i know we're not supposed to notice (or care - because caring about fashion is for dandies), but has anyone ever had a come to jesus moment with their significant other over their clothing?
whether that be she wears clothes for teenage girls, or she dresses 40 years older than she is, or she thinks "matching"/"coordinating colors" means wearing a green shirt, green pants, green socks, green shoes, green necklace and green earrings, etc.
my wife used to demand that i shop with her because she had no confidence picking out her own clothes. and she liked the things i complimented that others were wearing. plus, when shopping for myself i'm able to quickly visually sift through and pick things i want. her idea of wanting me to go with her was "you'll pick out things i like and it will be quick"
that worked for a while... she would make sure to tell me when she got compliments on the clothes she was wearing if i picked them out. awesome. that said, clothes shopping with my wife is TORTURE. pure. abject. torture. 3 hours in the same small store with her looking at and picking apart tiny details of every single item in the store. then trying on 3400 items and discarding all of them. torture.
long ago i told her i couldn't do it anymore. spending 11 hours on Saturday & Sunday shopping for her clothes only to come back with nothing..... was killing me.
to combat this i got her one of these clothing subscription services. the clothes they send are...... not super. lots of (imo) awful clothes. cheap material. over-priced. out of fashion. and no real coordination of goods. SHE LOVES IT. they'll send her some thigh high pleather boots, a cardigan with cats on it, some bell bottom slacks with cargo pockets and she's like "OOH! I LIKE THIS STUFF!" and i don't know what she has bought until she puts it on.
i've inadvertently armed her with the ability to shop at home and keep awful, awful, awful clothes without me being involved in the vetting process.
upside: i'm not shopping with her
downside: i'm not shopping with her
before you get all frisky this isn't one of those "you wear what i say and if i see you in something i haven't approve you get a beating" things. this is "please, for the love of god, no, denim ankle length skirts, denim jackets and denim earrings do not look good" level bad... and it's impacting her self-esteem negatively. NOT BECAUSE I'M SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT IT (i'm no idiot) but because she isn't getting compliments on her clothes at work, and she feels self-conscious when we're out.... so she has reverted to a default wardrobe of sweatshirts that are 3 sizes too large, and sweatpants.
how do i help her get better at picking clothes, color coordination and just generally understanding what fits without resuscitating What Not To Wear and having her ambushed by cameras at work??