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My 14yo in trouble at school (1 Viewer)

Get a conference with the teacher.  Attend wearing sweat pants and after having taken a Viagra.  Sit in front of her legs splayed apart.  Ask her for her explanation on why some words are unacceptable. Get into a discussion on morality and mores while almost, but not quite, imperceptibly thrusting your erection in her direction. 

 
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Tom Skerritt said:
And while typing the previous post, my son texted me that he got a Saturday suspension. 
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Five high school students, all different stereotypes, meet in Saturday detention, where they pour their hearts out to each other, and discover how they have a lot more in common than they thought.

 
They don't give Saturday suspensiin for a single instance of swearing. Sorry to inform you, this is a repeat offense and your son is a doosh.

 
Something is very off in this story.  No one gets a Saturday detention for a first time half swear in a hallway.   It just doesn't make any sense.

 
Good lesson for your son to learn Saturday. There are times in life where you just need to apologize and move on. 

I'm sure he still had an attitude and the teacher wanted to see him in the morning to see if his attitude changed. Nope and there is the result. 

I'm curious what the rest of the story is but if it is the above I don't have any issue with the consequences. As a parent I wouldn't object one bit if my son was being disrespectful. All he had to do was say sorry for letting that slip and I'm sure this would of been over at that moment. 

 
My oldest daughter one time got accused of cheating.  The teacher told them to put their books away.  My daughter said she put the book under her desk, but still open.  She wanted us to go to school guns blazing defending her.  I told her that when someone tells her to put her book away, you close the book and put it in your bag, that way you can't possibly be accused of cheating.  My daughter was not a good student, so quite frankly, it wouldn't surprise me if she panicked because she wasn't ready for the test, but I did believe her.  She argued with the teacher.

Sometimes, it's better to just say you're sorry and move on.  It makes things much easier.  I don't think your son did anything egregious, but like you said, he should have just been respectful and moved on.

 
Couple of details...

The teacher in question is actually the Asst. Principal. She was formerly a very involved parent (mom), then school photographer, then teacher, and now Asst. Principal. I have known her for several years. 

I have sent an email to get her version of the incident. We'll see how it compares to my son's version. 

 
If a word gets the "###" treatment here at FFA, you can be sure that it's a naughty word. Kid's lucky he didn't get banned from school.

 
Tom Skerritt said:
Couple of details...

The teacher in question is actually the Asst. Principal. She was formerly a very involved parent (mom), then school photographer, then teacher, and now Asst. Principal. I have known her for several years. 

I have sent an email to get her version of the incident. We'll see how it compares to my son's version. 
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That makes more sense. Administration should handle discipline like this, especially if it happened in the hallway. The way it's handled is odd. Coming to your car and having your kid come in early to meet her? Sounds like amateur hour over there.

 
Maybe he needs special care, the kind one can only receive in a private school or perhaps boarding school. Sounds like the military is going to be a strong option, might want to enroll him in the ROTC program at the school.

 
Ilov80s said:
That makes more sense. Administration should handle discipline like this, especially if it happened in the hallway. The way it's handled is odd. Coming to your car and having your kid come in early to meet her? Sounds like amateur hour over there.
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Yeah, I agree with all of this. I don't have a problem with being disciplined for inappropriate behavior, but the punishment should fit the crime, and Saturday detention feels a bit excessive here. I would think that some classroom chores for an hour after school maybe, but ruining a whole Saturday? But whatever. Take it on the chin, and move on.

Though I was joking with my wife and comparing this to The Breakfast Club, as others have done here. I was remembering the scene where they go around telling everyone why they are in detention... ditching school, a flare gun going going off in a locker, a dope dealing delinquent, taping Larry Lester's buns together, etc. Imagine the befuddlement when they get around to someone saying that they are in detention for saying the word "a$$". Would be pretty ridiculous comparatively speaking, no?

Have not heard back from the asst. principal yet. And apparently the Saturday detention is to be served at the end of January. This also seems weird and stupid... akin to rubbing a dog's nose in his pile of #### 6 weeks after crapping in the house. Unless I hear differently, my plan is to respect and support the authority of the asst. principal, but I will also respectfully disagree with the way this whole thing has been handled.

 
Tom Skerritt said:
Yeah, I agree with all of this. I don't have a problem with being disciplined for inappropriate behavior, but the punishment should fit the crime, and Saturday detention feels a bit excessive here. I would think that some classroom chores for an hour after school maybe, but ruining a whole Saturday? But whatever. Take it on the chin, and move on.

Though I was joking with my wife and comparing this to The Breakfast Club, as others have done here. I was remembering the scene where they go around telling everyone why they are in detention... ditching school, a flare gun going going off in a locker, a dope dealing delinquent, taping Larry Lester's buns together, etc. Imagine the befuddlement when they get around to someone saying that they are in detention for saying the word "a$$". Would be pretty ridiculous comparatively speaking, no?

Have not heard back from the asst. principal yet. And apparently the Saturday detention is to be served at the end of January. This also seems weird and stupid... akin to rubbing a dog's nose in his pile of #### 6 weeks after crapping in the house. Unless I hear differently, my plan is to respect and support the authority of the asst. principal, but I will also respectfully disagree with the way this whole thing has been handled.
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The school sounds poorly run, at least in how it handles discipline. If I sent every kid in the hallway that I heard swearing to the office, there would be no kids left in the hallway.

 I will say this, schools are much more strict than they used to be. In some ways this is good (we really don't want a smoking section for kids in school) and in some ways bad (it's seems extreme to suspend an 18 year old 5 days for possession of drug paraphernalia because the teacher saw a lighter in their purse). I have laugh at the idea of a flare gun in the locker getting Saturday detention. Having a flare gun in school would be an automatic 180 day suspension. 

 
Until you talk to the teacher and get her side of this, there is no need to speculate.  Something seems off on this story.  Your son did not tell the whole story possibly.  Maybe the teacher is just a power-hungry wench.  Maybe your son has been caught swearing before. 

This is a teachable moment for your son no matter what.  Make sure that he sees that you are taking the situation seriously and respond effectively. 

 
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DocHolliday said:
Until you talk to the teacher and get her side of this, there is no need to speculate.  Something seems off on this story.  Your son did not tell the whole story possibly.  Maybe the teacher is just a power-hungry wench.  Maybe your son has been caught swearing before. 

This is a teachable moment for your son no matter what.  Make sure that he sees that you are taking the situation seriously and respond effectively. 
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No doubt. Definitely using this as a teaching opportunity.

Before his meeting with the principal, I told him to be respectful, contrite, and to just apologize for his actions. I told him that this is not a battle that he is going to win under any circumstances. He said that he did all that, and the meeting was otherwise uneventful. He said that as he walking out of the meeting, the principal said to him something to the effect of "and oh yeah, I'm gonna have you serve a Saturday detention at the end of January."

When I picked him up yesterday, he was obviously not happy about it and said that he got a detention basically for doing nothing. And I had to tell him that he didn't do nothing. He did something. He's just not happy with the consequences. Can't say I blame him, but a lesson in life this will be.

 
Yeah, I am guessing there is a lot more to this story than your son is telling you. 

Schools have such bigger fish to fry on a daily basis that a slip of a cuss word by an otherwise good kid, would not elicit this type of response. 

 
I am not one to scold students about language. I can't because I myself cuss like an Irish Sailor.

We actually have a list of acceptable but slightly inappropriate language. My black students especially like Bull Honkey when it comes flying out of my mouth. Honestly as much as I would like to pile on I probably would have taken both boys and asked them what sparked all of this over lunch in my room? 

 
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Tom Skerritt said:
Yeah, I agree with all of this. I don't have a problem with being disciplined for inappropriate behavior, but the punishment should fit the crime, and Saturday detention feels a bit excessive here. I would think that some classroom chores for an hour after school maybe, but ruining a whole Saturday? But whatever. Take it on the chin, and move on.

Though I was joking with my wife and comparing this to The Breakfast Club, as others have done here. I was remembering the scene where they go around telling everyone why they are in detention... ditching school, a flare gun going going off in a locker, a dope dealing delinquent, taping Larry Lester's buns together, etc. Imagine the befuddlement when they get around to someone saying that they are in detention for saying the word "a$$". Would be pretty ridiculous comparatively speaking, no?

Have not heard back from the asst. principal yet. And apparently the Saturday detention is to be served at the end of January. This also seems weird and stupid... akin to rubbing a dog's nose in his pile of #### 6 weeks after crapping in the house. Unless I hear differently, my plan is to respect and support the authority of the asst. principal, but I will also respectfully disagree with the way this whole thing has been handled.
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And they all moved away from me on the Group "W" bench.

 
Ministry of Pain said:
I am not one to scold students about language. I can't because I myself cuss like an Irish Sailor.

We actually have a list of acceptable but slightly inappropriate language. My black students especially like Bull Honkey when it comes flying out of my mouth. Honestly as much as I would like to pile on I probably would have taken both boys and asked them what sparked all of this over lunch in my room? 
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The thing is... "a$$" was not said in an aggressive way. His friend jokingly shut his locker on him, and he responded in an appropriately sarcastic/cynical tone.

 
So the asst principal called me on Saturday morning to discuss the incident about my son. She confirmed pretty much the exact details described by my son. She did not see what precipitated him saying the word "a$$", but she witnessed him saying it. He was then told to meet her the following morning. She said that he was very respectful at the meeting, he admitted to saying it, and was apologetic. When my son told her why he said it (a friend jokingly slammed his locker shut), she asked my son if he was being harassed/bullied, or if he needed help dealing with this other kid... to which he shrugged it off and said that it wasn't a big deal. Because it wasn't.

The asst principal then decided that the Saturday detention was the appropriate punishment for this infraction. She told me that she just cannot let this incident go unpunished because things would get out of control with the students if they felt that it was acceptable to use profanity. She confessed that she knows that the kids probably use much worse language, but when she witnesses something like this, she has an obligation to do something. Fine.

Not much more I could do but listen and understand. I was pleased to hear that what my son told me was the absolute truth. There was no mention of my son being disrespectful or having an attitude. We may not agree with the punishment, but lesson learned. Don't get caught.

 
Tom Skerritt said:
So the asst principal called me on Saturday morning to discuss the incident about my son. She confirmed pretty much the exact details described by my son. She did not see what precipitated him saying the word "a$$", but she witnessed him saying it. He was then told to meet her the following morning. She said that he was very respectful at the meeting, he admitted to saying it, and was apologetic. When my son told her why he said it (a friend jokingly slammed his locker shut), she asked my son if he was being harassed/bullied, or if he needed help dealing with this other kid... to which he shrugged it off and said that it wasn't a big deal. Because it wasn't.

The asst principal then decided that the Saturday detention was the appropriate punishment for this infraction. She told me that she just cannot let this incident go unpunished because things would get out of control with the students if they felt that it was acceptable to use profanity. She confessed that she knows that the kids probably use much worse language, but when she witnesses something like this, she has an obligation to do something. Fine.

Not much more I could do but listen and understand. I was pleased to hear that what my son told me was the absolute truth. There was no mention of my son being disrespectful or having an attitude. We may not agree with the punishment, but lesson learned. Don't get caught.
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The ### t Principal needs a good pounding.  Sounds like she has some pent up frustrations.  She is a fool if she thinks that her punishment is going to send a message to your son or any other student in that school. 

 
I'm going to guess that the other people in Sat detention did a little worse stuff than your son.

did he get to hook up with the artistic girl with dandruff at least? 

... or is he the nerdy one who had to write the letter of apology for everybody?

 
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