ESPNs near-weekly Yankees-Red Sox Late Sunday Night Game is eager for you to know its announcers, Dan Shulman and John Kruk, will call it from above Fenways Green Monster.
Why?
Because such innovations, no matter how counter-productive or silly, are deemed innovative, thus easily confused by the easily confused with bold, experimental, Mr. Watson, come here! genius.
Im gonna take a wild guess here to suggest if the vicinity of the Green Monster is the best place from which to call a game the best spot from which to best serve viewers that would have been known a long time ago. Fenway, built in 1912, predates TV.
Perhaps it escapes ESPN, but theres a reason seats just above and behind home plate cost more than those in the bleachers.
Another wild guess: Try as ESPN might, will having Shulman and Kruk call the game from about as far away from the pitcher and catcher as one can be while still inside Fenway, make the difference between you watching and not watching? Im going with No.
Another question: Will Shulman and Kruks workplace better provide you a chance to still be awake by, say, the seventh or eighth? Doubtful, but well find out.
Will these distant perspectives help hold the audience if the games one-sided? Or will they detract and distract from a good ballgame?
The answer to those questions is ESPN, if it ever considered them, couldnt care less.
ESPNs standard regard for the games it televises and the genuine sports fans within its audiences can be scored no higher than my high school algebra final. I scored a See me.
If ESPN wanted to add some enhancement by providing visual perspectives from the Green Monster and you can call me crazy why not place a TV camera there, as opposed to its broadcast crew?
Its TV; you dont have to tell us when you can show us. Besides, most of us have seen that view before.
Why not have ESPNs guys call a game from a blimp? Perhaps a New Orleans Saints home game.
But thats the difference between silly then, and silly now. Silly used to be accidental; it would cause its purveyors to feel foolish. Now, silly, ridiculous and just plain stupid are a big part of the grand plan.
So dont miss ESPN on Sunday night, when two East Coast teams play a game West Coasters will have the best shot to watch in its entirety, and when its game announcers will have a better view of the street than the game.