Chemical X
Footballguy
affini!
affini!
Stage 5 TT Velogames — Ranked & Roasted
Rank Team Est. Points Comments 1 Cheesypoof 1102 The TT dream team with Evenepoel and Pogačar strapped on rocket boosters. Everyone else is just chasing their dust — bring sunglasses! 2 Da Raiders 1086 Featuring the dynamic duo of Evenepoel and Pogačar, this team’s gonna turn the TT into a demolition derby. The rest? They might as well be on tricycles. 3 Bain and Company 1068 Roglič, Evenepoel, Vingegaard — basically the Avengers of TT. Everyone else looks like they showed up to a gunfight with a butterknife. 4 Nick Vermeil 1024 Loaded with top guns, but Van Der Poel’s “maybe I care” vibe could cost them. Their weaker riders will be waving the white flag halfway through. 5 Forzashels 996 Van Aert + Pogačar? If he’s not napping, they’re dangerous. Otherwise, their mid-packers will be begging for a tailwind and some mercy. 6 Sand 990 Decent depth but mostly climbers trying to figure out why they’re pedaling so hard without a mountain in sight. Expect some sputtering. 7 Corporation 950 Half their team looks like they bike uphill for fun. This TT might be their first time pedaling straight — send help! 8 Sammy 928 Pogačar and Almeida are carrying a bunch of slowpokes who will be Googling “how to draft invisible pelotons” on their phones. 9 ChemX 896 Affini’s their only hope. The rest? They’ll be riding so slow, roadside fans will start offering them snacks just to keep moving. 10 Ultimate A$$-whooping Ensemble 870 Great name, terrible TT team. Mostly climbers who think aero helmets are a fashion statement. Spoiler: they’re not. 11 BrettDJ 838 Jorgenson and Jungels can TT, but the rest look like they’d struggle to keep up on a stationary bike. Somebody get these guys a scooter! 12 ChatGPT Trained by BassNBrew 822 Pogačar and Roglič try to drag this cast of slowpokes, but they’ll be outpaced by race marshals handing out cones.
Commentary
- Cheesypoof will rocket ahead with a TT lineup so sharp it could cut glass. The others? They’ll just be catching flies in the wind.
- Da Raiders might actually set a pace so fast, some riders will be petitioning to rename the stage “The Chase for Sanity.”
- Bain and Company basically brought the nuclear option; the rest might as well have stayed home and watched it on TV.
- Nick Vermeil's squad will have a wildcard energy drink… and a bunch of riders looking like they forgot how to pedal efficiently.
- Forzashels is a tale of two teams: elite TT stars and their unfortunate teammates who are gonna learn the hard way what "flat" means.
- Sand and Corporation should probably carry a sag wagon just in case their riders’ legs give out from sheer confusion.
- Sammy will have two riders in the top 10 and a parade of slowpokes trailing behind like a bad soap opera.
- ChemX will need roadside assistance — or maybe just a good podcast to pass the time while watching the clock tick by.
- Ultimate A$$-whooping Ensemble sounds like they came for a BBQ, not a race. Hope they brought the potato salad, ‘cause they won’t be winning anything here.
- BrettDJ — it’s like watching a group of cyclists who accidentally showed up to a car race. They’ll need some serious “go faster” lessons.
- And ChatGPT Trained by BassNBrew… well, Pogačar and Roglič can’t carry that many dead weights without their bikes turning into coffins.
Stage 5 TT Velogames — Ranked & Roasted
Rank Team Est. Points Comments 1 Cheesypoof 1102 The TT dream team with Evenepoel and Pogačar strapped on rocket boosters. Everyone else is just chasing their dust — bring sunglasses! 2 Da Raiders 1086 Featuring the dynamic duo of Evenepoel and Pogačar, this team’s gonna turn the TT into a demolition derby. The rest? They might as well be on tricycles. 3 Bain and Company 1068 Roglič, Evenepoel, Vingegaard — basically the Avengers of TT. Everyone else looks like they showed up to a gunfight with a butterknife. 4 Nick Vermeil 1024 Loaded with top guns, but Van Der Poel’s “maybe I care” vibe could cost them. Their weaker riders will be waving the white flag halfway through. 5 Forzashels 996 Van Aert + Pogačar? If he’s not napping, they’re dangerous. Otherwise, their mid-packers will be begging for a tailwind and some mercy. 6 Sand 990 Decent depth but mostly climbers trying to figure out why they’re pedaling so hard without a mountain in sight. Expect some sputtering. 7 Corporation 950 Half their team looks like they bike uphill for fun. This TT might be their first time pedaling straight — send help! 8 Sammy 928 Pogačar and Almeida are carrying a bunch of slowpokes who will be Googling “how to draft invisible pelotons” on their phones. 9 ChemX 896 Affini’s their only hope. The rest? They’ll be riding so slow, roadside fans will start offering them snacks just to keep moving. 10 Ultimate A$$-whooping Ensemble 870 Great name, terrible TT team. Mostly climbers who think aero helmets are a fashion statement. Spoiler: they’re not. 11 BrettDJ 838 Jorgenson and Jungels can TT, but the rest look like they’d struggle to keep up on a stationary bike. Somebody get these guys a scooter! 12 ChatGPT Trained by BassNBrew 822 Pogačar and Roglič try to drag this cast of slowpokes, but they’ll be outpaced by race marshals handing out cones.
Commentary
- Cheesypoof will rocket ahead with a TT lineup so sharp it could cut glass. The others? They’ll just be catching flies in the wind.
- Da Raiders might actually set a pace so fast, some riders will be petitioning to rename the stage “The Chase for Sanity.”
- Bain and Company basically brought the nuclear option; the rest might as well have stayed home and watched it on TV.
- Nick Vermeil's squad will have a wildcard energy drink… and a bunch of riders looking like they forgot how to pedal efficiently.
- Forzashels is a tale of two teams: elite TT stars and their unfortunate teammates who are gonna learn the hard way what "flat" means.
- Sand and Corporation should probably carry a sag wagon just in case their riders’ legs give out from sheer confusion.
- Sammy will have two riders in the top 10 and a parade of slowpokes trailing behind like a bad soap opera.
- ChemX will need roadside assistance — or maybe just a good podcast to pass the time while watching the clock tick by.
- Ultimate A$$-whooping Ensemble sounds like they came for a BBQ, not a race. Hope they brought the potato salad, ‘cause they won’t be winning anything here.
- BrettDJ — it’s like watching a group of cyclists who accidentally showed up to a car race. They’ll need some serious “go faster” lessons.
- And ChatGPT Trained by BassNBrew… well, Pogačar and Roglič can’t carry that many dead weights without their bikes turning into coffins.
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Rank | Team | Est. Points | Commentary |
---|---|---|---|
1 | Cheesypoof | 1102 | The TT dream team with Evenepoel and Pogačar strapped on rocket boosters. Everyone else is just chasing their dust — bring sunglasses! |
2 | Da Raiders | 1086 | Featuring the dynamic duo of Evenepoel and Pogačar, this team’s gonna turn the TT into a demolition derby. The rest? They might as well be on tricycles. |
3 | Bain and Company | 1068 | Roglič, Evenepoel, Vingegaard — basically the Avengers of TT. Everyone else looks like they showed up to a gunfight with a butterknife. |
4 | Nick Vermeil | 1024 | Loaded with top guns, but Van Der Poel’s “maybe I care” vibe could cost them. Their weaker riders will be waving the white flag halfway through. |
5 | Forzashels | 996 | Van Aert + Pogačar? If he’s not napping, they’re dangerous. Otherwise, their mid-packers will be begging for a tailwind and some mercy. |
6 | Sand | 990 | Decent depth but mostly climbers trying to figure out why they’re pedaling so hard without a mountain in sight. Expect some sputtering. |
7 | Corporation | 950 | Half their team looks like they bike uphill for fun. This TT might be their first time pedaling straight — send help! |
8 | Sammy | 928 | Pogačar and Almeida are carrying a bunch of slowpokes who will be Googling “how to draft invisible pelotons” on their phones. |
9 | ChemX | 896 | Affini’s their only hope. The rest? They’ll be riding so slow, roadside fans will start offering them snacks just to keep moving. |
10 | BobbyLayne | 880 | Evenepoel and Vingegaard were a strong start… and then the wheels fell off. Literally. It’s like they drafted their last 6 riders by drawing names out of a helmet at karaoke night. |
11 | Ultimate A$$-whooping Ensemble | 870 | Great name, terrible TT team. Mostly climbers who think aero helmets are a fashion statement. Spoiler: they’re not. |
12 | BrettDJ | 838 | Jorgenson and Jungels can TT, but the rest look like they’d struggle to keep up on a stationary bike. Somebody get these guys a scooter! |
13 | ChatGPT Trained by BassNBrew | 822 | Pogačar and Roglič try to drag this cast of slowpokes, but they’ll be outpaced by race marshals handing out cones. |
Sorry @BobbyLayne
Stage 5 Flat TT Velogames — Ranked & Roasted
Rank Team Est. Points Commentary 1 Cheesypoof 1102 The TT dream team with Evenepoel and Pogačar strapped on rocket boosters. Everyone else is just chasing their dust — bring sunglasses! 2 Da Raiders 1086 Featuring the dynamic duo of Evenepoel and Pogačar, this team’s gonna turn the TT into a demolition derby. The rest? They might as well be on tricycles. 3 Bain and Company 1068 Roglič, Evenepoel, Vingegaard — basically the Avengers of TT. Everyone else looks like they showed up to a gunfight with a butterknife. 4 Nick Vermeil 1024 Loaded with top guns, but Van Der Poel’s “maybe I care” vibe could cost them. Their weaker riders will be waving the white flag halfway through. 5 Forzashels 996 Van Aert + Pogačar? If he’s not napping, they’re dangerous. Otherwise, their mid-packers will be begging for a tailwind and some mercy. 6 Sand 990 Decent depth but mostly climbers trying to figure out why they’re pedaling so hard without a mountain in sight. Expect some sputtering. 7 Corporation 950 Half their team looks like they bike uphill for fun. This TT might be their first time pedaling straight — send help! 8 Sammy 928 Pogačar and Almeida are carrying a bunch of slowpokes who will be Googling “how to draft invisible pelotons” on their phones. 9 ChemX 896 Affini’s their only hope. The rest? They’ll be riding so slow, roadside fans will start offering them snacks just to keep moving. 10 BobbyLayne 880 Evenepoel and Vingegaard were a strong start… and then the wheels fell off. Literally. It’s like they drafted their last 6 riders by drawing names out of a helmet at karaoke night. 11 Ultimate A$$-whooping Ensemble 870 Great name, terrible TT team. Mostly climbers who think aero helmets are a fashion statement. Spoiler: they’re not. 12 BrettDJ 838 Jorgenson and Jungels can TT, but the rest look like they’d struggle to keep up on a stationary bike. Somebody get these guys a scooter! 13 ChatGPT Trained by BassNBrew 822 Pogačar and Roglič try to drag this cast of slowpokes, but they’ll be outpaced by race marshals handing out cones. Cheesypoof will rocket ahead with a TT lineup so sharp it could cut glass. The others? They’ll just be catching flies in the wind.
Commentary
Da Raiders might actually set a pace so fast, some riders will be petitioning to rename the stage “The Chase for Sanity.”
Bain and Company basically brought the nuclear option; the rest might as well have stayed home and watched it on TV.
Nick Vermeil's squad will have a wildcard energy drink… and a bunch of riders looking like they forgot how to pedal efficiently.
Forzashels is a tale of two teams: elite TT stars and their unfortunate teammates who are gonna learn the hard way what "flat" means.
Sand and Corporation should probably carry a sag wagon just in case their riders’ legs give out from sheer confusion.
Sammy will have two riders in the top 10 and a parade of slowpokes trailing behind like a bad soap opera.
ChemX will need roadside assistance — or maybe just a good podcast to pass the time while watching the clock tick by.
BobbyLayne started off hot with Evenepoel and Vingegaard, but then it was like they picked their next six riders from a local coffee shop’s open mic night. No speed, just vibes.
Ultimate A$$-whooping Ensemble sounds like they came for a BBQ, not a race. Hope they brought the potato salad, ‘cause they won’t be winning anything here.
BrettDJ — it’s like watching a group of cyclists who accidentally showed up to a car race. They’ll need some serious “go faster” lessons.
And ChatGPT Trained by BassNBrew… well, Pogačar and Roglič can’t carry that many dead weights without their bikes turning into coffins.
Rank | Team | Est. Points | Commentary |
---|---|---|---|
1 | Cheesypoof | 1102 | The TT dream team with Evenepoel and Pogačar strapped on rocket boosters. Everyone else is just chasing their dust — bring sunglasses! |
2 | Da Raiders | 1086 | Featuring the dynamic duo of Evenepoel and Pogačar, this team’s gonna turn the TT into a demolition derby. The rest? They might as well be on tricycles. |
3 | Bain and Company | 1068 | Roglič, Evenepoel, Vingegaard — basically the Avengers of TT. Everyone else looks like they showed up to a gunfight with a butterknife. |
4 | Nick Vermeil | 1024 | Loaded with top guns, but Van Der Poel’s “maybe I care” vibe could cost them. Their weaker riders will be waving the white flag halfway through. |
5 | Forzashels | 996 | Van Aert + Pogačar? If he’s not napping, they’re dangerous. Otherwise, their mid-packers will be begging for a tailwind and some mercy. |
6 | Sand | 990 | Decent depth but mostly climbers trying to figure out why they’re pedaling so hard without a mountain in sight. Expect some sputtering. |
7 | Jaysus | 962 | Pogačar, Almeida, and Van Der Poel walk into a TT… and then everyone else shows up like they thought this was a gravel stage. Narváez and Tronchon might get winded putting on shoe covers. |
8 | Corporation | 950 | Half their team looks like they bike uphill for fun. This TT might be their first time pedaling straight — send help! |
9 | Sammy | 928 | Pogačar and Almeida are carrying a bunch of slowpokes who will be Googling “how to draft invisible pelotons” on their phones. |
10 | ChemX | 896 | Affini’s their only hope. The rest? They’ll be riding so slow, roadside fans will start offering them snacks just to keep moving. |
11 | BobbyLayne | 880 | Evenepoel and Vingegaard were a strong start… and then the wheels fell off. Literally. It’s like they drafted their last 6 riders by drawing names out of a helmet at karaoke night. |
12 | Ultimate A$$-whooping Ensemble | 870 | Great name, terrible TT team. Mostly climbers who think aero helmets are a fashion statement. Spoiler: they’re not. |
13 | BrettDJ | 838 | Jorgenson and Jungels can TT, but the rest look like they’d struggle to keep up on a stationary bike. Somebody get these guys a scooter! |
14 | ChatGPT Trained by BassNBrew | 822 | Pogačar and Roglič try to drag this cast of slowpokes, but they’ll be outpaced by race marshals handing out cones. |
romeo, romeo where for art thou romeo?
behind affini!!!!
who fights with a wheel?
On this day in 2010
Spaniard Carlos Barredo (Quick Step) and the Portuguese rider Rui Costa (Caisse d'Epargne) came to blows after the end of Stage 6 from Montargis to Gueugnon.
#rubbinisracing
Team BL
1st-3rd-5th-15th
Almeida and Jonas to come
So much for that. LolMy 4pt guy hanging in the top 20. Jonas Richaert may come through with a few unexpected points today.
Oof...Jonas looked totally cooked when he finishedPogi 2nd
65 seconds better than Vingegaard
Tadej holds all 3 main jerseys
Cheeseypoof riders finish 1-2-11-18-25. Probably middle of the pack.