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***Official 2025 Pro Cycling Thread*** - Come Dope with Us - This week Polish Drugs! (9 Viewers)

Romeo in the lead by 15.66; Plapp was 9 seconds better at Timing Point 3

Oh wow….Plapp fades in the final sector and finishes 15.02 behind the young Spanish National champ

Those 2 should be the 1-2 until Affini finishes around 8:25
 

🔥 Stage 5 TT Velogames — Ranked & Roasted

RankTeamEst. PointsComments
1Cheesypoof1102The TT dream team with Evenepoel and Pogačar strapped on rocket boosters. Everyone else is just chasing their dust — bring sunglasses!
2Da Raiders1086Featuring the dynamic duo of Evenepoel and Pogačar, this team’s gonna turn the TT into a demolition derby. The rest? They might as well be on tricycles.
3Bain and Company1068Roglič, Evenepoel, Vingegaard — basically the Avengers of TT. Everyone else looks like they showed up to a gunfight with a butterknife.
4Nick Vermeil1024Loaded with top guns, but Van Der Poel’s “maybe I care” vibe could cost them. Their weaker riders will be waving the white flag halfway through.
5Forzashels996Van Aert + Pogačar? If he’s not napping, they’re dangerous. Otherwise, their mid-packers will be begging for a tailwind and some mercy.
6Sand990Decent depth but mostly climbers trying to figure out why they’re pedaling so hard without a mountain in sight. Expect some sputtering.
7Corporation950Half their team looks like they bike uphill for fun. This TT might be their first time pedaling straight — send help!
8Sammy928Pogačar and Almeida are carrying a bunch of slowpokes who will be Googling “how to draft invisible pelotons” on their phones.
9ChemX896Affini’s their only hope. The rest? They’ll be riding so slow, roadside fans will start offering them snacks just to keep moving.
10Ultimate A$$-whooping Ensemble870Great name, terrible TT team. Mostly climbers who think aero helmets are a fashion statement. Spoiler: they’re not.
11BrettDJ838Jorgenson and Jungels can TT, but the rest look like they’d struggle to keep up on a stationary bike. Somebody get these guys a scooter!
12ChatGPT Trained by BassNBrew822Pogačar and Roglič try to drag this cast of slowpokes, but they’ll be outpaced by race marshals handing out cones.

🔥 Commentary



  • Cheesypoof will rocket ahead with a TT lineup so sharp it could cut glass. The others? They’ll just be catching flies in the wind.

  • Da Raiders might actually set a pace so fast, some riders will be petitioning to rename the stage “The Chase for Sanity.”

  • Bain and Company basically brought the nuclear option; the rest might as well have stayed home and watched it on TV.

  • Nick Vermeil's squad will have a wildcard energy drink… and a bunch of riders looking like they forgot how to pedal efficiently.

  • Forzashels is a tale of two teams: elite TT stars and their unfortunate teammates who are gonna learn the hard way what "flat" means.

  • Sand and Corporation should probably carry a sag wagon just in case their riders’ legs give out from sheer confusion.

  • Sammy will have two riders in the top 10 and a parade of slowpokes trailing behind like a bad soap opera.

  • ChemX will need roadside assistance — or maybe just a good podcast to pass the time while watching the clock tick by.

  • Ultimate A$$-whooping Ensemble sounds like they came for a BBQ, not a race. Hope they brought the potato salad, ‘cause they won’t be winning anything here.

  • BrettDJ — it’s like watching a group of cyclists who accidentally showed up to a car race. They’ll need some serious “go faster” lessons.

  • And ChatGPT Trained by BassNBrew… well, Pogačar and Roglič can’t carry that many dead weights without their bikes turning into coffins.
:oldunsure:
 
Affini blows

🔥 Stage 5 TT Velogames — Ranked & Roasted

RankTeamEst. PointsComments
1Cheesypoof1102The TT dream team with Evenepoel and Pogačar strapped on rocket boosters. Everyone else is just chasing their dust — bring sunglasses!
2Da Raiders1086Featuring the dynamic duo of Evenepoel and Pogačar, this team’s gonna turn the TT into a demolition derby. The rest? They might as well be on tricycles.
3Bain and Company1068Roglič, Evenepoel, Vingegaard — basically the Avengers of TT. Everyone else looks like they showed up to a gunfight with a butterknife.
4Nick Vermeil1024Loaded with top guns, but Van Der Poel’s “maybe I care” vibe could cost them. Their weaker riders will be waving the white flag halfway through.
5Forzashels996Van Aert + Pogačar? If he’s not napping, they’re dangerous. Otherwise, their mid-packers will be begging for a tailwind and some mercy.
6Sand990Decent depth but mostly climbers trying to figure out why they’re pedaling so hard without a mountain in sight. Expect some sputtering.
7Corporation950Half their team looks like they bike uphill for fun. This TT might be their first time pedaling straight — send help!
8Sammy928Pogačar and Almeida are carrying a bunch of slowpokes who will be Googling “how to draft invisible pelotons” on their phones.
9ChemX896Affini’s their only hope. The rest? They’ll be riding so slow, roadside fans will start offering them snacks just to keep moving.
10Ultimate A$$-whooping Ensemble870Great name, terrible TT team. Mostly climbers who think aero helmets are a fashion statement. Spoiler: they’re not.
11BrettDJ838Jorgenson and Jungels can TT, but the rest look like they’d struggle to keep up on a stationary bike. Somebody get these guys a scooter!
12ChatGPT Trained by BassNBrew822Pogačar and Roglič try to drag this cast of slowpokes, but they’ll be outpaced by race marshals handing out cones.

🔥 Commentary



  • Cheesypoof will rocket ahead with a TT lineup so sharp it could cut glass. The others? They’ll just be catching flies in the wind.

  • Da Raiders might actually set a pace so fast, some riders will be petitioning to rename the stage “The Chase for Sanity.”

  • Bain and Company basically brought the nuclear option; the rest might as well have stayed home and watched it on TV.

  • Nick Vermeil's squad will have a wildcard energy drink… and a bunch of riders looking like they forgot how to pedal efficiently.

  • Forzashels is a tale of two teams: elite TT stars and their unfortunate teammates who are gonna learn the hard way what "flat" means.

  • Sand and Corporation should probably carry a sag wagon just in case their riders’ legs give out from sheer confusion.

  • Sammy will have two riders in the top 10 and a parade of slowpokes trailing behind like a bad soap opera.

  • ChemX will need roadside assistance — or maybe just a good podcast to pass the time while watching the clock tick by.

  • Ultimate A$$-whooping Ensemble sounds like they came for a BBQ, not a race. Hope they brought the potato salad, ‘cause they won’t be winning anything here.

  • BrettDJ — it’s like watching a group of cyclists who accidentally showed up to a car race. They’ll need some serious “go faster” lessons.

  • And ChatGPT Trained by BassNBrew… well, Pogačar and Roglič can’t carry that many dead weights without their bikes turning into coffins.
:oldunsure:

apparently we don’t exist
 
Sorry @BobbyLayne

🔥 Stage 5 Flat TT Velogames — Ranked & Roasted

RankTeamEst. PointsCommentary
1Cheesypoof1102The TT dream team with Evenepoel and Pogačar strapped on rocket boosters. Everyone else is just chasing their dust — bring sunglasses!
2Da Raiders1086Featuring the dynamic duo of Evenepoel and Pogačar, this team’s gonna turn the TT into a demolition derby. The rest? They might as well be on tricycles.
3Bain and Company1068Roglič, Evenepoel, Vingegaard — basically the Avengers of TT. Everyone else looks like they showed up to a gunfight with a butterknife.
4Nick Vermeil1024Loaded with top guns, but Van Der Poel’s “maybe I care” vibe could cost them. Their weaker riders will be waving the white flag halfway through.
5Forzashels996Van Aert + Pogačar? If he’s not napping, they’re dangerous. Otherwise, their mid-packers will be begging for a tailwind and some mercy.
6Sand990Decent depth but mostly climbers trying to figure out why they’re pedaling so hard without a mountain in sight. Expect some sputtering.
7Corporation950Half their team looks like they bike uphill for fun. This TT might be their first time pedaling straight — send help!
8Sammy928Pogačar and Almeida are carrying a bunch of slowpokes who will be Googling “how to draft invisible pelotons” on their phones.
9ChemX896Affini’s their only hope. The rest? They’ll be riding so slow, roadside fans will start offering them snacks just to keep moving.
10BobbyLayne880Evenepoel and Vingegaard were a strong start… and then the wheels fell off. Literally. It’s like they drafted their last 6 riders by drawing names out of a helmet at karaoke night.
11Ultimate A$$-whooping Ensemble870Great name, terrible TT team. Mostly climbers who think aero helmets are a fashion statement. Spoiler: they’re not.
12BrettDJ838Jorgenson and Jungels can TT, but the rest look like they’d struggle to keep up on a stationary bike. Somebody get these guys a scooter!
13ChatGPT Trained by BassNBrew822Pogačar and Roglič try to drag this cast of slowpokes, but they’ll be outpaced by race marshals handing out cones.

🔥 Commentary

Cheesypoof will rocket ahead with a TT lineup so sharp it could cut glass. The others? They’ll just be catching flies in the wind.
Da Raiders might actually set a pace so fast, some riders will be petitioning to rename the stage “The Chase for Sanity.”
Bain and Company basically brought the nuclear option; the rest might as well have stayed home and watched it on TV.
Nick Vermeil's squad will have a wildcard energy drink… and a bunch of riders looking like they forgot how to pedal efficiently.
Forzashels is a tale of two teams: elite TT stars and their unfortunate teammates who are gonna learn the hard way what "flat" means.
Sand and Corporation should probably carry a sag wagon just in case their riders’ legs give out from sheer confusion.
Sammy will have two riders in the top 10 and a parade of slowpokes trailing behind like a bad soap opera.
ChemX will need roadside assistance — or maybe just a good podcast to pass the time while watching the clock tick by.
BobbyLayne started off hot with Evenepoel and Vingegaard, but then it was like they picked their next six riders from a local coffee shop’s open mic night. No speed, just vibes.
Ultimate A$$-whooping Ensemble sounds like they came for a BBQ, not a race. Hope they brought the potato salad, ‘cause they won’t be winning anything here.
BrettDJ — it’s like watching a group of cyclists who accidentally showed up to a car race. They’ll need some serious “go faster” lessons.

And ChatGPT Trained by BassNBrew… well, Pogačar and Roglič can’t carry that many dead weights without their bikes turning into coffins.
 
Sorry @BobbyLayne

🔥 Stage 5 Flat TT Velogames — Ranked & Roasted

RankTeamEst. PointsCommentary
1Cheesypoof1102The TT dream team with Evenepoel and Pogačar strapped on rocket boosters. Everyone else is just chasing their dust — bring sunglasses!
2Da Raiders1086Featuring the dynamic duo of Evenepoel and Pogačar, this team’s gonna turn the TT into a demolition derby. The rest? They might as well be on tricycles.
3Bain and Company1068Roglič, Evenepoel, Vingegaard — basically the Avengers of TT. Everyone else looks like they showed up to a gunfight with a butterknife.
4Nick Vermeil1024Loaded with top guns, but Van Der Poel’s “maybe I care” vibe could cost them. Their weaker riders will be waving the white flag halfway through.
5Forzashels996Van Aert + Pogačar? If he’s not napping, they’re dangerous. Otherwise, their mid-packers will be begging for a tailwind and some mercy.
6Sand990Decent depth but mostly climbers trying to figure out why they’re pedaling so hard without a mountain in sight. Expect some sputtering.
7Corporation950Half their team looks like they bike uphill for fun. This TT might be their first time pedaling straight — send help!
8Sammy928Pogačar and Almeida are carrying a bunch of slowpokes who will be Googling “how to draft invisible pelotons” on their phones.
9ChemX896Affini’s their only hope. The rest? They’ll be riding so slow, roadside fans will start offering them snacks just to keep moving.
10BobbyLayne880Evenepoel and Vingegaard were a strong start… and then the wheels fell off. Literally. It’s like they drafted their last 6 riders by drawing names out of a helmet at karaoke night.
11Ultimate A$$-whooping Ensemble870Great name, terrible TT team. Mostly climbers who think aero helmets are a fashion statement. Spoiler: they’re not.
12BrettDJ838Jorgenson and Jungels can TT, but the rest look like they’d struggle to keep up on a stationary bike. Somebody get these guys a scooter!
13ChatGPT Trained by BassNBrew822Pogačar and Roglič try to drag this cast of slowpokes, but they’ll be outpaced by race marshals handing out cones.

🔥 Commentary

Cheesypoof will rocket ahead with a TT lineup so sharp it could cut glass. The others? They’ll just be catching flies in the wind.
Da Raiders might actually set a pace so fast, some riders will be petitioning to rename the stage “The Chase for Sanity.”
Bain and Company basically brought the nuclear option; the rest might as well have stayed home and watched it on TV.
Nick Vermeil's squad will have a wildcard energy drink… and a bunch of riders looking like they forgot how to pedal efficiently.
Forzashels is a tale of two teams: elite TT stars and their unfortunate teammates who are gonna learn the hard way what "flat" means.
Sand and Corporation should probably carry a sag wagon just in case their riders’ legs give out from sheer confusion.
Sammy will have two riders in the top 10 and a parade of slowpokes trailing behind like a bad soap opera.
ChemX will need roadside assistance — or maybe just a good podcast to pass the time while watching the clock tick by.
BobbyLayne started off hot with Evenepoel and Vingegaard, but then it was like they picked their next six riders from a local coffee shop’s open mic night. No speed, just vibes.
Ultimate A$$-whooping Ensemble sounds like they came for a BBQ, not a race. Hope they brought the potato salad, ‘cause they won’t be winning anything here.
BrettDJ — it’s like watching a group of cyclists who accidentally showed up to a car race. They’ll need some serious “go faster” lessons.

And ChatGPT Trained by BassNBrew… well, Pogačar and Roglič can’t carry that many dead weights without their bikes turning into coffins.
:oldunsure: x2
 

🔥 Stage 5 Flat TT Velogames Roast — Ranked & Roasted

RankTeamEst. PointsCommentary
1Cheesypoof1102The TT dream team with Evenepoel and Pogačar strapped on rocket boosters. Everyone else is just chasing their dust — bring sunglasses!
2Da Raiders1086Featuring the dynamic duo of Evenepoel and Pogačar, this team’s gonna turn the TT into a demolition derby. The rest? They might as well be on tricycles.
3Bain and Company1068Roglič, Evenepoel, Vingegaard — basically the Avengers of TT. Everyone else looks like they showed up to a gunfight with a butterknife.
4Nick Vermeil1024Loaded with top guns, but Van Der Poel’s “maybe I care” vibe could cost them. Their weaker riders will be waving the white flag halfway through.
5Forzashels996Van Aert + Pogačar? If he’s not napping, they’re dangerous. Otherwise, their mid-packers will be begging for a tailwind and some mercy.
6Sand990Decent depth but mostly climbers trying to figure out why they’re pedaling so hard without a mountain in sight. Expect some sputtering.
7Jaysus962Pogačar, Almeida, and Van Der Poel walk into a TT… and then everyone else shows up like they thought this was a gravel stage. Narváez and Tronchon might get winded putting on shoe covers.
8Corporation950Half their team looks like they bike uphill for fun. This TT might be their first time pedaling straight — send help!
9Sammy928Pogačar and Almeida are carrying a bunch of slowpokes who will be Googling “how to draft invisible pelotons” on their phones.
10ChemX896Affini’s their only hope. The rest? They’ll be riding so slow, roadside fans will start offering them snacks just to keep moving.
11BobbyLayne880Evenepoel and Vingegaard were a strong start… and then the wheels fell off. Literally. It’s like they drafted their last 6 riders by drawing names out of a helmet at karaoke night.
12Ultimate A$$-whooping Ensemble870Great name, terrible TT team. Mostly climbers who think aero helmets are a fashion statement. Spoiler: they’re not.
13BrettDJ838Jorgenson and Jungels can TT, but the rest look like they’d struggle to keep up on a stationary bike. Somebody get these guys a scooter!
14ChatGPT Trained by BassNBrew822Pogačar and Roglič try to drag this cast of slowpokes, but they’ll be outpaced by race marshals handing out cones.

🔥 Commentary — Now With Extra Jaysus

Cheesypoof is still the benchmark — a team so dialed in it could cut through a wind tunnel with a butter knife.
Da Raiders and Bain and Company will turn this into a points hoarding arms race.
Jaysus? He’s got the holy trinity — Pogačar, Almeida, and MVDP — but then decided to round out his squad with guys who race like they're allergic to speed. Vauquelin might be useful, or he might stop for a panini mid-TT. Who knows?
BobbyLayne is trying to cosplay as a top team with Evenepoel and Vingegaard, but the rest of the squad is made up of enthusiastic interns.
ChatGPT Trained by BassNBrew is desperately hoping Pogačar and Roglič can time trial so hard that it erases the existence of the other 7 riders.
And Ultimate A$$-whooping Ensemble is the punchline that writes itself. Bold name. Timid legs.



 
Good time for Armirail

currently have 2nd & 3rd positions

They'll each drop around 10 spots but pretty happy they're contributing, should be Top 15 with my three best riders to come (all have a shot at Top 5)
 
36 year old Nelson Oliveira (retiring after 2026) posted the 6th best time

Podcaster G was 17th

Fastest riders between kilometer 24.8 and kilometer 33:

# Rider Time Timelag Avg. speed


1 ARMIRAIL Bruno 8.47,53 0.00,0 55.959
2 OLIVEIRA Nelson 8.54,22 0.06,69 55.258
3 FOSS Tobias 8.55,88 0.08,35 55.087
4 ROMEO Iván 8.59,46 0.11,93 54.721
5 AFFINI Edoardo 8.59,62 0.12,09 54.705

Finish as of 10:18 EDT

# rider timegap time avg


1 AFFINI Edoardo 37.15,08 37.15,08 53.2
2 ARMIRAIL Bruno 0.02,47 37.17,55 53.1
3 ROMEO Iván 0.29,86 37.44,94 52.5
4 PLAPP Luke 0.44,88 37.59,96 52.1
 
In his last 20 time trials in stage races, Lipowitz Florian (Red Bull - BORA - hansgrohe) won on average 0:08 on the riders from the final GC top-10.

(currently on the course - 8th best at Timing Point 1)



Based upon the performance in their last 5 time trials on WT or PRO level, what would the GC after the time trial look like?

# Rider Virtual GC time


1 ▲1 POGAČAR Tadej 16:46:36
2 ▲1 VINGEGAARD Jonas 0:05
3 ▲6 EVENEPOEL Remco 0:28
4 ▲4 ALMEIDA João 0:42
5 ▼1 JORGENSON Matteo 1:08
 
Next to start

# Time Rider Clock


3 16:56:00 VINGEGAARD Jonas 0:12
2 16:58:00 POGAČAR Tadej 2:12
1 17:00:00 VAN DER POEL Mathieu 4:12
 
Remco loses time between T1 & T2 3rd best

Lipowitz finishes 3rd behind Armirail & ahead of Romeo

2nd-4th-12th with 3 on the course
 
Vingegaard 7th T1
Jorgenson 14th T1
Roglič 8th T3
Almeida 12th T3

Pogi 3rd T1 - 1 second slower than Remco 19 seconds faster than Jonas
 
Tadej holds all 3 main jerseys

Eddie Merckx won the 1969 Tour by 18 minutes, took the Points 244 to 150, captured the KoM, all at the age of 24 (White jersey did not exist then.) Also won most Combative and the Team Title.

(on a 20 lb steel frame 5-speed but now I'm just an old man yelling at clouds...)
 

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