ChiefD
Footballguy
So, ever since my son was old enough to talk, I've made him an apple pie for his birthday. His 16th birthday is tomorrow. So tonight is the night to make this pie. This pie is made from scratch. I make the dough and everything. Made with farmers market apples.
So tonight I make my apple filling mix. Set it aside.
Start making my dough, which takes a little time. Divide the dough in two so I have enough for the top and bottom of the pie. I open the drawer where the wooden rolling pin resides, and........
It's not there.
Now, I make this pie every two years since we travel to my brothers every other year. So this rolling pin gets used once every two years. It is a classic wooden rolling pin handed down from my mother. It has experience.
My wife is in the kitchen, and I immediately say: "where's the ****ing rolling pin?"
She gives me this look like, "how the hell would I know?" So she says:
Her: how the hell would I know?
Me: because I make one pie every two years and every time I make the pie the rolling pin is in this drawer.
Her: well, I didn't do anything with it.
Me: well, you don't bake, so I know you didn't USE it. But where did you put it? (she reorganized the kitchen earlier this past spring)
Her: i didn't put it anywhere. It must have been you.
Me: (knowing good and well i haven't touched it in two years) I haven't used it since the last pie I made.
Her: well, I don't know.
We look for a good 10 minutes for the rolling pin. No dice. Remember, my son's birthday tradition is riding on this thing. I start thinking of "what do I have that is round and long and cylindrical that I can use to roll out some dough?"
A few minutes go by and I remember: I have a backup. I had received a rolling pin as a Christmas gift about 8 years ago, but it was a plastic one and I threw it in the back of a cabinet somewhere.
WALA! THE PIE IS SAVED!!!!
But the question remains: where is my wooden rolling pin? Help me FFA solve this mystery.
So tonight I make my apple filling mix. Set it aside.
Start making my dough, which takes a little time. Divide the dough in two so I have enough for the top and bottom of the pie. I open the drawer where the wooden rolling pin resides, and........
It's not there.
Now, I make this pie every two years since we travel to my brothers every other year. So this rolling pin gets used once every two years. It is a classic wooden rolling pin handed down from my mother. It has experience.
My wife is in the kitchen, and I immediately say: "where's the ****ing rolling pin?"
She gives me this look like, "how the hell would I know?" So she says:
Her: how the hell would I know?
Me: because I make one pie every two years and every time I make the pie the rolling pin is in this drawer.
Her: well, I didn't do anything with it.
Me: well, you don't bake, so I know you didn't USE it. But where did you put it? (she reorganized the kitchen earlier this past spring)
Her: i didn't put it anywhere. It must have been you.
Me: (knowing good and well i haven't touched it in two years) I haven't used it since the last pie I made.
Her: well, I don't know.
We look for a good 10 minutes for the rolling pin. No dice. Remember, my son's birthday tradition is riding on this thing. I start thinking of "what do I have that is round and long and cylindrical that I can use to roll out some dough?"
A few minutes go by and I remember: I have a backup. I had received a rolling pin as a Christmas gift about 8 years ago, but it was a plastic one and I threw it in the back of a cabinet somewhere.
WALA! THE PIE IS SAVED!!!!
But the question remains: where is my wooden rolling pin? Help me FFA solve this mystery.
I have 2 documented situations where she was 100% sure she was right, and then I found the things she said I lost (one of them had her handwriting on it and she couldn't deny it, the other was at her office at work 
). Even though I know I'm throwing gas on the fire, eventually I'll just say 2 words to remind her of those 2 situations and she just melts down.
