A good friend is going through a crazy custody battle. Trial was this week. His ex wife, who had claimed that she was afraid of him, was confronted with dozens of profanity-laden texts that she had sent him, as well as some describing sex acts that she was supposedly engaging in while texting him.
She started dramatically sobbing, to the point that her own lawyer stood up and said, "Objection! Reactionary!" I have no idea what this was supposed to mean. The judicial assistants started laughing, and the judge reminded her lawyer that he couldn't object to his own witness' theatrics. Family law is the absolute worst.
I was in small claims court one time and they were calling the docket to see who had actually shown up. If your opponent doesn't show up, you win. There was an attorney there who was a year ahead of me in law school who became locally famous for flunking the bar 6 times and getting special accommodations for his seventh (and successful) try.
Judge calls "party A versus party B"
Lucky 7: "For the plaintiff, your honor."
Seeing on one else rise, judge calls for party B a couple of times, then looks to Lucky 7, expecting him to request a default judgment. Instead, Lucky 7 proudly announces, "your honor, I request this matter be dismissed."
Judge's eyes narrow and he says "excuse me?" Lucky 7 repeats his request for a dismissal. Judge instructs him to approach.
After some hushed discussion at the bench, Lucky 7 steps back and sheepishly says, "default judgment please, your honor."
"Granted."