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My Brother's Fiancee (1 Viewer)

Keerock said:
As his brother... you need to refuse to write the deed.  Tell him why and that you're concerned.  If he's hell bent, he can find another attorney.
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Thorn should do this after his slaps his brother in the face and tells him he should not marry this wacko. His brother is going down a dark road that will certainly end badly, do what you can now at any expense @Thorn. Any other siblings to help in this situation? And I'm assuming he's the younger of you two?

 
You should set him up with a hooker like Jim Carey did to Matthew Broderick in The Cable Guy.  Take pics, make sure she gets them.  To console him after the breakup, hook him up with free cable and take him to Medieval Times for dinner.

 
Honestly, I think he dropped the ball on the coworker sending him topless pics. That's the chick he needs to be with. 

 
There are two side angles here that may be interesting/problematic.  First, I imagine it's illegal for her to impersonate him (assuming that's what happened) and request this via his e-mail.  Second, allowing her to access his work e-mail could get him fired.  Depending on the job and the sector, it may also be illegal.

Tread carefully.  I like the idea of calling him (don't write) and asking him some B.S. detail questions about how he wants the deed written, etc., to discover whether he either wrote it himself or knew about it.

 
Rich Conway said:
I like the idea of calling him (don't write) and asking him some B.S. detail questions about how he wants the deed written, etc., to discover whether he either wrote it himself or knew about it.
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Yep. 

Then refuse to write it, and refer him to someone else. 

 
Dr. Octopus said:
I don't understand the point of "impersonating" him through email. He'd obviously see any response and it isn't like you just send back a form of deed and all of a sudden she's on the deed. He'd need to sign, notaries would be involved etc.
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i don't think she's "impersonating" him, i think it's likely that she threatened to leave and the only way he believes he can save the relationship (or regain her trust) is to go all-in and offered to put her on the deed. wouldn't surprise me if he wrote that email with her sitting right next to him, dictating the whole thing. 

 
If you're acting as his attorney (and you shouldn't since you're so close), you need to sit down and advise him about common ownership, community property, prenups, etc. before you just "write up" a deed.  That allows you to pump the brakes a bit and express your concerns.  Don't make any ultimatums you'll regret later - it's his life and if he wants to go down this road, that's his decision.  Hopefully, he eventually comes to the realization that she's nuts and can get extricated pretty easily.  Whatever happens, tell him that he has to promise you that he will wait a year or two before having a kid.  That's a whole other commitment that means he's going to have a relationship with this whacko for life.

 
Quint said:
i don't think she's "impersonating" him, i think it's likely that she threatened to leave and the only way he believes he can save the relationship (or regain her trust) is to go all-in and offered to put her on the deed. wouldn't surprise me if he wrote that email with her sitting right next to him, dictating the whole thing. 
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:goodposting:  Impersonating him and asking for this just seems too crazy/illegal unless she's a true scam-artist who preys on people for a living.

 
Your brother probably needs an intervention, but it won't take.  There is nothing you can do when first regular access to ##### coincides with first sex with crazyhot.  He's already doomed.  We've lost a lot of good men this way.

While there is no working on him, she might be distracted or redirected.  She is crazy.  Work her. 

 
Real advice:

Respond back with requests for more info that are harmless just to keep the dialogue open, and say to call you to firm up some of the more complex details.

No reason to let on you are suspicious yet.

 
How old is your brother?

She's crazy no doubt, but your brother's story isn't exactly innocent and you might only be getting half of it.

 
Why not just respond back since when do you act all professional and call me by my full name?  Then ask if he nailed that hot co-worker with the nice rack again.

 
Dr. Octopus said:
I don't understand the point of "impersonating" him through email. He'd obviously see any response and it isn't like you just send back a form of deed and all of a sudden she's on the deed. He'd need to sign, notaries would be involved etc.
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This is the weirdest part for me. It's like she's being sneaky with something he'll end up seeing anyway. Why not just send the email from her account and cc ThornBro?

 
mozzy84 said:
Why not just respond back since when do you act all professional and call me by my full name?  Then ask if he nailed that hot co-worker with the nice rack again.
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That's brilliant. "You want to give over half of your house to this chick. I thought you said hot coworker as dynamite in the sack and you guys get along so well."

 
Quint said:
i don't think she's "impersonating" him, i think it's likely that she threatened to leave and the only way he believes he can save the relationship (or regain her trust) is to go all-in and offered to put her on the deed. wouldn't surprise me if he wrote that email with her sitting right next to him, dictating the whole thing. 
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well the OP seemed concerned that the writing styles did not match up and that "he" called him by his full name (which he usually did not do). Seemed unnecessary to write all that up if what you are saying was the perception.

 
reply to the email with a picture of your balloon knot. Say the co-workers starfish looks great!

 
Billy Bats said:
Thorn should do this after his slaps his brother in the face and tells him he should not marry this wacko. His brother is going down a dark road that will certainly end badly, do what you can now at any expense @Thorn. Any other siblings to help in this situation? And I'm assuming he's the younger of you two?
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I'm the oldest, there is another brother in between who lives away.  That brother went scorched earth (basically like some of the tough-guy advice here - grow a pair and tell her that's she's a psycho #####) after the phone call "admitting" cheating to my parents, and their relationship is strained as a result.  Also part of why I am hesitant to do or say anything that sends him away from the family and towards her.

 
Dr. Octopus said:
well the OP seemed concerned that the writing styles did not match up and that "he" called him by his full name (which he usually did not do). Seemed unnecessary to write all that up if what you are saying was the perception.
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maybe the unusual salutation was a (sub)liminal cry for help? 

i dunno. just trying to think like a guy who just had his wedding called off, lives with a woman who reads/snoops through all his correspondence, is getting P on the reg for the first time, and is in "full-blown can't lose her mode". 

 
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Guster said:
This is the weirdest part for me. It's like she's being sneaky with something he'll end up seeing anyway. Why not just send the email from her account and cc ThornBro?
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Not sure, but I assume he has dragged his feet and this is her warped way of forcing the issue.

 
Thorn said:
So my brother is engaged to a pretty nutty chick.  She is very jealous, reads his emails and texts, and accuses him of stuff all the time.  A couple of months ago my brother called me, my mom, and my dad one day, and with her in the background yelling, "admitted" to each of us that he had cheated on her and that the wedding was off.  The wedding is planned for summer of 2018, so I don't even know what that means, but whatever.

FWIW, the "cheating" was my brother receiving a topless pic, and going to get a happy hour drink with, a co-worker, 18 months ago.  This was before he was engaged or living with the fiancee, but after they had been going out for a while.  At any rate, nothing physical, and after the happy hour he sorta wised up and stopped communicating with the co-worker.  She discovered this by reading his old work emails.

My brother has been in full-blown "I can't lose her" mode since.  Anyway, today I get an email from his work account that starts off "Hey [my full first name]".  The email asks me to write up a deed to put fiancee on title to his condo (I'm a real estate lawyer).  It didn't read like his writing, and to confirm my suspicion, I flipped through the last 50 or so emails from him to me, and none have a salutation of any kind.  Plus he's never called me my full first name in his life.

I have no idea how to respond.  If I call her out I fear that it will be the beginning of a wedge bxt us, and the first step towards estrangement (isn't this how it starts?).  Any bright ideas?
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Sounds like my ex wife

Is your brother in AZ?

 
Thorn said:
She will badger him into signing it, and he will.  Obviously, putting her on title is against my professional and personal advice, but he'll do it if it means "not losing her."

Call is a good idea.  I just dread that he's going to say "please write up the deed for us"
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Tell them you don't mix business with family and then recommend a lawyer you hate.

 
Thorn said:
I'm the oldest, there is another brother in between who lives away.  That brother went scorched earth (basically like some of the tough-guy advice here - grow a pair and tell her that's she's a psycho #####) after the phone call "admitting" cheating to my parents, and their relationship is strained as a result.  Also part of why I am hesitant to do or say anything that sends him away from the family and towards her.
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Your brother may have given you an in.  You can play the good cop to his bad cop.

I get the whole "Your brother is an adult and needs to learn about life consequences on his own" take, but some life lessons can be too expensive to learn, especially if she's already angling to get on his title.

 
Thorn said:
I'm the oldest, there is another brother in between who lives away.  That brother went scorched earth (basically like some of the tough-guy advice here - grow a pair and tell her that's she's a psycho #####) after the phone call "admitting" cheating to my parents, and their relationship is strained as a result.  Also part of why I am hesitant to do or say anything that sends him away from the family and towards her.
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I understand the bolded, but the question you have to ask yourself is what good are you going to do him by staying close enough to have a front row seat for the inevitable crash and burn?

He almost certainly won't listen to you, but if you give him the kind of advice he needs in a kind and sensitive way and he doesn't listen, then it's on him. But if you don't and things go the way they almost certainly will, I think you will regret not doing more to try and stop it.

 
ArbyMelt said:
Wow, his fiancee sounds exactly like my friend's wife. We warned him. He is miserable now. It only gets worse. You have to sabotage the relationship now, its for his own good.
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Sounds like the only way is to bang her and send the brother the video.

For the sake of the family

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
What is her play after you draft up the deed?  It is not as if it will be recorded without him signing and being aware of the matter.  I mean you are not going to release your legal work to the web where she can pick it up and then forge his signature and have it recorded.

I would call your brother with some follow up questions, not e-mail or text, but a voice call.  That will get everything out in the open. 

You might also share her e-mail with us so you, and we, can start sending her topless picks of us.  Your brother will wonder why he got in trouble for one pick when she has hundreds. 
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:lmao:

 
I've always found that people that are super worried about being cheated on are cheaters. People that project the crap they pull on other people

 
I know that you want to give your brother the benefit of the doubt, but maybe he really did cheat on her with the co-worker but is telling your parents he didn't (for a variety of reasons including embarrassment).

 
Thorn said:
So my brother is engaged to a pretty nutty chick.  She is very jealous, reads his emails and texts, and accuses him of stuff all the time.  A couple of months ago my brother called me, my mom, and my dad one day, and with her in the background yelling, "admitted" to each of us that he had cheated on her and that the wedding was off.  The wedding is planned for summer of 2018, so I don't even know what that means, but whatever.

FWIW, the "cheating" was my brother receiving a topless pic, and going to get a happy hour drink with, a co-worker, 18 months ago.  This was before he was engaged or living with the fiancee, but after they had been going out for a while.  At any rate, nothing physical, and after the happy hour he sorta wised up and stopped communicating with the co-worker.  She discovered this by reading his old work emails.

My brother has been in full-blown "I can't lose her" mode since.  Anyway, today I get an email from his work account that starts off "Hey [my full first name]".  The email asks me to write up a deed to put fiancee on title to his condo (I'm a real estate lawyer).  It didn't read like his writing, and to confirm my suspicion, I flipped through the last 50 or so emails from him to me, and none have a salutation of any kind.  Plus he's never called me my full first name in his life.

I have no idea how to respond.  If I call her out I fear that it will be the beginning of a wedge bxt us, and the first step towards estrangement (isn't this how it starts?).  Any bright ideas?
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Is she hot?   I mean, REALLY hot?  

If the answer is no, you tell this young man to start running and to start running now.  Don't look back.  Keep running.....and then run some more.

 
Write the title deed, but misspell her name, really butcher it, as many times as would reasonably fit in a legal document, and when she sends it back for a re-write, mess up other parts.

 
Wait, has anyone mentioned the co-worker willing to send topless pics?   That's hot

 
Thorn said:
So my brother is engaged to a pretty nutty chick.  She is very jealous, reads his emails and texts, and accuses him of stuff all the time.  A couple of months ago my brother called me, my mom, and my dad one day, and with her in the background yelling, "admitted" to each of us that he had cheated on her and that the wedding was off.  The wedding is planned for summer of 2018, so I don't even know what that means, but whatever.

FWIW, the "cheating" was my brother receiving a topless pic, and going to get a happy hour drink with, a co-worker, 18 months ago.  This was before he was engaged or living with the fiancee, but after they had been going out for a while.  At any rate, nothing physical, and after the happy hour he sorta wised up and stopped communicating with the co-worker.  She discovered this by reading his old work emails.

My brother has been in full-blown "I can't lose her" mode since.  Anyway, today I get an email from his work account that starts off "Hey [my full first name]".  The email asks me to write up a deed to put fiancee on title to his condo (I'm a real estate lawyer).  It didn't read like his writing, and to confirm my suspicion, I flipped through the last 50 or so emails from him to me, and none have a salutation of any kind.  Plus he's never called me my full first name in his life.

I have no idea how to respond.  If I call her out I fear that it will be the beginning of a wedge bxt us, and the first step towards estrangement (isn't this how it starts?).  Any bright ideas?
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Call him and ask about it?

 
TheFanatic said:
I've always found that people that are super worried about being cheated on are cheaters. People that project the crap they pull on other people
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guilty as charged - i was a mofo double dealin' pr1ck back in the day  :unsure:

so, yeah, i figured all of the ex- gfs were doing likewise  :shrug: was quite a hellish planet ...

THANX, BLOWCAINE ! ?

 
I hate this phenomenon.  My brother married a harpy due to his own inexperience.  I wish I had made my opinion known to him, and done so in a calm, caring manner.  It is what a good brother would do.

One reason I didn't was that I wasn't terribly older or experienced either.  I had a suspicion of future misery, but probably couldn't have effectively put my objections into words.

Anyway, intervention won't do any good.  Guys like that are already gone, mostly due to their own weakness.  He'll have to own it.  You don't have to enable it.  I actually think the Cable Guy scenario is the only reasonable option here.

I'm so grateful - the first girl I really fell for did me the immense favor of dumping me.  She was a "fixer", not a harpy or insane per se, but I would have been unhappy with her.  My wife leaves me be more often than I deserve.  I return the favor.

 
Ditkaless Wonders said:
What is her play after you draft up the deed?  It is not as if it will be recorded without him signing and being aware of the matter.  I mean you are not going to release your legal work to the web where she can pick it up and then forge his signature and have it recorded.

I would call your brother with some follow up questions, not e-mail or text, but a voice call.  That will get everything out in the open. 

You might also share her e-mail with us so you, and we, can start sending her topless picks of us.  Your brother will wonder why he got in trouble for one pick when she has hundreds. 
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This.  I assume you and your bro have a good relationship right?  Tell him to get rid of they psycho gal ASAP.  I can only assume she is a tiger in the sack which has completely clouded his judgement.  

 
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