The Colonblow Diaries (2 Viewers)

[tommyboy]

you should eat a quarter and see what happens.i bet it comes out polished and brand new lookin

 

[RoarinSonoran]

you should eat a quarter and see what happens.i bet it comes out polished and brand new lookin

Cool, if that works, I have a whole bag of old pennies and Indian head nickels to send to VD for cleaning!

 

[tdk_316]

Congrats VD, as you have changed my perspective on the FFA. I usually ues it as an escape from the mundane aspects of my job. Teh Colonblow Diaries not only have me logging in on weekends, but anxoiusly awating the next installment. While you are experiencing all the pain, looseness, and gas associated with the cleansing of your colon, take heart that others like myself are following your story with some kind of sick, morbid fascination.Keep up the good work

 

[Hipple Long Ware & Peete]

If I got screwed, at least it wasn't with girth, if you dig.

:rotflmao:

 

[Hipple Long Ware & Peete]

Just so long as the mountain has nice public bathrooms that get serviced regularly.

This is NOT what you want to read in a 'colon'-talk thread....

 

[Hipple Long Ware & Peete]

little hairs near my backside exit may be starting to stick together.

Is this a Harry Colon problem :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

 

[Hipple Long Ware & Peete]

how could you misspell every one of those words?

 

[Hipple Long Ware & Peete]

While I sit here and wonder why we haven't heard from VD in 6 hours, I'll share a little story.In the past I could not have possibly conceived that there would be a thread that calls for this story. Well, to my amazement, here it is.Several years ago my wife was having some problems. The plumbing was chronically stopped up. She goes to the Dr. He says they need to do a colonoscopy or sigmoidoscopy -- I forget which, and what the difference is. Anyway, she had to do the "quit eating and drink a 50 gallon drum" of a certain clear liquid laxative to clean out the colon.That night, I accompanied her to the Walgreen store closest to us. She's wandering around picking up a few household items -- kleenex, some ibuprofen, maybe soft drinks, whatever, as she's heading to the pharmacy. All the other stuff is in the shopping cart and she realizes we need toilet paper. Being thrifty, she grabs a 24 pack super saver. She throws this thing up under her arm, walks straight to the pharmacist, and say, "Do you have the gallon size of Colite"?Obviously, words on paper (or a screen in this case) don't convey the humor. Suffice it to say, the mental image of a lady holding a 24 pack of TP and asking for a gallon of colon cleansing laxative brought the house down.Yes, I've reminded her of it many times.

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

 

[Hipple Long Ware & Peete]

WTYA

 

[Hipple Long Ware & Peete]

Second, I'm convinced rumors that doing this for any length of time will result in a spiritual and physical renewal of any sort are bunk of the highest order. I awoke this morning feeling like death warmed over. Instead of the hour/hour-and-a-half of productivity I generally like to have in by 9:30, I've spent that time staring blindly ahead like a Pink Floyd fan.

YOu should write a book. Not on this topic, #### that. But you have a very good use of metaphor.

 

[Hipple Long Ware & Peete]

So this girl just called me and said 'what are you doing'.I lied.

 

[KidSwede]

Day 3, 4:15 PM

....and entered the bowl easily -- Louganis-like.

These are not small, garden variety pockets of gas. These are the things of miners' nightmares.

....are the same sounds that come from that last, dark stall in every Interstate rest stop you've ever been in. The stall everyone glaces at with fear and awe, but none will let their glace remain overlong on.

that is professional grade funny #### to me.....Viv continues to shock & awe the faithful.

 

[cactus]

Day 3, 4:15 PM

I'm writing this specifically to address the above-raised question of explosiveness. In a word: yes.

In other words, his butthole is no curmudgeon.

 

[jplvr]

Day 3, 4:15 PM

I'm writing this specifically to address the above-raised question of explosiveness. In a word: yes. This is not an answer I could have given honestly 24 hours ago, when despite the liquidy nature of things, everything still slid out smooth and entered the bowl easily -- Louganis-like.

Today, though, things have taken a curious turn. For want of a better explanation, pockets of gas seem to have been introduced, somehow. These are not small, garden variety pockets of gas. These are the things of miners' nightmares.

Now under the best of circumstances, when such a gas pocket reaches the end of the line (as it were), the result is a tad more extravagant than simple, benign flatulence. But combine that with a certain bowel looseness brought on by days of liquid-only diet, and the eruption can only be described as malevolent and godless. The sorts of sounds issuing from my heinie are the same sounds that come from that last, dark stall in every Interstate rest stop you've ever been in. The stall everyone glaces at with fear and awe, but none will let their glace remain overlong on. You know what I'm talking about. You hurry about your business and hope to whatever god you believe in that you can zip up and be back in your car and on your way before whoever is in there finishes up.

So, back to the point: yes, explosive. I hadn't really thought about the hemorrhoidal ramifications of that, but thanks for drawing my attention to the possibility.

I cried during this post. I feel no remorse at this being my sole focus when gaining access to the internet after an extended absence.BTW, when I'm in a public restroom all alone and someone else enters the facility w/ me, I'm one of those people that waits for said person to get situated and begin the chorus of the most god-awful straining noises known to man. Makes for some interesting reactions. I actually got someone to get up and run from the restroom before... one of my all-time greatest achievements.

 

[jplvr]

I see Hipple has caught up in the thread.

 

[prosopis]

This is good #### keep it coming!!!!!!!!!!!I have lost 20lbs in the last 4 mos and I am thinking of trying this. If I could get all the toxins out and lose another 4lbs doing it that would be great.Can you get the same effect with metamucil,exlax, or the tea?What is the benefit of lemonade,cayenne pepper,and molasses vs metamucil?Other then the comic value of course :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

 

[Mr. Nasty]

This is good #### keep it coming!!!!!!!!!!!I have lost 20lbs in the last 4 mos and I am thinking of trying this. If I could get all the toxins out and lose another 4lbs doing it that would be great.Can you get the same effect with metamucil,exlax, or the tea?What is the benefit of lemonade,cayenne pepper,and molasses vs metamucil?Other then the comic value of course :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

Can you lose 4 lbs doing this? You can lose 4 pounds in the first 3 days if the program is done correctly. I lost 20 in 10 days...none of which has been gained back in 2 years.

 

[apalmer]

VD, I hope you were able to stay off the throne long enough to enjoy that Pitt manhandling of 'Cuse.

 

[Vivian Darkbloom]

VD, I hope you were able to stay off the throne long enough to enjoy that Pitt manhandling of 'Cuse.

 

[Capella]

This is good #### keep it coming!!!!!!!!!!!I have lost 20lbs in the last 4 mos and I am thinking of trying this. If I could get all the toxins out and lose another 4lbs doing it that would be great.Can you get the same effect with metamucil,exlax, or the tea?What is the benefit of lemonade,cayenne pepper,and molasses vs metamucil?Other then the comic value of course :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

Can you lose 4 lbs doing this? You can lose 4 pounds in the first 3 days if the program is done correctly. I lost 20 in 10 days...none of which has been gained back in 2 years.

20 lbs in 10 days?? What did you say you used again...I may actually consider this.

 

[ziggysux]

Well, as for the weight loss aspect of it, what's the point of losing X lbs if they're not from fat?

 

[Sea Leopard of Death]

Well, as for the weight loss aspect of it, what's the point of losing X lbs if they're not from fat?

On top of that, what's the point when you're not changing your diet permanently. :rotflmao: You getting ready for the prom, Capella?

 

[Capella]

On top of that, what's the point when you're not changing your diet permanently. :rotflmao:

I've changed my diet permanently. I haven't had a bite of red meat since July, haven't had a sip of regular soda in 9 months and have largely cut fried foods and fatty foods such as pizza and ice cream oot.Exercise a decent amount and I lost a lot of weight. But I want to lose more and have seemed to stall. If this really works, I may consider it.

You getting ready for the prom, Capella?

Not interested in your proposals.

 

[Vivian Darkbloom]

On top of that, what's the point when you're not changing your diet permanently. :rotflmao:

I've changed my diet permanently. I haven't had a bite of red meat since July, haven't had a sip of regular soda in 9 months and have largely cut fried foods and fatty foods such as pizza and ice cream oot.Exercise a decent amount and I lost a lot of weight. But I want to lose more and have seemed to stall. If this really works, I may consider it.Not interested in your proposals.

W/r/t this: just hopped on the scale.Down from 218 lbs at start of project to 212 now. 3 days in.To be fair though, judging from the all-too-real similarities between what's flowing from my ### and the Amazon River, it's probably safe to assume it's mostly water weight.

 

[Sea Leopard of Death]

On top of that, what's the point when you're not changing your diet permanently. :rotflmao:

I've changed my diet permanently. I haven't had a bite of red meat since July, haven't had a sip of regular soda in 9 months and have largely cut fried foods and fatty foods such as pizza and ice cream oot.Exercise a decent amount and I lost a lot of weight. But I want to lose more and have seemed to stall. If this really works, I may consider it.Not interested in your proposals.

:swingandamiss:What, are you gonna keep drinking that butt-liquid forever? Capella, after you're done with this, what will your diet be? It will be the same one you're on now...right? Meaning you will gain whatever weight you lost, back.I can't believe I just had to explain that to you... :rotflmao: rom:SLoD

 

[Capella]

On top of that, what's the point when you're not changing your diet permanently.  :rotflmao:

I've changed my diet permanently. I haven't had a bite of red meat since July, haven't had a sip of regular soda in 9 months and have largely cut fried foods and fatty foods such as pizza and ice cream oot.Exercise a decent amount and I lost a lot of weight. But I want to lose more and have seemed to stall. If this really works, I may consider it.Not interested in your proposals.

:swingandamiss:What, are you gonna keep drinking that butt-liquid forever? Capella, after you're done with this, what will your diet be? It will be the same one you're on now...right? Meaning you will gain whatever weight you lost, back.I can't believe I just had to explain that to you... :rotflmao: rom:SLoD

Didn't Mr. Nasty just say a few posts above that he lost 20 lbs, then never gained it back. I don't know anything about this, but I assume you're still intaking calories through whatever mixture it is you could buy.To me, this sounds different then some gimmick like Atkins, where as soon as you let off, you balloon back up. You're cleaning the ol' system out, gotta be a lot of gunk and unnecessary waste that you're disposing of.And shouldn't you be hijacking a thread with Mr. ZarDingles right now. <_<

 

[Mr. Nasty]

On top of that, what's the point when you're not changing your diet permanently.  :rotflmao:

I've changed my diet permanently. I haven't had a bite of red meat since July, haven't had a sip of regular soda in 9 months and have largely cut fried foods and fatty foods such as pizza and ice cream oot.Exercise a decent amount and I lost a lot of weight. But I want to lose more and have seemed to stall. If this really works, I may consider it.Not interested in your proposals.

W/r/t this: just hopped on the scale.Down from 218 lbs at start of project to 212 now. 3 days in.To be fair though, judging from the all-too-real similarities between what's flowing from my ### and the Amazon River, it's probably safe to assume it's mostly water weight.

I can assure you that the weight loss is not water weight. I cannot speak for Vivian as he is on the Colonblow whereas I participated in the Master Cleanser program where you made the lemonade from Organic Grade B Maple Syrup, Lemon or Lime Juice (freshly squeezed), water and cayenne pepper. You drink 8-12 glasses of the lemonade per day along with additional water...nothing else. 10 days later, I was 20 pounds lighter although I wasn't doing it for weight loss. I haven't gained the weight back and I eat normally, drink beer, etc. I did it purely to detox my system and rid my body of the mucoid plaque that had accumulated throughout the years...the weight loss was a side-effect.If you have the willpower to stay on the program, force yourself to drink the lemonade, tons of water and the herbal laxative team every night, you will be guaranteed results. The pounds will just fall off. It is truly amazing and I would have been (and still would be) 100% skeptical if I did not do the program myself.I cannot vouch for the colonblow though as the program that I did was a little different.

 

[General Malaise]

Mr. Nasty....Viv is doing the Master Cleanse....he's drinking the lemonade and the laxatives....what's the difference btw this and what you did? other than the fact that he may give up tomorrow?

 

[Mr. Know-It-All]

Since you are close to giving up on this experiment, might I suggest using this same concoction in the form of a colonic during your last day? Fill up a hiot water bottle with the same mixture and affix the opening of the hot water bottle to tubing that can access your nether regions. Hang the the bottle from a high surface so gravity can aid in the mixtures decent. You would be cutting out the middle man by avoiding passage through the stomach lining. If you want deep cleaning, you could have someone jump on top of the mixture filled bottle to expedite delivery.

 

[Vivian Darkbloom]

Mr. Nasty....Viv is doing the Master Cleanse....he's drinking the lemonade and the laxatives....what's the difference btw this and what you did? other than the fact that he may give up tomorrow?

No difference. I call it colonblow because Master Cleanse is a really stupid name.

 

[Mr. Nasty]

Mr. Nasty....Viv is doing the Master Cleanse....he's drinking the lemonade and the laxatives....what's the difference btw this and what you did? other than the fact that he may give up tomorrow?

GM,My mistake I guess. I was under the impression that the Colonblow was different than the Master Cleanser. On the Master Cleanser program, you have to use Grade B Maple Syrup ONLY. Since I read that Viv was using Molasses, I thought that the plan was different. Supposedly, you won't achieve the same (or desired) results using anything but Grade B Maple Syrup. Grade B maple syrup contains a large variety of minerals and vitamins. These include: potassium, calcium, magnesium, manganese, iron, copper, phosphorus, sulfur, chlorine and silicon. Vitamin A, B1, B2, B6, C, nicotinic acid and pantothenic acid are also present.

The Master Cleanser program does the following....

Dissolves and eliminates toxins and congestion that have formed in any part of the body

Cleanses the kidneys and the digestive system

Purifies the glands and cells

Eliminates all unusable waste and hardened material in the joints and muscles

Builds a healthy blood stream

Relieves pressure and irritation in the nerves, arteries and blood vessels

If this truly is the same program, the syrup should be substituted for the Molasses and the "smooth move" should be taken before bedtime to insure the elimination of "crap" in the AM.

 

[General Malaise]

No difference. I call it colonblow because Master Cleanse is a really stupid name.

there's never been a time in my life where or when the term "colonblow" failed to make me snicker.

 

[WarriorsFan]

there's never been a time in my life where or when the term "colonblow" failed to make me snicker.

You should get one of the Colonblow hats that has "Poopin' is Cool!" on the back of it.VD: Stay strong, brother!

 

[bentley2]

Since you are close to giving up on this experiment, might I suggest using this same concoction in the form of a colonic during your last day? Fill up a hiot water bottle with the same mixture and affix the opening of the hot water bottle to tubing that can access your nether regions. Hang the the bottle from a high surface so gravity can aid in the mixtures decent. You would be cutting out the middle man by avoiding passage through the stomach lining. If you want deep cleaning, you could have someone jump on top of the mixture filled bottle to expedite delivery.

Frankly, this is the most disturbing post that I've ever read in the FFA. Way beyond anything Jason Swires said about Habeeby's grandma.

 

[Legion of Doom]

Frankly, this is the most disturbing post that I've ever read in the FFA. Way beyond anything Jason Swires said about Habeeby's grandma.

yep,cause he's serious

 

[Deepster]

It's Sunday and there'd been hinting that Viv was only going through today.I come to you all now asking we band together and provide this FFA icon with support and encouragement. The longer this experiment continues, the better off Viv's colon will be and the more I get to click in here and laugh like a hyena.Don't give up the fight, Viv. Keep forging ahead for all the mucus laden colons out there that don't have your fortitude.

 

[John Maddens Lunchbox]

Until you have cleansed you colon, you MUST keep going.Otherwise you have wasted 3 days.

 

[ravnzfan]

I only go once every 2, 3 or sometimes even 4 days. I drink 2 cups of coffee a day

I have spent the last 40 min getting caught up on this thread, and haven't laughed so f'in hard in I don't know how long!:takin'4AdvilfortheheadacheI bow to Viv and the hack, as they've done what I've felt I've needed to 'doo' for awhile...I'm thinkin' it's timeand trout...upgrade to a 24 oz 7-11 bucket-o-mud on the way to work and for a break in the AM...that'll get the ole' pooper into action!

 

[Steam2003]

Dissolves and eliminates toxins and congestion that have formed in any part of the body

Cleanses the kidneys and the digestive system

Purifies the glands and cells

Eliminates all unusable waste and hardened material in the joints and muscles

Builds a healthy blood stream

Relieves pressure and irritation in the nerves, arteries and blood vessels

Alright, I am going to have to call BS (literally and figuratively) on some of this, right here, right now. I have a few questions that I would like someone to clarify because this just seems like a lot a new age, mumbo jumbo. I am not going dismiss the weight loss potential of the colon blow but some of the claims made in the quote seem just a wee bit ridiculous...starting here...Dissolves and eliminates toxins and congestion that have formed in any part of the body

What exactly is considered a "toxin" in this scenario? I am looking for specifics here, not just generalizations like "all the bad things that enter your system".

Cleanses the kidneys and the digestive system

How does it "cleanse the kidney and digestive system"? I really can't say that syrup/molasses, lemons, and cayenne pepper are known for their great cleaning qualities. If that was the case, why don't we use this concoction to wash clothes with or scrub down the kitchen floors? I'll give you half credit for lemons however as they do appear in a lot of cleaning products albeit just for the scent.

Purifies the glands and cells

Which glands are being purified and how does that work? Are you trying to say that just because you swallow this bowel releasing drink and it traverses your digestive system, somehow it magically flows through all of the glands in the body? It's also my understanding of basic human biology that cells do a pretty good job on their own of elimination wastes and toxins. Why would the introduction of syrup, molasses and lemons do a better job?

Eliminates all unusable waste and hardened material in the joints and muscles

Now this is something that I would love to see. All is a pretty strong word but since it's here, I'll have to take it at face value. What kind of hardened material do we have in our joints an muscles and how does this foul-tasting drink provide more benefit than what my body was made to do naturally?

Builds a healthy blood stream

Doesn't exercise and a healthy diet pretty much solve this one? Once again, what benefit would Ms. Butterworth provide to this equation?

Relieves pressure and irritation in the nerves, arteries and blood vessels

This one just seems downright ludicrous. See all previous posts as to why.

As I mentioned above, I have real doubts about anything other than the weigh loss benefits of this routine. If your bowels are really compacted to the point of constipation and hemorrhoids, wouldn't that maybe raise the caution flag of some other problems?

There may be some other real world benefits to this whole process but based on the previously posted list of items that are resolved, this just sounds a little to "out there" to have much scientific merit.

Rebuttal?

HA, that was kind of funny...rebuttal...

[edited to correct spelling error]

[hey look at that, more spelling errors...]

 

[aardball44]

I'm really going to have to invest a weekend and read this thread sometime.rintingacopytokeepinthecrapper:

 

[prosopis]

Dissolves and eliminates toxins and congestion that have formed in any part of the body

Cleanses the kidneys and the digestive system

Purifies the glands and cells

Eliminates all unusable waste and hardened material in the joints and muscles

Builds a healthy blood stream

Relieves pressure and irritation in the nerves, arteries and blood vessels

Alright, I am going to have to call BS (literally and figuratively) on some of this, right here, right now. I have a few questions that I would like someone to clarify because this just seems like a lot a new age, mumbo jumbo. I am not going dismiss the weight loss potential of the colon blow but some of the claims made in the quote seem just a wee bit ridiculous...starting here...Dissolves and eliminates toxins and congestion that have formed in any part of the body

What exactly is considered a "toxin" in this scenario? I am looking for specifics here, not just generalizations like "all the bad things that enter your system".

Cleanses the kidneys and the digestive system

How does it "cleanse the kidney and digestive system"? I really can't say that syrup/molasses, lemons, and cayenne pepper are known for their great cleaning qualities. If that was the case, why don't we use this concoction to wash clothes with or scrub down the kitchen floors? I'll give you half credit for lemons however as they do appear in a lot of cleaning products albeit just for the scent.

Purifies the glands and cells

Which glands are being purified and how does that work? Are you trying to say that just because you swallow this bowel releasing drink and it traverses your digestive system, somehow it magically flows through all of the glands in the body? It's also my understanding of basic human biology that cells do a pretty good job on their own of elimination wastes and toxins. Why would the introduction of syrup, molasses and lemons do a better job?

Eliminates all unusable waste and hardened material in the joints and muscles

Now this is something that I would love to see. All is a pretty strong word but since it's here, I'll have to take it at face value. What kind of hardened material do we have in our joints an muscles and how does this foul-tasting drink provide more benefit than what my body was made to do naturally?

Builds a healthy blood stream

Doesn't exercise and a healthy diet pretty much solve this one? Once again, what benefit would Ms. Butterworth provide to this equation?

Relieves pressure and irritation in the nerves, arteries and blood vessels

This one just seems downright ludicrous. See all previous posts as to why.

As I mentioned above, I have real doubts about anything other than the weigh loss benefits of this routine. If your bowels are really compacted to the point of constipation and hemerrhoids, wouldn't that maybe raise the caution flag of some other problems?

There may be some other real world benefits to this whole process but based on the previously posted list of items that are resolved, this just sounds a little to "out there" to have much scientific merit.

Rebuttal?

HA, that was kind of funny...rebuttal...

[edited to correct spelling error]

I second this postI would love to get the toxins out of my body.Who woudn't?

But I to have questions as to how this could work and why isnt it in a pill form?

I fast fairly regularly and feel I could live on water for a good amount of time. So is their a pill I could take with water instead of syrup,lemons,cayenne pepper?

I digress, someone please answer the questions above.

By the way I saw Dreamcatcher last night and I couldnt get this thread out of my head with all the farting and the bathroom scene

#### Weasels :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

 

[Mr. Nasty]

Dissolves and eliminates toxins and congestion that have formed in any part of the body

Cleanses the kidneys and the digestive system

Purifies the glands and cells

Eliminates all unusable waste and hardened material in the joints and muscles

Builds a healthy blood stream

Relieves pressure and irritation in the nerves, arteries and blood vessels

Alright, I am going to have to call BS (literally and figuratively) on some of this, right here, right now. I have a few questions that I would like someone to clarify because this just seems like a lot a new age, mumbo jumbo. I am not going dismiss the weight loss potential of the colon blow but some of the claims made in the quote seem just a wee bit ridiculous...starting here...Dissolves and eliminates toxins and congestion that have formed in any part of the body

What exactly is considered a "toxin" in this scenario? I am looking for specifics here, not just generalizations like "all the bad things that enter your system".

Cleanses the kidneys and the digestive system

How does it "cleanse the kidney and digestive system"? I really can't say that syrup/molasses, lemons, and cayenne pepper are known for their great cleaning qualities. If that was the case, why don't we use this concoction to wash clothes with or scrub down the kitchen floors? I'll give you half credit for lemons however as they do appear in a lot of cleaning products albeit just for the scent.

Purifies the glands and cells

Which glands are being purified and how does that work? Are you trying to say that just because you swallow this bowel releasing drink and it traverses your digestive system, somehow it magically flows through all of the glands in the body? It's also my understanding of basic human biology that cells do a pretty good job on their own of elimination wastes and toxins. Why would the introduction of syrup, molasses and lemons do a better job?

Eliminates all unusable waste and hardened material in the joints and muscles

Now this is something that I would love to see. All is a pretty strong word but since it's here, I'll have to take it at face value. What kind of hardened material do we have in our joints an muscles and how does this foul-tasting drink provide more benefit than what my body was made to do naturally?

Builds a healthy blood stream

Doesn't exercise and a healthy diet pretty much solve this one? Once again, what benefit would Ms. Butterworth provide to this equation?

Relieves pressure and irritation in the nerves, arteries and blood vessels

This one just seems downright ludicrous. See all previous posts as to why.

As I mentioned above, I have real doubts about anything other than the weigh loss benefits of this routine. If your bowels are really compacted to the point of constipation and hemorrhoids, wouldn't that maybe raise the caution flag of some other problems?

There may be some other real world benefits to this whole process but based on the previously posted list of items that are resolved, this just sounds a little to "out there" to have much scientific merit.

Rebuttal?

HA, that was kind of funny...rebuttal...

[edited to correct spelling error]

[hey look at that, more spelling errors...]

Steam,Unfortunately, the goal here is not to make you believe in the program. If you don't believe it, then so be it...brush it aside and go on with daily life attributing this post to another urban legend, witch tale, white lie, etc. You have to wonder why people would put so much time into a post that is not credible and completely false.

If you want more info, go to Google and look up Master Cleanser by Stanley Burroughs.

If you want to believe...believe. If you don't...don't.

I am the most skeptical person in the world and I have done the program twice in 2 years (10 days each time) with amazing results. I felt the best I ever had, had the most energy that I have had and continued to work out, play hoop, etc. with no ill effects. The senses are heightened as your senses of smell and hearing increase dramatically.

Supposedly the program can also help with allergies, asthma and other ailments.

 

[KidSwede]

I don't care of it works or not, don't care to debate the issuesof possible weight loss, toxic clearing, etc., etc.I am here for the finely crafted wordsmithing and commentaryof and about my man Viv's bowels. Keep going bro, we're here for you.

 

[BassNBrew]

Dang...No new bowel movement updates in almost 20 hours. No word from Viv today, I hope he's still alive. Maybe he's at church pushing people out of the communion line and cursing at the Father for another damn wafer.

 

[aardball44]

Dang...No new bowel movement updates in almost 20 hours. No word from Viv today, I hope he's still alive. Maybe he's at church...

...sitting in his own pew?

 

[Sea Leopard of Death]

Dang...No new bowel movement updates in almost 20 hours. No word from Viv today, I hope he's still alive. Maybe he's at church...

...sitting in his own pew?

There, now...finished my morning update just in time to run to the crapper....can't wait to inspect. Don't give up, VD...there are too many here that need you. SLuDge:dungbeetle:

 

[aardball44]

What a waste of bandwith right here.

Well, yeah. Now it is. Right there.

 

[KidSwede]

What a waste of bandwith right here. The human obsession with toilet humor and #### rears it's ugly head again. (Not literally)

like you're throwing out Pulitzer material all over the place, Happy

 

[ratpfink]

edited to fix new quote tag limit:

Mr.Nastyposted on Jan 25, 2004:

"Dissolves and eliminates toxins and congestion that have formed in any part of the body

Cleanses the kidneys and the digestive system

Purifies the glands and cells

Eliminates all unusable waste and hardened material in the joints and muscles

Builds a healthy blood stream

Relieves pressure and irritation in the nerves, arteries and blood vessels "

Alright, I am going to have to call BS (literally and figuratively) on some of this, right here, right now. I have a few questions that I would like someone to clarify because this just seems like a lot a new age, mumbo jumbo.

Oh, you're absolutely wrong here. It doesn't seem like new age mumbo jumbo. It is 100% certified new age mumbo jumbo. How can I claim this with 100% certainty? See:(All quotes taken from The Master Cleanse by Stanley Burroughs. Any added emphasis is my own)

When you learn to know my ways, my ways will be your ways, in tune with the universal principals of the fullness of living in harmony with the universal mind.

THE UNIVERSAL ONE Mortals, entering the New Age of Enlightenment, have the God given right to be completely free from all diseases. This means that the standards, in the past, to exist and be retained with newer and more deadly diseases to develop, flourish and expand as newer and more deadly drugs and chemicals with weird attempts at carving out and into the body, are added to the medical arsenal, must be vacated for the Natural Divine Art of Healing.

New age bull#### #1. Note the use of the phrase "New Age." Duh?

For the novice and the advanced student alike, cleansing is basic for elimination of every kind of disease. The purpose of this book is to simplify the cause and the correction of all disorders, regardless of the name or names. As we eliminate and correct one disease, we correct them all, for every disease is corrected by the same process of cleansing and building positive good health.

Yes, it's the only cure-all you'll ever need, folks! Mumbo jumo bull#### #1. Note claim to cure anything.

At last the basic cause of disease is no longer a mystery. The basic cause is the habits of improper diet, inadequate exercise, negative mental attitudes, and lack of spiritual attunement, which combine to produce toxic conditions and malfunction of our bodies.

That's right, you eat bad and sit on your ### all day, you get hepatitis. Who doesn't believe that correlation? What, are you thinking what I'm thinking? "Germ Theory of Disease?" Ha! Burroughs has that covered as well:

Germs and viruses do not and cannot cause any of our diseases, so we have no need for finding various kinds of poisons to destroy them.

Mumbo jumbo #2. Note claim that goes against rigorous scientific Theory.

Do you think that if an insignificant, microscopic microbe can appear and make you sick when you were well and strong, that you have any possibility of getting strong enough to throw them off at any time thereafter? Do you think that any destructive poisons can make it possible for you to get well and faster? All diseases, regardless of their names, come within this understanding as only varied expressions of the one disease of toxemia.

Well, I guess it could be just a coincidence that smallpox was eradicated after the discovery and use of penicillin, right? Mumbo jumbo #3. Note author's reference to life-saving antibiotics as "destructive poisons."

Since germs do not cause our disorders, there must be another logical reason for the triggering of an epidemic. This is a matter of simple “vibration.” The better the physical and mental condition a person is in, the higher becomes his vibration, but as he steadily becomes clogged with more and more waste matter, his vibration goes constantly downward until he is ready and in need of a change.

New age #2. Note use the phrase 'vibration.' New agers love 'vibration'

Lemons and limes are the richest source of minerals and vitamins of any food or foods known to man, and they are available the year round.

Mumbo jumbo #4. Just total bull####. Nutritional information for a lemon: Serving size 1 medium (58g)

Calories 20

Total Fat 0g

Sodium 10mg

Total Carbohydrate 6g

Dietary Fiber 1g

Protein 0g

% of U.S. RDA

Vitamin A 0%

Calcium 2%

Vitamin C 35%

Iron 0%

Compare this to broccoli:

Serving size 1 med. Stalk (140g)

Calories 50

Total Fat 0.5g

Sodium 70mg

Total Carbohydrate 9g

Dietary Fiber 4g

Protein 4g

% of U.S. RDA

Vitamin A 10%

Calcium 6%

Vitamin C 200%

Iron 4%

Whoops, I guess lemons aren't the "richest source of vitamins and minerals known to man" and broccoli was just off the top of my head. Of course, broccoli doesn't go as well with grade B maple syrup and cayenne pepper. On the other hand, lemons don't go as well with butter or melted cheese.

To be fair, each tablespoon of maple syrup adds 2% of your daily calcium and 1% of your daily potassium along with "small amounts of iron and phosphorous, and trace amounts of B vitamins. " Still, this winning combination hardly seems to be as vitamin and mineral packed as the author claims.

Correct food, reflex stimulation, and color therapy will assure the mother all the milk she needs for her baby.

(This from a section on giving the lemonade to babies)Mumbo jumbo #5. Note reference to "color therapy." Color therapy says that each color vibrates(there's that vibrating again, New Age #3) at a specific frequency that matches the frequency that parts of our bodies vibrate at. :wacko:

After dedicating a goodly share of my past life in perfection and simplifying a system of healing that is completely free from error and side effects at a very low cost I was forced to overcome many difficult obstacles that often threatened to stop me but I persisted in spite of the Medical and legal attacks. I was told in each case—I was doing to much good and to keep me from giving the help that solved their health problems I was sent to prison so I couldn’ t help any one any more.

What a shame that he can't help anyone anymore. After all, his quacky therapies only killed one person. What's one person against all of the victims of modern medicine!?Final tally: 5 points Mumbo Jumbo, 3 points New Age, 0 points good medicine. :(

GB New Agers

 

[aardball44]

To be fair, Burroughs does correct those simple errors of fact in his later editions.