Son has a transgendered child in his kindergarten class (1 Viewer)

[Henry Ford]

I like you hf but truly believe that any kid confuse about sexual id should wait until maturity..

It doesn’t sound like the kid is confused. 

 

[Green and Gold]

The above is ridiculous..Personal example but i suspected my sons best friend was gay at around 8-9 years of age.  His parents just wanted to roll with the situation which I agree with.   

Sexuality is different. Nothing wrong with waiting and rolling with that. Gender identity isn't necessarily related to sexual preferences. 

 

[Henry Ford]

I find that a lot of people who feel confused about someone else’s sexuality or gender project that confusion onto the other person and think he or she is confused. 

I’m not saying that’s you, but it’s maybe worth thinking about. 

 

[ConnSKINS26]

You are talking about complex issues.  Issues that a 5 year old isn't capable of comprehending.  Yet whatever they feel at 5 is going to be their lifelong decision?  The "detrans" movement is hitting an all time high for those that care.   A portion of people who go through a full sexual transition are no happier than they were before the transition.   Many of these people were well informed at the point they made their decision. 

I'm ok if parents want to cater to their children, but once they start talking physical and hormonal changes, we need to have a discussion.

We are talking past each other. You're all over the place and not addressing the same things I am, nor is all of what you're saying making sense. But you seem confident in what you're saying, so good for you. 

 

[mr. furley]

there's literally zero chance anything op says here is remotely real

alternately he's been a pre-teen, a Vietnam vet, a stay at home mom and a disgraced pilot

 

[ProstheticRGK]

I have zero expertise on this subject. I don't even have any anecdotal evidence of stories of a cousin's friend.

the only thing I can offer is some basic human empathy for that kid and the parents (and any and all kids and parents trying to cope with something so monumental). That seems very young to me, but I have no experience. I doubt many people would force their kids into acting/dressing opposite gender just to virtue signal their liberalness, given most people's refusal to mind their own business and/or be wantonly cruel. I'm willing to give the kid and parents some leeway and fredom that they're doing the best they can.

as a related aside I went to High school in the 80s, played sports, had friends and hung out in lockerrooms where we called each other "gay" and "" all the time, because it meant you were lame. Even as an adult, it would sometimes slip out as an insult, though not meant mean-spirited. I've had several friends (usually gay) chide me that it was offensive, small-minded and hurtful. I listened, but mostly thought it was harmless and they were overreacting. My kids picked up the habit. I don't know whether they picked it up from me, or just from other kids. Didn't matter. I started calling them out on it, asking them what was wrong with being gay. Asking them how they'd feel if I went around using their name as an insult. Started having discussions with them about it, and how we treat peoples. Other races, other orientations, other genders, just others.

i'm not trying to virtue signal how awesome I am. I am an #######. The point is, we are all of us #######s. Just try and be a little bit better and be human with others.

 

[OrtonToOlsen]

there's literally zero chance anything op says here is remotely real

alternately he's been a pre-teen, a Vietnam vet, a stay at home mom and a disgraced pilot

The name of that man that stood up to the liberal parents?

Oliver North

 

[OrtonToOlsen]

Maybe they can just chop your schvantz off when you’re 17 minutes old

I find that a lot of people who feel confused about someone else’s sexuality or gender project that confusion onto the other person and think he or she is confused. 

Just spitballing here but...

 

[RUSF18]

Wanted to get some opinions on a situation I encountered this weekend that obviously isn't the same as what was discussed here, but is maybe a step down the path to it in a way...

We were at a gym class with our 2 year old daughter, just one of those where the kids run and play all over, nothing really organized. Maybe 15 kids between the ages of 18 months and 5. There was a 3 year old boy who was trying to climb up a ladder into a ball pit ahead of my daughter, and the boy's father kept calling him "honey"...like "you can do it honey". Heard him call him the same name other times casually, right up until "time to leave honey". 

I was a bit surprised that it stood out to me like that and then started wondering if it was something that should surprise me. And I wasn't until my wife mentioned something to me a bit later (turns out she knew the wife) like "if we had a son, would you call him 'honey'?" that I said I couldn't see myself doing that. To me, the "that" was calling a boy what I took to be a more effeminate term of endearment. 

But then I also realized that I would think it was perfectly normal for a female to call any male that they were in a relationship with "honey" so maybe it's not really about being an effeminate word. Maybe I associate it more with sexual love than parental love? Curious of other opinions on this. If you have a boy, do you ever refer to him as "honey" or something like that? 

For the record, I'm not saying this father shouldn't call his son whatever he wants. Showing love is the important thing here. And if it matters, where I live is only slightly less liberal than OP.

Thanks, will hang up and listen.

 

[matuski]

Two thoughts:

1) I don't believe the OP as described.

2) Human beings have a hard time accepting/handling people who are different from them, and come up with all sorts of justifications for it.

 

[El Floppo]

Wanted to get some opinions on a situation I encountered this weekend that obviously isn't the same as what was discussed here, but is maybe a step down the path to it in a way...

We were at a gym class with our 2 year old daughter, just one of those where the kids run and play all over, nothing really organized. Maybe 15 kids between the ages of 18 months and 5. There was a 3 year old boy who was trying to climb up a ladder into a ball pit ahead of my daughter, and the boy's father kept calling him "honey"...like "you can do it honey". Heard him call him the same name other times casually, right up until "time to leave honey". 

I was a bit surprised that it stood out to me like that and then started wondering if it was something that should surprise me. And I wasn't until my wife mentioned something to me a bit later (turns out she knew the wife) like "if we had a son, would you call him 'honey'?" that I said I couldn't see myself doing that. To me, the "that" was calling a boy what I took to be a more effeminate term of endearment. 

But then I also realized that I would think it was perfectly normal for a female to call any male that they were in a relationship with "honey" so maybe it's not really about being an effeminate word. Maybe I associate it more with sexual love than parental love? Curious of other opinions on this. If you have a boy, do you ever refer to him as "honey" or something like that? 

For the record, I'm not saying this father shouldn't call his son whatever he wants. Showing love is the important thing here. And if it matters, where I live is only slightly less liberal than OP.

Thanks, will hang up and listen.

wife and I call each other "hon"... I don't think I've ever used that for the kids- historically reserved for SO and not kids in my lexicon.

as such, let's get FC on the case here and expose this ####### liberal monster who wants to make his son his SO.

 

[fantasycurse42]

Man this forum is brutal sometimes (far far more often then it should be imo). 

Those of you jumping on @fantasycurse42 about minding his own business are just looking for a chance pile on.  He is minding his own business.  Having a discussion in the privacy of his own home with his wife and simply posting a question here to gauge where he's at with his though process are somehow not acceptable now?  This is somehow not minding his own business. Really?  

Agree with his thought or not (which he asked for input on), but the need for the group attack here is crazy.

It’s the group mentality, comfortable in packs, it translates away from here too. I find it entertaining.

At first I was an ####### bc my opinion was these parents forced this on a child, now it’s not real - clearly some people have never been to super liberal Brooklyn, where there is a base of liberals so progressive, they don’t like regular liberals - the kind of group that cheers chasing Amazon and 25k jobs away. That’s another story, and I’m torn on it as I’m not a huge fan of the tax subsidies, but the benefits their HQ bring are also undeniable. 

Regardless, one or two posters hit the nail on the head by saying if the child is happy that’s all that matters - after some thought, I agree with that 100% and will leave it at that. 

 

[The_Man]

Like just about anything else related to raising children, I think it depends on the kid. If it is doing emotional damage to them to try to be a gender they don't identify with, I say start the process whenever it makes sense.

Also, and this is just my opinion, if I was sure my son wanted to be a woman, I would try and make sure the surgery happens before puberty. No need for a flood of testosterone to irrevocably change their body/face to something they hate.

Just to help people understand, there are no medical interventions at all prior to puberty, let alone surgery which takes place almost exclusively in people age 18+ and often doesn't happen at all.

There can be "social transitioning" in kids - calling them by a different name, referring to them as a different gender, letting them dress however they want.

Puberty is often a crisis moment for transgender kids. Ones who have been able to "get by," often without even telling their parents how they feel, can no longer ignore their own physical development, nor hide it from the world. This is why a lot of times people feel like a kid "suddenly became transgender" when they reach adolescence. More often, what happens is that a kid who has known they're transgender for years now has to share that information with their parents. A kid that was once happy being a tomboy can't get by as a guy once they have breasts.

So as puberty gets ready to start, kids can taking puberty-blocking hormones. You can read about them here. That enables a tomboy, for example, to remain a tomboy longer without having to begin taking testosterone. As kids get older, and more affirmed in their gender identity, then they can explore taking hormones that will give them some of the characteristics of the desired gender. Eventually, after age 18, doctors will consider gender reassignment surgery. Virtually no such surgery takes place before then.

For the vast majority of transgender people, any eventual surgery is limited to the "top" and is about enabling that person to live socially with the gender they desire. "Bottom" surgery is very rare - some studies say it's as few as 1 percent of transgender people. Gender is much more about societal roles and how people live their lives, not about the shape of their parts. 

Back in my day, I wasn't ever "homophobic" but I made jokes about gay guys and was generally insensitive and a jerk. Times have changed and I have come to realize that people are just people, regardless of their sexuality, just like they are regardless of their race or religion. I believe the same is true for people's gender, and that society will eventually be understanding of transgender people. But for right now, I feel transgender people come in for a lot of the kind of reactions that gay people got a generation ago - snickers, snide comments, judgment and pseudoscientific analysis among them.

 

[El Floppo]

It’s the group mentality, comfortable in packs, it translates away from here too. I find it entertaining.

At first I was an ####### bc my opinion was these parents forced this on a child, now it’s not real - clearly some people have never been to super liberal Brooklyn, where there is a base of liberals so progressive, they don’t like regular liberals - the kind of group that cheers chasing Amazon and 25k jobs away. That’s another story, and I’m torn on it as I’m not a huge fan of the tax subsidies, but the benefits their HQ bring are also undeniable. 

Regardless, one or two posters hit the nail on the head by saying if the child is happy that’s all that matters - after some thought, I agree with that 100% and will leave it at that. 

I'm not arguing with you here at all- but do you still feel with certainty that the parents are inflicting this on the child against the kid's will? 

 

[Short Corner]

I think "tomboy" can run along these lines.  It means different things to different people.  How far does someone need push outside the traditional gender roles to be considered transgendered?  Should I leave that up to a 5 year old?  I don't recall being sexualized as a 5 years old. 

The political angle was declared by the American association of Pediatric doctors.  Should a doctor operate by science or by their political beliefs?  I mean you are backing them into a corner and making them pick one side or the other...

Why does it need to be sexual?  Why can't it be simple attraction?

 

[fantasycurse42]

I'm not arguing with you here at all- but do you still feel with certainty that the parents are inflicting this on the child against the kid's will? 

I think they were influential in the past. My opinion is if you put makeup or dress a majority of 2 year old boys up, they’ll find it funny and enjoy it, even though the overwhelming majority aren’t transgendered. It’s all the child knows for basically the entirety of her life.

At this juncture she appears happy, so it really doesn’t warrant anymore thought from me, as that is paramount to all. 

 

[El Floppo]

I think they were influential in the past. My opinion is if you put makeup or dress a majority of 2 year old boys up, they’ll find it funny and enjoy it, even though the overwhelming majority aren’t transgendered. It’s all the child knows for basically the entirety of her life.

At this juncture she appears happy, so it really doesn’t warrant anymore thought from me, as that is paramount to all. 

did you see my post above about my daughter about putting makeup on herself... probably younger than 2... and then wanting mommy to do it for her, and take pictures. I mentioned it because this was my daughter's desire, not us "putting makeup or dress" on her. I don't think we're unique here, and genuinely believe most people are going that route with their kids and not forcing them do it.... which is how I've interpreted what you've presented here. I obviously don't know these parents or kids, but based on what's been presented in here so far it still comes across like you're imposing your own point of view or judgement onto these ####### liberal parents based on the kid presenting differently... which IMO is what initiated the blow-back in here.

 

[fantasycurse42]

did you see my post above about my daughter about putting makeup on herself... probably younger than 2... and then wanting mommy to do it for her, and take pictures. I mentioned it because this was my daughter's desire, not us "putting makeup or dress" on her. I don't think we're unique here, and genuinely believe most people are going that route with their kids and not forcing them do it.... which is how I've interpreted what you've presented here. I obviously don't know these parents or kids, but based on what's been presented in here so far it still comes across like you're imposing your own point of view or judgement onto these ####### liberal parents based on the kid presenting differently... which IMO is what initiated the blow-back in here.

I did, but I've got my opinion here, which regardless I don't feel like debating as it really doesn't warrant any additional time. The kid appears happy, so it really isn't worth debating or arguing. 

And imo, these "####### liberal parents" are this new breed of super progressives, well beyond a typical liberal - I dislike them the same as I dislike the uneducated MAGA crowd. They're exactly the same to me, just on opposite ends of the spectrum.

 

[Hot Diggity Dog]

If the FFA pools its money together, we could afford two Jump to Conclusions mats.

One for FC42, one for Otis.

This is our chance to do some good, people.

Is this , um,  attitude prevalent in the upper class (economically) New Yorkers?  Good gravy it is such bad shtick, real or formulated. 

 

[Henry Ford]

I'm not arguing with you here at all- but do you still feel with certainty that the parents are inflicting this on the child against the kid's will? 

I'd actually be a little impressed.  My brother can't even get his kids to eat brussel sprouts.  These people can apparently make their kid live as another gender on a whim.

 

[Henry Ford]

I think "tomboy" can run along these lines.  It means different things to different people.  How far does someone need push outside the traditional gender roles to be considered transgendered?  Should I leave that up to a 5 year old?  I don't recall being sexualized as a 5 years old. 

The political angle was declared by the American association of Pediatric doctors.  Should a doctor operate by science or by their political beliefs?  I mean you are backing them into a corner and making them pick one side or the other...

Gender isn't sexual.

 

[El Floppo]

Is this , um,  attitude prevalent in the upper class (economically) New Yorkers?  Good gravy it is such bad shtick, real or formulated. 

Jump to conclusions about NYCer #metoo

 

[Stompin' Tom Connors]

One thing I have noted is that kids are much more aware of transgender and homosexual identity than they were in my day. 

Homosexuality was still a little stigmatized growing up -- more in the form other posters have said by using "gay" as a term for lame or not socially cool, as opposed to singling out homosexuals, but there was still some visible homophobia and I don't think many kids in high school felt encouraged to "come out" publicly (though there were a handfull, it was more rare).

Now, kids seem to come across people who both are homosexual/gender alternative more and seem, at least gauging by my kids' experience (on in middle school, on in high school). My older son has a friend group where a number have said they were bi-sexual, way before actually having sex (so far as he knew), and both know kids who are openly gay or transgender (dressing/acting more of the other sex than actual surgery). And it all seems quite normal to them, as opposed to something they call out as weird or truly different.

While kids are much more aware, I have no idea if it is actually tolerated more these days -- and I hope the signals above translate to more tolerance, especially at those ages where the blowback from peers/social stigma can be the hardest. But I do recognize that awareness is different than tolerance. 

 

[Dr. Octopus]

I'd actually be a little impressed.  My brother can't even get his kids to eat brussel sprouts.  These people can apparently make their kid live as another gender on a whim.

I asked a question earlier that went unanswered but would anyone here who thinks these parents are forcing this boy to wear a dress have willing worn a dress to first grade just because their parents asked them to? It just doesn't seem logical.

 

[ProstheticRGK]

One thing I have noted is that kids are much more aware of transgender and homosexual identity than they were in my day. 

Homosexuality was still a little stigmatized growing up -- more in the form other posters have said by using "gay" as a term for lame or not socially cool, as opposed to singling out homosexuals, but there was still some visible homophobia and I don't think many kids in high school felt encouraged to "come out" publicly (though there were a handfull, it was more rare).

Now, kids seem to come across people who both are homosexual/gender alternative more and seem, at least gauging by my kids' experience (on in middle school, on in high school). My older son has a friend group where a number have said they were bi-sexual, way before actually having sex (so far as he knew), and both know kids who are openly gay or transgender (dressing/acting more of the other sex than actual surgery). And it all seems quite normal to them, as opposed to something they call out as weird or truly different.

While kids are much more aware, I have no idea if it is actually tolerated more these days -- and I hope the signals above translate to more tolerance, especially at those ages where the blowback from peers/social stigma can be the hardest. But I do recognize that awareness is different than tolerance. 

Social change is glacially slow. I hope my kids are more tolerant/aware than I was/am. I know I must have unwittingly contributed to my kids using homophobic language- and that makes me feel bad. I want to counteract that, by being an advocate with them for not ostracizing people for being different.

But, the main reason I correct them now is this: if they were ever to come out as gay or bi or whatever else, I don't want them to have even a hint of self-doubt as to how much I love them and support them for exactly who they are. I don't want my kids to be gay, or bi or trans. Not because it's an aberration, but because I'd rather not see them struggle against other people's sense of morality. 

 

[The_Man]

I asked a question earlier that went unanswered but would anyone here who thinks these parents are forcing this boy to wear a dress have willing worn a dress to first grade just because their parents asked them to? It just doesn't seem logical.

I think this is a very good point. And it echoes what was said earlier about understanding of trans people lagging acceptance of gay people. 

Today, would you ever hear someone say that parents were trying to make their son gay, that they were pushing him to be attracted to boys but not girls?

It sounds ridiculous. Likewise, I don't think parents are out there trying to make their kids transgender.

What looks to some like "pushing" a behavior is much more likely to be acceptance of a behavior that the kid is already demonstrating.

 

[Stompin' Tom Connors]

I asked a question earlier that went unanswered but would anyone here who thinks these parents are forcing this boy to wear a dress have willing worn a dress to first grade just because their parents asked them to? It just doesn't seem logical.

I know I had to do a lot of things against my will as a kid because my parents asked me to -- clean my room, eat my vegetables, etc.

I think wearing a dress to school might have even be more acceptable/preferable to me than eating green beans back in that day.

I am not sure what that means in the context of this presented situation, though. Like you, I think assuming that the parents are forcing the kid to dress counter to their biological gender is more than thin, but it doesn't make it impossible.

I still know that I wouldn't be digging into the situation to find out whether this is the case or not. But it does make me curious about what I'd do if I had "demonstrable proof" (to the extent anything like that could even be proven) that the parents were forcing their kid to do this.

In this thought experiment, I can see both sides of the argument of sticking your nose in or not. I think I would still err on the side of keeping my own nose out of others' business, but there is a kid's potential welfare involved now.

 

[Green and Gold]

Just to help people understand, there are no medical interventions at all prior to puberty, let alone surgery which takes place almost exclusively in people age 18+ and often doesn't happen at all.

There can be "social transitioning" in kids - calling them by a different name, referring to them as a different gender, letting them dress however they want.

Puberty is often a crisis moment for transgender kids. Ones who have been able to "get by," often without even telling their parents how they feel, can no longer ignore their own physical development, nor hide it from the world. This is why a lot of times people feel like a kid "suddenly became transgender" when they reach adolescence. More often, what happens is that a kid who has known they're transgender for years now has to share that information with their parents. A kid that was once happy being a tomboy can't get by as a guy once they have breasts.

So as puberty gets ready to start, kids can taking puberty-blocking hormones. You can read about them here. That enables a tomboy, for example, to remain a tomboy longer without having to begin taking testosterone. As kids get older, and more affirmed in their gender identity, then they can explore taking hormones that will give them some of the characteristics of the desired gender. Eventually, after age 18, doctors will consider gender reassignment surgery. Virtually no such surgery takes place before then.

For the vast majority of transgender people, any eventual surgery is limited to the "top" and is about enabling that person to live socially with the gender they desire. "Bottom" surgery is very rare - some studies say it's as few as 1 percent of transgender people. Gender is much more about societal roles and how people live their lives, not about the shape of their parts. 

Back in my day, I wasn't ever "homophobic" but I made jokes about gay guys and was generally insensitive and a jerk. Times have changed and I have come to realize that people are just people, regardless of their sexuality, just like they are regardless of their race or religion. I believe the same is true for people's gender, and that society will eventually be understanding of transgender people. But for right now, I feel transgender people come in for a lot of the kind of reactions that gay people got a generation ago - snickers, snide comments, judgment and pseudoscientific analysis among them.

Thank you, that was educational.

 

[ProstheticRGK]

Social change is glacially slow. I hope my kids are more tolerant/aware than I was/am. I know I must have unwittingly contributed to my kids using homophobic language- and that makes me feel bad. I want to counteract that, by being an advocate with them for not ostracizing people for being different.

But, the main reason I correct them now is this: if they were ever to come out as gay or bi or whatever else, I don't want them to have even a hint of self-doubt as to how much I love them and support them for exactly who they are. I don't want my kids to be gay, or bi or trans. Not because it's an aberration, but because I'd rather not see them struggle against other people's sense of morality. 

Well, i'm really glad I made this choice to stress how I would love my kids regardless, and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. My 18-year-old son came out to my wife this afternoon, while I was sleeping. We are about to head out and grab some frozen yogurt and chat. I guess I knew, kinda. She said he mentioned it was easier for him to come out because of how much I always stressed we treat people the same. I'm really grateful that I did that, now.

 

[Rove!]

I have a friend with a 4 year old girl that insists on dressing, playing and acting like a boy.   Haircut,  clothes and everything.

parents are not liberal and are actually concerned with the potential issues that come along with this.

Some kids are just born like this, guy.  Pull your head out.

Do haircuts, playing and clothes define gender?

 

[Henry Ford]

Do haircuts, playing and clothes define gender?

Other way around in our society, generally.  But yeah, those are part of the whole gender issue.

 

[Rove!]

Other way around in our society, generally.  But yeah, those are part of the whole gender issue.

I take issue with this whole aspect because it reinforces and glorifies gender stereotypes.

 

[Henry Ford]

I take issue with this whole aspect because it reinforces and glorifies gender stereotypes.

I think it's a tough situation.  But when parents are "concerned with the potential issues that come along with this" as stated by that poster, I don't think it's really in question that gender is being defined like that in our society, it's just a matter of whether we want that and what the ramifications are of that.  I think jettisoning gender sounds intriguing, and allowing people to simply be fluid in their expressions of gendered social norms sounds intriguing.  Not sure when or if we'll get there as a society.  But it would certainly seem to address all of the societal issues of homosexual or transgender concerns on first blush without the need for those kinds of descriptors.

 

[dgreen]

Need to read this thread. The other day, my wife overheard a neighborhood kid (boy) say to another neighborhood kid (girl) something like "I touched your privates. You're a boy!" (I'd guess they are both around 4th grade.) My wife said something to the boy telling him to not touch other people like that and to not say things like that. She said he was embarrassed when she approached him about it. My wife then decided she needed to mention this to the girl's mom and encourage her to talk to the boy's parents.

When my wife talked to the girl's mom, she revealed that the girl now identifies as a boy and has a new name. This definitely surprised my wife, she told me, and is now talking about how we go about talking to our kids about it. Apparently our kids already know this news, but we're now wondering how we approach it with them.

For now, my only reaction is to say that we shouldn't make a huge deal out of it, tell our kids not to treat people differently because of this, they should encourage others not to make fun of others because of this, call people by the name they prefer, and stress that they don't know what other people are feeling/going through and sometimes it's hard to understand why people make certain decisions because of this lack of knowledge. And we'll ask them if they have any questions (which I'm sure we can't answer).

We're also Christian and will want to understand how to approach this from that angle. I think our current plan already does that by telling our kids to, in short, love others, but obviously there's a typical thought that we "should" be opposed something here. And I'd like more evidence of that opposition from a Christian standpoint than hearing from friends who have no real special knowledge in this area.

Like I said, I really need to take the time to read this thread.

 

[The_Man]

This definitely surprised my wife, she told me, and is now talking about how we go about talking to our kids about it. Apparently our kids already know this news, but we're now wondering how we approach it with them.

For now, my only reaction is to say that we shouldn't make a huge deal out of it, tell our kids not to treat people differently because of this, they should encourage others not to make fun of others because of this, call people by the name they prefer, and stress that they don't know what other people are feeling/going through and sometimes it's hard to understand why people make certain decisions because of this lack of knowledge. And we'll ask them if they have any questions (which I'm sure we can't answer).

We're also Christian and will want to understand how to approach this from that angle. I think our current plan already does that by telling our kids to, in short, love others, but obviously there's a typical thought that we "should" be opposed something here. And I'd like more evidence of that opposition from a Christian standpoint than hearing from friends who have no real special knowledge in this area.

I think you're moving in a good direction, but I'd ask you to examine a few assumptions.

Do you need to talk to your kids about it? If they already know and are fine with it, would that conversation add anything?

Do you think your kids are treating the child differently or making fun of them? Or that others are? From what I've seen kids are much more accepting and better about this than adults. If they know, are fine with it, and are calling the child by their preferred name, then maybe saying all these things actually begins to raise issues that currently don't exist. 

Not sure how Christianity factors into this. If a little kid wants to dress a certain way and be called by a certain name, then what does anyone's faith have to do with that? Just be a decent person and call them by their preferred name. Does Jesus say it's a sin to call some by a name that's not on their birth certificate?

 

[Henry Ford]

I think you're moving in a good direction, but I'd ask you to examine a few assumptions.

Do you need to talk to your kids about it? If they already know and are fine with it, would that conversation add anything?

Do you think your kids are treating the child differently or making fun of them? Or that others are? From what I've seen kids are much more accepting and better about this than adults. If they know, are fine with it, and are calling the child by their preferred name, then maybe saying all these things actually begins to raise issues that currently don't exist. 

Not sure how Christianity factors into this. If a little kid wants to dress a certain way and be called by a certain name, then what does anyone's faith have to do with that? Just be a decent person and call them by their preferred name. Does Jesus say it's a sin to call some by a name that's not on their birth certificate?

I hope not, since his name was likely Yeshua.

 

[dgreen]

Do you need to talk to your kids about it? If they already know and are fine with it, would that conversation add anything?

I'm not sure if they are fine with it or not. I don't know how to know their thoughts and feelings about it unless we talk to them. I don't see a conversation subtracting anything.

Do you think your kids are treating the child differently or making fun of them? Or that others are? From what I've seen kids are much more accepting and better about this than adults. If they know, are fine with it, and are calling the child by their preferred name, then maybe saying all these things actually begins to raise issues that currently don't exist. 

I definitely agree that growing up today is different than when we were kids and maybe they can handle it better than we can. Maybe we can even learn from them through a conversation.

I'd be totally shocked if my kids are making fun of the other kid to their face. I'd be somewhat shocked to learn that they make fun of the kid behind their back. I'd be not shocked at all to learn that my kids laugh at jokes other kids make and don't stand up for this kid.

I have no idea if they are calling the child by their preferred name or not. Again, these are things that we can learn through a conversation about this. I'm not seeing the harm in a conversation as long as it's not done in a harmful way (I sound like Yogi Berra).

Not sure how Christianity factors into this. If a little kid wants to dress a certain way and be called by a certain name, then what does anyone's faith have to do with that? Just be a decent person and call them by their preferred name. Does Jesus say it's a sin to call some by a name that's not on their birth certificate?

I don't know how it factors either, but as a Christian who now has the situation two doors down from me, I think it would be appropriate to try to figure that out. I assume you'll agree that the stereotypical Christian response to this would be "That's a sin!" and maybe even be followed up with "We need to tell them they're sinning!"

I assume through some good conversation with Christians that we'd mostly all conclude that how someone dresses isn't of importance here nor is what their name is. (I'm sure there'd be some people who see a problem there, but I'd guess not too many.) But, I'm sure there's a lot of uncomfortableness with the idea of identifying with the gender/sex that is opposite of your genitals. Gender/sex is clearly seen as something different than clothing and names among the Christian community. It's typically seen as the way we were created by God. For Christians, there is definitely the idea that our identity is in Christ and not in ourselves. I think that line of thinking is what probably leads to opposition here, but I admit there are probably many other ways we seek an identity outside of Christ that we are ok with and we aren't consistent in its application.

Thanks for your input and thoughts and push for me to examine my assumptions.

 

[Ilov80s]

I live in one of the most liberal areas in the country & I’m fairly liberal with my social views. I also have no issues at all with transgendered individuals, but I feel 5 years old is a little young for this kind of major decision to be made. 

Was just looking at school pictures with my son and I ask, who’s this child? He tells me that’s xyz, I’m just like oh okay. I ask my wife, do you know xyz is a girl? She tells me yes, I’ve told you about xyz, he has a transgendered child in his class, you never listen to anything I say. Xyz has been dressing as a girl her whole life, with the makeup and growing her hair long, & dresses, etc. 

I’m sorry Mrs Curse, this conversation would’ve registered, we never discussed this. 

Anyways, these liberal ######## parents have basically decided to turn their boy into a girl, from what I’ve gathered. At 2, 3, 4, 5 years old, this isn’t really a decision a child makes without the influence of parents. These parents disgust me, I can only imagine the conversations these super liberal yuk yuks have - oh Jimmy wants to be a girl, we have this amazing transgendered child and we’re so proud. That’s how I can picture their conversations going. 

This board is pretty liberal, is my line of thinking wrong? Just looking for some perspective.

I've written about his quite a bit in the Transgendered thread as I have a niece who went through this change at a similar age. If you want some genuine insight, check it out. 

 

[Ilov80s]

And yes I do think your line of thinking is wrong. I think we all wish she wouldn't have been transgendered. Not that we have a problem but it has mad her life so much difficult. They have had to change schools, have lost friends, spent a lot on counseling because with it there has been a lot of anxiety and stress on the child, etc.