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Send Some Good Vibes My Way Tonight If You Wouldn’t Mind (1 Viewer)

rockaction said:
Boredom at the hospital has set in. It’s become a numbing experience from the first night to this one. I’ve sort of accepted the whole thing and feel reassured by the doctors. This is, of course, dangerous, but it’s as par for the course as it could be, at least thus far. It’s still lethally dangerous, this procedure, even if success rates are high. So I’m bored but not blasé. This is serious stuff. Hospitals are no fun. The IVs required are damaging and suck. They’re implanted and embedded in your skin, and they can hurt all on their own. But that’s a minor complaint. Just…not fun.
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No, I think hospitals are the pits too. You want to be there for your family, keep them company, try and lift their spirits but the entire time, all you want to do is run far and fast away from that place. It's depressing. Meanwhile, as you try and visit, the constant stream of nurses, doctors and orderlies coming in and out of the room make it near impossible to try and hold a meaningful conversation. And I never know what to do when somebody I don't really know is 3 feet next to me while I'm just sitting there like a dolt, so I end up making awkward conversation or trying to land lame jokes and it's all because I've got some anxiety about being there at all and silence is just worse for me. My favorite is when {fill in the blank} exits the room and says something like "Okay, try to get some rest, okay!". Meanwhile, the noises and beeps and constant parading up and down the halls outside make it impossible to settle into a good rest. Coming and going from the elevators to the room and back you can't help but peer into open doorways and wonder what in the world this person is in here for, how long have they been here, should I buy my loved one more balloons or flowers in the gift shop so it looks like I care as much as they do about their family member?

Hospitals are no fun. Nope. So, Pop Rock, best to you man. Get that surgery, get it turned around and hoping beyond hope you get yourself OUT of there!
 
General Malaise said:
rockaction said:
Boredom at the hospital has set in. It’s become a numbing experience from the first night to this one. I’ve sort of accepted the whole thing and feel reassured by the doctors. This is, of course, dangerous, but it’s as par for the course as it could be, at least thus far. It’s still lethally dangerous, this procedure, even if success rates are high. So I’m bored but not blasé. This is serious stuff. Hospitals are no fun. The IVs required are damaging and suck. They’re implanted and embedded in your skin, and they can hurt all on their own. But that’s a minor complaint. Just…not fun.
Click to expand...

No, I think hospitals are the pits too. You want to be there for your family, keep them company, try and lift their spirits but the entire time, all you want to do is run far and fast away from that place. It's depressing. Meanwhile, as you try and visit, the constant stream of nurses, doctors and orderlies coming in and out of the room make it near impossible to try and hold a meaningful conversation. And I never know what to do when somebody I don't really know is 3 feet next to me while I'm just sitting there like a dolt, so I end up making awkward conversation or trying to land lame jokes and it's all because I've got some anxiety about being there at all and silence is just worse for me. My favorite is when {fill in the blank} exits the room and says something like "Okay, try to get some rest, okay!". Meanwhile, the noises and beeps and constant parading up and down the halls outside make it impossible to settle into a good rest. Coming and going from the elevators to the room and back you can't help but peer into open doorways and wonder what in the world this person is in here for, how long have they been here, should I buy my loved one more balloons or flowers in the gift shop so it looks like I care as much as they do about their family member?

Hospitals are no fun. Nope. So, Pop Rock, best to you man. Get that surgery, get it turned around and hoping beyond hope you get yourself OUT of there!
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So perfect. Thanks, GM.
 
rockaction said:
I know this is probably boring and a little look-at-meish and possibly untoward, especially if you’re not going through it, or your front page mission is fun and fun only. I apologize for that. I’m only updating to see it through and because it helps settle me down and clarify what’s going on. Thanks again to all the well wishers and erstwhile raiders that have kept my spirits up. Peace on ya, brothers!
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That's what friends do. Keep sharing.
 
Joe Bryant said:
That's what friends do. Keep sharing.
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Thanks, Joe. In a synergistic way, I can attest that the FFA is not dying of fear. Thanks for providing the forum to help me get through this. My friends IRL have sent along wishes, and I’m in contact with them, but this is a central meeting place and is my emotional home for the day-to-day, really. I appreciate it tremendously.
 
Update: He needs a TAVR procedure. They’ll go in through the groin. A one in a thousand chance it’s open heart. Five percent he will need a pacemaker. There are no major blockages; he just has arterial stenosis, so the valve is too tight and cutting off blood flow, so they need to do the surgery. The doctors have given us a ton of confidence. We spoke with someone from the surgical team today. It’s light anesthesia, like a colonoscopy. They seem very confident. The surgery is tomorrow at noon. Thanks again for the support.
 
Alex P Keaton said:
Just saw this thread rock. Best to your dad. It’s ok to feel whatever you’re feeling. When my grandma was in a tough spot and my family was losing their minds, I just tried to breathe and be present for her and the others. It helped me to focus on being of service to them.

Will be praying for your dad.
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Thanks, Alex. Am trying to be present as we speak. My brother arrives tonight. Should be cool. He is a centering character.
 
ignatiusjreilly said:
Hey Rock I've been spending less time lately on the FFA but I came here this morning and saw your thread. Best wishes to your dad tomorrow, and to you and your mom as well. I know how difficult these kinds of things can be on the rest of the family. Please make sure you're taking care of yourself
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Thanks, Ignatius. Aside from the Dr. Nut and hot dogs killing my pyloric valve, I’m taking care.

Peace!
 
parasaurolophus said:
Late to the party here, good luck. I always wish I could say something profound in these situations. I always want to offer the "if you need anything..." line, but then I wonder if that would look self serving. I mean how could I help? I am in Colorado and I assume you aren't asking for money. So does that read just as a look at me line? Do such offers matter?
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Bit of a tangent, but my brother's first wife died of breast cancer at age 35. He had some very strong opinions on what he liked/didn't like when people would talk to him about the situation. He absolutely hated "If you need anything, let me know" because he felt like it was ostensibly an offer to help, but really put the burden on him to come up with something. Other pet peeves: When people would make an (often strained) attempt to relate his situation to their own, or "I can't imagine what you're going through", since that put an emotional distance between them and him.
.
What he did like: Expressions of empathy: "Wow, that must be really hard," "I wanted to let you know I was thinking of you," etc.

Meanwhile, my sister-in-law hated all the martial metaphors about "bravely fighting" cancer. Did that mean that if she didn't survive, she wasn't brave or didn't fight hard enough? She preferred to think of it a "dance".

Anyway, I bring all this up not to tell people what they should or shouldn't say in these types of situations; these are just the opinions of two people, and others may feel differently. I think the key is, try to really listen to what they're saying, and whatever you say, make it about them and not you. If they're not religious, they may not want to hear that this is all part of God's plan; on the other hand, if they are, a sentiment like that may give them comfort.

One observation that my brother made that I think is broadly applicable is that a lot of the things people said were really about them dealing with their own discomfort rather than trying to allay his. Try not to be one of those people
 
I don’t really get fussy. People are just doing their best regardless. I expect very little. Any empathy, even that which expresses disbelief or can’t imagining is fine by me. But parasauropholus was making fun of my typical post. I took it as such and not literally. Peace.
 
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this place was totally integral to my recovery from my gripper it was covid i couldnt see anyone socially but i could post here about walking and food choices and so on and it got me through matsuki says this place is dying but it helped me not
 
rockaction said:
My friends IRL have sent along wishes, and I’m in contact with them, but this is a central meeting place and is my emotional home for the day-to-day, really.
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I should also say that my friends here are friends IRL. I meant meatspace. If you and I have exchanged tidings in an extended way or anything like that, you’re a friend. No doubt.
 
rockaction said:
I don’t really get fussy. People are just doing their best regardless. I expect very little. Any empathy, even that which expresses disbelief or can’t imagining is fine by me. But parasaurophulus was making fun of my typical post. I took it as such and not literally. Peace.
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Totally. And just to be crystal clear, my post wasn't in any way a criticism of Para. I should also add that my brother reacted to his wife's situation with a lot of (very understandable) anger at the world, which may have been the reason he had such strong reactions to the things people said. I suspect most people are more in the "non-fussy" camp like you.
 
ignatiusjreilly said:
Meanwhile, my sister-in-law hated all the martial metaphors about "bravely fighting" cancer. Did that mean that if she didn't survive, she wasn't brave or didn't fight hard enough?
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This one drives me nuts. How is Bruce WIllis "fighting" his condition? If Chuck Norris can't fight it, neither can he. He and his family are basically trying for dignity here.

And just exactly how does one wrestle with cancer cells, anyway? Tiny little metal chairs?
 
rockaction said:
Good news. Surgery went well. If his levels respond, he might be discharged in the next day or two. Thanks again for the outpouring of support. It seems trivial given the result, but when we flew out, it sounded really bad. Thanks again!

-ra
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Most excellent news, Sir Rock.
 
rockaction said:
Good news. Surgery went well. If his levels respond, he might be discharged in the next day or two. Thanks again for the outpouring of support. It seems trivial given the result, but when we flew out, it sounded really bad. Thanks again!

-ra
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Great to hear!

It’s also not uncommon to be discharged in a day or two if things go well.
 
rockaction said:
Good news. Surgery went well. If his levels respond, he might be discharged in the next day or two. Thanks again for the outpouring of support. It seems trivial given the result, but when we flew out, it sounded really bad. Thanks again!

-ra
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Fantastic news. Keep daddyrock on the mend, hoping for a quick exodus from the hospital. Can an exodus be quick? Maybe I should get a better word...
 
rockaction said:
Good news. Surgery went well. If his levels respond, he might be discharged in the next day or two. Thanks again for the outpouring of support. It seems trivial given the result, but when we flew out, it sounded really bad. Thanks again!

-ra
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Amazing news. Happy to hear that things went about as perfect and beautiful as possible. Please continue to keep us posted!!
 
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