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Parent Poll (1 Viewer)

Have you personally ever intentionally withheld a meal from a child for disciplinary reasons?

  • Yes

    Votes: 29 16.4%

  • No

    Votes: 133 75.1%

  • Yesno

    Votes: 15 8.5%

  • N/A

    Votes: 16 9.0%

  • Smoo

    Votes: 15 8.5%
  • Total voters
    177
Tom Skerritt said:
I used to get really frustrated with my teenage son. And very recently, I made a deal with him. As long as he gets good grades, keeps his room relatively clean, does his chores without asking (take out trash/recycling, mow the lawn, help clean the house a little)... and I will not hassle him about being a lazy, good-for-nothing, rotten teenager. It's been amazing! He can lay around in his room on the computer all day long, and I don't care anymore because he is fulfilling his end of the bargain. 
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Yes, I would be ok with that.

What I can't deal with is the rudeness.  A normal "hi son" is met with silence and avoiding eye contact or a scowl and anger.  A simple question, same thing.

And yelling at his mother when I'm not around just to get his way because she backs down.

And his two younger sisters seeing it all, and emulating it.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
killface said:
This is similar to a spanking debate...you aren't going to change people's minds
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I don't know.  There has been a lot of great advice on these boards through the years.  I've certainly heeded advice from my fellow FBGs.  These are great discussions. 

 
Psychopav said:
Yes, I would be ok with that.

What I can't deal with is the rudeness.  A normal "hi son" is met with silence and avoiding eye contact or a scowl and anger.  A simple question, same thing.

And yelling at his mother when I'm not around just to get his way because she backs down.

And his two younger sisters seeing it all, and emulating it.
Click to expand...
I get it. The disrespect and rudeness would be deal-breakers in my house... simply unacceptable. 

Can you just let him know that if/when he is disrespectful, he will lose his phone and car for a week? Can you guys agree on that? Let him know that it's unacceptable. And when he agrees to the deal, he has no excuses. But you have to remain calm and follow through. 

 
And I would have him submit to a drug test. And every time he acts out in the future, he will get another drug test. If he says no, then no phone/car until he does. 

 
I voted before reading the thread. Now that I know he's 16 & not 6, I don't care that you withheld the white spaghetti.

I'm pretty sure if that happened when I was that age I would have just gone out to eat with my friends.

 
i've got 8 and 5 year old girls

when they get outta line and need discipline, we put on the boxing gloves and take it outside.  5 year old is pretty feisty and tougher than you think. i haven't lost yet but the day is near.

 
Tom Skerritt said:
I get it. The disrespect and rudeness would be deal-breakers in my house... simply unacceptable. 

Can you just let him know that if/when he is disrespectful, he will lose his phone and car for a week? Can you guys agree on that? Let him know that it's unacceptable. And when he agrees to the deal, he has no excuses. But you have to remain calm and follow through. 
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If the OP is like me, he can't take away the phone because he needs to keep in touch with the kid, emergencies etc. Can't take away the car because who is going to drive him to school, sports, work?

Those things punish the parents as much as the kid.

 
killface said:
This is similar to a spanking debate...you aren't going to change people's minds
Click to expand...
C'mon, not giving a kid dinner isn't even in the same ballpark as spanking. 

In this case the punishment (not getting food) suited the crime (not eating with family) and was justified, especially given the kid's age.

 
Gianni Verscotchie said:
If the OP is like me, he can't take away the phone because he needs to keep in touch with the kid, emergencies etc. Can't take away the car because who is going to drive him to school, sports, work?

Those things punish the parents as much as the kid.
Click to expand...
Yeah... heaven forbid you actually have to parent. That would just be too much work.  :rolleyes:

 
I had a conversation with my two oldest kids around the 14-15 year old mark, and told them in so many kind words - I can't make you do a damn thing (or behave a certain way), but from here on out that ONLY they would ultimately feel the pain or reap the benefits of their actions and choices.

Made them think, and I think it worked.

 
Psychopav said:
Yes, I would be ok with that.

What I can't deal with is the rudeness.  A normal "hi son" is met with silence and avoiding eye contact or a scowl and anger.  A simple question, same thing.

And yelling at his mother when I'm not around just to get his way because she backs down.

And his two younger sisters seeing it all, and emulating it.
Click to expand...
Wow, I would have to pick myself up from the floor if I tried this.  Time for a lesson in who is actually boss.

 
Psychopav said:
Yes, I would be ok with that.

What I can't deal with is the rudeness.  A normal "hi son" is met with silence and avoiding eye contact or a scowl and anger.  A simple question, same thing.

And yelling at his mother when I'm not around just to get his way because she backs down.

And his two younger sisters seeing it all, and emulating it.
Click to expand...
You should pray more.

 
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