dickey moe
Fingerpicker
You tried your best. T & P for you guys.
Brutal updates and I'm sorry for everything. Really curious to see what the doctors and counselor say.They're not involved, but we may get with them. For now, Padme is still at the hospital. I'm going to talk with the counselor and psychiatrist tomorrow to see what their feelings are about Padme’s outburst today.
It's literally like two different people. She's been nice and sweet all week when meeting with doctors, counselors, and psychiatrists. I had a really great session with her today at 1:00 with the psychiatrist.
Then my wife met with her and the counselor and Padme went into attack mode. My wife was crying, Padme was mocking my wife for crying, and the counselor didn't know what to say - I think she was stunned by Padme’s viciousness.
Like I said earlier, this girl may very well be a ligitimate sociopath.
That is the mode that I'm switching to. If I have to toss Padme aside to save my wife and two sons, I will. I love this kid but not as much as I love my family. At some time I may need to decide between her and them, and she will lose.Wow, don't let her ruin your life.
A coworker adopted a daughter with problems long ago. It's been a really rough ride the whole way, running away from home, I think some suicide attempts, outbursts, attacks... early on, it was obvious that she was bipolar, but apparently there's something really weird about diagnosing children with bipolar disorder, and children don't really meet the description... so to get proper treatment, she had to wait until she was a certain age or exhibited some extra symptoms. Goofy stuff.They're not involved, but we may get with them. For now, Padme is still at the hospital. I'm going to talk with the counselor and psychiatrist tomorrow to see what their feelings are about Padme’s outburst today.
It's literally like two different people. She's been nice and sweet all week when meeting with doctors, counselors, and psychiatrists. I had a really great session with her today at 1:00 with the psychiatrist.
Then my wife met with her and the counselor and Padme went into attack mode. My wife was crying, Padme was mocking my wife for crying, and the counselor didn't know what to say - I think she was stunned by Padme’s viciousness.
Like I said earlier, this girl may very well be a ligitimate sociopath.
When it comes to children, a psychiatrist will never diagnose sociopathy, psychopathy, or any other life-defining diagnosis like that. The brain can change, and Padme is only 12 years old.A coworker adopted a daughter with problems long ago. It's been a really rough ride the whole way, running away from home, I think some suicide attempts, outbursts, attacks... early on, it was obvious that she was bipolar, but apparently there's something really weird about diagnosing children with bipolar disorder, and children don't really meet the description... so to get proper treatment, she had to wait until she was a certain age or exhibited some extra symptoms. Goofy stuff.
Anyway, she was a carnie for a while, now is back at home and coworker is raising his grandkids. He's a saint for what he's done, but I know I couldn't have done it. Good luck sorting this all out, MikeIke.
BPD is tough. Sorry you have that on your plate.I've had quite a bit of experience with borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder through my wife. I see a LOT of the same things in Padme.
You're right, and the psychiatrist has mentioned that she seems to have genuine feelings toward her sister so that tends to disqualify sociopathy. There ARE emotions there, which a genuine sociopath wouldn't have. That's what leads me toward a malignant narcissist disorder diagnosis - she has feelings but only for those that she invites into her inner circle. Everyone else, they don't matter.BPD is tough. Sorry you have that on your plate.
I'm not saying you should stick it out or jump ship, but do you find it that shocking she only cares about herself and her sister after her craptastic family upbringing? I can understand how that might have been developed over the years. And isn't her caring about her sister a point against lacking any empathy?
On a curious and mostly unrelated note, sociopath behavior isn't a genetic destiny.
As you should. If it reaches that point you'll be making the right move to put your sons and wife (and yourself) out of harm's way by removing the problem.You're right, and the psychiatrist has mentioned that she seems to have genuine feelings toward her sister so that tends to disqualify sociopathy. There ARE emotions there, which a genuine sociopath wouldn't have. That's what leads me toward a malignant narcissist disorder diagnosis - she has feelings but only for those that she invites into her inner circle. Everyone else, they don't matter.
Unfortunately, the people that she's living with fall I to that "don't matter" category. And that's me, my wife, and our two sons.
I'm reaching the point where I have to decide between saving this girl or saving my family. If that's the question, I choose my family every time.
If I were to guess, I'd say your wife is going to really paint Padme black after that counseling session. Long lasting damage for their relationship. Am I in the ballpark of how you see it?I've had quite a bit of experience with borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder through my wife. I see a LOT of the same things in Padme.
Tough decision Mike, but no one would fault you for that. You and your wife (and family) have given this your all.I honestly don't want her to come back to our house. I wouldn't mind her being institutionalized and letting my family get back to normal.
I agree with Frosty, but this is one tough spot to be in. I'm so sorry this is going this way.This is heart breaking. And I agree if you feel you need to choose between your family and Padme, you need to choose your family. But you also took a huge risk and did a great, brave thing. Remember she's a child who has been screwed basically since birth and you might be her only lifeline. Again, choose your family first and feel no shame whatsoever if things won't work with her. But at least try to remember she needs help and a family.
This is much easier said than done. Good luck, whatever you choose. You still did a great thing, no matter how it works out.
ThisDon't give up on this poor child. Unless you need to. Ugh. I don't even know how to write what I'm trying to say.
I think its very fair to feel this way. I'm sorry it has come to this. Best wishes and I hope things work out for your family and Padme fights through her own demons.I honestly don't want her to come back to our house. I wouldn't mind her being institutionalized and letting my family get back to normal.
Agreed. Same thing I was thinking. She IS a member of your family, and it would be no different if this were a birth child displaying this behavior. It eventually gets to the point of protecting yourself and the rest of your family, and it sounds like you're there. Hopefully she gets the long term care she clearly needs, but if not, you have to make the decision that protects your family. I don't envy the choice that you'd have to make if it comes to that, but as others have said, much respect for the steps you've taken thus far. T&P, GB.This
before making any final decisions, ask yourself this - if she was a daughter by birth what other things would you try. Wrote these things down. Meet w the psychologists / etc who are helping, ask them what other things you might try.
Build a good options list and evaluate it. There are options here
God bless, friend. It's the old Maxim, "no good deed goes unpunished".I honestly don't want her to come back to our house. I wouldn't mind her being institutionalized and letting my family get back to normal.
not having all the context.. but reading this reminded me of what the doctors & nurses told us when my kids were born about "purple crying".Worst week yet. Padme had a suicide attempt (overdose of Tylenol and Advil) Saturday. We put her in the psych ward at Children's Hospital Sunday night.
She'd made progress throughout the week but today she had a session with my wife and the counselor and it was an absolute mess.
The hospital folks have been telling me how great Padme is - so pleasant, so sweet. Then when my wife saw her tonight Padme went into attack mode and said every hurtful thing she could think of. My wife is devastated.
I have no idea what happens next but it doesn't look good.
I regret ever taking her in.