I am starting my copy/paste project as I am worried about losing all of my Wikkid stuff. It is a nice refresher and it is amazing how far along he brought me. I can see myself improving as the messages continue. I am also somewhat struck about the leap of faith I took in accepting his offer. I remember worrying that I may be falling into a horrible catfishing trick. As time went on those fears went away. I was really lucky to have crossed paths with Dale.
I am not even halfway through my copy/paste project and I am up to 110 pages!!! It is kind of odd to relive all of what we talked about. Dale started helping me in 2017 and it was really great help. I do not know if I will be able to copy/paste everything as I am running out of time. I know I have the most important stuff. I plan on formatting it a little better and then I will use it as my personal manual. It is strange how suicide or wishing you were dead makes perfect sense when you are in that breakdown mode. I thought it made perfect sense that my not existing would be better for everyone, especially mysef. I am having a hard time putting words to it. When someones hands get dirty it makes perfect sense to wash them. The certainty in that thought was the same certainty I felt about not wanting to exist. Now as I read our correspondance I see I was insane. In hindsight what I thought made no sense at all. It's bizarre how the brain works.
I can not decide if this has been one of the worst strolls down memory lane or the best.