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Odd or normal behavior? 8/21/15 (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Arizona Ron
- Start date
cstu
Footballguy
fantasycurse42
Footballguy Jr.
Tell me more about the Tommy John underwear... Is this brand named after the pitcher?
Johnny Rock
Footballguy
Special support for those who have had rotator cuff surgery. Elite group; elite price.
Grace Under Pressure
Footballguy
That's amazingly twisted. Chick sounds hot though.
DocHolliday
Footballguy
DocHolliday
Footballguy
I think we are low on his list of priorities and rightly so. He has a lot of tail to bang.
His life is not like yours or mine. While we are deciding what to have for dinner or if we want to bother washing the car, he is deciding which broad he is banging or picking up to add to the harem.
saintfool
Dead sexy
Apologies to AR, but I rate him according to what he does for me. Not him or random broads.
shadyridr
Footballguy
dparker713
Footballguy
Arizona Ron
Footballguy
A few days ago, it’s hot day as hell; I spent the early part of the day at Top Golf in Alexandria with some old clients/now friends and decided just head home around 3. I stop by the same bar on my way home. It’s early, about 5pm; the bartender is setting up – I’m the only customer in the bar.
The bartender is the same one that worked the night the chick in the OP talked about helping her son put a condom on. I know the bartender by name, ‘Janice’, early-40s meh, super straight-shooting career bartender. I ask her, reluctantly, “did you hear woman talking about putting a condom on her kid last week?” (I say it while holding back a laugh, smiling with the “could you believe that” kinda look).
She didn’t smile, she explains that the woman’s son is autistic (my smile is gone and I’m immediately mortified) – The bartender goes on empathetically explaining the strides of the woman working with her son from being behind in school, socially awkward to having a girlfriend and slowly fitting in at high school (bartender’s know everyone’s business). She rehashes some of what I heard the woman talking about, single mom making ends meet, etc. She tells me the woman struggled with drugs, lost her kids and got them back after getting off drugs and getting away from her abusive husband.
Me (silent pause…then I say): “I’m sorry”
Bartender: “Why are you sorry, you didn’t know? It’s the weirdest ####### thing I’ve ever heard (give me this ‘duh’ look); if I didn’t know the woman I would have called child services or something”.
Me: “I feel like should apologies for my ignorance”
Bartender: “Tell you what, why don’t you buy her a drink - she just pulled up”.
Me: (I turn around and look out the window, I see an old Rav 4 pulling up), “I’ll take another one and set her up on me”.
She walks in, same work outfit, disheveled and looking around to figure out where to sit. She recognizes her drink prepared but pauses since it’s in the seat right next to me in an empty bar. The Bartender, Janice, say, “Barb, this gentleman says the first one is on him”.
Barbara: (almost what I would consider, uncomfortably loud) “Well thank you! That was very nice of you. That’s the first nice thing that’s happened all day!!!” (she goes on for about 10 minutes describing how crappy her day was – I’m trying to act like I give a #### while wincing from her choice of volume). “I’ve seen you around a few times, always looking so professional, are you off today?” (looking at my shorts and casual apparel).
Me: “Hi, my name is Arizona, my friends call me Ron. To answer your question, I didn’t go in the office today. I met a few friends down at a driving range and decided to go with boat shoes, plaid shorts, white tee and complimenting unbuttoned over-the-shoulder Mr. Porter silk shirt”.
Barbara: “Well I still feel under-dressed” (laughs wildly...still loud). “My daughter is stopping in to join me, (she looks saying to the bartender), things are tight so we’re only going to have one or two”.
Me: (still feeling like I owed her an apology even though I never did anything to her or offended her directly – I say), “Don’t worry, while I’m here it’s on me. I love your conversation so please continue."
Barbara: (overacting – way over the top) wow, well look at this. Slowdown slick! or I’ll let my hair down, haha (again in this 40+ year old chick way of jokingly, ‘being sexy but knowing she isn’t’ – not sure if that even makes sense but you know it when you see it).
I play along, why not. I just wanted a drink, now I have some conversation and I feel like I made someone’s day.
Barbara: “There’s my pride and joy!” (as another woman walks in)
The bartender starts to make a drink, I say “that’s on me”. Barbara, (to her daughter) “this nice man is trying to show me a good time, (loud awkward uncomfortable laugh). I get introduced to Barbara’s daughter; 23, no kids, (and a face that says, "I have issues") - many flaws but still a much more bang-able version of Barbara.
I didn't stay long, I told the bartender to keep it on my tab even after leaving as long as they didn't get too wild.
I did my good deed for the day.
The bartender is the same one that worked the night the chick in the OP talked about helping her son put a condom on. I know the bartender by name, ‘Janice’, early-40s meh, super straight-shooting career bartender. I ask her, reluctantly, “did you hear woman talking about putting a condom on her kid last week?” (I say it while holding back a laugh, smiling with the “could you believe that” kinda look).
She didn’t smile, she explains that the woman’s son is autistic (my smile is gone and I’m immediately mortified) – The bartender goes on empathetically explaining the strides of the woman working with her son from being behind in school, socially awkward to having a girlfriend and slowly fitting in at high school (bartender’s know everyone’s business). She rehashes some of what I heard the woman talking about, single mom making ends meet, etc. She tells me the woman struggled with drugs, lost her kids and got them back after getting off drugs and getting away from her abusive husband.
Me (silent pause…then I say): “I’m sorry”
Bartender: “Why are you sorry, you didn’t know? It’s the weirdest ####### thing I’ve ever heard (give me this ‘duh’ look); if I didn’t know the woman I would have called child services or something”.
Me: “I feel like should apologies for my ignorance”
Bartender: “Tell you what, why don’t you buy her a drink - she just pulled up”.
Me: (I turn around and look out the window, I see an old Rav 4 pulling up), “I’ll take another one and set her up on me”.
She walks in, same work outfit, disheveled and looking around to figure out where to sit. She recognizes her drink prepared but pauses since it’s in the seat right next to me in an empty bar. The Bartender, Janice, say, “Barb, this gentleman says the first one is on him”.
Barbara: (almost what I would consider, uncomfortably loud) “Well thank you! That was very nice of you. That’s the first nice thing that’s happened all day!!!” (she goes on for about 10 minutes describing how crappy her day was – I’m trying to act like I give a #### while wincing from her choice of volume). “I’ve seen you around a few times, always looking so professional, are you off today?” (looking at my shorts and casual apparel).
Me: “Hi, my name is Arizona, my friends call me Ron. To answer your question, I didn’t go in the office today. I met a few friends down at a driving range and decided to go with boat shoes, plaid shorts, white tee and complimenting unbuttoned over-the-shoulder Mr. Porter silk shirt”.
Barbara: “Well I still feel under-dressed” (laughs wildly...still loud). “My daughter is stopping in to join me, (she looks saying to the bartender), things are tight so we’re only going to have one or two”.
Me: (still feeling like I owed her an apology even though I never did anything to her or offended her directly – I say), “Don’t worry, while I’m here it’s on me. I love your conversation so please continue."
Barbara: (overacting – way over the top) wow, well look at this. Slowdown slick! or I’ll let my hair down, haha (again in this 40+ year old chick way of jokingly, ‘being sexy but knowing she isn’t’ – not sure if that even makes sense but you know it when you see it).
I play along, why not. I just wanted a drink, now I have some conversation and I feel like I made someone’s day.
Barbara: “There’s my pride and joy!” (as another woman walks in)
The bartender starts to make a drink, I say “that’s on me”. Barbara, (to her daughter) “this nice man is trying to show me a good time, (loud awkward uncomfortable laugh). I get introduced to Barbara’s daughter; 23, no kids, (and a face that says, "I have issues") - many flaws but still a much more bang-able version of Barbara.
I didn't stay long, I told the bartender to keep it on my tab even after leaving as long as they didn't get too wild.
I did my good deed for the day.
Last edited by a moderator:
Officer Pete Malloy
Footballguy
Dan Lambskin
Footballguy
Pretty sure this ends with Ron getting a Sportsmans Double
El Floppo
Footballguy
AAABatteries
Footballguy
Wait, should you be D.C. Ron now? Or Arizona Ron Fan? Or Artist Formerly Known as Arizona Ron?
AAABatteries
Footballguy
You even explain to people you are sitting right in front of what you are wearing in fine detail
Fennis
Footballguy
Van Dyman
Footballguy
I didn't know Ron was on the autism spectrum. I feel like should apologies for my ignorance.Um... Ron is on the autism spectrum as well.AAABatteries said:shadyridr said:You even explain to people you are sitting right in front of what you are wearing in fine detail
I'm sure you guys just weren't aware of that. Maybe you should buy him a drink.
El Floppo
Footballguy
D-Day
Footballguy
Or at least teach him how to use a condom (Trojan ultra thin lubricated with the special reservoir end - for extra safety. You may not know this by looking at it, but it is 25% thinner than regular condoms. Also comes in various colors)I didn't know Ron was on the autism spectrum. I feel like should apologies for my ignorance.Um... Ron is on the autism spectrum as well.I'm sure you guys just weren't aware of that. Maybe you should buy him a drink.AAABatteries said:shadyridr said:You even explain to people you are sitting right in front of what you are wearing in fine detail
ILUVBEER99
Footballguy
SIDA!
Footballguy
Mr. Pickles
Footballguy
Still managed to finish.
coyote5
Footballguy
cstu
Footballguy
The Kerminator
Footballguy
fantasycurse42
Footballguy Jr.
The character Arizona Ron is a buddy of Notorious B.I.G. You can find the lyrics describing him in the song "#####s bleed".
ETA: N word ending with a
Last edited by a moderator:
fantasycurse42
Footballguy Jr.
Big fan of it too.El Floppo said:
In The Zone
Footballguy
dparker713
Footballguy
Hot Diggity Dog
Footballguy
Normal.
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