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GM's thread about nothing (7 Viewers)

Sorry, Fish. That stuff scares the crap out of me since I turned 40 and have 2 young kids. I think I mentioned it before but every few weeks I wake up about 2-3 hours after I fell asleep convinced that I'm dead.

YSR - condolences to you (we say congrats, can we shorten that to condols with all the condols being passed around in here recently?). Isn't this your second friend in the last few months that's died doing some kind of adventure/sporting event?

Bob - Condols to you as well. Cancer sucks.

 
My god I feel like a totally different person right now. The lack of stress from constant deadlines has me limber and at ease. I needed this break in a major way. I haven't felt this loose since early January. My entire day has been spent on the couch in my pjs. I did a little work, sure, but I've mostly played MLB and watched Archer. I missed days like this.

 
'Disco Stu said:
'Thorn said:
Here is another hypothetical. Supposing you met this girl on Saturday night. You talked for a few minutes but weren't interested. But, she's friends with 2 or 3 really hot girls you know, so you act pretty nice, maybe even mildly flirty so she will tell the hot girls. She then friends you on FB on Sunday, and messages you the following on Monday:

Cute pics with the baby[fn1]... U know chicks love that rite? H**** has been trying to get us to meet for over a year now[fn2].. Just had a first date with J*** on sat. Nite...[fn3] Kinda bad timing...but things have a way of playing themselves out as they should!! So glad to have finally met you.. You are hilarious and very cute[fn4]..would love to hear about ur ireland times sometime[fn5]...its so beautiful there...have a great easter!

C******
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fn1. I have pics of me with my newborn nephew on my FB page.fn2. I sort of knew that H (one of the hot girls) had mentioned this, but I didn't realize the extent

fn3. I guess she introduced me to this guy. No idea why it's relevant. If it's been one date, you couldn't see someone else?

fn4. This is false.

fn5. I have lots of Ireland pictures, too.

So, how do I respond to this message, if at all? I want to say, you seemed nice, but I'm not interested, but you have hot friends that I don't want to think I'm a jerk. So tell them I'm cute and funny but don't message me when things with J don't work out.
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:lmao: Reply: Thanks, you too.

Polite, but sends the message that you aren't interested. If she's reasonably sane.
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:thumbup: apologies to 16 but I gotta go with the expert.
 
'Gadzooks said:
'Wrighteous Ray said:
'Gadzooks said:
And if you do have to point out the stain(s) what's the best excuse to use so you don't have to tell the dry cleaner (who is the mother of a girl I grew up with) that the stain is my own DNA which got on the pants due to getting a handy in the parking lot at work (note to Tanner: I did not pay for the handy)
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I'd recommend lying and saying it is somebody else's jizz on your pants.
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I like this idea. But that seems like it might seem a little weird. How about I say that I let someone else borrow my pants and he got the handy and he stained the pants? I'm thinking this is the shark hawk Guster move.
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I let my buddy borrow my pants and they came back all dirty. Not sure what it is, but looks like he's trying to play a joke on me...ETA - god, my reading comprehension is horrible. might want to read more than the first sentence.

I think that in this case you almost have to say something... if you don't and she notices is, then she might start wondering what type of guy you are. if you don't and she doesn't notice, it might not come clean. of course, the fact that you're a grown man lending your pants to a friend is a little bit odd... hmm.

maybe say you spilled your breakfast yogurt on yourself?

 
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Has anyone ever made a chimpanzee watch porn? If so, what was the monkey's reaction?

 
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'Gadzooks said:
'Wrighteous Ray said:
'Gadzooks said:
And if you do have to point out the stain(s) what's the best excuse to use so you don't have to tell the dry cleaner (who is the mother of a girl I grew up with) that the stain is my own DNA which got on the pants due to getting a handy in the parking lot at work (note to Tanner: I did not pay for the handy)
Click to expand...
I'd recommend lying and saying it is somebody else's jizz on your pants.
Click to expand...
I like this idea. But that seems like it might seem a little weird. How about I say that I let someone else borrow my pants and he got the handy and he stained the pants? I'm thinking this is the shark hawk Guster move.
Click to expand...
Letting another dude borrow your pants is ###er than giving him the handy yourself
 
'bostonfred said:
'Gadzooks said:
'Wrighteous Ray said:
'Gadzooks said:
And if you do have to point out the stain(s) what's the best excuse to use so you don't have to tell the dry cleaner (who is the mother of a girl I grew up with) that the stain is my own DNA which got on the pants due to getting a handy in the parking lot at work (note to Tanner: I did not pay for the handy)
Click to expand...
I'd recommend lying and saying it is somebody else's jizz on your pants.
Click to expand...
I like this idea. But that seems like it might seem a little weird. How about I say that I let someone else borrow my pants and he got the handy and he stained the pants? I'm thinking this is the shark hawk Guster move.
Click to expand...
Letting another dude borrow your pants is ###er than giving him the handy yourself
Click to expand...
what if it was payment for a backrub?
 
Condolences to all, I am in arrears. I have been distracted.

Not to change the subject, but I am ironing, naked, watching the Strip change from day to night. I love this town.

 
'bostonfred said:
'Gadzooks said:
'Wrighteous Ray said:
'Gadzooks said:
And if you do have to point out the stain(s) what's the best excuse to use so you don't have to tell the dry cleaner (who is the mother of a girl I grew up with) that the stain is my own DNA which got on the pants due to getting a handy in the parking lot at work (note to Tanner: I did not pay for the handy)
Click to expand...
I'd recommend lying and saying it is somebody else's jizz on your pants.
Click to expand...
I like this idea. But that seems like it might seem a little weird. How about I say that I let someone else borrow my pants and he got the handy and he stained the pants? I'm thinking this is the shark hawk Guster move.
Click to expand...
Letting another dude borrow your pants is ###er than giving him the handy yourself
Click to expand...
This thread could sure use some more of you.
 
Gave up my quest to join my 7 year old in his attempt to grow enough hair for "Locks of Love". He looks great. I, however, look like a giant jar of dooooche. Broke down and got the $30 hair cut with free beer, hair wash, scalp rub and neck shave. Just can't figure out how to style longish hair on my fat frame of a face. My co-worker asked if I was slurping sperm on the side. That was about it for long hair.

Sister got a job, drug test pending. This is a big step for her. However, she is already planning on using her new BOATLOADS on buying a puppy. :wall: :wall: :wall: :wall:

 
Sorry for the slow response. Yeah, it was the food co-op guy's kid. Pronija pegged the culprit, altho he was pretty far off on the descriptions. The c-op guys in not a hippie at all. More of an off the grid semi-survivalist. But he has great connections at Whole Foods and Central Market, getting lots of great food products from them at really good prices. He has four sons and the oldest worked for me a couple years ago, then the next, and finally this one. They are all very ahrd workers and until this one, the integrity has been spot on. This one caught me off-guard. Knowing his father and brothers, I placed a great deal of trust in him. He was extremely courteous and deferential. He completely snowed me. he was stealing from me from day one. On the last day he stole our wedding rings and some other jewelry. Wife is really pissed.

Anyway, I have know his father a long time and I want to work with him on what to do. All the stuff is in pawn shops, so first order of business will be to get it all retrieved. i don't really want to involve the police, as he'd probably get a couple years and be well on the path to worthless.I want to get my stuff back, but I also want to do whatever will be most likely to get the kid off the path he is on. Its kind of hard to be magnanimous because I get so furious when I think how he deceived me and took advantage of me. I mean, I fixed the kid lunch every day. Made his burgers with no cheese, no tomatoes. Give him advances. Let him get seat time on the tractor to try and learn to use the backhoe, yada, yada.

Anyway, his father is a good man and I told him I would do what he think will be best. His other son is now working on oil rigs in Oklahoma and he is thinking of sending him there where tolerance for bul#### and con artist is very poorly received.

 
'cosjobs said:
Sorry for the slow response. Yeah, it was the food co-op guy's kid. Pronija pegged the culprit, altho he was pretty far off on the descriptions. The c-op guys in not a hippie at all. More of an off the grid semi-survivalist. But he has great connections at Whole Foods and Central Market, getting lots of great food products from them at really good prices. He has four sons and the oldest worked for me a couple years ago, then the next, and finally this one. They are all very ahrd workers and until this one, the integrity has been spot on. This one caught me off-guard. Knowing his father and brothers, I placed a great deal of trust in him. He was extremely courteous and deferential. He completely snowed me. he was stealing from me from day one. On the last day he stole our wedding rings and some other jewelry. Wife is really pissed.

Anyway, I have know his father a long time and I want to work with him on what to do. All the stuff is in pawn shops, so first order of business will be to get it all retrieved. i don't really want to involve the police, as he'd probably get a couple years and be well on the path to worthless.I want to get my stuff back, but I also want to do whatever will be most likely to get the kid off the path he is on. Its kind of hard to be magnanimous because I get so furious when I think how he deceived me and took advantage of me. I mean, I fixed the kid lunch every day. Made his burgers with no cheese, no tomatoes. Give him advances. Let him get seat time on the tractor to try and learn to use the backhoe, yada, yada.

Anyway, his father is a good man and I told him I would do what he think will be best. His other son is now working on oil rigs in Oklahoma and he is thinking of sending him there where tolerance for bul#### and con artist is very poorly received.
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Ugh. That's terrible. You're too good a guy to have to deal with that crap. I'm thinking of crapping my pants at work tomorrow just to give this thread a little funny.

 
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My stepdad finished his battle with lung cancer this morning. No need for the spoiler tag, cancer wins again.

He taught me how to play chess, which at age 8 I was beating him pretty regularly after a couple of weeks. And he taught me racquetball, where at 17 and 18 years old, I never could beat him. He took care of my mom, who in their 30 years together, was sick more often than she was well. And never once was I "step" anything to him, only his son.

Love you Dad.

 
'Bogart said:
My stepdad finished his battle with lung cancer this morning. No need for the spoiler tag, cancer wins again.He taught me how to play chess, which at age 8 I was beating him pretty regularly after a couple of weeks. And he taught me racquetball, where at 17 and 18 years old, I never could beat him. He took care of my mom, who in their 30 years together, was sick more often than she was well. And never once was I "step" anything to him, only his son. Love you Dad.
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:(Sorry man.
 
Thoprawishes Bogart. Sorry for your loss.

mother####ing cancer. To quote a wise man. Life is so stupid.

We need some good news up in here soon.

 
The first time I used a loofah, I fell in love. It felt so much cleaner getting all that dead skin and sweat off my body. I used so much soap the shower looked like the inside of a washing machine just before the spin cycle. Then i tried washing my pecker with it. I can only desribe the color as an angry purple. Do not try this at home.

 
'bostonfred said:
The first time I used a loofah, I fell in love. It felt so much cleaner getting all that dead skin and sweat off my body. I used so much soap the shower looked like the inside of a washing machine just before the spin cycle. Then i tried washing my pecker with it. I can only desribe the color as an angry purple. Do not try this at home.
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wha...
 
'bostonfred said:
The first time I used a loofah, I fell in love. It felt so much cleaner getting all that dead skin and sweat off my body. I used so much soap the shower looked like the inside of a washing machine just before the spin cycle. Then i tried washing my pecker with it. I can only desribe the color as an angry purple. Do not try this at home.
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Where should I try it?
 
Going on a rare date tonight with the wife. Straight No Chaser is playing at the Long Center. Anyone seen them? We were big fans of Rockapella a couple of decades ago.

 
'Bogart said:
My stepdad finished his battle with lung cancer this morning. No need for the spoiler tag, cancer wins again.He taught me how to play chess, which at age 8 I was beating him pretty regularly after a couple of weeks. And he taught me racquetball, where at 17 and 18 years old, I never could beat him. He took care of my mom, who in their 30 years together, was sick more often than she was well. And never once was I "step" anything to him, only his son. Love you Dad.
Click to expand...
Sorry for your loss, GB. Thoprawishes.
 
T&P to everyone who has had someone pass recently. Not what I wanted to keep seeing after getting back from vacation.

 
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