

Winter Hill - Doves

MAC_32 – Songs to play during (and after) a funeral

In My Life - The Beatles

"25 or 6 to 4" was the #1 song on my MAD 1 list.
"Halleluwah" made my 1971 countdown.
"Give Up the Funk" is a top 5 P-Funk song for me.

I ranked "Cowgirl in the Sand" #9 in my Neil countdown. What I said there:

As he was making preparations for his second solo album, Neil was laid up in bed with the flu and a high fever. During this time, he composed this, as well as Cinnamon Girl, Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere and Down by the River. It has to have been the most productive fever ever contracted.
Rock and rollers had taken guitar noise to a different level starting in 1967, but Neil went even further afield on this song. His lead runs are angry and yet melodic. It wasn't much like what the blues-influenced guitar virtuosos were doing at the time, and it was a different approach to the sonic wallop from what Jimi Hendrix was doing, but it captured something innovative and magical. Some writers have compared Neil's guitar work on this and Down by the River to free jazz; I know not nearly enough about music theory to comment on that.
I actually first encountered this as an acoustic song. It appears on the acoustic disc of CSNY's Four Way Street, which I heard often when I was young, and I had no idea this was an extended electric jam until I sought out FM radio as a tween.
The lyrics make some interesting points about the dilemmas regarding sexual freedom that were hotly debated at the time, but some of the lines have dated badly, to say the least. That may be a reason why this song is here and its companion is where it is.
 
9.

Who?
– Ritchie Blackmore

What? – Deep Purple

Where? – Giants Stadium

When? – 1987

Why? – I wasn’t that familiar with Deep Purple when I saw them going to the show more for Guns N’ Roses and Aerosmith but old man Blackmore blew me away. The guy plays with a heavy speed sound which isn’t usually my jam, but he’s one of the best at it. I find it a little funny that he now plays in a medieval folk band under the name Blackmore’s Night – it’s pretty interesting to tell the truth.
Think I've landed on Deep Purple for the next countdown artist thread unless anyone already had them in mind.
Not Blackmore's Night?
Haven't heard any of his newer stuff, but we have time to see if any of it makes the cut. No room for Rainbow though - just too much Purple to cover.
Plus Rainbow was done in MAD 2.
 
9.

Who?
– Ritchie Blackmore

What? – Deep Purple

Where? – Giants Stadium

When? – 1987

Why? – I wasn’t that familiar with Deep Purple when I saw them going to the show more for Guns N’ Roses and Aerosmith but old man Blackmore blew me away. The guy plays with a heavy speed sound which isn’t usually my jam, but he’s one of the best at it. I find it a little funny that he now plays in a medieval folk band under the name Blackmore’s Night – it’s pretty interesting to tell the truth.
Think I've landed on Deep Purple for the next countdown artist thread unless anyone already had them in mind.
Not Blackmore's Night?
Haven't heard any of his newer stuff, but we have time to see if any of it makes the cut. No room for Rainbow though - just too much Purple to cover.
Plus Rainbow was done in MAD 2.
Forgot about that - should go in a different direction then. Too much overlap.
 
9.

Who?
– Ritchie Blackmore

What? – Deep Purple

Where? – Giants Stadium

When? – 1987

Why? – I wasn’t that familiar with Deep Purple when I saw them going to the show more for Guns N’ Roses and Aerosmith but old man Blackmore blew me away. The guy plays with a heavy speed sound which isn’t usually my jam, but he’s one of the best at it. I find it a little funny that he now plays in a medieval folk band under the name Blackmore’s Night – it’s pretty interesting to tell the truth.
Think I've landed on Deep Purple for the next countdown artist thread unless anyone already had them in mind.
Not Blackmore's Night?
Haven't heard any of his newer stuff, but we have time to see if any of it makes the cut. No room for Rainbow though - just too much Purple to cover.
Plus Rainbow was done in MAD 2.
Forgot about that - should go in a different direction then. Too much overlap.
If you stuck with Deep Purple there would be no overlap with Rainbow?

I was joking about Blackmore's Night - in my write up I mentioned it's medieval folk music (so not sure how popular that would be in here).
 
MAC_32 – Songs to play during (and after) a funeral

In My Life - The Beatles
This was the first song that got me to think about what songs to play at my funeral / reception. My wife's uncle asked his kids to play it at his when he passed ~a decade ago. Never been to one before in which it wasn't 'typical funeral' music, so like most things I take on I've taken this to a different and excessive level. It helps that this is both a great song and perfectly tells the story of Bill. Miss that guy :suds:
 
9.

Who?
– Ritchie Blackmore

What? – Deep Purple

Where? – Giants Stadium

When? – 1987

Why? – I wasn’t that familiar with Deep Purple when I saw them going to the show more for Guns N’ Roses and Aerosmith but old man Blackmore blew me away. The guy plays with a heavy speed sound which isn’t usually my jam, but he’s one of the best at it. I find it a little funny that he now plays in a medieval folk band under the name Blackmore’s Night – it’s pretty interesting to tell the truth.
Think I've landed on Deep Purple for the next countdown artist thread unless anyone already had them in mind.
Not Blackmore's Night?
Haven't heard any of his newer stuff, but we have time to see if any of it makes the cut. No room for Rainbow though - just too much Purple to cover.
Plus Rainbow was done in MAD 2.
Forgot about that - should go in a different direction then. Too much overlap.
If you stuck with Deep Purple there would be no overlap with Rainbow?

I was joking about Blackmore's Night - in my write up I mentioned it's medieval folk music (so not sure how popular that would be in here).
I knew you were joking about BN.

As for Rainbow, no direct overlap per se, but a bit of genre overlap unless I went with a lot of DP's very early stuff.

Think I may stick with my original plan of Duran Duran.
 
if more and more people start going with two artists
I always wonder what the rush is. Savor the music.
There is no "rush", or no more than you claiming your artist months ahead of time. I listen to more music currently than most, I thought there was a little waning interest in the last 2 artist MADs, and had another one to share. That's it, no more no less. Yours and Doc's point is well taken and I don't want to add to that annoyance for other people, or make this a chore for people. One artist it is. I will probably spare you all the Opeth and pivot to this other one.
 
9. Found Love - The Fly Bi Nights

Dying doesn't make you whole. You should see what you look like. - PFC Dinkins, season 6, episode 10, A Tale of Two Cities


This is the first of two songs from the same episode, and it's purely coincidence that the name of the episode is A Tale of Two Cities.

The only information I located about this song comes from this article. Amazing what a bunch of kids could do when they weren't trying to accomplish anything. I had never heard this song before seeing this episode, which surprises me because it checks all the boxes for what makes a great psychedelic song, and no other song could have nailed the scene it was used in.


FWIW, part of this write-up comes from insights I gained by reading while preparing it, so I'm still mulling them over.

While Don and Roger take a typical Sterling Cooper business trip to California, the CGC half of the new company gives the SCDP half 'the business' and Don takes the 'trip', hallucinating himself right into a pool. This is when he re-encounters PFC Dinkins, whom he had met in Hawaii in this season's premiere (as a reminder, it's the one when Meagan is seen producing a joint from the waistband of her bikini, and Dinkins surreptitiously exchanges lighters with Don). Don is caught off guard by Dinkins' presence at this party, but from the conversation it becomes clear that Dinkins is speaking to Don from the next world, and Don is soon to join him. We've seen characters under the influence of drugs in other episodes (Peggy, Paul Kinsey and Smitty smoking marijuana, Roger tripping on LSD, and countless others in various states of drunkenness), and each had its own qualities; Don's hash-fueled stupor is no different in its uniqueness. I don't know how 'accurate' the LSD or hash portrayals were, but I applaud the show's ability to differentiate among all those conditions.

What I missed in every single re-watch of the show is the similarity between PFC Dinkins and Roger Sterling, in both looks and demeanor. I don't think there's anything more to be extrapolated from this quirk, though the other point I missed every single time also was the significance of Dinkins switching lighters, as it was an army-issue lighter that triggered the explosion that killed the real Don Draper and set young private Whitman down the road he's on now. In the episode when Don notices the switch, he tries multiple times to get rid of it and it keeps coming back. Hand to God, I never made that connection or thought about how it probably reminded Don of his past.

Also, it was fun seeing Danny Siegel show up again and get the better of Roger for once, though he's still pretty repugnant.
 
I'm really struggling with Season 4 of Mad Men. I'd read Charlie Steiner's write-ups through the end of Season 3, and I decided to come in and catch up on what he wrote for Season 4.

Only one song from Season 4. Now I think I'm not the only one who found this season uninspired. I look forward to trudging through the last few episodes and moving on to Season 5!
 
#9: ROYAL BLOOD - TYPHOONS

This was one I didn't bother looking to see if I took the song before or not. I didn't care, I dig this one too much. Royal Blood is two blokes from Worthing, England. No traditional guitar, if I am remembering correctly - just drums and the singer plays a bass. I've taken them a bit, but wanted some on here too.

Recommended listening: They only have 4 albums, and I don't love the 4th as much as the others. The self titled debut is my favorite, so I have a couple songs from there and then one song from each of the others



Next: we will be going back to Atl. First we had Mastodon MAD, then some Outkast, now we get some punk (with a tie-in to Mastodon!)
 
"Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" is a song by British synth-pop duo Eurythmics. It was released as the fourth and final single from their second album of the same name in January 1983. It was their breakthrough hit, establishing the duo worldwide. It reached number two on the UK Singles Chart in March 1983, and number one on the US Billboard Hot 100 six months later; it was their first single released in the US.

With Annie Lennox appearing with orange cropped hair and wearing a man's business suit in the music video, the BBC stated Lennox's "powerful androgynous look" was the music video that "broke the mold for female pop stars“.

After the song's rise, the duo's previous single, "Love Is a Stranger", was re-released and also became a worldwide hit. On Rolling Stone's The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time issue in 2003, "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" was ranked number 356. Eurythmics have regularly performed the song in all their live sets since its release—with an early television performance coming on the BBC's Top of the Pops in February 1983—and it is often performed by Lennox on her solo tours.

Recorded by Eurythmics in a small project studio in the attic of an old warehouse in north London where they were living, the song's success heralded a trend of musicians abandoning larger recording studios for home recording methodsIn 1991, the song was remixed and reissued to promote Eurythmics' Greatest Hits album. It re-charted in the UK, reaching number 48, and was also a moderate hit in dance clubs. Another remix by Steve Angello was released in France in 2006, along with the track "I've Got a Life".


 
I'm really struggling with Season 4 of Mad Men. I'd read Charlie Steiner's write-ups through the end of Season 3, and I decided to come in and catch up on what he wrote for Season 4.

Only one song from Season 4. Now I think I'm not the only one who found this season uninspired. I look forward to trudging through the last few episodes and moving on to Season 5!
Won't argue, but I will say keep slogging through, as it sets up several things for the rest of the series, and we get some good performances, especially Jared Harris as Lane Pryce and Randee Heller as Miss Blankenship (the last episode she's in has one of my favorite sequences of the whole series). To me, there's a good run of episodes from 5-7, so the worst thing I would say about season 4 is that it's 'uneven'.
 
if more and more people start going with two artists
I always wonder what the rush is. Savor the music.
There is no "rush", or no more than you claiming your artist months ahead of time. I listen to more music currently than most, I thought there was a little waning interest in the last 2 artist MADs, and had another one to share. That's it, no more no less. Yours and Doc's point is well taken and I don't want to add to that annoyance for other people, or make this a chore for people. One artist it is. I will probably spare you all the Opeth and pivot to this other one.
Yeah sorry - it obviously has nothing to do with you specifically it’s just that JML already does two artists and if you then chose to do two artists and that sparks some one else to do two artists and so on and so on…
 
The show had a way of balancing the heavier moments with levity, so her presence this season was much needed.

If you haven't gotten to episode 7, get ready to see her...differently.

I'm on episode 9. :)
Did you like 5-7?

FWIW, in episode 6, the actor that played the host of the Clio Awards ceremony is John Anniston, father of Jennifer.

Episode 7 has the most iconic quote of the whole series, and I think the whole arc between Don and Peggy in that episode is one of the best of the entire series.
 
kupcho1 – rain

Laughter In The Rain - Neil Sedaka
I went old, old, old school with #9. February 1, 1975, Laughter In The Rain was the nation's #1 song. Paraphrasing all over the place liberally from stereogum (remember that?):
Sedaka ... hit #1 with the quintessential 1962 doo-wöp bop “Breaking Up Is Hard To Do.”
Sedaka reinvented himself in the ’70s, and adapted to a newly mellow era. Sedaka ... was still writing simpering love songs, songs with nothing to say. He lucked out because, for whatever reason, people were into that again. :biggrin:

OK, so not very nice to Neil. But wait, they haven't even begun to dis
Sedaka, a former classical student at Juilliard, wasn’t exactly a molten slab of charisma. He gave off ferocious dork-vibes, but he’d started charting in the late ’50s, when he’d recorded songs that he’d written and various pop artists had turned down.

I can't remember whose MAD artist Elton John was, maybe @KarmaPolice knows. Anyway, enter Sir Elton
Sedaka kept an apartment in London, and at a party there, he met Elton John, who’d been a fan. John was starting his Rocket label, and when he learned that Sedaka didn’t have an American record deal, he signed Sedaka. This was a smart business move. After all, the early days of 1975 were defined by defanged covers of ’60s hits: John’s own take on “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds.” Sedaka was an actual early-’60s hitmaker who was perfectly happy to not have any fangs at all.

Still, though, it's a great rain song.

after a while we run under a tree
I turn to her and she kisses me
there with the beat of the rain on the leaves
softly she breathes and I close my eyes
sharing our love under stormy skies


ETA: I had to edit the post because doo-*** must be seen as an Italian slur
 
OK, PieLeeg draft is done and I've got some time before the Top 70 Book lists really start coming in (5 so far for those keeping score at home) so I thought I'd take another random walk for those I haven't yet addressed.

Don Quixote – Afrobeat

Allah Wakbarr (Spotify) - Ofo & The Black Company (Nigeria)
OK first, the elephant in the room: the title has to be a play on Allahu Akbar, no? (Ofo probably couldn't get away with this title today. He'd likely get the Rushdie treatment.)
I like this one a lot. It definitely has the early 70s feel to it and is totally at home on a psychedelic compendium.

Also, @Don Quixote , tip of the cap to you for the Sunny Ade earlier. That's the only artist I was familiar with and have enjoyed the Afrobeat selections.

-OZ- - song / music moments from the Marvel cinematic universe

Daydream Believer - The Monkees
I usually try to figure out which Marvel movie @-OZ- has pulled songs from and with this one I was at a loss. That's easily explained as I've seen none of the TV shows (although I hear this one wasn't too bad).

I love, love, love this song. Rest assured it's already on 1968 - Mystic crystal revelation.

falguy – songs by 31 different Canadian artists

Downtown Came Uptown - David Wilcox
I've never heard of David Wilcox. I dig the style; a mashup of so many different styles.
Is that a Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy riff I hear @falguy ? Nice.

Like the lyrics too
I used to think that coke came in a bottle or can
Silk underwear
Wasn't right on a man
Hush puppies and sneakers
Now it's alligator shoes
Because downtown came uptown for you


Raging weasel – name-checking Beatles or their songs

London Calling - The Clash
Fantastic song. I particularly like the fact that you squeezed "phony Beatlemania has bitten the dust" into a name-checking the Beatles theme. @Raging weasel , that's my wavelength exactly.

@rockaction , like many of the others in this countdown, has a theme that has the capability to surprise. And so far, the surprises have been uniformly good. I don't care if Parliament was recently covered in another MAD countdown. Put this song in every round.

TURN THIS MOTHER OUT!
 
Don Quixote – Afrobeat

Allah Wakbarr (Spotify) - Ofo & The Black Company (Nigeria)

This is another one that I included in a MAD 31 rest of world list and decided could not leave off here. I’m not sure there is anything that I have heard quite like it. The Nigerian acid rock genre may only have a population of Ofo.


At #8, I will get back to something new to MAD, and, if search is to believed (questionable), it will also be the band’s first mention on these forums.
 
jwb – songs that sound great on a decent 2-channel system

Cowgirl in the Sand (Filmore East version) - Neil Young and Crazy Horse

Sorry for the long song. Especially since it's like 13 minutes of guitar solo. But that's Neil and the Horse, and that's the reason it's on my list. The whole "live band" thing that I've mentioned before, and Crazy Horse is the ultimate garage band, which really comes through here. The drums and bass are superbly sloppy and really drive this song, allowing Neil to do his "it's all one song" type solo, along with Danny Whitten complementing him perfectly. To me, this is the definitive version of Cowgirl, and yea, I know it's long but it's great for the "crank it up" aspect of good rock speakers. I can't get enough of this rhythm section.

Side note: I always wanted Neil to be asked to play the super bowl, and they'd be like "ok, Neil, 15 minutes... so 4 or 5 hits, right?" and instead he'd whip out something like this.
 
Yeah sorry - it obviously has nothing to do with you specifically it’s just that JML already does two artists and if you then chose to do two artists and that sparks some one else to do two artists and so on and so on…
That's it then, challenge accepted.

Next round I'm doing 31 artists

but only 1 song from each
That’s a funny idea. Pick one song and do 31 different covers of it.
 
Yeah sorry - it obviously has nothing to do with you specifically it’s just that JML already does two artists and if you then chose to do two artists and that sparks some one else to do two artists and so on and so on…
That's it then, challenge accepted.

Next round I'm doing 31 artists

but only 1 song from each
That’s a funny idea. Pick one song and do 31 different covers of it.
**** that. I'm out!

:lol:
 
Yeah sorry - it obviously has nothing to do with you specifically it’s just that JML already does two artists and if you then chose to do two artists and that sparks some one else to do two artists and so on and so on…
That's it then, challenge accepted.

Next round I'm doing 31 artists

but only 1 song from each
That’s a funny idea. Pick one song and do 31 different covers of it.

My Stagger Lee playlist is up to an even hundred versions
 
World’s Worst Superheroes #9

Woman In Chains

Artist - Tears for Fears (1989)

Strengths - Has developed incredible core strength from her extensive resistance training (always walking around with all those chains on); can be a nice way to spice things up in the bedroom if you are both into that kind of thing

Weaknesses - Heavy chains tend to slow her down and limit her mobility; clinking of chains makes it hard for her to sneak up on people; minimal use of her arms or legs; has forgotten her safe word


There Goes My Hero

Situation
- You have stowed away on the greatest, sturdiest luxury ship of its time. Unfortunately, the unsinkable has done the unthinkable and crashed into an iceberg. You’re floating in the frigid waters of the North Atlantic, but need rescue asap before all is lost.

You: [head barely above water, body shivering uncontrollably] “I can’t believe my girlfriend bailed on me. Damn you, Rich Girl! Somebody save me!”

Woman In Chains: [floating nearby in her lifeboat] “What is that I hear? Somebody somewhere is trying to breathe.”

You: [flailing loudly] “Over here, Woman In Chains! Rich Girl selfishly thought that big huge door she was floating on could only fit one person so she pushed me off into the icy water. Hurry up!”

WIC: [struggling to paddle over with just one hand since her arms are all chained up] “I’m going as fast as I can! Here, try to grab my hand!”

You: “I can’t reach, you have to lean over the side of the boat more!”

WIC: [starts leaning over, but the weight of her chains starts to make the lifeboat tip over] “Oh no!”

You: [holding onto her hand as the boat flips over] “I feel hopelessly weighed down by your eyes (and arms and legs and torso) of steel!”

KERPLUNK!!! You and Woman In Chains sink to the bottom of the ocean together as My Heart Will Go On starts to play.

:fishy:
 
World’s Worst Superheroes #9

Woman In Chains

Artist - Tears for Fears (1989)

Strengths - Has developed incredible core strength from her extensive resistance training (always walking around with all those chains on); can be a nice way to spice things up in the bedroom if you are both into that kind of thing

Weaknesses - Heavy chains tend to slow her down and limit her mobility; clinking of chains makes it hard for her to sneak up on people; minimal use of her arms or legs; has forgotten her safe word


There Goes My Hero

Situation
- You have stowed away on the greatest, sturdiest luxury ship of its time. Unfortunately, the unsinkable has done the unthinkable and crashed into an iceberg. You’re floating in the frigid waters of the North Atlantic, but need rescue asap before all is lost.

You: [head barely above water, body shivering uncontrollably] “I can’t believe my girlfriend bailed on me. Damn you, Rich Girl! Somebody save me!”

Woman In Chains: [floating nearby in her lifeboat] “What is that I hear? Somebody somewhere is trying to breathe.”

You: [flailing loudly] “Over here, Woman In Chains! Rich Girl selfishly thought that big huge door she was floating on could only fit one person so she pushed me off into the icy water. Hurry up!”

WIC: [struggling to paddle over with just one hand since her arms are all chained up] “I’m going as fast as I can! Here, try to grab my hand!”

You: “I can’t reach, you have to lean over the side of the boat more!”

WIC: [starts leaning over, but the weight of her chains starts to make the lifeboat tip over] “Oh no!”

You: [holding onto her hand as the boat flips over] “I feel hopelessly weighed down by your eyes (and arms and legs and torso) of steel!”

KERPLUNK!!! You and Woman In Chains sink to the bottom of the ocean together as My Heart Will Go On starts to play.

:fishy:
Is her name Alice?
 

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