So a couple nights ago I told my wife she was overreacting… (1 Viewer)

[Gordo]

A bit of marital advice, don’t do that.

Feel free to share your own tips and tricks.

 

[rockaction]

I have no marital advice because see my post in the "what inspires you" thread. Here's my advice. #### marriage. Don't do it. 

 

[DA RAIDERS]

Calm down is always a winner. 

 

[El Floppo]

Whatever my first instinct is..don't.

 

[Chemical X]

did she overreact?

 

[Leroy Hoard]

You'd think that saying how unattractive the women at the strip club are getting would help.  But nope.

 

[Dr. Octopus]

Calm down is always a winner. 

“relax” has the same effect.

 

[Tom Servo]

A bit of marital advice, don’t do that.

Feel free to share your own tips and tricks.

When your wife sees something that she thinks distresses her and it’s actually nothing, don’t laugh. 

 

[zamboni]

“relax” has the same effect.

I prefer “Frankie says relax” to shift the blame to him/them.

 

[Osaurus]

Still alive? 

 

[El Floppo]

I prefer “Frankie says relax” to shift the blame to him/them.

Oh come on.

Frankie Say Relax

 

[Ghost Rider]

Should have pulled a Cam Newton and said, "I wish you knew when to be quiet." 

 

[zamboni]

Oh come on.

Frankie Say Relax

I keep it singular to avoid ganging up on her.

 

[otb_lifer]

Should have pulled a Cam Newton and said, "I wish you knew when to be quiet." 

... while she was cooking, natch. 

now that's a bad ##### 

 

[fruity pebbles]

I’m glad I don’t have to deal with that crap anymore

 

[AAABatteries]

A bit of marital advice, don’t do that.

Feel free to share your own tips and tricks.

https://youtu.be/5L07t8yd_a4

 

[The General]

Tell her she’s at about a 9 and you need her to be at a 2. Do a little motion like you are turning a dial as you say it.

 

[Atomic Punk]

I’ve always learned to keep any sensitive subjects very lighthearted, especially any commentary about her and she does the same with me. There is a subtlety to how you can make the point without being too direct and the other person comes to the conclusion on their own. Over the years, there is virtually nothing that gets us worked up ... except the one night with the hookers and blow.

I was pretty pissed at her about that.

 

[Kal El]

I’m trying to think of an appropriate joke to join in, but my wife and I honestly don’t do stuff like that. There is the “I’m fine” thing, where she says it and I know it isn’t true, but I’ve learned not to pry, because then I’m part of the thing that is now not fine.

 

[mr. furley]

Tell her she’s at about a 9 and you need her to be at a 2. Do a little motion like you are turning a dial as you say it.

friend of mine does the zip your lips motion and turns the key as if to lock the mouth shut

goes over super

somehow they're still married. coming up on 20 years.

 

[identikit]

“relax” has the same effect.

I've found this to be especially effective:

R-E-L-A-X

 

[identikit]

Tell her she’s at about a 9 and you need her to be at a 2. Do a little motion like you are turning a dial as you say it.

Is that on the Offdee Scale?

 

[otb_lifer]

friend of mine does the zip your lips motion and turns the key as if to lock the mouth shut

goes over super

somehow they're still married. coming up on 20 years.

did they get hitched at  -10 yrs old?

 

[Sleestak]

Asking my wife to give me the short version produces results.

 

[Terminalxylem]

friend of mine does the zip your lips motion and turns the key as if to lock the mouth shut

goes over super

somehow they're still married. coming up on 20 years.

I occasionally tell mine to zip it, but seems to have the opposite effect

And I can never figure whether she prefers shutting her pie- or cake-hole.

But can’t live without ‘em, amiright?

 

[Galileo]

You guys talk to your wives?  Huh...

 

[PIK95]

Yesterday was our anniversary.  We got in a huge fight.  I told her she was being passive aggressive about the dinner she wanted, I didn't care what it was.  Not good.  Happy anniversary!  

 

[mr. furley]

Yesterday was our anniversary.  We got in a huge fight.  I told her she was being passive aggressive about the dinner she wanted, I didn't care what it was.  Not good.  Happy anniversary!  

w: "what's for dinner"

m: "i was going to just make spaghetti"

w: "the kids wont eat that"

m: "ok"

w: "so what are you making"

m: "spaghetti"

w: "but i don't want that"

m: "ok.. kids, spaghetti sound good?"

kids: YEAH!!!

w: "why did you just undermine me like that? i told you the kids wouldn't eat spaghetti and now you're making them eat spaghetti and i don't get to eat."

m: "spaghetti's ready!"

kids: YAY!!!

 

[offdee]

Marriage is fun.  Glad I'll never do that again.

 

[Gordo]

did she overreact?

Yes. She's a woman.

 

[cockroach]

Calm down is always a winner. 

“relax” has the same effect.

"Chill" isn't any better.  

 

[Mrs. Rannous]

Make sure you tell her that outfit makes her look fat.  You wouldn't want her to go out that way.

 

[BobbyLayne]

Calm down is always a winner. 

“relax” has the same effect.

"Chill" isn't any better.  

No one - no one - in the history of the world has ever chilled out after being told to “chill out”

 

[otb_lifer]

No one - no one - in the history of the world has ever chilled out after being told to “chill out”

oh, man ... THIS ^ x infinity. 

it actually has the opposite effect on me - the phrase makes me veins pop 

 

[AAABatteries]

Calm down….

I don’t see the big deal…..

Why don’t you just…..

 

[zamboni]

No one - no one - in the history of the world has ever chilled out after being told to “chill out”

I think even penguins head to the desert when they hear this.

 

[Dez89]

I've found this to be especially effective:

R-E-L-A-X

Tangent: is there a good phone app that lets you record audio clips, organize them, and play the appropriate one with the touch of a button? 

 

[Tom Skerritt]

Is it that time of the month?

I'm sorry you feel offended/hurt.

Have you tried... _____ ?

I'm sorry, what?

Good morning.

 

[massraider]

My girlfriend is this tiny thing with a squeaky little Leslie Mann voice, and when she gets mad I think it's the cutest thing ever, which gets her angrier, which I find even cuter. She used to hit me in the chest when she saw me smiling at how cute she was, then she discovered that I found her chest punches GD adorable. 

She now goes silent in seething anger till I apologize, but she definitely resents not being able to holler at me. 

 

[simey]

My girlfriend is this tiny thing with a squeaky little Leslie Mann voice, and when she gets mad I think it's the cutest thing ever, which gets her angrier, which I find even cuter. She used to hit me in the chest when she saw me smiling at how cute she was, then she discovered that I found her chest punches GD adorable. 

She now goes silent in seething anger till I apologize, but she definitely resents not being able to holler at me. 

Next time she is mad at you, she should punch ya in the nuts, and see how cute you think that is. 

 

[E Street Brat]

friend of mine does the zip your lips motion and turns the key as if to lock the mouth shut

goes over super

somehow they're still married. coming up on 20 years.

This post should come with a warning. 

I tried this move last night just for the hell of it.   I even gave her the "HEY" first. Then the zip it motion..... 

Hilarity DID NOT ensue 

 

[Bracie Smathers]

So a couple nights ago I told my wife she was overreacting…

A bit of marital advice, don’t do that.

Feel free to share your own tips and tricks.

You screwed up.

Next time pat her on the head and say in your most patronizing voice.

'Don't worry your pretty little head.'

She'll love it, lol.

 

[coopersdad]

It's not like you've done this before.

 

[DallasDMac]

Make sure you tell her that outfit makes her look fat.  You wouldn't want her to go out that way.

W: "Does this dress make me look fat?"

M: "No, the extra 30 pounds you're carrying does."

No way she can get mad when I'm just being honest right?

 

[mr. furley]

This post should come with a warning. 

I tried this move last night just for the hell of it.   I even gave her the "HEY" first. Then the zip it motion..... 

Hilarity DID NOT ensue 

bold, bold move

i did it to my wife once years ago.  she hit me with "don't you ever ####ing do that again in your life."

 

[Kal El]

My girlfriend is this tiny thing with a squeaky little Leslie Mann voice, and when she gets mad I think it's the cutest thing ever, which gets her angrier, which I find even cuter. She used to hit me in the chest when she saw me smiling at how cute she was, then she discovered that I found her chest punches GD adorable. 

She now goes silent in seething anger till I apologize, but she definitely resents not being able to holler at me. 

Next time, when she says she’s mad, wrap a towel around her shoulders and tell her, “Now you’re Super mad.”

Results guaranteed every time.

 

[rockaction]

Next time, when she says she’s mad, wrap a towel around her shoulders and tell her, “Now you’re Super mad.”

Results guaranteed every time.

 Just awesome. 

 

[dkp993]

Whatever my first instinct is..don't.

As @George Costanzawill tell you, always do the opposite of your instincts

 

[PIK95]

Marriage is fun.  Glad I'll never do that again.

Turned it around and accumulated some dots tonight.  Yay marriage!

 

[Tick]

Accuse her of being defensive.