My wife, she's... overweight. (3 Viewers)

[jwb]

The funny thing is that if you got divorced she would probably have no problem losing the weight.

A guy I work with divorced his wife because she was fat and lazy and would not do anything with herself. Fast forward a year she has lost 20 lbs..goes to the gym 3-4 days a week..walks a couple of days a week..wears makeup and had her hair highlighted and plays in a golf league. Last time I saw him he said "Now she is doing everything that I asked her to do the last 15 years..unreal"

Attraction for the opposite sex is the biggest motivator there is.

This is true. And the hotter she is, the better mate she can obtain. She simply did not consider your friend to be worth the effort.

This is likely spot-on. In general terms, if your spouse is disinterested in your happiness (whatever that is - weight, dress, activity, finances, etc), then they are probably disinterested in you.When my first wife and I divorced, we both thrived and actually became more like the person each of us wanted in the first place. She got more outgoing, I became more responsible and actually made money, etc. But no matter what, it was clear we weren't interested in doing that for each other, for whatever reason. And maybe, had we realized what each other really wanted, we could have - we'll never know.

There are three choices here:

1) Live with the unhappiness.

2) Divorce

3) Find out exactly what it is your partner really wants, and then be that person.

#3 is very tricky, however. It might be impossible for some, as these could be deep-seated things (my ex and I couldn't quite synch up in what we both really wanted). Maybe a wife really wants her man to be an alpha-male leader she can count on, and the man just isn't that way. Maybe she wants someone who is a better provider, but the man is prettymuch topped out in his career. Those could be hard to fix. For my ex and I, she did really want someone more dependable in a financial sense, and I wasn't that guy at that time. I was too interested in partying and "making memories" instead of making money. And everytime money was mentioned, it caused a fight (look, no man wants to be told he's not a good provider, but truthfully, I wasn't at the time. However, that was a fight she wasn't winning - the minute money came up, I got defensive. That ended all hope of things getting solved.)

Lastly, the whole "look, you lose weight and I'll eat better and exercise with you" that's been discussed is silly. Because she probably doesn't care about how he eats/etc - that's not going to motivate her. She wants something totally different (and may not ever really come out and say what it is, because it could be an unfixable thing.)

 

[offdee]

I'm also in the same boat as the OP and I'm impressed with the discussion. The last one from Offdee is where I am most days. Is there enough positive to off-set the negative? I'm still married, so I guess the answer is yes - my kids are a huge part of that equation. Someone above said something that makes me consider my situation in a different light though. I do believe it will take a shock for my wife to lose weight, the two prominent/likely shocks being a health problem or me leaving. My thought is - if I left (and I make the assumption she'd then lose weight and become healthier),would that actually be better for her in the long run due to better health? My viewpoint of course is all about me and my perspective, so thinking about it from a different angle is interesting.

That's the rub. If you leave, odds are she will lose some weight and you won't be able to reap the benefits. If you stay, she has no motivation to change so will remain unhealthy. Somewhere in the middle there needs to be a realistic shock to the system that makes her see the light while you still stay in the relationship. The best way to go about this is to improve yourself, make yourself more attractive to women and start gaining the attention of other women. When she sees this, she will be threatened to improve to keep up with your new appearance. You don't need to act on anything and continue to be faithful, but becoming the best you can be is the only way to stay in the relationship and hopefully get an improvement in your wife.

In my case, already done. Lost 30 lbs this year, best shape I've been in since my 20's. Has had zero impact to my wife. I committed to it though hoping it would help, with the obvious benefit of getting myself healthier.

see post #826

 

[jwb]

I'm also in the same boat as the OP and I'm impressed with the discussion. The last one from Offdee is where I am most days. Is there enough positive to off-set the negative? I'm still married, so I guess the answer is yes - my kids are a huge part of that equation. Someone above said something that makes me consider my situation in a different light though. I do believe it will take a shock for my wife to lose weight, the two prominent/likely shocks being a health problem or me leaving. My thought is - if I left (and I make the assumption she'd then lose weight and become healthier),would that actually be better for her in the long run due to better health? My viewpoint of course is all about me and my perspective, so thinking about it from a different angle is interesting.

That's the rub. If you leave, odds are she will lose some weight and you won't be able to reap the benefits.

It depends on how strong the relationship is currently. When a woman, who is in love with her husband, thinks that she is no longer attractive to him... she will change in order to make her marriage work. If she thinks he desires other women and genuinely thinks he may leave her, many things are going to go through her mind. She feels unattractive and her world is no longer the same as she's used to. She may feel immediate and increased low self-esteem. This can lead to a change in lifestyle, including weight loss. She wants to keep him and desperately wants to be attractive to him like she once was. Not only will he (and she) reap benefits of her living a healthier lifestyle, he will also see a renewed interest in her sex life. A second honeymoon. But if she doesn't love him enough to make changes, then she may not try. But then again, perhaps he doesn't want to be in that type of relationship in the first place.

This works two ways, though. It's not apples to apples (in other words, the man being trim and healthy may mean nothing to the woman.) Maybe she wants him to improve in a similar "lifestyle change" fashion, but maybe her change involves time with the family or money or not drinking or something else.

 

[JFT Ben]

There are three choices here:

1) Live with the unhappiness.

2) Divorce

3) Find out exactly what it is your partner really wants, and then be that person.

...

Lastly, the whole "look, you lose weight and I'll eat better and exercise with you" that's been discussed is silly. Because she probably doesn't care about how he eats/etc - that's not going to motivate her.

I get that this is an outlet to flesh out ideas and others experience but at the end of the end of the day, these are the choices. Either your wife is a lazy sack, comfortable in her lifestyle or she's not. You can get fit, you can become more of a family leader, but if she doesn't want to change she won't. I would suggest trying to change the relationship dynamic (be the family leader, or up the Alpha as they say), get in shape and have outside interests for you, but she still has to carry her weight (no pun intended) if this is an issue for you (and for most men it is). When all that is done, it really then comes down to choice 1 or 2. Good luck fellas. And Pats3in4, if you're still following: Good on you for getting to that place with your own situation. I was hoping you'd find that path and reestablish the baseline.

 

[iamsmilin]

I am one of only 3 males that work with 63 women and I can tell you that as a sex, women have terrible eating habits but yet complain about their weight. When that subject comes up I say nothing. "Diet" to them is impermanent, when it should be a lifestyle. They talk about losing weight for an event more than for themselves. They are a very odd being.

It seems some women have more fun complaining about weight than actually doing something that would make them look and feel better. Hey, you wanna lose weight? Stop sucking down that 400 calorie "coffee" drink everyday.

 

[General Malaise]

I am one of only 3 males that work with 63 women and I can tell you that as a sex, women have terrible eating habits but yet complain about their weight. When that subject comes up I say nothing. "Diet" to them is impermanent, when it should be a lifestyle. They talk about losing weight for an event more than for themselves. They are a very odd being.

What sort of work do you do?

Pimp.

 

[General Malaise]

The best way to go about this is to improve yourself, make yourself more attractive to women and start gaining the attention of other women. When she sees this, she will be threatened to improve to keep up with your new appearance.

Well, I feel like a broken record, but this hasn't really been effective for me. Maybe it would work for other people.

And that goes back to idea of...if this doesn't work than you have one of two choices:1) Stay in the relationship and just understand this is how it will always be. You have a wife that is lazy and you're not physically attracted to. Learn to be OK with this.

2) End the relationship and find someone you are phyiscally attracted to.

There really is no middle ground here unfortunately given your history.

Can a person be overweight and not be lazy? For example...Chris Christie. He is overweight, but he's also the Governor of New Jersey. It takes hard work to ascend to that spot and remain there. Do you think he is 'lazy'? I would suggest that laziness is not the root cause of all overweight people. Sure seems simplistic to just boil weight gain to laziness.

 

[General Malaise]

Ofdee, are you even married?

6.5 Best looking divorced FBG who wears rubber bands on his wrists and gives lousy fashion advice

 

[General Malaise]

I am one of only 3 males that work with 63 women and I can tell you that as a sex, women have terrible eating habits but yet complain about their weight. When that subject comes up I say nothing. "Diet" to them is impermanent, when it should be a lifestyle. They talk about losing weight for an event more than for themselves. They are a very odd being.

It seems some women have more fun complaining about weight than actually doing something that would make them look and feel better. Hey, you wanna lose weight? Stop sucking down that 400 calorie "coffee" drink everyday.

How come many women who consume copious amounts of diet cola are also overweight? I've always been curious about that.

 

[Wrighteous Ray]

It seems some women have more fun complaining about weight than actually doing something that would make them look and feel better. Hey, you wanna lose weight? Stop sucking down that 400 calorie "coffee" drink everyday.

How come many women who consume copious amounts of diet cola are also overweight? I've always been curious about that.

In my experience they just get their calories from other sources. I think there's some literature out there suggesting that artificial sweeteners actually make things worse by causing you to crave other food more.

 

[pats3in4]

I get that this is an outlet to flesh out ideas and others experience but at the end of the end of the day, these are the choices. Either your wife is a lazy sack, comfortable in her lifestyle or she's not. You can get fit, you can become more of a family leader, but if she doesn't want to change she won't. I would suggest trying to change the relationship dynamic (be the family leader, or up the Alpha as they say), get in shape and have outside interests for you, but she still has to carry her weight (no pun intended) if this is an issue for you (and for most men it is). When all that is done, it really then comes down to choice 1 or 2. Good luck fellas. And Pats3in4, if you're still following: Good on you for getting to that place with your own situation. I was hoping you'd find that path and reestablish the baseline.

Thanks. For the OP and others here, there's a lot more than weight issues going on. These wives are struggling with self-esteem issues or something else is bugging them that is affecting the marriage. These underlying issues must be addressed. I'm sure the posters dealing with these issues want to so much be there for their wives and help them in whatever means necessary; This is how I feel as well. However, the line between "whatever means necessary" and "unwittingly enabling your wife's self-destructive behavior for years on end" can be tough to gauge due to the emotional attachment to your wife. I think I'm getting a handle on where that line is drawn. I think we all need to if faced with such a situation.

 

[jwb]

This works two ways, though. It's not apples to apples (in other words, the man being trim and healthy may mean nothing to the woman.) Maybe she wants him to improve in a similar "lifestyle change" fashion, but maybe her change involves time with the family or money or not drinking or something else.

Yes, that may well be the case. I wasn't talking about him becoming trim in order to encourage her.

Yea, my bad - I didn't mean to imply you did. More just adding to the conversation than disagreeing or anything.

 

[jwb]

I get that this is an outlet to flesh out ideas and others experience but at the end of the end of the day, these are the choices. Either your wife is a lazy sack, comfortable in her lifestyle or she's not. You can get fit, you can become more of a family leader, but if she doesn't want to change she won't. I would suggest trying to change the relationship dynamic (be the family leader, or up the Alpha as they say), get in shape and have outside interests for you, but she still has to carry her weight (no pun intended) if this is an issue for you (and for most men it is). When all that is done, it really then comes down to choice 1 or 2. Good luck fellas. And Pats3in4, if you're still following: Good on you for getting to that place with your own situation. I was hoping you'd find that path and reestablish the baseline.

Thanks. For the OP and others here, there's a lot more than weight issues going on. These wives are struggling with self-esteem issues or something else is bugging them that is affecting the marriage. These underlying issues must be addressed. I'm sure the posters dealing with these issues want to so much be there for their wives and help them in whatever means necessary

The issue, whatever it is, is probably related to the man, and equal to the wieght problem the man has with his wife. I guess what I have been trying to say these last few posts is if you want your wife to change (lose weight), there is likely an equal lifestyle change that you are going to have to make. And it might not be weight related.

 

[offdee]

Ofdee, are you even married?

Divorced. But, this issue has nothing to do with being married, it can happen in a regular long term relationship that has become stagnant as well.If one of the partners feels "safe" than their motivation to keep up their sexual appeal to the other lowers.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

The best way to go about this is to improve yourself, make yourself more attractive to women and start gaining the attention of other women. When she sees this, she will be threatened to improve to keep up with your new appearance.

Well, I feel like a broken record, but this hasn't really been effective for me. Maybe it would work for other people.

And that goes back to idea of...if this doesn't work than you have one of two choices:1) Stay in the relationship and just understand this is how it will always be. You have a wife that is lazy and you're not physically attracted to. Learn to be OK with this.

2) End the relationship and find someone you are phyiscally attracted to.

There really is no middle ground here unfortunately given your history.

Can a person be overweight and not be lazy? For example...Chris Christie. He is overweight, but he's also the Governor of New Jersey. It takes hard work to ascend to that spot and remain there. Do you think he is 'lazy'? I would suggest that laziness is not the root cause of all overweight people. Sure seems simplistic to just boil weight gain to laziness.

Simply because a person is lazy in one area of life doesn't mean they're lazy in all areas of life. Yes, Christie is too lazy to lose the weight. Perhaps he's simply exhausted from spending so much energy in politics. But yes, I'd say he's lazy when it comes to his personal fitness.

 

[simey]

I am one of only 3 males that work with 63 women and I can tell you that as a sex, women have terrible eating habits but yet complain about their weight. When that subject comes up I say nothing. "Diet" to them is impermanent, when it should be a lifestyle. They talk about losing weight for an event more than for themselves. They are a very odd being.

It seems some women have more fun complaining about weight than actually doing something that would make them look and feel better. Hey, you wanna lose weight? Stop sucking down that 400 calorie "coffee" drink everyday.

How come many women who consume copious amounts of diet cola are also overweight? I've always been curious about that.

My BIL's best friend quit drinking diet pepsi, and lost 35 pounds in less than a year. He didn't change anything else in his diet or exercise differently.

 

[Da Guru]

The looking like their mother thing does have some merit. Fat mom..fat daughter.

 

[iamsmilin]

I am one of only 3 males that work with 63 women and I can tell you that as a sex, women have terrible eating habits but yet complain about their weight. When that subject comes up I say nothing. "Diet" to them is impermanent, when it should be a lifestyle. They talk about losing weight for an event more than for themselves. They are a very odd being.

It seems some women have more fun complaining about weight than actually doing something that would make them look and feel better. Hey, you wanna lose weight? Stop sucking down that 400 calorie "coffee" drink everyday.

How come many women who consume copious amounts of diet cola are also overweight? I've always been curious about that.

My BIL's best friend quit drinking diet pepsi, and lost 35 pounds in less than a year. He didn't change anything else in his diet or exercise differently.

It's another thing I do not get about women. You want a drink that is zero calories and helps in digestion and overall health? Try that clear thing, you know, water.

 

[Bull Dozier]

Favorite moment is when the rival tavern ties Woody up and has him hanging outside the bar door, his mouth covered with tape. They open it up and he's struggling against the ropes and trying to say something. They pull off the tape to find he's trying to say "don't rip off the tape!"

 

[Gr00vus]

Favorite moment is when the rival tavern ties Woody up and has him hanging outside the bar door, his mouth covered with tape. They open it up and he's struggling against the ropes and trying to say something. They pull off the tape to find he's trying to say "don't rip off the tape!"

So you're suggesting taping her mouth shut as a solution - interesting.

 

[Phlash]

The best way to go about this is to improve yourself, make yourself more attractive to women and start gaining the attention of other women. When she sees this, she will be threatened to improve to keep up with your new appearance.

Well, I feel like a broken record, but this hasn't really been effective for me. Maybe it would work for other people.

And that goes back to idea of...if this doesn't work than you have one of two choices:1) Stay in the relationship and just understand this is how it will always be. You have a wife that is lazy and you're not physically attracted to. Learn to be OK with this.

2) End the relationship and find someone you are phyiscally attracted to.

There really is no middle ground here unfortunately given your history.

Can a person be overweight and not be lazy? For example...Chris Christie. He is overweight, but he's also the Governor of New Jersey. It takes hard work to ascend to that spot and remain there. Do you think he is 'lazy'? I would suggest that laziness is not the root cause of all overweight people. Sure seems simplistic to just boil weight gain to laziness.

I hate to call it lazy - it's more of a lack of discipline. He probably doesn't understand how little effort is required to lose weight. In fact, you lose weight by NOT eating and exercising marginally. I mean, its amazing how much of a challenge it is for people to not shovel 2500 calories of food a day into their mouth and not run for 10 minutes. I mean, come on.That's all it is. Just get out and do it. 10 minutes a day, control what you eat. Learn some discipline.

 

[iamsmilin]

The best way to go about this is to improve yourself, make yourself more attractive to women and start gaining the attention of other women. When she sees this, she will be threatened to improve to keep up with your new appearance.

Well, I feel like a broken record, but this hasn't really been effective for me. Maybe it would work for other people.

And that goes back to idea of...if this doesn't work than you have one of two choices:1) Stay in the relationship and just understand this is how it will always be. You have a wife that is lazy and you're not physically attracted to. Learn to be OK with this.

2) End the relationship and find someone you are phyiscally attracted to.

There really is no middle ground here unfortunately given your history.

Can a person be overweight and not be lazy? For example...Chris Christie. He is overweight, but he's also the Governor of New Jersey. It takes hard work to ascend to that spot and remain there. Do you think he is 'lazy'? I would suggest that laziness is not the root cause of all overweight people. Sure seems simplistic to just boil weight gain to laziness.

I hate to call it lazy - it's more of a lack of discipline. He probably doesn't understand how little effort is required to lose weight. In fact, you lose weight by NOT eating and exercising marginally. I mean, its amazing how much of a challenge it is for people to not shovel 2500 calories of food a day into their mouth and not run for 10 minutes. I mean, come on.That's all it is. Just get out and do it. 10 minutes a day, control what you eat. Learn some discipline.

Even if you didn't excercise, just cutting DOWN calories will help you lose weight. That's it. Eat whatever you like, just know all of it.

 

[BuddyKnuckles]

my wife is now 2 months preggo and decided to take a "baby bump" pic b/c she thinks she is showing already

apparently she has been with child for the past 5 years but just now noticed

 

[iamsmilin]

my wife is now 2 months preggo and decided to take a "baby bump" pic b/c she thinks she is showing already apparently she has been with child for the past 5 years but just now noticed

 

[Standing Hampton]

I am one of only 3 males that work with 63 women and I can tell you that as a sex, women have terrible eating habits but yet complain about their weight. When that subject comes up I say nothing. "Diet" to them is impermanent, when it should be a lifestyle. They talk about losing weight for an event more than for themselves. They are a very odd being.

What sort of work do you do?

Teacher by day, coach by night.

 

[mr fancypants]

I am one of only 3 males that work with 63 women and I can tell you that as a sex, women have terrible eating habits but yet complain about their weight. When that subject comes up I say nothing. "Diet" to them is impermanent, when it should be a lifestyle. They talk about losing weight for an event more than for themselves. They are a very odd being.

It seems some women have more fun complaining about weight than actually doing something that would make them look and feel better. Hey, you wanna lose weight? Stop sucking down that 400 calorie "coffee" drink everyday.

How come many women who consume copious amounts of diet cola are also overweight? I've always been curious about that.

My BIL's best friend quit drinking diet pepsi, and lost 35 pounds in less than a year. He didn't change anything else in his diet or exercise differently.

It's another thing I do not get about women. You want a drink that is zero calories and helps in digestion and overall health? Try that clear thing, you know, water.

I'm beginning to think we need to clone you and send your duplicates to distressed FBG's

 

[17seconds]

I am one of only 3 males that work with 63 women and I can tell you that as a sex, women have terrible eating habits but yet complain about their weight. When that subject comes up I say nothing. "Diet" to them is impermanent, when it should be a lifestyle. They talk about losing weight for an event more than for themselves. They are a very odd being.

It seems some women have more fun complaining about weight than actually doing something that would make them look and feel better. Hey, you wanna lose weight? Stop sucking down that 400 calorie "coffee" drink everyday.

How come many women who consume copious amounts of diet cola are also overweight? I've always been curious about that.

My BIL's best friend quit drinking diet pepsi, and lost 35 pounds in less than a year. He didn't change anything else in his diet or exercise differently.

It's another thing I do not get about women. You want a drink that is zero calories and helps in digestion and overall health? Try that clear thing, you know, water.

I'm beginning to think we need to clone you and send your duplicates to distressed FBG's

My wife would make the exact same statement and is in complete denial about all the crap she eats.My wife isn't fat but she could lose 20lbs. She complains that it's her thyroid or she has some strange water retention condition. Meanwhile she bakes cookies and pies for no special reason, eats ice cream almost every night, and gets super deluxe nachos all the time.

 

[17seconds]

In case she just hasn't found the right weight-loss plan that will motivate her, I recommend MyFitnessPal: free, portable (iphone/droid app), and it teaches you good habits that last forever.

Lost almost 20 pounds since August using this. I'm lazy so no real exercise, but just monitoring calorie intake has kept me from sitting down in front of the TV and eating a dozen mini chocolate bars.

That is not lazy. Calorie intake is the hardest thing and most effective thing to do. I ran 50 miles a week almost every week for the last year and didn't lose a pound. 2 years ago I lost 20lbs just reducing calories for a couple of months and did occasional running.

 

[Zegras11]

The best way to go about this is to improve yourself, make yourself more attractive to women and start gaining the attention of other women. When she sees this, she will be threatened to improve to keep up with your new appearance.

Well, I feel like a broken record, but this hasn't really been effective for me. Maybe it would work for other people.

And that goes back to idea of...if this doesn't work than you have one of two choices:1) Stay in the relationship and just understand this is how it will always be. You have a wife that is lazy and you're not physically attracted to. Learn to be OK with this.

2) End the relationship and find someone you are phyiscally attracted to.

There really is no middle ground here unfortunately given your history.

Can a person be overweight and not be lazy? For example...Chris Christie. He is overweight, but he's also the Governor of New Jersey. It takes hard work to ascend to that spot and remain there. Do you think he is 'lazy'? I would suggest that laziness is not the root cause of all overweight people. Sure seems simplistic to just boil weight gain to laziness.

I hate to call it lazy - it's more of a lack of discipline. He probably doesn't understand how little effort is required to lose weight. In fact, you lose weight by NOT eating and exercising marginally. I mean, its amazing how much of a challenge it is for people to not shovel 2500 calories of food a day into their mouth and not run for 10 minutes. I mean, come on.That's all it is. Just get out and do it. 10 minutes a day, control what you eat. Learn some discipline.

Even if you didn't excercise, just cutting DOWN calories will help you lose weight. That's it. Eat whatever you like, just know all of it.

I've lost 27 lbs in 50 days by cutting my calories 50-60% and eating a tiny bit every 2 hours.

 

[Tick]

I can't remember the early days of the thread, or if it's been mentioned, but do you guys go to church? There's some counseling about the body being a temple and respecting God by taking care of the stuff he gave you that could be motivating if it's something that means anything to you. You could talk it over with your pastor and see what his thoughts are.

 

[offdee]

I can't remember the early days of the thread, or if it's been mentioned, but do you guys go to church? There's some counseling about the body being a temple and respecting God by taking care of the stuff he gave you that could be motivating if it's something that means anything to you. You could talk it over with your pastor and see what his thoughts are.

 

[kutta]

I just want to jump back in and say that things can change. My wife is living proof.

I mentioned earlier that one day something clicked in her head and she became dedicated to losing her weight. She lost 50 lbs. in about a year, and is now down to 120 lbs. and looks great. She was overweight for 10 years and was diagnosed with diabetes 8 years ago. That wasn't even enough to get her to lose the weight. It took something else, and I'm still not sure what that was.

But I never threatened to leave or divorce her, so it definitely wasn't that.

 

[Dr. Awesome]

I can't remember the early days of the thread, or if it's been mentioned, but do you guys go to church? There's some counseling about the body being a temple and respecting God by taking care of the stuff he gave you that could be motivating if it's something that means anything to you. You could talk it over with your pastor and see what his thoughts are.

What's so funny? If you're the type who does go to church and put a lot of stock in your religion, this would definitely be a smart angle to try.

 

[MAC_32]

My wife is gorgeous - 5 foot nothin', hundred and nothin' but I was very encouraged this year when she said she wanted to do couch to 5k because while she looks great she never considered herself in good shape - correctly. Whenever 'it' catches up to her I think she'll beat it. Keeper.

 

[Keerock]

my wife is now 2 months preggo and decided to take a "baby bump" pic b/c she thinks she is showing already apparently she has been with child for the past 5 years but just now noticed

Late entry POTY candidate.

 

[Wrighteous Ray]

my wife is now 2 months preggo

Oof.

 

[offdee]

I can't remember the early days of the thread, or if it's been mentioned, but do you guys go to church? There's some counseling about the body being a temple and respecting God by taking care of the stuff he gave you that could be motivating if it's something that means anything to you. You could talk it over with your pastor and see what his thoughts are.

What's so funny? If you're the type who does go to church and put a lot of stock in your religion, this would definitely be a smart angle to try.

Ok then. This angle may work on about 0.2% of the female population.

 

[GStrot]

not always true. My MIL is a cougar by every definition but has 3 overweight (yet beautiful) daughters)

Interesting.

: a large powerful tawny-brown cat (Felis concolor) formerly widespread in the Americas but now reduced in number or extinct in many areas —called also catamount, mountain lion, panther, puma

 

[Apple Jack]

Sell the cars and move to a fifth floor walk up in NYC. She'll drop the weight like a ham off the chrysler building.

 

[Smarge]

I just want to jump back in and say that things can change. My wife is living proof.I mentioned earlier that one day something clicked in her head and she became dedicated to losing her weight. She lost 50 lbs. in about a year, and is now down to 120 lbs. and looks great. She was overweight for 10 years and was diagnosed with diabetes 8 years ago. That wasn't even enough to get her to lose the weight. It took something else, and I'm still not sure what that was.But I never threatened to leave or divorce her, so it definitely wasn't that.

Have you ever talked about what changed, or did you just keep your mouth shut and thank your lucky stars? I may very well have done the latter in your shoes, best not to create imbalance that takes her back off the right path. Just curious what her trigger was --- I'm sure it's different for everyone.

 

[Bull Dozier]

Favorite moment is when the rival tavern ties Woody up and has him hanging outside the bar door, his mouth covered with tape. They open it up and he's struggling against the ropes and trying to say something. They pull off the tape to find he's trying to say "don't rip off the tape!"

So you're suggesting taping her mouth shut as a solution - interesting.

Well, that's a first for me...reply to a thread showing up in the wrong thread. Explains why the Cheers thread wasn't blackdotted today when I went back to it.Just to keep it on subject, my wife falls into the camp of being slightly overweight but blaming it on her thyroid. She's finally got her thyroid medicine right, and what do you know, the pounds aren't dropping like crazy. She does work out 4-5 days a week (teaches aerobics type classes and runs), but she also eats constantly and eats crap.

 

[NJDawgPound]

My wife is gorgeous - 5 foot nothin', hundred and nothin'

Tell Rudy I said hi.

 

[glock]

I just want to jump back in and say that things can change. My wife is living proof.I mentioned earlier that one day something clicked in her head and she became dedicated to losing her weight. She lost 50 lbs. in about a year, and is now down to 120 lbs. and looks great. She was overweight for 10 years and was diagnosed with diabetes 8 years ago. That wasn't even enough to get her to lose the weight. It took something else, and I'm still not sure what that was.But I never threatened to leave or divorce her, so it definitely wasn't that.

Have you asked her??

 

[MAC_32]

My wife is gorgeous - 5 foot nothin', hundred and nothin'

Tell Rudy I said hi.

Die hard ND fan, she loves it when I pull that line. Still haven't made it through the film dry eyed.

 

[17seconds]

The best way to go about this is to improve yourself, make yourself more attractive to women and start gaining the attention of other women. When she sees this, she will be threatened to improve to keep up with your new appearance.

Well, I feel like a broken record, but this hasn't really been effective for me. Maybe it would work for other people.

And that goes back to idea of...if this doesn't work than you have one of two choices:1) Stay in the relationship and just understand this is how it will always be. You have a wife that is lazy and you're not physically attracted to. Learn to be OK with this.

2) End the relationship and find someone you are phyiscally attracted to.

There really is no middle ground here unfortunately given your history.

Can a person be overweight and not be lazy? For example...Chris Christie. He is overweight, but he's also the Governor of New Jersey. It takes hard work to ascend to that spot and remain there. Do you think he is 'lazy'? I would suggest that laziness is not the root cause of all overweight people. Sure seems simplistic to just boil weight gain to laziness.

I hate to call it lazy - it's more of a lack of discipline. He probably doesn't understand how little effort is required to lose weight. In fact, you lose weight by NOT eating and exercising marginally. I mean, its amazing how much of a challenge it is for people to not shovel 2500 calories of food a day into their mouth and not run for 10 minutes. I mean, come on.That's all it is. Just get out and do it. 10 minutes a day, control what you eat. Learn some discipline.

Even if you didn't excercise, just cutting DOWN calories will help you lose weight. That's it. Eat whatever you like, just know all of it.

I've lost 27 lbs in 50 days by cutting my calories 50-60% and eating a tiny bit every 2 hours.

The key to losing weight is ABHAlways

Be

Hungry

Don't starve yourself but make sure you always feel hungry and you'll lose weight whether you exercise or not.

 

[LongDuckDong]

I'd just say don't threaten anything unless you're going to do something. I don't see a threat that works here anyways, but I wouldn't threaten leaving or anything resembling it unless you actually would do so.

 

[Standing Hampton]

my wife is now 2 months preggo and decided to take a "baby bump" pic b/c she thinks she is showing already apparently she has been with child for the past 5 years but just now noticed

So, you think she could lose a few, but yet she's preggo. Care to explain?

 

[BuddyKnuckles]

my wife is now 2 months preggo and decided to take a "baby bump" pic b/c she thinks she is showing already

apparently she has been with child for the past 5 years but just now noticed

So, you think she could lose a few, but yet she's preggo. Care to explain?

please see bolded.

 

[kutta]

I just want to jump back in and say that things can change. My wife is living proof.I mentioned earlier that one day something clicked in her head and she became dedicated to losing her weight. She lost 50 lbs. in about a year, and is now down to 120 lbs. and looks great. She was overweight for 10 years and was diagnosed with diabetes 8 years ago. That wasn't even enough to get her to lose the weight. It took something else, and I'm still not sure what that was.But I never threatened to leave or divorce her, so it definitely wasn't that.

Have you asked her??

She doesn't even know. She knew for a long time that she needed to drop the pounds, especially with the diabetes. She finally just decided to get serious about it. There really wasn't a catalyst, it was just her waking up.She had tried a lot of different programs, but Jenny Craig is what did it for her. She stuck to it and dropped the pounds pretty quickly. She really learned portion control, and has been able to keep the weight off for two years now.

 

[Tick]

Update?