Statorama
Footballguy
I have a little Michael Scott in me (that's what she said)
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One liners (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Bracie Smathers
- Start date
dickey moe
Fingerpicker
"It's not lie if you believe it!" - George Costanza
Bracie Smathers
Footballguy
I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park but it’s just really hard to find thirty-two of them willing to do it.
strykerpks
Footballguy
RIP Bob Uecker
The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling and then pick it up.
To last as long as I did with the skills I had, with the numbers I produced, was a triumph of the human spirit.
I led the league in "go get 'em next time."
The way to catch a knuckleball is to wait until it stops rolling and then pick it up.
To last as long as I did with the skills I had, with the numbers I produced, was a triumph of the human spirit.
I led the league in "go get 'em next time."
Bracie Smathers
Footballguy
"The trouble with internet quotes is that you never can be sure of their authenticity."
-- Abraham Lincoln
-- Abraham Lincoln
Bracie Smathers
Footballguy
"They say a woman's work is never done, and maybe that's why they get paid less."
-- Sean Lock
-- Sean Lock
Bracie Smathers
Footballguy
"It’s not the heat, it’s the humility."
-- Yogi Berra
-- Yogi Berra
Bracie Smathers
Footballguy
“I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes—and six months later, you have to start all over again.”
-- Joan Rivers
-- Joan Rivers
Bracie Smathers
Footballguy
Bracie Smathers
Footballguy
"A banana and a rubber band? What are you, MacGyver?"
-- Louie De Palma, Taxi.
-- Louie De Palma, Taxi.
I don't think this is correct.
MacGyver - 1985-1992
Taxi - 1978-1983.
Doesn't seem to be an overlap here. Unless MacGyver is a spin off of Taxi
El Floppo
Footballguy
Bracie Smathers
Footballguy
Internet not netting correctly.
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“My wife and I were happy for 20 years—then we met.”
-- Rodney Dangerfield
Bracie Smathers
Footballguy
“I put a dollar in a change machine, nothing changed.”
-- George Carlin
-- George Carlin
Bracie Smathers
Footballguy
Bracie Smathers
Footballguy
"You’ve got something on your chin... no, the third one down."
-- Don Rickles
-- Don Rickles
Leroy Hoard
Footballguy
I had a vasectomy because I didn't want to have kids.
But when I came back home, they were still there.
kupcho1
Footballguy
Best one-liner yet.
kupcho1
Footballguy
Rodney had some great ones
"I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap."
"When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me."
"I'm so ugly - my father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet."
"Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire."
"The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it."
"I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette."
There's a million more, but that's enough for this post.
"I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap."
"When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me."
"I'm so ugly - my father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet."
"Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire."
"The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it."
"I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette."
There's a million more, but that's enough for this post.
rockaction
Footballguy
Let me tell ya I get no respect no respect
Bracie Smathers
Footballguy
steelerfan1
Footballguy
He’s like a blister, he only shows up after the hard work is finished.
rustycolts
Footballguy
No good deed goes unpunished.
rustycolts
Footballguy
Send lawyers,guns and money the **** has hit the fan.
Warren Zevon
Warren Zevon
