A simple, fun trop rock cut and an appropriate intro to the next two months.
I went the opposite way.
Hate Me
The opening features an authentic voicemail from Furstenfeld's mother, who expresses concern about his well-being and medication. The music video, directed by Kevin Kerslake, begins with Furstenfeld sitting on his bed, holding an answering machine, and playing the tape of his mother's message.
Blue October’s highest chart-topping single, “Hate Me” (released in January 2006 off the band’s fourth studio album,
Foiled) was written when a 26-year-old Justin was in the grips of addiction. He recalls going on tour, cheating on his girlfriend, his life spiraling: “I started using more and more and more drugs…just really disappearing from everyone and putting all of my vulnerability and all of my depression and all of my addiction and bad decisions into my music.”
After his girlfriend kicked him out, he was living with his manager, Paul Nugent. “I was self-medicating…and not being able to sleep. I’m laying in bed and I’m thinking, ‘Oh my God, I have to block out thoughts of her so I don’t lose my head. They crawled in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed.’ I remember sitting up in Paul’s bed and I got this paper and I wrote it down, and it was a letter to [my girlfriend] Maime. Then it just came out…”
Perhaps the deeper success of “Hate Me” is its constant inspiration for those struggling with addiction. Justin believes the song strikes a chord with addicts because “it’s about what they feel at night when they’re sleeping, when they have no other option, but to get clean or die…
“The kids…the kids that’ll come up to me and be like, ‘Dude, three days sober. I can’t stop listening to that song.’ I was like, ‘Well, then, don’t stop. It’s all good. Just keep going.’”
He circles back to the topic of spirituality and, for him, its essential role in recovery. “The difference of what recovery and what spirituality can do for a person will make them believe in themselves again and it will allow them to give themselves a break and forgive themselves just long enough to get out of that closet of shame and closet of guilt to look at themselves in the mirror and go, ‘Oh, I see you. I forgive you. Now we have a chance to not use again.’”
It was all about the drugs back then. It wasn’t just partying. It was a guy with a problem who literally put himself and his girlfriend in danger all the time, no matter where they went.
The problem is me and this young lady doesn’t deserve to be around it. The best thing that she could possibly do is not try to help me and not try to save me. Because the best thing she could ever do was to literally hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you.
Do you know what I’m saying? It was the first time in a song that I could really express something really raw and something really unbelievably honest to another person. We had already broken up and it was crazy. I just remembered when that song came out, it blew up and it went platinum. She would call my mom and say, “I heard that song.” My mom would be like, “You know that’s about you, right?”